Well played! Listen if that dance doesn't work maybe we could buy some sacrificial chickens or goats? One way or another we need to please the poker gods... and soon.

Hey thanks... we are closing on it next Wed. pretty excited and nervous at the same time. We have been renting that past 4 years so it will be nice to have our own place again. (I think). LOL

Needed a break from work so decided to run a session. Wasn't sure how long I was going to play but it was decided for me when my biggest losing hand happened. AA in SB folds to me I raise it up and get called. Flop comes 5h9cQc. I c-bet and get re-raised, I shove, villain tanks and finally calls. AA vs 9hTh. Turn is a Q and the river is a 9. 95% on Turn and villain gets the 2 outer on the River. This was my only significant losing hand for this session. Been trying to focus on keeping the losing hands to a min. of money lost. Pot control and such... also trying to fold when I have a strong hand but it's kind of obvious I'm beat. 2 pr. are my Nemesis.

So I was still up after this happen, I knew I didn't want to spend another 30 min. to an hour trying to grind that money back. I also wanted to book a winning session so I just played all my tables till BB came around. Ended up winning another .12 during this time... F&cking high roller!

Good news was that the beat had no effect on me... I was just upset that it didn't hold. I didn't get angry or p&ssed I just knew it was time to end the session and get back to work. Oh well... not sure but I really think the players that play when I normally play 8pm-11pm Eastern Time (give or take) are better than the players that play during the day. Not sure if that is true or not but it just kind of feels that way to me.

Anyways back to work:

0:57 hours @ 5-6 tables for 371 hands played w/ 9.97 BB/100

Interesting 2nd session. Thought I would get on and play a 30 min. session then get to bed early. I thought I had to get up super early to bring my daughter to the airport but as I'm playing she tells me the flight got cancelled. So I was like... well I don't have to get up so early now and I'm running well I will just keep playing until I start to slide backwards. So I was able to run another 40 min. or so more before I called it quits.

I was very close to tilt when I had 3 very good hands with action going on when my internet crashed. I can't remember the 1 hand but the other 2 hands were a set that I just put a bet out... so clearly I timed out and lost that hand. The other hand had 4 clubs on the board... and I was holding the J of clubs so the only card I had to fade was the K of clubs. Not sure if villain had it or not... again I timed out and lost the hand... So I was pretty upset that I missed out on all that action with decent hands. I kept telling myself to let it go... it's over and there is nothing you can do about... Then I get QQ a few hands later and I manage to stack off 2 players for about 1 1/2 buy-ins between them. Guess what... I was over the previous hands. LOL So I ran pretty hot for awhile and decided to call it a night when I lost a few small hands. Again I wanted to end the night with a winning session.

Oh I got quads again... I got paid this time which was nice. Can't think of much else that happen. I will say I do appreciate when the run good happens more now than ever. I know it won't last forever but when it's happening I'm taking full advantage of it.

1:11 hours played @ 6 tables for 544 hands played w/ 31.43 BB/100. Almost a 2 buy-in win. Been awhile.

I did my little poker gods dance for you no need to get those chickens or goats at the mo....

Yo how do you do that dance? I got quads 2 more times tonight. Much nicer being on the other end of those things.

Ran 2 sessions today. One while I waited for my daughter at jujitsu and the other one I just finished up. Both sessions I started out in the hole but was able to grind out wins. 1st session was very relaxed and not out of control. The 2nd session was an old wild west shoot out. Here is one hand that kind of set me back mentally right off the bat and it took me a little while to recover. The tables were just super aggressive during the 2nd session.
MP limps, BTN raises, I call from SB, BB & MP call. I have QQ
Flop comes 8s9c2c I check, BB check, MP bets, UTG folds, I call, BB shove all in, MP calls and I end up folding. I have to be behind right? Well BB turns over KcJc and MP has A2o. Turn is a 3h and the River was a 7s.

