Hello everyone, whats up.

I'm 26y/o,I had okayish PGC thread going on here last year, but due to big downswing that I am in atm and numerous mental breakdowns i have stopped posting. After month of same unstructured and unhealthy living i've finally decided to put hard efforts in trying to spin out of this Groundhog day that im living for the past ~6 months.

last thread:




Quick 2017 recap

Had 20k december of 2016th,then binked 22k in january on wmx series, then resultwise poker went really north. I have played few live tourneys 500-1k buyin, cashed few, i am shocked with softness of it but my running in them is really aweful. Online went completly breakeven for the year which is really sad. Been to Hong Kong, was ravaging Wan Chai and Lan Kwai Fong for a while, played some poker in Macau, freerolled a whole trip in a session. Did redemption trip to Hilandar monestary at Sveta Gora ( Greece ) , went to seaside twice , 1 music festival and a lot of Jack and Jameson in between. Had start of an relationship that also went north mostly because both of us are in some sad places atm but that might change, or w/e, i dont want to care much about it atm tbh. Oh, i have also played maybe 3 basketball games for the year and tabletennis once. Have ate 5 junkfood deliveries per week and smoked too much weed to have account for, so i have 10-15kgs more than same time 2017th and about 20k euros less.


I've started grinding micro mtts around october to regain confidence in my skills but again after few weeks of it i took too many shots and runned aweful so i gotta regroup again. Way that im doing it now is just kind of clicking buttons to work it out and occasionally spewing in some simple spots in deepruns so i really need to change all of that. im staked and in pretty friendly environment with good deal and almost total schedule freedom (which is two sided coin obv) so plan is to really grind it out for few months and see what happens next. My pokerstars lifetime graph is pretty sad which is mostly due to gigantic fields and big variance but i wont be playing PS.EU on regular basis. I'm almost broke but i can handle couple of months on my own and hopefully i can make some money, so i can reevaluate later about next steps.

My theoretical knowledge about the game is really in the top 5% of the fields that i play in (wmx up to 100e mostly), but running bad for a long time is a really sad place to be in, since days come when I doubt in everything that I do and that one day melancholy can translate so fast into 15 20 days span and i really cant allow that going on no more.

2018 goals

I dont want to set volume goal for the year in terms of MTTs played since i have really strong urge to start playing some different format (pbb cashgames) since 3 years of MTTs are really damn lot and i feel like i need a change. Im also considering to get out of poker but too many pieces have to fit for that to be possible so i wont be ranting about that too much first couple of months. 6000 seems like a bare minimum anyway.

-4 grinding days per week ( so it's around 200 mtts p/w at this rate )
im used to this pace so thats okay. i need to implement constant grind routines in terms of everyday reviewing yesterdays session, healthy food prep and doing Wim Hof breathing method which i found out about recently and im really delighted with the impacts on my mindset and focus. obv, atm that is also being procrastrinated but im gonna give it a fight. i usually do SOME of these things everyday but usually with no structure or planning. I actually just do things, and the goal of this PGC is to change that.

-Update thread after every session and post interesting hands and megaspews and write about thinking processes

-Smoke during the breaks
Im pretty heavy smoker obv, pack a day is a good day, but i really hate when i light it just because i have some spare time or whatever. while im playing it can get pretty nasty in terms of clear breathing air in the room + i dont have any control with amount of cigs smoked when i play. i have played live tournaments and had 3 hours without it pretty ez most of the time and had a month in which i already implemented breaksmoking so i think this is realistic. I really plan to stop smoking in 2018th but first i have to be able to grind without it.

-Exercise and nutrition
I'm in really sad place regarding this topic so I wont be going bananas here about some XX number of trainings per month and giving up after 1 or 2. Getting slowly in the pace in Feb and consider gym from March sounds fine. Plan is to wakeup and do 10 minutes of it for starters, hit the shower, eat. Less bread, NO junkfood, NO soda juices, more fruit , less candies ( 1 bar per day ). A big no no of buying any amount of weed to be in my home since i just roll it and smoke it until there is none, unrelated to what i have to do that day or whatever. I like weed, but like every habbit it can be good servant, but poor master so i ll give my best to balance it. I dont have need/urge to use it everyday but i cant resist if i have it in my box.

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That's it for now, i will update after first session played. Salut.

Iiiiiiiiiin!!!

Lets ****in go!!

Best of luck in 2018 mate! Hit me up if u wanna talk anything even besides pokerz.

Subbed once again!

