I need to update this if only to vent a little bit.

Life goals are going well... lifting, diet, meditation are going great. In fact, meditation is pretty amazing. I do it for 45 mins every day, and I feel absolutely amazing (when I'm not playing poker.. ill get to that in a bit)

Bad news with life is I had to put my dog down 10 days ago.



This is a pic from her last day hanging out in the park and eating taco bell and bacon. It was the first time I ever had to put a dog down and it was pretty gut-wrenching, but I feel like spending that last whole day with her and making it as special as possible made it a little easier. I ended up taking 4 days off from playing because it was too stressful when I knew she was only gonna be around for a few more days.

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Poker

I'm getting massacred, and it feels like it's never going to end. I'm still generally in good spirits as I'm really focusing on my mental game, but I still have my rants to a friend of mine on Skype (sorry dude).

These are my results for the year.



Add another 8k hands and -$750 between between today and yesterday which I don't have the HH's for yet. Today was one the worst days yet.

Here is my lifetime graph:



So at about hand 230k I'm at $14k profit, and today, at hand 350k and $13.4k profit (when u include today's results). That's a 120k hand BE stretch. If any of you out there have experienced a BE stretch like this one or know someone who has I could really use some support via personal accounts or stories of other friends/players you're familiar with. It would help to know I'm not alone. I feel like the worst case scenario line in that variance calculator

I've made some bad plays earlier in this stretch.. it's really tough to play my A game through all of this, but recently I feel like I'm playing the best I ever have. I'm studying 1-2 hours a day and playing AT LEAST 8 hours a day. My 45 minute meditation sesh comes right before my big session for the day, so I feel great going into it. I also take 5 minute meditation breaks if I start to feel tilted after losing a big pot. It helps a ton, but man I'm just getting brutalized over and over.

I'm going to be in very big trouble financially if this doesn't turn around in the next month.

Playing this game for a living was supposed to be easy!

Please try and make me feel better I'd be forever grateful!!

I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.

very sorry to hear about your dog! having dogs my whole life/being a animal lover i can identify, regardless of them being a animal they are family. you should definitely get another dog in the future.


as far as the felt, you still playing FR or 6, you game selecting well? not really a fan of the whole conspiracy theory type stuff but from reading these threads including the bovada one it seems alotta regs have been getting crushed so far this year/since the new update, some to the point of quitting. i, myself got my sh*t rocked pretty good in january just getting bent over in every direction no matter how good i was getting it in but things have turned around this month. there has been rampant cheating apparently going on judging by all the refunds people saying theyve recieved, you get anything? stay positive and focused and keep working hard like you say youve been and it will turn around! give any thought to playing live at all? GL bro

Yeah honestly after seeing everyone else running bad, and then this cheating ring get busted, I'm seriously wondering about continuing with Bovada and/or online poker in general. The variance is bad enough without the other BS added in.

GL OP, hope next month is better for you.

Sorry about your dog. My dog that I grew up with passed away about a year ago and it was really tough. It's great that you got to spend a few days with him at the end and give him lots of love and attention.

In regards to the poker, it's not a great idea to compare your downswings to other people. Honestly it all depends so much on your skill level and how big your winrate is in the games you play, among other things. A reg grinding out a couple bb/100 on stars in 2016 having a 100k hand breakeven stretch vs a reg grnding out 15bb/100 on stars 10 years ago for example are obviously going to have very different potential swings. In regards to your downswing, it is possible to be playing well and go through this kind of variance over this sample, but honestly the more likely scenario is that you are not playing as well as you think. 120k hands is somewhat significant and it would probably be good to get some coaching or go over hands with a friend who is a winner in the same or similar games. It can be tough to spot your own leaks/mistakes, sometimes because you are too close to the situation to view things objectively and sometimes just because you don't realize that what you are doing is a mistake. gl turning it around.

Nice man, congrats on moving up like that successfully!! How much was the BR you started with and do you play on Bovada? What site do you use? I'm in a similar position to you last Feb.