So I wasn't sure what to think after that hand. It took me a good 3 min. to get it out of my head and start focusing on the game again. I just wasn't sure what to think about that hand. TBH I think I will look it over again tomorrow when I'm not so tired so I can see what I think about it then.

Side thought... am I the only one who absolutely lusts the chick in the movie 5th Element? LOL She is so hot! Big fan of hers in the Resident Evil movies too.

Anyways both sessions:

3.08 hours @ 5-6 tables for 1,266 hands played w/ 16.75 BB/100. (2 full buy-ins, how exciting.) LOL

This is a closely guarded secret handed down from father to son over generations and initially discovered by the Pirate "Double Diamond Jack", however I am sure the poker gods are upset that I asked them to head your way and they are now punishing me... During yesterdays session I took the opposite approach too you and shoved QQ twice (the only times I had QQ) and both occasions it turns out I was facing KK... Needless to say I lost a full stack both times

I have 2 weeks away with the family starting tommorow so no poker for me, perhaps when I get back I shall be firmly planted in their good books again

LOL Double Diamond Jack the pirate...

Yeah I couldn't believe I was ahead on the flop. Granted that hand plays out differently if I make the call but I really thought I was behind for sure. This is what happens when you try to keep your losing hands to a min. in $ lost. I thought I was making the correct lay down and TBH I still think it's the right play with how that all played out on the Flop. OH well

Once I move into the new place I'll look into some chickens and goats. We are going to please these Gods till no end... You need a little run good!

Enjoy the time off and maybe the doom switch will reset itself by the time you get back.

Nothing like running ok most of the week only to give most of it back on the last day of the week. Good news: Lots of hands by my standards, +EV for the week, feel I played pretty emotionless (except yesterday) and even after yesterdays beating I feel pretty good about my game. Bad news: I'm feeling that even tho I'm a slight winner at 2NL at this time I just don't see this game ever being profitable for me. I'm barely beating 2NL so I assume I will be losing at 5NL. Luckily I enjoy just playing but it's hard to see a $3.00 profit after 10k hands. I'm not sure what is a realistic win rate... I know I've read 2-4 BB/100 is a good rate. After 2 months and almost 50k hands I'm at 3.86 BB/100. So I guess I'm a winning player at this point but I see others on here with massive winning graphs. I guess I just don't know how many players are losing players, how many players are in my range (barely winning) and how many players are actual decent winners. Funny if I broke even yesterday I wouldn't be questioning this right now. How was I winning way more $ earlier in this challenge and now I'm winning so little. I need a mentor who can walk me thru these things. I feel I'm basically learning by the sink or swim method. Guess I will figure it all out eventually... as long as the BR doesn't disappear.

Edit:
Week 8: (4/6-4/12)
Hands Played: 10,188 (Total: 47,025)
Money Won/Lost: $3.64
Current BR: $77.08

Edit thought: I guess if I can be a break even player I still make money with rakeback.

So here she is:

Have to go back and edit my a last post... Forgot to put weekly totals. But here is the graph from day 1 of the challenge (2 Months). Looking at it now I put in a huge amount of volume last week compared to the whole challenge. WOW way to go me!

For you graph lovers.

Things have been going meh for weeks now and after tonight's session I will be imposing a one week ban from playing. So I apologize to anyone who is following this. Probably be good to focus on my work and with the house closing this Wed. I won't be able to play much anyways.

I'm literally at my breaking point with the game and if it wasn't for this challenge I would prefer to go blow my BR so I can't play. But instead of doing that I will implement the ban instead. I lost 6 buy-ins today after being up 2 buy-ins before the f&cking ensued. The breaking point was when I ran head first into AA 4 times in less than 10 min. obv. I would show up with KK or QQ in those 4 situations. And clearly I couldn't suck out on any of them either. So there went 4-buy ins in 4 hands. I'm sure I spewed and tilted the other 4 buy-ins. Nothing like a 8 buy-in swing. I'm really good.

Sadly I have to admit I do not have the mental capacity to play this game everyday as well as the mental capacity be able to deal with losing. Game is making me feel like I'm f&cking bi-polar.