(Will read extensively and come back soon)

Subbed. Read your story in the other thread. You reminded a bit of myself. Keep your head up. Best of luck this year

Gl bro

GL. And make quitting smoking a priority. Not knowing anything else, if I was betting on a match b/t you and a clone and one of you didn't smoke I'd take the non-smoker.

GL 2018 Leszgo

gl in 2018

gl boss

ty bro and welcome back

it's tough being self conscious degen who is irresponsible but likes to take responsiblity fit in profile? ty mate and gl to you too

tyty and welcome

id take me,im much more crooked than that healthy biatch. welcome

ty,u 2. gotta say that i've learned(/got confirmation about) a lot from your pgc, u print some golden advices there so tyvm for that

ty, u 2 beast

ty bro



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I wasn't supposed to play tonight, but my date(watching Molly's game / havent been @cinema for ages) got moved for saturday so I fired up some timbeys while NOT doing any prepration or anything that i said that i was gonna do, but it was off my schedule to even play today so i guess that's fine.

When I start session unprepared it usually starts like this. This was really FIRST HAND OF THE FIRST TOURNAMENT.



Random villain. Dont 3bet ? Dont barrel like mongoloid ? Sure. However it's good that this was first hand since after that i didnt had any critical spews later, i got mad on myself bcs of this hand and got into the A(/B) game for most of the time. Think I've played fairly good, had bunch of ITMs and one 5eu wmx donkament FT in which i was carddead but session was BE/small profit. Amount of criminal plays in 3 orbits of that ft was really enormous but it's to be expected for that kind of field, just need that smaaalll run tho. Lost couple valuable flips and runned terrible in postflop in other deepruns but I cant influence it so that's cooooool.

I woke up early today so I was pretty tired but I was very disciplined with game selection and i will hopefully keep it that way for now. I've marked few preflop giis for review.

oh ive just found one more brainfart spew:



These hands happen when I'm completly absent mentally from that table or w/e and i just find myself OTR and click random buttons. I dont play too many tables, it's just that i find myself checking facebook/ig/skype in the middle of the session for no apparent reason. So i ll deactivate FB and keep skype logged out for the time when i have full tables. I know all of this is cliché for ze MTT grinders but man gotta do what man gotta do. I know there are couple of tiny things that can improve my focus(winrate) a lot and i want to make it right.

So tommorow i gotta wake up and EXERCISE, and play some pokerzzz for no less than 10 hours. LFG

I feel pretty cool since some legends hopped in to wish me GL and that have boosted my mood so ty again boiz.

actually 88 isnt so bad as it seems.

How do you prepare yourself before the session?

I am thinking to close facebook aswell. Mainly because i will watch a video before bed or in the toilet and i lose half hour afterwards. Sometimes i lose even two hours which sucks

I dont have any specific routine, but i've noticed that if I just sit and fire up 12-15 tables im usually not in the brightest mental place to play, which translates to not being able to play A game until I identify (or not) that my brain is rusty and regroup my thoughts on the break. Of course that sometimes I tilt myself pretty bad with spews so playing full session is an torture and this is imo biggest downside of MTTs - not being able to take some minutes off if needed.

Anyway, I like taking 15 - 20 minutes walk before the session and clear my mind that way. Preparing food is important, and Im failing hard in that part. Also, I've found WimHof breathing excersice which is pretty awesome but it includes cold showers and it's pretty cold here atm + I have an cold so Im not able to do it atm but I will include it in my pregame routine as soon as I get better. After doing that 30 min excersice you feel so relaxed and mind is very clear and focused. Here is the link if someone's interested https://www.wimhofmethod.com/ .

I dunno how to meditate per se but I'll investigate that at some point. I dont want to implement too many new habbits, gotta do it step by step and not burst out.

As far as facebook goes, I dont see any point in having it atm. I mean, his communcation features are surpased by a big margin by viber/whatsup . I find it useful mostly to catch up with few friends that are in foreign countries, but that's less than 10% of the time that im using it at all. Usually I just scroll homepage relentlessly, and at some point get mad on myself for being ****** and staph it

I saw discussion in your thread about evbb/100 with different stacksizes and want to share my thoughts about that. This is my BB>4k on wmx graph (avg stack 30-40, few levels before itm) and results in that period:



evbb is 7.5

I'm no ICM expert but I've played sngs in the past and have worked in icmizer, I really dont make huge ICM spews, so that being said i really think that I should have made at least double of the money in this timespan. Sample is small and it cant show number of times when Ive lost very standard 15-25bb PFAI spot / get into the top of the range postflop, which when u re deep is pretty big difference EV$ wise and u cant see it from looking at the graphs by any mean.