Don't be depressed, dude it could be a lot worse. You have a good, skinny base, it will come back fast. Why are you cutting weight? Still doesn't look like you have a lot of fat, just need to get more size.


Mental game's so important man. Only thing on there I would want to keep is caffeine. Caffeine is a good stimulant for our minds when used in moderation.

Have you ever heard of Think and Grow Rich? Reading it will definitely improve your mental game. How much do you know about our conscious and subconscious minds and how they work? If you become aware of those and how powerful thoughts are I think that could help the mental game as well (if you are not already aware).

I like the chain method!

I'm in a similar place, where I played D2 college football, worked extremely hard to get big and a good body and stopped working out for a while and now working to get it back. My body's not terrible, just not where it should be and once was.

I have a pretty good workout plan you may like that got me pretty ripped, I can share with anybody interested, I paid for it. Just lmk, I'm going to start that plan again in about a month once I'm in better shape. Should post my body pic results too and I will in my thread.

GLGL and will be following, good to meet you man, I'm Shane.

Appreciate it man.

I really try to avoid the whole poker is rigged thing but man some of the stuff I've seen lately is just beyond gross. I've been playing mostly 100 zone and 200FR. I only got $3 back for whatever scandal happened at Bovada.

One thing that makes me weary is that I was crushing the games before the update, and since I've been getting cooler after cooler and set up after set up.

They changed it to a web based poker room, and I feel like it could be easy for them to alter probabilities of certain runouts to either help or hurt a player's hand. For example if I happen to have a straight, there could be some kind increased probability put on my account that the board will pair, and I think something like this would go completely unnoticed.

Web-based MMORPG's have coding such as this where probabilities of finding certain items can be increased or decreased.

I'm really trying to avoid this way of thinking, but at the same time, their best interest is to keep money with the players who play in the casino and sportsbook, and not in the hands of someone like me who does none of that and withdraws frequently.

Feel like I'm on the path to rigtard after typing that =/

Thanks for the words of wisdom man. I try to be objective as possible with my play, and the reason I'm quite confident that I'm playing well is because I run through every hand where I VPIP'd and saw a flop from the day before. If I find a questionable hand, I've got a couple friends I send it to. It's been vital for keeping my confidence in my game somewhat high, because honestly I don't think I could have kept grinding this many hands if I wasn't sure that I was just experiencing bad variance.

Hey Shane! I have read Think and Grow Rich. I think it's a great book. I also think Psycho Cybernetics is really good along those same lines.

I'm trying to work on incorporating positive thoughts when I'm really deep in meditation since the subconscious can be pretty impressionable at that level. However, I feel as if it might knock me out of that deep relaxation state, so I'm doing a bit of research on it!

Good luck to you with the poker and fitness as well man!

I appreciate it. From what I have studied, the best way to make impressions on the subconscious is to get into that meditative state and then visualize yourself accomplishing your goals. See the end result.

That's awesome that you have read those books. I've read Think and Grow Rich a couple times, in the process of reading it again, almost done. Read almost all of psycho-cybernetics as well.

If you like those books, I think you would like Power of Your Subconscious Mind by Joseph Murphy. Would highly recommend it, Power of Your Subconscious Mind is my favorite in self-development and I actually like Master Key to Riches better than Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, but they are both great.

I'm really fascinated with the subconscious mind, how our conscious thoughts impact it and how important it is to control our thoughts. And the Power of Your Subconscious Mind really brought all of the understanding to a whole new level for me.

For poker- what site do you play on? And how big of a BR did you start with, if you don't mind me asking. If you prefer not to say, no problem, can PM me as well, maybe we can talk more. Seems like we are in the same spot on how important the mental aspect of everything is, how important it is to work out because it brings our minds to higher vibrations and we both love poker, so ya, glgl, will stay in here and follow progress.

I'm pretty fascinated with anything to do with the mind as well.

I play on Bovada.. I started with a $500 BR last year.

My skype is jakeeck.. I'd love to chat more

Sounds good dude, I have to get back on skype. I'll PM you.