Oh well.

3:42 hours @ 6-7 tables for 1,668 hands played w/ -38.10 BB/100. Proud!

okay if its too harsh on ur mental no sense in playing. way more engrossing hobbies that wont cause stress poker is not for all and the swings can make anyone fume. best of luck to you jaecubed.

Some thoughts:

Challenge has been going on for 2 months and this is what I think I see. I feel I was having more winning session around the 1/4 to 1/2 way point and now I'm having more losing session from the 1/2 way mark to now. So what has changed. Not really being a cash game player (and def. not one for this extent of time) this is all new to me so I'm assuming I've hit some variance along the way (whatever that is). My playing style has changed from being afraid to go all in unless I have the nuts to going all in when I think I have the nuts. I think I was more cautious compared to now. I was focusing more on just having winning session regardless of the small amount won. Now I feel I'm trying to hit more home runs in hopes of having a bigger winning session. Part of me feels I've learned a lot about the game since I started this challenge but while learning this stuff I think maybe I'm not implementing things correctly... I'm not understanding them correctly or these things I've learned really don't apply at the 2NL level for the most part. I have said it before and I will say it again this would be easier if I had IRL poker friends to bounce things off with. I'm really trying to figure out what has changed... I refuse to believe it's strictly variance. I'm not that person that thinks I only play good poker and it just has to be bad luck. Honestly I feel I'm the main cause of whatever is going on. Now with all that said I guess this is just how poker is and this is what they mean by poker swings will happen and you need to be mentally tough to deal with them. Clearly this is the hardest part of poker for me.

Another thing I've notice which clearly effect me is that the amount lost in one session is always more than amounts won is a session. Last night I lost 6-buy-ins (shame on me for not stopping @ 4 like I said I would). Clearly I lost control before I was able to stop myself... but it took me 2 buy-ins before I got control. So now I'm down $12 to start the week and if I'm lucky I might be able to get that all back by the end of the week. So I lose 6 buy-ins but I've yet to have a winning session where I won 6-buy-ins. So this tells me I need to have more control and I'm missing something in my game. Probably a lot of somethings.

I think I need to go back to being happy with just having a winning session even if it's only $0.45. I think I need to stop swinging for the fences and getting it all in early. I think I also need to stop thinking in terms of money. I said this before I need to make my focus on hands and not $. I think I've gotten away from that. Obviously I want to be a winning player and I need to be a winning player if I'm going to reach 1 million hands without busting. The challenge has kept me accountable by not tilting my BR away.. God knows I've probably had 2 or 3 times where I wanted to but I didn't want to come to this thread and let everyone know I did it again... But I need to step back and realize what kind of player I am and stop letting my pride get in the way. I feel I'm trying to prove I'm a good player when I'm just a break even player trying to get better.

Final thoughts... I think I need to REALLY focus and STAY focused on the game plan. I find I start out doing just this but as the session goes on I get away from that game plan. I think I need to cut my session time down a little... I notice the longer session are usually the losing sessions. I'll have to come up with a game plan for that. I think I need to maybe not post to the thread after a losing session so I'm not so emotional. I have worked on trying not to complain about bad beats and losing sessions in general. It's a fine line between discussing a losing session and b&tching about a losing session. But know I'm trying.

So I apologize for these type of posts but this is where I go when I'm thinking about my game and it allows me to put my thoughts on "paper".

Have to say I appreciate no one trashing me in the tread so far. All the comment so far have been anything but that so thank you!

Thank you sir... maybe I should just stick to Rocket League... nah... that p&sses me off just as bad and the kids on there are actually meaner to me than the players at the poker table. I've been called trash and noob more times than I can count... Guess that's what I get for being 46 years old playing against 12 year olds. Little f&ckers have no respect for their elders.

I think it's pretty obvious I'm struggling with the mental aspect of this game. I'll either learn how to deal with it, blow my BR or lose my mind trying to learn to deal with it.