In August one respected coach did me an database review as I was really struggling with my results and his impression was that Im able to play abi 30-40 on stars/anything on wmx, but man no ***** results or binks happened EVER . So finally im in the place where IDGAF about results and I ll just go and grind it out until it breaks, or die trying. Need to pump up the volume for sure.

Gl, love the thread!

Something I found works really well for me atm is cook a lot of chicken (600g or so) in some sort of flavouring, then buy packet rice.

then I separate into 5 tupperwares and microwave with half a pack of packet rice. It takes like 2 minutes and is a good meal that fills you up.

Obviously vegetables are important, but I get round this buy eating raw salads with dressing on.

Just a couple of ideas!

I strongly insist that ev bb is very important. Why? Because it is the only measurement you can have in mtts. If you have good ev the results will come or they should come eventually or you will suffer less variance from a person with lower ev bb. Of course you will find exceptions but this is poker

Also keep in mind that the size of the field is extremely important. You can play around with a variance simulator and compare the standard deviation in a field of 500 people and a field of 2000 people

Chicken and rice is cool idea, i dont eat rice at all and i was eating a lot of it when i was in HK and I really like it. I'll implement it, ty and welcome

yeah, i can agree with that. was playing with them and it's disgusting



Anyway,i've started session early and wanted to do marathon today but im really tired and more sick than i was yesterday so i ll finish these few tables that i have running from bed and wrap it up. Catch some nap and maybe continue later but it's highly unlikely that i will feel better after. It's pbb better to get some rest and crush sunday.

I was in bed for 1.5 days after last update. Had 37.2 temperature , most sneaky SOB ever. Woke up Saturday 4am with fever, sweat and icecold chillz in my bones. Something like effect of very strong molly, as I reminisce of good ol' days, but without that good drive part (unfortunatly). Anyway, I was feeling fine for the most part of the Saturday and was pretty anxious to hop on the grind on Sunday.

I've slept ~14 hours, woke up @11, downloaded GSW-BOS and watched it without spoilers or knowing result (big NBA fan here as i forgot to mention in OP). Really great show by both teams,esp Kyrie and Steph obv. Celtics are most def only team from the East that can compromise GSW by any means. I'll put in some NBA talk in later posts if anyone's interested...

Anyway, I went out for a walk, did some shoping and came back for the grind. Have cleaned my office previously, made some cold pasta with tuna and veggies (gotta start with smt ) for later and hopped in sunday mix. Started running pretty pure for change but as soon as BB goes over 20k on WMX ( final <4 tables of most tournaments ) setups begin... Like I pickup most of the small pots and really outplay most of the ppl in every single spot but when push comes to shove chips go other way and there is no way around it yet.

This was first session for a while in which I was actually so much tilted that I had to stop registering around 19:30 with plan being register up to 22h+ as I was in really good mood and my stamina was fine. Sometimes is so hard to be nonresult orriented when in 3 minutes your table count goes from 12 to 4 and all 8 spots were trivially standard.

And then I had somewhat standard hand and chat after it triggered me to stop registering actually. OR is some random reg and flatter is whale



I think everything is pretty much standard, i was pretty unhappy with scenario going on and flop should pbb be a check but i expect reg to flat wider range since he's aware of the whale behind him so im somewhat okay with the cb. Anyway, after the hand chat happens... Reg starts berating fish in manner like ''LOL GOOD CALL'' or smt like that and keeps talking some strat BS to the fish like '' WHAT DO U BEAT I PLAY ALL MY VALUE HANDS LIKE THAT'' which makes me realise that he's pretty bad and clueless about how the game works since 1)he made magnificent spew with whale and me behind 2)he's berating whale for making pretty standard whale call there. I know he's reg from the stats and I scope him and I see he's like up 60k in last 3 months on abi 30 and my brain starts being filled with toxic, envious and selfpity thoughts like 'why that guy deserved 60k heater and I cant win sheit' i.e.

I was more triggered by the fact that I was triggered than it really affects me that a player lot worse than me made more money. In last few months I saw too many players with much(VERY MUCH!) worse game than mine making soo much money and that **** pbb accumulated and I reaaally hate myself for finally getting in the stage of feeling somewhat envious. I was never envious by nature and sure as hell wont become because of this dumb game FML for being aware, ignorance is bliss (NOT TRUE).

Anyway, i continued clicking 3 tables and then freaking phase 11, for which Ive totally forgot, started and I was like NOOOOOOOooOOOO. I regged afterwork on WMX and few turbos and kept clicking... Got deep in both phase and after. Obv i finished around 50th place AK<AJ for 45bigs in phase but I was already pumped out and it was fine, another day in the office, w/e. Still had that after work going ,avg 30bb i had 45, 25ppl left and 5k up top. I got KK on the BTN, utg limp, mp shoves 20 biggies with 44.