I posted this in the Bovada thread as well, but I wanted to see what some of you think if you don't check that thread.

I'm starting to question if anonymous zone is even very profitable.

"I've averaged a 7-8bb winrate in regular games from 50nl-200nl, but in 100nl zone I've had quite a different experience.

In the first 40k hands I was winning at 8bb/100. Over the past 80k hands my overall winrate has dropped to 1bb. So that's 120k hands at a 1bb winrate, and I'm starting to question what the actual profitability of these games are. Here are my arguments for why they are not very profitable, and I'd like to see if anyone can poke holes in these theories:

1. Rec players have stronger ranges due to the ability to quick fold. Even their limping ranges are strong. I've noticed we can't even iso them very wide because they call every time. Lots of limping premiums and AK as well. Of course it's anonymous so we have no idea who is doing this.

2. People nut peddle and rarely bluff. Again this is a result of people mostly playing strong ranges pre. It seems like we are just playing to hope and set over set each other or cooler each other. Basically trading money back and forth while our money drips through the table to rake, which may be offset by the occasional spew artist. (There are a lot more spew artists on Saturday nights, so that's one time where I'm confident the games are very profitable.)

3. Guys are starting to take ridiculous lines with strong value hands.. possibly trying to imitate fish and induce light calldowns or raises. Lots of guys are donking very strong ranges, so now what was once a line made by mostly fish is now a line made by regs with strong hands, and again with anonymous players we cannot adjust for this.

4. Getting 3bet: Due to the anonymous nature of the game, you cannot come up with 3bet calling ranges. Some guys only 3bet premiums (seriously, i see a lot of guys calling w/ AQ and that tier of hands in the blinds vs a BU/CO raise). Some guys will 3bet a polarized range, but you would never know it. This makes a world of difference when deciding whether or not you can call with a hand like JTs on the BU to a 3bet from the blinds. Are you up against the premium 3betting nit or the guy with a wider range? It's a guessing game.

Also, it's very rare to see someone GII pre w/o AA/KK unless it's a late position battle (still rare) or a fish.

Thoughts?"

Those are interesting thoughts. I have nothing to add because I only play on ACR right now. Do you play PLO at all? I'm going to start playing PLO on bovada. I was watching a twitch streamer play $500 PLO and it looked super soft on there.

PLO on ACR is a whole different ball game. Literally $10 PLO on ACR is tougher than the $500 PLO table I was watching the guy play at on bovada. I think there's some good money to be made in that department. I think I am going to play strictly PLO on bovada and everything on ACR.

I know how to play PLO, but I'm definitely not good at it lol. The variance in that game scares me :P

I have noticed the exact same thing and have since quit zone for this reason. People take bizarre lines, they never pay you off and when they do call its a set over set or other cooler situation. I've put in like 15k hands on zone and am basically break even at 100 NL. At regular 100 NL I'm crushing it at a 10 bb/100 win rate. Hell, even with a god awful downswing due to getting sucked out on a ton lately I'm still at 7 bb/100, so I can beat the game but zone is a different beast altogether.

As far as the web-based thing having different probabilities, I dunno, before they released the update last December I was just getting beaten left and right. Had AA cracked 4-5x and ran KK into AA over a dozen times in a row all in the span of a week...this was pre-update.

I think poker is just an evil, psychotic bitch who likes S&M.

Alright I'm finally feeling motivated enough to update this.

I stopped playing zone entirely and things have been getting better.

I'm now back to playing MTT's + cash. I buy in directly to all 22's and 33's and high value 44's and 55's. Then I try to satty some bigger buyins if the sattys have good structures.

Couple of recent scores:

$55 12k



$22 10k



Bubbled a few FT's this past week for some decent cashes. Last night I bubbled the FT of the $55 12k, unfortunately.

Cash is finally starting to go somewhat well lately.

As far as life goals are concerned, I've fallen out of the habit of just about everything except for hitting the gym and eating healthy (although I've been going to chick-fil-a too often these past couple weeks).

