I did it. I used up my miles on a one-way ticket to Mexico. I have luck-boxed into a domicile until I fawk it up. I am able to freelance write for cash and I am getting really good at Napping.

I do not want to start dumping cash into an account and wonder why I can never win. I want to do it the hard way. Freerolls. I am one dollar cheaper than Jesus!

This will mostly be about trying not to be a typical gringo idiot down here and when there is interesting poker content I will post it. I start teaching English for not to much money on March 29th. I will try to live on that money and post the results here to show the way to anyone who wonders what it is really like to live in the barrio.

My go to phrases so far are "los ciento" (i'm sorry) and "con Perdito" (im lost)

There's a great translator on the web for free where I learned the words for "I am a wizard and I will sex the souls of all of your ancestors and family for eternity"

I hear that witchcraft is nothing to joke about, and maybe that buys me some time, maybe it gets me killed, at least I wont be kidnapped for long if it comes to that. The guy who hired me in the school says it is a very real threat. But crap, I am 50, I played rugby for 25 years, I am not afraid to die, "QUE PROBLEMA, PUTO?" "tu Ballair muchacho?" "vamanos"

Will this be the shortest thread ever?

What are those Mexican cops doing at my door, and why are there so many of them?

day 1 of the grind
feelin fine

then FL Razz freeroll rapes my soul

an Indian named "Mannish tequila" *sp

will not let me raise every hand and take the blinds like he should. This makes Razz a lot tougher, maybe tomorrow i will get the ideal situation.

thread saver (o) (O) (who can resist lopsided boobies?)

anyway, back to the drawing board, one day in and I can't crack it. Maybe I am overconfident.

These russians and ukranians are playing a different kind of poker than I am used to....

100 k seems so far away

but when that fateful birthday comes you can all be happy never to have to read my drivel again.

I saw four of those long tailed starlings, the ones that are so effin loud in Vegas with their crackling noises and chattering wood on wood sounds and high screeches. Today four of the buggers were sitting on a railing on top of a house as the sun came up, light orange clouds reflecting and predicting the coming furnace of a day(it ain't cool down here, not cool at all...)

Anyway all four had their beaks pointed straight up to the heavens, i was hoping that they were looking at a UFO or an AZTEC god but there was nothing there in the sky except those purty clouds. So today was not the day i was to star in a sci fi movie, o well.

DAy 2 cliffs, NO ufos, no mexican tourist kidnapping gang, (but i was wearing a wife beater and compared to the population of 4 foot tall Mayans, I look like Andre the Giant.

Now that i think of it, birds eyes are on the side,

they were staring each other down and preening in some kind of ruffled feather avian junk measuring contest....

one week in and still stuck playing godawful freerolls on pokerstars, getting to round 2'and losing to quads and stuff..

i found 888 and turned 2 dollars cash into 16 before the river filled dude up and he value bet me out of three and change more after i potted the flop and turn...

omaha i missed you

you are a beautiful, brutal beeee yotch

i am scouting out all the freerolls and regaining my sense of wonder at lifes mysteries

it is amazing that some of these people can figure out how to operate a computer

162 left in the free roll and 3k 1.5 antes i wake up utg with 10 10 and ram it in there, snapped off by AQ sooted and the lady cums on the river....gg me..117th place paid .01 cent,

i could have folded to that spot i think, and chainsawed my way up the cash stream, but i have my pride.....

bonus whoring on a new site each day and running out of them, i guess i need 2 hit and run when the bankroll hits DOUBLE FIGURES but my DNA is resistant to to that and the players at .03-.06 are not making me scratch my old cranium one bit, shaking off the rust, rediscovering my inner scotsman.


found some stuff for 18 pesos (about 1.50-ish u$D) a bottle, "our warriors battle Cane Spirits Bottle PET: Imperial huasteco"

25 proof, distilled from canse spirits, great in a glass with fresh squeezed oj...15 pesos for a litre bag at the corner fruit store....

penny for penny the BEST alcohol value that i have found in the world.....


to forget my troubles after losing my teaching job in the hood i used to enjoy a can or two of 16 oz tall boy of steel reserve (9%) with a nyquil (.75)

you go down like a redwood if you take both pills and try to drink THREE of the things... probly not the best thing for your liver tho........

i was macking on an old broad who remembered the 68 olympics in mexico city where she lived for 30 years, ten in london, owned 8 restaurants, is very well maintained but the teats have no life anymore, no lift... but i still think shes sexy as hell with fine network of creamy lines and curvy stature and funny accent..... maybe she will want to ride the harry express someday if i play my norte americano machismo symphony for her....

102 today, as great place to post up and hide from the heat doing freerolls and some freelance writing.... i have been known to use capitals and punctuation if there is money in it........

more later, loving life, looking forward to jumping in one of these underground caves they call cenotes and talking to the local brujo(wizard) about ayuhansca.....

well i found a way to get $$$ on stars and the good news is I can now play more Depositors freerolls.