Then I was going up from 10 to 25 blinds for a while and finally shoved 13bb BTN tens and run into BB aces and that is the end of my sunday session.

I'm sorry for being a wuss and crying about zillion badbeats, it's not standard behaviour for me, but some(?)times is like that, only today it was somewhat harder for me to turn that result emotion switch off mostly because I was running pretty hot after more than a while and then bricked everything -usually I just brick everything. But I'm no pussey, will be back in teh ring tmrw. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LODkVkpaVQA

GL sir long time lurker

played with you quite a bit on the fr sites in the 10-30e tourneys

make sure you check out the spanish pokerstars site , it's basically es + fr and it opened up to euros a few days ago .

Its good to write bad beats / whining in PGC. It helps me personally. Some times i can laugh when uploading a bad beat or a random whine and i have gifs attached

Hopefully you ll run better. I understand the feeling to play against a bunch of average sunrunners

Hey man,

It sux to keep running like shiet (obv) but wanted to share 2 things in here that may, or may not, help a bit.

I ve written this story in my PGC as well but it is just so true that i have to write it here as well.

See the thing is this, i have 2 poker buddies (both better than me, but actually thats a good thing 4 me to progress) that would talk strat etc for quite some time. I crystal clear remember like 3 years ago, another local "hero" that i always thought he plays well (super aggro) but i constantly remember him, discussin beats/tough luck stories and almost always having a prob with tilt.

Point is, as I said, I always thought he was very good until 1 day on a random poker conversation with one of the abovementioned poker-buddies of mine, my friend told me the following which i ll never forget:

"Why u look-up to this guy? Cause he made 2-3 big scores? Cause he knows what "he should have done" in some spots? Being a poker player is an ALL-AROUND thing. Where he stands today? He aint very good man, he could have been very good but as i said is a shieeeetload of things to be very good at, in order to be very good in poker".

The above are NOT meant to "attack" you in any way or whatever. On the contrary i wanna give u strength to keep pushing and keep trying ur best. Its all you can do afterall (u already know this obv).

Be strong buddy u GOT this!!

"It's always darkest be4 the dawn".

2MuchLuck, is es open to all euro countries now? I tought its only Spain+France, and people from other countries couldn't play?

most european countries , exceptions are belgium/portugal/uk (thats about it i think)

Ty and welcome
Ye, i hopped in there, it's always good to find new burning money platforms
Pm me your sn

Ah you know, i dont like whining about things that are completly common, altough I find pretty tough playing sessions atm. I made this pgc so I could motivate myself to keep on clicking buttons... Maybe I'll jump in the gif game but not sure how to do it. Most def have material for it since I play a lot of crazy hands on wmx.

Ty for the post. I don't feel it as attack so it's all cool and I'm really grateful for any kind of motivation posts that I get so <3

yup...

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So, another brick city session. I'll take couple days off to recover from this illness, I still feel some pain in my throat and it's very possible that my not-great physical condition is having bad influence on my mental game. Will start playing on February 1st and will play up to 30 only to regain my confidence and to play somewhat 'stressless' sessions until I see that i can actually win smt, maybe reg some higher .es series timbeys...

I have pretty strong thoughts about quitting playing full time but on the one hand I'm somewhat deep in the makeup and on the other I gave too much of myself to be good in poker to quit now. Also, quitting it now without much(any) money in my pocket would most likely make me do some hustles on skreeets from which poker actually saved me back in the day. But for sure I wont be grinding online MTTs at the end of the 2018th whatever happens. After 3 years I just feel like I had more than enough of them ( altough not resultwise )...

I mean, screw money and EV and whatnot when I'm not happy with what I do at the moment. I feel like some monkey that sits and clicks and hopes that everything goes well, and seeing many clueless ppl that dont work on their game anyhow making good money while making aweful mistakes constantly really has big impact on my brain and mood and I dont want to live my life like that. I hate thinking dark and negative, but every single day I wake up and have big desire to grind and after session ( since I dont make any money ) I feel too bad. And when u grind MTTs , like 80%+ of the days you will be loosing money and longterm negative impact of so much stress is something that I think about a lot.

few hands :

1) spazz :



2) hero call 1



3) hero call 2 3 4 5 and 6





Now I'm gonna go out to walk my Mal a lil bit since I didnt do that for a while. Will be writting February goals in my next update.