I still eat at least 2 cans of mackerel per day for the Omega 3s and general benefits of small wild caught fish (what I would consider part of the final frontier of healthy, natural food).

I'm kind of upset about discontinuing my meditation habit. I was going 45 mins a day for a solid 40 days, and then family came to visit and it knocked me out of my daily routine and I haven't gotten back into it for a couple weeks now.

That being said, it comes down to a matter of time management. When I'm playing MTT's I play at least 8 hours a day, so between gym, sleep and poker my time is pretty much occupied, and I need a little bit of leisure time to throw in there.

I find the best thing I can do for myself and general well-being is getting as much sleep as I need. I've been going to bed around 12-12:30 and waking up naturally to no alarm clock around 9-9:30.

I used to feel guilty about sleeping 9 hours and would limit myself to 7, but it really makes a big difference for me as far as energy throughout the day and mental sharpness. I'm feeling quite good these days.

I'll throw up a cash graph tomorrow once I get my hands from yesterday downloaded.

Gonna start updating this probably daily again. IDK why but it's a lot more fun and motivating for me to update this thread when I'm playing MTT's as opposed to only cash.

As far as making 100k this year, I've made about 5k by this point. I haven't calculated it to an exact amount out of embarrassment tbh. Setting a lofty goal like that and being so far away is definitely a hit to the ego. January to early March really killed me, but I'm finally starting to get some momentum again.

Got some big MTT's coming up with this Bovada series wrapping up and WPN starting their huge series. Gonna be fun this next couple weeks. I've still got room to add more tables at the beginning of my sessions where not many MTT's have popped off yet and the cash games are pretty dead, so I'm putting money back on WPN again. Considering Carbon as well once I increase my roll a little bit more.

Just gonna play the game to the best of my ability and see where the year takes me

Oh, also... I've quit caffeine and diet soda for the past 30 days now. Have had 0 caffeine. Energy and mood is a lot more stable. I admit the high from a cup of coffee in the morning is something I miss, but eventually that high fades to nothing and you pay the price someway or another. It is a drug after all. Basically a weak form of cocaine that has somehow become socially acceptable to consume in high amounts for very extended periods of time ($$$$). I really think it has something to do with the increasing rate of depression and social anxiety in our society.

Kids drink the stuff without considering any consequence (not that they should.. it's the parents' fault). Caffeine interferes with sleep and less than optimal sleep on a developing brain sounds like a recipe for cognitive disorders.

Just my theory, though.

/rant

The goal is there to push you and give you something to shoot and work towards. Nothing to feel embarrassed about if you are currently short of the benchmarks. Keep working hard, it's still early ish in the year and still achievable with a lot of hard work and some luck. Especially if you hit a nice tourney bink.

Oh and I'd def suggest staying away from carbon. Didn't have a great experience despite making a chunk of money on there, and hear the same from most. Maybe payouts have gotten better though.

Nice to see the update man. We should skype again soon! Gotta catch up soon.

Thanks dudes.. ^^ def gotta catch up

@Tyman

Cashouts are a lot better.. I was one of the people who had to wait 5-6 months for a check during that fiasco, but my latest one came in 3 weeks and they are handing out bitcoin withdraws now if you deposit with BTC.

subbed, gl

^^ Thanks man

Today's results



If the buyin says $0 that means I had a ticket for it. I'm going to count every satellite as a loss of $, but then I will make the buyin of the tournament that I use it on say $0 to keep it all accurate.

Pretty fun day.. had 2 deep runs with a lot of potential but just ran card dead near the end.

Spilled my flavored water all over my laptop keyboard at the beginning of my session

I wiped it up immediately, but a couple keys were acting up. I turned it off, wiped it down with alcohol and its now drying. Played on my desktop the rest of the day.

Hope I didn't ruin it.

After a couple weeks of very slight overall profit, I got one today



Was the $22 10k

Feels good not only for the cash, but to get the win

Ran quite deep in the $44 30k as well but lost a flip for chiplead at the end. Bummer but overall a good day.

best of luck mate

congrats on score!