Thanks for your post!

Not sure if I will be able to finish this post as the shakes are so bad right now from not playing for 2 days. The withdraw is brutal and I need my fix. Actually I haven't missed it at all so far. I have been so busy with my work trying to reach a deadline for today that I haven't even had time to think about it. I managed to get it done on time but barely.

Had a bit of a scare today with the closing coming Wed. I got my closing costs for Wed. signing. I was a little confused at what I was looking at and I thought I was still responsible for $7800 more that I DO NOT HAVE. I was in panic mode for about 5 min. before getting a call back from the lawyer. Thankfully that $7800 was included in the total closing cost. Phew!!!! Just writing about it is getting my heart racing again.

So I decided to take a look at last Sat. session and TBH I was sure I was going to find that most of my big losing hands were from tilt. Out of 8 of my biggest losers:
2 were played bad. (again 1 of those hands was A9s) why do I keep playing these type of hands.
3 were hands that I went up against AA (not 4 like I said before). 2 of these I played well and was losing my full stack no mater how I played them but 1 I could have lost a little less by playing it better.
3 where just unlucky hands where I was ahead until river.
With all this said I can clearly see how I went down hill from these hands. The AA vs my premium hands sucked but looking back I can't believe the hands I had vs villains and for them to win by river was brutal. I can totally see that this was p&ssing me off more than I thought... just reviewing them I can't believe the hands they had and how lucky they got with the flops... So after getting stacked by most of these hand I know I spewed a bunch of smaller pots by opening wider and calling down and just plain playing poorly. OMG I just need to stop sooner when this sh&t is happening. WOW if I could just get better at this I would be such a better player... I could have easily save 2-buy-ins if I left sooner... not to mention I didn't stop playing when I reached my 4-buy-ins lost.

So I think my main focus at this time is to pay attention to how I'm really feeling at curtain times thru-out a session. I feel I blank out and I'm like "go f&ck yourself, I'm not leaving yet!" I think it's my Polish temper... I also think I'm going to stop trying to go for the kill as quickly as I have been.

I have a lot of work to do in order to make up 6 buy-ins. Esp. when I rarely win a full buy-in during a session. LOL I'm f&cked.

Ok think I've rambled enough.

I did say that yesterday correct? I must have written it but not meant is.

Hand 21 of session: KK in SB, BTN raises, I re-raise, BTN shoves, I call. Ok well so much for not going for the kill... but are we really folding KK here? I'm not... Anyways it's KK vs 88 good call us... flop comes 8 , T4, Turn 4 and river 6 . well 21 hands into my first session and I'm already stacked...

Hand 25 of session: JJ in SB, MP raises, I re-raise, MP calls. Flop comes JAT all hearts. I bet MP shoves all in and I call. So its JJ vs A2s (diamonds). Turn is a 2 and the River is a 4. So 25 hands into my first session and we are back to even.

So hand 1 I go all in when I should have and lose and hand 2 I go all in when I shouldn't have and win.

But as you can see hand 2 is probably played way too aggressive and in the moment I wasn't folding it... I have to assume this is a leak unless I have a clear read on villain. After this hand I reminded myself that I was going to take it easy. I did make some decent lay downs later in the session. It was hard but I think they were the right plays.

So I know I said I was going to stop for a week but that just feels like I'm being a quitter. I took time off and was feeling good mentally so I decided to play. I also decided it was going to be a short session and I was only going to play 4 tables. I wanted to play for fun and not have it feel like a job, which is what it had been feeling like. I went in with the mindset that I wasn't trying to win huge... I went in with my old saying... stay afloat until the big hand comes. That never really happen with the exception of the 2 hands I mentioned. Everything else was just small poker... 4 tables was enjoyable and I was able to focus on things I can't focus on when playing 6. Anyways I actually enjoyed the session... I got a few hands in and I managed to end the night above the even line. All in all I was pleased with the session. Plus I wanted to give you guys something poker related to read.