The bad news is omaha zoom is CRACK to my brains.... The only way I can make a nice pile for me is the old fashioned way, nut peddling in the old fashioned way at smaller buy ins, slow and steady.

but zoom will always be there.....

So I tried to stake a couple of fellows who wanted money to play in MTT packages and I must be some sort of MUSH because against all odds they LOST money, dudes with 54% ROI across all levels...

dudes that walk the walk and talk the talk better are still that foul bitch goddess variances playthings.....

So it's back to the drawing board NO MORE money cards bought from mexican 7-11's that are impossible to return! THEY GOT ME!

I see it as a sign from above that I was not meant to hunch over a keyboard and eke out a small living battling the electronic hum in my brain that comes after a couple hours on the computational porn machine....

TIME TO GO FISHING AND SMELL THE SEA AIR AND DRINK THE cane sugar moonshine stuff and frolic in the surf a gringo whale on the beach among the lilliputian mayans of the yuccatan!

as a peddler of putrid posts i pologize profusely 2 the reading public

I "GET" that you don't "GET" me yet...

its copacetic yo...

i am filled with self knowledge, which has slowly replaced the self loathing that i was taught to fell by creeps like the teenage turds at BBV.
Onanists inhabiting their mum's basement while crowing about what a "genius" Howard Stern is for glorifying their favorite passtime. Sticky fingered self stimulators cowering in the dark like the toglodytes they are.

i get to a point in these free rolls where its time to win them... bubble time.... and its time for the coin-flips to happen....

one day they will come up right and I will be out of this troll hole

if you want this boys soul you gotta pay the troll toll

Good luck with your quest

had some bad luck with a pay safe card, the locals really are into sticking it to the gringos at each and every opportunity
something about california and the alamo or something in muttered rapid fire spanish
the lingo of the conquerer
mayan is the language of the land
that and scorching heat
looking fwd to the mosquitos and rainy season
should be a fine hurricane season
does this globe seem warm to you?

so i deposited once and ran smack into the crack that is ZOOOOM omaha

me and old fashioned omaha have a pre bf history
we were BFF's
4 tabling, zooming before zoom was a spem in a programmers sack, a gleam in the eye
the plan then was always the same
go to happy hour after my teaching job ended
try to forget about how horrible teaching in an inner-city school can be...


forget the day filled with grand and petty humiliations,
and focus on the summer
focus on the beach
focus on getting out of the dada-esque torment

clocks were melting everywhere
(wrong painter, i know)


forget and focus
forget and focus
a great poker mantra
a great life mantra

so i would buy myself glasses of liquid amnesia and hit up pokerstars with my atm
25 dollars a pop
fun money
omahahaha being the joke that it was and is when you have 5 bucks on the line
its easy to call down a two dollar re-raaise with garbage

if i ran thru 5 buy ins, there was always tomorrow
but generally in those days there were a lot of pre-flop all ins, multi way
so soon youd be looking at 3-5 .12-.25 buyins
and climbing the ladder and stacking checks and breaking necks
checks that would come to your door!

checks with commas!
the only problem was my internet would go out from time to time three hours into a tourney and if i ran to the coffee shop at 2 am some times they left the server on and i could get back on in time to see the last of my stack all small like....

anyway, zoom triggered some years old memories of jamming and ramming and soon i was back on the streets of mexico
walking to the OxxO
to buy another 250 peso paysafe card = 17.61 $

the stop loss on paysafe's was 17.61
they have higher denominations, but trust no one, especially not in a country where the lingo is elusive

i am reduced to pointing, pantomime, and frustration
maybe today is the day i learn better spanish.....

so long story short, i qualify for new free rolls
and i had a 4.71 cent bink, which evaporated
and then the next day 10 bucks shows up in my account
and i bin treating it like the 125 pesos it is

125 pesos goes far here
10 pesos gets you a great breakfast
14 pesos gets you drunk
so zooming and zooming to micro grind a buy in
yesterdays 2 dollar 5 card omaha was incredibly STRATEGIC!

the roll is growing
i mis-clicked a hand full of clubs while trying to play cards like a YUCATECCAN BOSS
in my hammock
i was adjusting my position and accidentally called a nine dollar pre-flop all in which only means AA at zoom .5-.10 O8
but this time it didn't
and now i have trebled my 10

now that's a lot of tacos!

playing cheap sats to GTD events seems like the way to go crazy or genius
more later

forget and focus
forget and focus

new BR standard...
40$ is when i play 1 buck omaha plo or nl08 with the intention of firing up to 5 bullets a day playing snug as nuts on the first buy in

snuggly wuggly nut peddling action
let the lithuanians try and bluff me when i have it!

