Hi everyone,

Beginning of a new year and I'd figure I'd make a thread to keep track of things and stay motivated.

Long story short, I've been an off and on again zoom grinder since pretty much it became a thing. I'm a good winner across micro zoom poole's but mental issues always seem to prevent me from progressing further. I've played online in the manner of wanting to improve and learn the game around 12 yrs.

I'll stagnate at a certain limit when I have should have moved up a long time before that and when I do start approaching low stakes I get too emotional and upset at the monetary swings and just end up quitting due to tilt. This has been the story for me since forever.

Burnout is a massive problem also, I subjected myself to clearing two 800 buck RB challenges at micro zoom over 6 weeks at the end of 2020 and it really wrecked me. They offered me another for January but it's simply not worth that type of pressure.

Well what am I going to do differently this time. I've decided to quit zoom and go on the reg table grind solely. A buddy of mine suggested somewhere to play and I feel very comfortable there. I've bought a GTO solver and some other useful tools mainly for preflop. I've bought some basic gym equipment like a bike and weights to do some workout at home.

Personally things could be better but I'm not mega depressed or anything. Cognitively I feel pretty good but I suffer from bad anxiety + low self-esteem which can definitely manifest itself into my poker game. I find exercise helps a lot as does keeping a somewhat decent sleep schedule. One leak I know I got is I can be somewhat stubborn and aggressive at times when it comes to strategy, this is purely down to ego I think, and it's something I need to improve on upon if I do eventually join a studying group.

I'll be starting at 20nl. I have a decent BR behind me but I want to get used to the reg table grind again, a fairly quick transition onto 50nl if I can and get comfortable there and work on my strategy + mental game for at least a couple months. The goal after that would to be obviously move to 100nl and join a CFP group. The strategy side would be great of course but I think there's a lot more they can offer like emotional and life support with personal diaries and goals etc.

I know for certain what I've been doing over the years doesn't work long term now. It's time to change things up and move in a new direction. It's motivating for me to see buddies who I met through poker jump from micro zoom to midstakes + cash and I'm going to try my best to do the same. That's the long term goal.

I'll update fairly frequently with hands and what not!

Goals for January

* 10 hours of study per week with solver and studying preflop strategy
* 40k hands at 20nl cash reg tables, I'm not sure what the exact numbers are but I'm looking to play 4-6 tables 4 hours a day
* Exercise, even if it's only a few KM on my bike everyday
* Eat decently, junk food's never been a massive problem but I eat too much bread etc
* No drink binging, it rots my motivation and brain

GL to everyone playing ze pokers in 2021!

Good luck brother. I will be following and supporting you all the way. Forget what other people are doing, you are on your own personal journey and you are the sole author of your story. Use others as inspiration but don't compare yourself ever. I have great belief in you that you will do well in time. Just remember that there are no easy journeys in poker and you will have some tough moments on this current ascent, and times where you feel like you've taken two steps backwards - but success in poker is largely about learning to cope when the **** hits the fan and having the balls and the strength to get back on the saddle whenever you get kicked off. Whenever times get tough and you need someone to talk to, you know where I am.

Thanks for the heart felt post mate, it means a lot.

Wishing you the best in 2021

Gl buddy and hope you'll achieve your goals. Being self-critical in life is a big step for people who want to improve and I found this very evident in your post. Just don't give yourself too much of a hard times because there are multiple variables that can affect short term goals. Just keep a positive attitude and put the work into it!!

@ShipAK thanks

Weekly update.

First week has gone very well overall - transition back to regular tables took a few days but feels second nature now. Most (99%) of the regs are a good bit worse than the equivalent zoom stake on stars, fundamentally bad and unbalanced ( rando min betting with nuts, iso'ing short stacks w/ weak off suit aces, 3betting/calling the wrong ranges etc ). Overall games are soft and very beatable.

Study wise has been decent but I've dropped off the last 2 days and I don't think it's a coincidence it was during the period of the few thousand hands that things weren't really going my way ( this is kinda laughable when I view results ).

I study preflop a bit before sessions then post session sim the interesting spots but I need to approach this is a better way, for one I'm mentally tired when I finish the last session so information doesn't stick. In future I'm going to do one spot per day and write up a word doc about it and go in to detail just like I'd do if I was studying at school or whatever.

Volume wise a little behind monthly goal but yeah pretty good start overall - if I can win another 25-30 BI before the end of the month I'll move straight up to 50nl Feb 1st - I do NOT want to start dilly dallying around at a stake that I easily beat - it's masquerading fear tilt and the longer I'll dally the worst it'll become. Like I said in OP this is a major mental leak of mine.

Sleep schedule is pants atm, it's making me lethargic and moody, another goal for next week is to fix that!

Overall profit week 1 = 600.12 euros ( 45e in RB )

I'm very glad to see your thread,it motivates me！I will be following you.
Best wishes to you!

Nice results so far man. If burnout has been a big issue for you in the past, do you think it's worth setting a volume goal? If you've got the motivation to play, then trying to get in volume shouldn't be an issue, but you want to do it in a healthy manner, where you're in the right mindset to play, rather than just playing for the sake of hitting a volume goal.

Thanks, GL to you too

It's not crazy amounts of volume, 2/3 hrs a day so it's been fine for the most part. Gotta put in some decent volume to grind through the variance and make progress. Those RB challenges on stars damn near killed me though, won't be going through that again anytime soon.

Week 2 update.

Still plugging along, this week tested me a bit mentally as I went through a pretty long breakevenish stretch and kept running into top of regs/fish ranges. Started doing a daily recap of all the topics in the mental game of poker for the last few days, I'll rewrite it myself in a word doc in my own words it seems to be the best way of learning for me. The three topics I've covered so far are, The adult learning model, the Inchworm and the process model. I've read the book a long time ago but well worth going through parts of it daily to keep the methods reinforced.