Ok so for those aren't into the 5th Element chick I have another one for you.. she is the blonde in the movie Chernobyl Diaries. Super pretty face with a little extra meat on her bones. Man she is cute. This is what I do... I put on movies for back ground noise and play poker... and sneak a peak at the girls...

Ok need to eat.

1:34 hours @ 4 tables for 496 hands played w/ 6.05 BB/100.

Wheels are coming off the tracks... But that's ok because I'm taking losing to a whole new mental level. lol Whatever that means.

Have to leave soon so will give short version. Played 5NL last night and lost 2 big hands so we are down another 8 buy-ins for 2NL anyways. It's a train wreck people... we knew it was coming... just a matter of when. But surprisingly I'm not in a mood about it. LOL

The end of the night came when I was all in on the turn against 2 other people. We make this hand we have a totally different night but we didn't get there and so we are down. On the turn I catch an open ended str8 drawing as well as a flush draw (hearts). So I have 17 outs that improve my hand. We are up against KK and AQs. AQs somehow gets a diamond flush... not right, I only needed one more heart while he needed 2 diamonds... I think flushes should be taken out of the game... I decided to call it a night after that hand.

Anyways we close on the house today so not sure how much poker is going to get played from her on out. I'm really not running well, and moving up to 5NL was a wise decision when not running well so I'll be back down to 2NL when I do play. Might try to get some hands in before the closing but we will see.

3:07 hours @ 4 tables for 1,072 hands played w/ -41.21 BB/100 (Played 2 sessions yesterday).

Yes I still have a BR (for now). Closed on the house Wed. so I have been busy as hell. Obviously work has picked up as well so between working all day and working all night I have had zero time to play poker. Probably a good thing as I have been playing sub par poker lately. I have a feeling I won't have much time for awhile to play. If I do get to play it will probably only be for a short time while taking a break. I guess we will see. I just wanted to let those who might be following this know that I haven't quit or lost my BR or just disappeared. Trust me if I tilt it away I will be letting everyone know (shame helps keep me centered).

Heading out the door shortly to spend the day ripping sh&t apart.

I will post the weeks graph and stats at some point... man it's going to be ugly.

Last session:
0 hours @ 0 tables for 0 hands played w/ 0 BB/100.

So I have been super busy with the house and work and I'm glad this happen because looking at the final week I played I clearly was losing my mind. Down almost $30... Jesus Christ... maniac. The break has done me some good. I haven't really missed playing. I did just play a quick session as I had a few minute to kill. Have to admit it felt good. LOL Funny how I can not miss it but still really enjoy it.

Anyways my day consists of me getting up early and working on my work... stop around noon and work at the new place until sun down... then come home and work on my work for another hour or so and then off to bed. Been doing that for a full week straight. I'm sore and exhausted but the more I'm at the new place the more I'm liking it. I can't wait to be out of the old place and into the new one. End of next month is the plan. So for now it's work, work, work. I don't see much poker in my future but I will post updates when I do play... I'd like to keep this post somewhat relevant until I can start putting more time into the challenge.

Sorry to those who followed along with daily updates. When I get a min. I will post a few pics of the farm. Hope everyone is running well and I'll be back shortly.

Here is the ugly.

Week 8: (4/13-4/19)
Hands Played: 3,413 (Total: 50,438)
Money Won/Lost: $-29.23
Current BR: $47.85 (just about back to starting BR) PuKe!

Had a whooping 20 min. to play so here is the session. I got stacked with my AK vs A5.. Board ran 5J2, 6, 4.

Had a nice winner with QJs vs A2o... flop was 999 turn was a Q and river was a J. Stacked the guy on river which felt good.

Only other hand was AQo vs AKo Flop came JAQ rainbow, turn was a J (got it all in here) and river was a 3. Nice to be on the other end of an AK hand that loses. LOL

So that is it... 20 min and 50 hands... crushing it...

Gotta run...

