Here's a few from when I was younger.

When I was a teenager I had gotten in trouble for something and had to come straight home after school. One day I didn't have any cigarettes and my mom asked me if I wanted to go to the grocery store with her. I said sure because I wanted to smoke. She wouldn't buy them for me and I wasn't old enough yet so I planned to steal some. Now back then they had the cigarettes up front by the registers just like they have gum and candy now. Instead of having a magazine rack on some of the registers they would have cartons and packs of cigarettes just sitting there. My mom got a shopping cart and went to get food while I milled around pretending to look at stuff waiting for an opportunity. There was another guy walking around too looking at stuff. I waited till no one was looking and grabbed a pack. I went and found my mom then we went through the checkout and were walking towards the front door. As we get to the exit the guy I had seen before comes up to me and asks me what I have in my pocket. It turns out he was security for the store and had been watching me. Now I knew that it wasn't that big of a deal getting caught stealing cigarettes, they were only a couple dollars. I had a bag of weed on me and I was much more concerned with him finding that. So I start taking everything out of my pockets, my keys and wallet etc. I palm the weed with one hand while handing him stuff with my other hand and then pretend to pull my pants up and slip the weed into the lining of my boxers without him noticing. With that out of the way I attempted the same trick with the pack of cigarettes. Turns out this was much tougher because how much bigger it was and I ended up dropping it on the floor. He grabs it and says that I was coming with him. He takes me and puts me in some back office and tells me the cops are on the way. So I'm sitting in the office by myself thinking if I should try and hide the weed somewhere before the cop shows up. I start to worry that there is a camera on me and maybe I should just gamble and hope he doesn't search me. The cop walks in with my mom. He asks me why I took the cigarettes and I told him because I wasn't old enough to buy them and my mom doesn't let me smoke. He gives me a trespassing warrant and says if I come back to the store I can be taken to jail. He lets me leave without searching me.

One night I was driving back to my place late at night after drinking and I stopped by a convenient store to get some cigarettes. I was on my cell phone arguing with Robin about something. As I go to walk in I see Pookie standing outside by the front door. This was the stabbing victim at the townhouse I had rented, he's semi-******ed. He asked me something but I was busy on the phone and didn't really pay much attention to him. The argument I was having got heated and I didn't wanna walk into the store so I went around the corner and sat down on some steps instead. After a little while I hear a police radio crackling and I look up to see a cop standing behind me. He tells me to hang up the phone and come with him. He walks me back to the front of the convenient store and I see another cop with Pookie putting him in a squad car in cuffs. The cop asks how I know him and I just say he's s friend of a friend and didn't mention the stabbing or anything. He asked what I was doing here and why I was around the corner on the phone. I told him I was arguing with my girlfriend and didn't wanna walk into the store yet. He tells me that Pookie had gone into the store wearing a mask and they suspect he was going to rob the place. The store employee described me and said he saw us talking to each other right before he came into the store and put the mask on. I explain that he had asked me something and I definitely didn't have anything to do with the robbery. He took my ID and told me to wait in my car. The other squad car leaves with Pookie in the back. The cop comes back, gives me my ID and tells me they are arresting him for wearing a mask in public and to drive home safe.

Hector used to take me to this place in the section 8 housing where they had dice games. The shooter would roll and everyone else would bet don't come and pass the dice when they crapped out. The players would give me even money bets on their point. Hector was the only one who would bet less frequently or smaller amounts when his point wasn't a 6 or an 8. I would always win and I think it got me even more action because they wanted to beat me so badly. People would roll a 5 and then bet 2x what they had bet on the pass just because they wanted to see me lose. If they ever beat the odds and I lost a big bet they would always celebrate and talk **** etc. Once I cleaned them out and the game was over they would hang around and drink cheap beer and they'd all be mad and jelly.

One day we went over there and I smoked some PCP with the owner of the house and hung out for a while drinking. There was a dice game and Hector was there. Once I had all the money and everyone quit I was in the living room counting it. Hector comes up to me and says we should leave because his friend that got stomped in the projects when I took them to go get weed that one day was coming over and he thought he was probably still salty. We head out the front door and he is walking down the sidewalk towards us. Hector tries talking to him but he lunges at me and gets me on the ground with his hands wrapped around my neck and says he's going to ****ing kill me. He's choking me and Hector is trying to pull him off me. He turns and punches Hector and that gives me time to get up and try to run. Hector bolts and he's able to grab my jacket before I can get away. We're both standing and he's whaling on me while still holding my jacket and gets in a ton of body shots. Eventually my jacket rips and I make a break for my car once I was free. I got away and don't remember feeling any pain because of the drugs. My adrenaline was pumping so hard when I got home I did push-ups and looked at myself in the mirror all bruised up and my neck was really red and had marks on it. I woke up the next day and was really sore and in bad shape.

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Two thoughts:

1) I have been reading threads on here forever. I cannot remember a time where I literally had to block everything else going on around me and binge read. Your stories are incredibly well written and so vivid, feel like I am there. Great stuff man. Only regret is that I did not start this sooner.

2) Keep kicking a$$. Like you, been playing since my teens and have seen a lot. The poker world might be inundated with the youngins, but instincts and wisdom certainly come in handy sometimes

Thanks

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Just found this thread and think it is fantastic. To say you have had a colorful life is an understatement.

^^this

Ty

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Those are some pretty big titties

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Strong prediction: $167,800 profits by end of the year at this pace.

I love this thread, keep up the great work!

Wbn, prob not too realistic based on my win rate tho

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Every time I see an Asian chick with big tits, I automatically assume they're fake.

So?

And they prob are

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Which is why we need more ass.

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great thread! hoping you finish out the year strong.

Thanks, me too

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Wow, killing it lately. Keep it up, great thread