I've put the solver stuff on hold for now and just want to focus on mental game. The games I'm playing in it isn't super relevant, bunch of tight regs who play really honest post and rest of the time trying to exploit fish. There's def a bunch of stuff I've improved upon already though just playing with it for a few weeks.

Unfortunately sleep schedule is still really bad although I did get up a couple hrs earlier today so need to keep working on it.

One fun hand

Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

SB: 32.1 BB
BB: 53.35 BB
Hero (UTG): 106.4 BB
CO: 100 BB
BTN: 95.1 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has T Q

Hero raises to 2.5 BB, CO calls 2.5 BB, fold, fold, fold

Flop: (6.5 BB, 2 players) J K K
Hero checks, CO bets 3.25 BB, Hero calls 3.25 BB

Turn: (13 BB, 2 players) A
Hero checks, CO bets 9 BB, Hero raises to 26.6 BB, CO calls 17.6 BB

River: (66.2 BB, 2 players) J
Hero bets 74.05 BB, CO calls 67.65 BB

Hero shows T Q (Royal Flush)
(Pre 38%, Flop 38%, Turn 100%)
CO shows A K (Full House, Kings full of Aces)
(Pre 62%, Flop 62%, Turn 0%)
Hero wins 188.1 BB

Profit this week was pretty good considering it's 20nl, I knew the first week results wouldn't be sustainable over a longer stretch. The rakeback has kind of dried up a little too, I completed all my challenges for extra points but I can still make a little.

Results Week 2 - 375 euros ( ~ 35e in RB )

Great results mate and props on the mental game work. Keep going!

Nice graphs + GL nuxxx.

Everything I've heard so far about these rakeback marathons sounds monstrous. Here's to a smoother 2021 grind.

glglglglgl in 2021 nux!

You're a sicko with those winrates, keep bashing heads in at the tables.

Shelly, Ceres and Trust, thanks lads

Ceres ye stars know exactly how to tick peoples buttons with those RB challenges. I'd imagine they think a lot of people will bust trying to clear them or quit half way through. They force people to play above their normal volume. It's a tactical decision on their part imo.

Week started off pretty well but ran into a rough stretch of bad card distribution/setups and running under EV. This is something I need to get used to if I'm going to continue on down this road - I have to be happy with how I played and focus on EV being the most important thing and not worry about "winning and losing".

I've done a decent amount of work with mental game stuff and it has definitely helped. I need to take a couple days off, probably Sat/Sun because the mental fatigue is kicking in a bit and mcgregor is fighting , played 21 days in a row now and not taken time off. Monday to the end of the month is another full week so will have a nice grind before Feb. Granted I haven't been drilling 10 hr sessions everyday, more like 2/3 hrs but it takes a toll.

Results Week 3 - 345 euros ( ~ 30e RB )

Impressive results! GL

@vrbik thanks mate, hope your games are going well

Goals for January

* 10 hours of study per week with solver and studying preflop strategy

First two weeks of the month I did pretty well studying some solver stuff and then mental game but it tailed off badly for the last two

* 40k hands at 20nl cash reg tables, I'm not sure what the exact numbers are but I'm looking to play 4-6 tables 4 hours a day

Achieved this one

* Exercise, even if it's only a few KM on my bike everyday

Was fairly consistent with exercise, missed a few days here and there but most days either did a few KM on the bike or went for a decent walk

* Eat decently, junk food's never been a massive problem but I eat too much bread etc

Not a tonne of junk food, I think I got two takeaway fast food meals all month. potatoes veg + meat for dinner most days

* No drink binging, it rots my motivation and brain

This was a fail, I drank 4 times this month, and went off the rails fairly hard this weekend. Played some low stakes PLO which I shouldn't be doing - luckily I won a couple stacks and didn't do any damage, massive warning sign though. It's kind of like a feeling of, OK you got to the end of the month and did pretty well, now what? The now what needs to think of the longer term, maybe at the end of the year I can relax and go a bit mad, but not now.

Here's weekly NL graph Results 415~ euro ( 35 in RB )



Monthly NL Graph



Overall results Results for January = Profit of 2006.19 euros

That includes some micro zoom on stars, rakeback,plo and NL. I can't graph PLO hands beyond 25nl.

I think the most important goal for February is to get some type of normal schedule going. Waking up late in the day when it's borderline dark outside is not good for mental health at all , trying to deal with depression/anxiety and grinding at the same time is a recipe for disaster, which almost cultivated this weekend. Luckily this time it went my way and I had sense to quit but yeah - genuinely don't know what came over me.

Previous two days I've gotten up relatively early, Saturday up at 11am and today and 1pm, which is still too late but at least it's a start. I can sleep fine after a few beers but obv I can't depend on that long term lol. I'll just have to keep trying to make big changes in my life for the better.

I'll try keep the same volume goals for February, if I can maintain a decent sleep schedule I'll have way more time for studying and it'll greatly help the mental health side of things. I took a couple shots at 50nl which went decent but barely any volume there at all - on weekends I'll start playing 50 solely if I feel good mentally since BR on my main site can now allow it.

It's not easy this game but I ain't going to quit anytime soon, will stick with it. Luckily I have one or two close poker mates who help me through the mental stuff at times - without them I don't think it would be possible. Would advise anyone in a similar situation to think about joining a stable or something of that sort, technical skill is important but mental game is by far and away the most important skill in poker imo, at least the stakes I'm playing.

GL everyone in February

Nice month! All your graphs are like "line to sky"
GL in February

Nice achievement! Your graphs is my idealized state.
GL man!