We are here about poker right? Specifically me and poker. Who am I? Where am I going? What do I want from this? I guess my goal is kind of simple and kind of hard. I want to monetize poker long term, push myself to be the best player I can be, and test myself in the best games in my area. I could be in a really good spot to succeed not only in poker but in life. But I could be delusional and just repeating a cycle of mistakes I’ve maybe been making my whole life way before poker?


2009. Brooklyn, New York.

It’s early. Well who am I kidding, its pretty late. 6:15 AM. Time to get home and think about work. The weekly ½ game has really become stuff of legends. I can’t even remember how much I left with that night. But the game taught me everything I knew about poker. It started as a once a month two table MTT and had quickly morphed into a ½ game that ran all night every Thursday and saw thousands of dollars exchange hands. The game was nuts. Crazy foreigners on credit, players casually doing key bumps of cocaine throughout the night, side bets etc. We were all young (haha not all of us) and loved to gamble and had cash to blow.

So I’m stumbling home thinking about going to the fake job I had. Been working from home for like two years in which the last 1.5 years I decided the job/company sucked and decided I’d work just two hours a day. Great job! The phone rings and I’m gonna have to lie to my boss again about all the work I’m going to be doing. He tells me there is a conference call at 7:30 and not to head into the city. No problem for me and I reload my bong. 7:30 comes and I’m now laid off with over 50% of my department. Apparently they actually took an honest look at the department and probably realized how much money they were wasting on people like me and positions like mine. I wish I knew it at the time but I should have left the working world forever.


2014. Foxwoods to Atlantic City to Massachusetts.

My cell phone rang. I was sitting at the ½ table at Foxwoods with a nice stack of green and reds. I’ve been really doing it these past four months. See I had decided to quit my $12.25 job and grind the local cash games and Foxwoods. The leap was a bit easier to take as I also applied to one of Boston’s local trade unions. I had a job lined up if I got in and it was really more a formality but you never knew. However, it was this phone call where I found out I was in. At the time I felt like everything was really going to work out. Nice union job, union pay, union bennies. Nothing to worry about. Life solved.

So this nice little $7500 bankroll I had built up. Well I didn’t really need a bankroll right? Maybe I could just play ⅖ now? Hop in all those PLO games? Well my trip was taking me south to Atlantic City with some of my best friends. A bit of vodka sodas started my night at Harrahs on the ½ table. My night ended there as well blind shoving $500 stacks well into the moring. I found myself on the beach in the blistering sun the next day $4700 lighter. A few hazy memories of sucking people out and a blackjack pit were all I had. Bankroll pretty much burned. But **** it. Time to head back to Massachusetts broke again.

Massachusetts 2017:

Well here I am. Its Tuesday morning. Slightly hungover. Had some medicial whiskey last night. Three glasses of Makers Marks on the Rocks. Each one kept getting bigger as the bartender realized I was probably her best shot at a decent tip on an otherwise slow night. It worked. +EV move by her for sure. -EV for me. Well maybe, its just another line on what is turning into a nice little credit card bill.

I got that voice inside telling me to get back at it. Got to hit the felt and start hussling again. This time I really don’t want to stop. 2016 saw me build a nice five figure bankroll early in the year. Did I really punt it all? Between a downpayment on a car, two trips to Vegas, one to Montreal, and a rather active dating situation saw me end the year with none of it. And who am I kidding, there were a few nice punt sessions involved.

But its life and this is kind of how I’m used to living it. I’ve kind of moved in and out of just about every conventional job field you could imagine. I’ve never stayed at a job more than two or three years and never really found much extended success. I’ve always been bored, lacked any motivation or intellectual curiosity, and honestly never really applied work ethic. The most successful I was in the my young work experience was as a marijuana dealer. Sadly, that in itself came with a whole other set of problems that I had to deal with at the time and had to deal with years after. Plenty of good stories and thoughts there.

And don’t get me wrong. The road traveled has been worth it. It’s would be a lie to say there are no regrets, but I’ve accepted my mistakes and realize that within those mistakes lies the key to success for me. My road traveled has been pretty unique and I like to the think the road I’m going to travel on is going to continue to be that way.

So I’ve rambled quite a bit.


I got $1000 set aside in a separate bank account. I got a hangover to get rid of. I got degenerate demons inside me ready to attack. I’m optimistic, excited and scared. I’ve still got my union job although its becoming more apparent that its nothing more than just another hussle for me. I am able to Uber when I need for some cash as well and do have an active unemployment claim for when I'm not working (part of the union deal) Bills are paid for January, got about 2.5 k in credit card debt, 12kish car loan. I do have a tax return coming in March. Lets ****ing go?

I find it funny how contradictory these two statements are:

1. "bills are paid for January"
2. "got about 2.5k in credit card debt"

You realize that a CC is a bill as well? They will kill you on interest rates if you don't get them paid off right away. Get that **** figured out ASAP before you worry about building a roll.

I do. $33 in interest this past statement. And you are right about that contradiction! Funny little spot I'm in. I'm well aware of the delightful mess I've created for myself.