Cheers guys and thank you for reading, it means a lot in these dark days

Short January recap:

First session of January was +4k, after it there was WMX series fiasco and one Top50 3rd place where i made icm punt 3 handed and took 1.5k. I dont find myself quite often in such spots lately so I can live with that.





I runned terrible in some $ev short-middle stack situations and I am aware of that, but I did some reviewing after crying about bad run and found numerous punted tournaments on some silly bluffs,and considering the softness of the fields I play and population tendencies ( to not fold ) that is not the way they should be played. I have so many better edges so there is no excuse for punting even one stack altough from theoretical perspective it might have some sense. As I believe that poker is the game of skill, I really dont want to acknowledge any sort of running bad as the reason for my terrible results lately, I'll concentrate on improving my game, mostly in making exploitative plays (FOLDING!) as I've recognized that my game atm is not suitable for the games that I play. I also had flue and was bored AF with Molly's game yesterday so that was my January.


February goals

1) 1000 MTTs

So, I am unhappy with many things going on, but none of them tilts me more than lack of my own efforts. Nothing is stopping me from trying harder.

-Do big review after 2 sessions played, check out where were the biggest leakings, write about them here.

2) Excersise + health goals:

As I am completly failing in this part so far, I wont be doing some spartan sheit that I was trying before and give up after 1X> days. I've read a lot about habbit implementing and will go step by step.

-Wake up, drink water / do toilette stuff , DO 10-15 MINUTES OF EXCERSISES , shower ,

-Eat. Less bread, no sodas, no candies, no overeating. Im also not curently in great financial state so I can't go YOLO on healthy eating since it would increase my monthly spendings.

-Smoke less and focus on thinking about stopping, just to get the idea running. Smoke weed only on completly free time or not at all

-Take a walk with dog after session. As I have 1.5y/o Malinois which I have pretty much resented in the last couple on months in terms of giving any attentiton, that gotta change as I love that insane SOB. Also, cooling off on vacant streets is always good.

That's about it for now. I will try to keep updating after every session. GL guys

I was reading blakkmans thread and read something about having enough tables so you dont think

and went for it today:


+2k day after while, noot baaad at all. I mean I knew I was able to play 15 16 mtts at the same time but what I figuered out today is that if I play that much for whole session a)I dont have time to level myself into marginal calls/raises/level myself at all b)I dont find anything on the tables stresful (bad beats/bad reg plays/w/e) SINCE I DONT SEE IT. So thank you blakkman08, I owe you beer if we ever meet.

As for how the session went, it could be more money, had a lot of interesting hands and spots and this money is from 2 wmx PKOs which i've finished 3rd :/ Both were pretty easy and standard most of the time but couldnt win flips when I went short. I'm also alive in two more tournaments,maybe I get to close smt more tonight,we'll see. I fired 75 MTTs which is awesome.

some hands

1)Spewed one hand/timbey as I can recall. I mean flop was kind of explo raise as they were opening/flatting a lot and plan was to give up if called but I got my fd OTT and OTR i needed to pull the trigger. He tanked to the last second and called, ***** mofo didnt asked himself who bluffs here 3/9 on 20eu tourney ((( I fked up flop sizing and went too large ... It was 9 regs left on .es so I guess In those kind of spots I need to push the edge a lil bit but this was way excesive




2) Here I was argued that shoving turn gets better RNG response for the river, opinions? I mean, I need to call off vs that imbecile but fml with these spots, In last 2 months I cant win this spot, 16 left 3k up top pbb cl spot




I def needed this boost and I feel very good atm and can't wait to hop into grind again tmrw. Or maybe I'll skip tommorow but that's only because it's kind of PKO day and i hate PKOs altough they made me money today...

Bang bang!!!

Grats on the day and turnaround man! Now its time to PUSH!!

I couldnt agree more with you and blakkman about the table count issue. As long as i am occupied with decisions I remain focused during session. The momment my tables drop, social media crap etc. start, so i make an effort to have at least 10 running. (I cant do >12 atm mainly due to bad setup). This actually works!

What is more the table count thing helps me a lot with fps as well! I remain solid and focused and dont go super bananas frequently enough and bang my head on the wall afterwards.

69s defend pre seems super standard to me, but i have doubts about the rest. Given the reads/info provided i can understand the effort to ride the polar express OTF 3way here (i prefer this HU, although sm1 could argue that 3way it shows even greater strength) but as we pick up equity OTT (and we are HU now) i can see myself try to check it through/check-shove OTT (who double check-raises and doesnt have it right?). This logic is supported by the fact that u CRUSH competition.

Who the fu.ck folds TP in 20$'s anyway

Just my thoughts always with good intention

LFG February!!

Cheers bud.