0:19 hours @ 3 tables for 50 hands played w/ 186.00 BB/100. Kind of miss this.

So I thought I would play a little while sitting back and relaxing but I just wasn't feeling it. I'm way too tired and all I want to do is go to bed. So it was a really quick session. I did flop a 4 of a kind but made min. money on the hand. Other than that not much happen but I only played 85 hands so wouldn't expect too much. I tried... just don't have it in me right now...

0:23 hours @ 3 tables for 85 hands played w/ 26.47 BB/100.

Figured I would post a pic of what was once a pile of rocks in the yard. I broke the pile down and then made a fire pit. Isn't really a priority but had my father-in-law over and thought it would be a good project for us to work on. I will provide more pics as we do things but you can see grape vine and the 1 acre pond in the back ground. Not a bad fire pit for never doing one before not to mention it didn't cost me a penny. LOL Inside diameter is 6' so it's a pretty decent size pit.

On a poker note I was able to play a little before I got too tired and needed to stop. I was able to get a few more hands in than the past few sessions but still nothing great. It is what it is I guess. Only real hand I can remember was when I had JJ. Pre flop CO raises .04, I re-raise to .12 BB calls and CO calls. Flop 9d, Ad, Tc. BB checks, CO bets I call and BB calls. Turn comes Jh. BB check CO bets I call BB folds. River is a 6c. CO shoves all in and I make the call. Villain had AQo. Not sure how I feel about this hand. It kind of felt like he had Ax but very easily could have had KQ as well. Esp. with the stupid min raise pre flop. I gambled and got lucky.

Anyways:
1:31 hours @ 3-4 tables for 378 hands played w/ 38:49 BB/100.

Before and after:

Had some time to play and was doing very well before I got my nuts crushed. I was up 2 buy-ins at this point. If this hand holds I would have been up another full buy-ins. I had AA vs KQ and the flop comes TK7 turn is a K and River is a T. WTF.

18 hands later I get AA again. Only saving grace here is the ****** only had .55. Flop comes K5T and I get him all in on the flop. Turn is a 5 and river is a 2. F&cking moron has 53o.

So clearly I should be folding AA preflop.

Could have been up almost 4 buy-ins which would have been a very nice session. Instead I shut the games down after the AA vs 53o and I'm up just over a full buy-in and now I'm pissed off. God forbid I actually have a really good session. Whatever... I guess... I'm too tired to really give that much of a f&ck.

1:18 hours @ 4 tables for 426 hands played w/ 16.20 BB/100.

Mental note to self... next time you think you have a "cool" idea... don't do it. Not that my idea was really that cool but I was in the middle of something and decided I would play 100 hands. I really didn't have time to play much so I figured 100 hands was a nice round number that could be done pretty quickly... and what could really happen in 100 hands? LOL Bad idea.

3 hands right off the rip put me down and with only 100 hands it wasn't likely I was going to get a winning session.

Lets see we had QQ vs AJ board only ran out a nice full house for villain. Aces full of jacks... how nice.

Next hand was AJ vs TJ flop is 633 Turn is a T and River is a J. Luckily my "value bet" on the river didn't get re-raised. LOL

3rd hand we have TT vs QQ... Not sure how I only lose .21 on this hand but I tried taking the pot on the river... he didn't buy a flush or pr Aces... Flop was 6d7d9h Turn is 4d and River was Ac.

Took me about 80 hands but I did get back a decent chunk vs villain who had AJ in the first hand. He tried bluffing when I had top pr. WOOT!

I think I will try this again just so I can get some poker in and have something to write about. I miss playing and updating the challenge but I've been way too busy with work and the house. As it is I'm going to head over to the place to put down flooring so I need to wrap this up.

0:24 hours @ 3 tables for 99 hands played w/ -42.93 BB/100. I'll take it seeings I was down much further early in the session.

Loving the firepit! nice little project... I can see you sitting around the fire with a bottle of beer muttering to yourself about the perils of AA preflop.... Hope the house is going well and you are enjoying