this way i grind the FPPs out to quality for FPP sats to omaha 5.50 at 15 FPP a pop
then i play the way you play when you are FREEROLLING!
no fear no sir
fit or forget
focus on forgetting

then with buy in number 2 i will play assertive plo and just try to double up
with buy in number 3 its assertive NL o8

if i lose three dollars i will go to the gym
theres always a privelige free roll going....

theres always the bankroll mob

I WILL PUNISH MYSELF BY PLAYING FREEROLLS

i have a modest daily nut that i can grind out easily on .05-.10 if i hit a flop or two
and stay patient

i have a strategy
ill share it with you by pm if anybody reads this thing

http://www.boomplayer.com/en/poker-h...052_86F78EF349

http://www.boomplayer.com/en/poker-h...580_EDBE7FBB8D

6th in chips

reboot

lost discipline and found a way to move cash from paypal to stars

now, truly broke and out of VPPS i had to hi a bankroll mob free roll twice for .06 cents both times....

played a .02 cent hyper....

PUT MY ROLL ON THE TABLE all .10 cents...

min cashed again for .24
rolling!


getting exciting!!! my AJ all in FTA HOLDS vs CL's 77
3 of 16!
5 of 10 hand for hand .51 or .61 i fold kj from sb vs CL who is a calling machine with 5 7 off

Final table 7th in chips......
so close to a dollar cash i can taste it...

push a2 from sb and dude wakes up with QQ o well... playing to win....

grew the dollar to five playing zoom and got greedy and busted again....
but someone i staked sent me some $$$ on stars so i qualified for the privilege free rolls

so i try them 3-4 x a day
and the bankroll mob ones on Stars and tile
and the tilt freerolls
something has to hit soon
ridiculous beats
set up hands
rich flops that hit EVERYONE
lol variance
lol sample size
lol freerolls
even a broken clock is right twice a day
i just need my one time a few times....

only skimmed your thread. Are you actually in mexico? if so what part? I am in Guadalajara.

in merida in the yucatan life is great here

ROLL ON THE TABLE

cashed twice today .o5 from bankroll mob and .45 from privelege

opening bottle of tequilla i got marked down to 39 pesos
with he exchamge rate that means the fire water is .....



one bink one time hiccup!

someone sent me 6 bucks im cheating<object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://fpdownload.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=10,0,0,0" width="640" height="421" id="handplayer-10137619-9A2B9054DA" align="top"><param name="wmode" value="transparent" /><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="movie" value="http://cdn.boomplayer.com/replayer/_swf/rit/hr_v3.swf" /><param name="menu" value="false" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="FlashVars" value="configUrl=http://www.boomplayer.com/replayer/config/PS/boomBlackExt_640x421.xml&textConfigUrl=http://www.boomplayer.com/replayer/messages/actions_en.xml&pCodePath=http://www.boomplayer.com/repository/pCode/0/10/137/10137619_9A2B9054DA.xml&showOddscalc=0&showControl s=1&showLog=1&showActiveButtons=0&title_id=2&lang= en&gameEntity=1&playerMode=hrp&boomHandLink=http://www.boomplayer.com/en/poker-hands/Boom/10137619_9A2B9054DA"/><embed src="http://cdn.boomplayer.com/replayer/_swf/rit/hr_v3.swf" FlashVars="configUrl=http://www.boomplayer.com/replayer/config/PS/boomBlackExt_640x421.xml&textConfigUrl=http://www.boomplayer.com/replayer/messages/actions_en.xml&pCodePath=http://www.boomplayer.com/repository/pCode/0/10/137/10137619_9A2B9054DA.xml&showOddscalc=0&showControl s=1&showLog=1&showActiveButtons=0&title_id=2&lang= en&gameEntity=1&playerMode=hrp&boomHandLink=http://www.boomplayer.com/en/poker-hands/Boom/10137619_9A2B9054DA" menu="false" wmode="transparent" quality="high" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" width="640" height="421" name="handplayer-10137619-9A2B9054DA" align="top" allowScriptAccess="always" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" /></object>

http://www.boomplayer.com/en/poker-h...796_EFCFD63F36

thats better

Itm w 10s v Js PFAI
ended the dream of the 3600 buck one dollar rebuy 4 k gtd

the other buck i payed was this one
PokerStars Tournament #942958324, HORSE
Buy-In: $1.00/$0.10 USD
30 players
Total Prize Pool: $30.00 USD
Tournament started 2014/07/31 21:10:00 ET


Dear AztecHarry,

You finished the tournament in 2nd place. A USD 10.05 award has been credited to your Real Money account.

i might become a one dollar tournament grinder... thats two in a row
i had a streak of five straight cashes in .10 anr .50 tournies but
THEY WERE ALL VERY CHAINSAW-ISH AFFAIRS
min cash for the sexy banter with the cashier who says congratulations when she sees you have a cash out
then she tries to remain enthusiastic during the cash out as she does the math in her head about what your hourly win rate is, less expenses...

onward