So I just served the first weekend of my twenty six weekend sentence in county lock up. As an aside, the judge was a serious “tool”, for lack of a better term. Albeit this was my 9nth non-alcohol related DUI. I paid the man for his fence in full as well as the damage to his yard. Nobody was hurt in the incident. On the plus side this has provided me with the opportunity to turn lemons into lemonade courtesy of access to a rather unique poker game.

The game played is a variant of no-limit Texas Hold’em where only the big blind can raise pre-flop. It’s quite rare that the big blind does so and as a result just about every pot is a family affair. The game is a $2 freeze out where unlimited re-entries are permitted.

There are several regs who may have exploitable tells. The first reg stands and raps throughout the entire session. During the course of some hands he raps louder and angrier while during others he seems more removed, more in his own world. I don’t want to have to pay a half buy-in (or more) to figure this out. The manner in which he raps has got to be a tell, right? The question is, is this more likely to be a straight forward situation or is this perhaps a reverse tell. In other words, does Villain most likely to rap loud and angry when he wants a fold or is it a matter of strong hand equates to strong/angry demeanor?

The other reg in question perpetually screams “White flour! White flour!” while periodically interspersing “You can’t make white bread without…… WHITE FLOUR!”. He also screams “Show us your face!” as every flop is being dealt but I don’t think that there’s a tell there to be interpreted. The question is, does the frequency and volume of “White flour!” correlate to a tell or reverse tell?

Pops may be 60 but he's a shark of this game. One hand there were 9 limpers and it got to me in the blind with 93s which is kind of tricky, I mean to me that's a real sick spot to just pop it. So I went into the tank then saw Pops getting up out of the corner of my eye. Now I should mention that most weekends he tries to get me to pay him for a haircut. Sure enough just as I'm shielding my face with my orange jumpsuit and cutting out my raise he says "this cut ain't gonna wait, boy" and walks over with an electric razor. Am I right this has to be him not wanting to pay another $0.10 to see a flop (none of us are rich or anything) ... or could this also be a reverse tell with a hand like two red cowboys?

Any feedback would be very much appreciated. Believe it or not I actually have to pay $50 per weekend. Also, as the food is abysmal I tend to heavily rely on the vending machines. My goal is to make enough money that despite the aforementioned expenses I can leave jail every Sunday with more money than I had when I came in. The average hand lasts roughly 12 minutes, maybe more. I’d say 10 minutes with Pops away from the table and 15 minutes with him in the game. Is my goal feasible?

I think you bent over to pick up the soap in the shower a few times too many.

I'll be honest. I just had to see what the other 4 posts were. Was not disappointed.

It's the return of Tworooks guys.

Doesn't sound like you're in a jail, but rather in the cuckoo's nest.

Nobody can tell you what another person's tells mean unless they've played with that person enough to decipher them.

As an aside, what's a non-alcohol related DUI and if you've had 9 of them what did the judge do to make you think he's a tool because certainly the leniency of your sentence isn't it?

A non-alcohol related DUI refers to some crap about me driving under the influence of drugs. Not only did the judge give me an unnecessarily harsh sentence but he said mean things about me. There were references to me being irresponsible, being an imminent danger and so on and so forth. What a tool!

im lost

This has to be a level.

It's not that harsh, you're only locked up during the weekends. You can still drive around during the weekdays.

I think you may be misreading their intentions, White Flower. You're about to get bred.

It sounds like white flower is about to get deflowered.

over/under on lock?

And there's where it gets truly twisted. My license is suspended but I have a car. The judge is having me go to Narcotics Anonymous (the best place to score narcotics) yet they drug test me every weekend.

A violation of my probation means a year behind bars. I'm being totally set up to fail.

As a side note, I feel that comments are getting way off topic here. Would these tells possibly be covered by Caro?

This is a poker forum so I was hoping that we could have a serious discussion about the game, how to interpret tells and strategy.

I played heads up in prison once, he went all in on the flop.

The louder the rapping the weaker the hand. LDO.

I will be following this thread!

I know OP and can confirm he has been spending weekends in jail for a DUI.

In terms of the questions. Generally strong means weak; I'd weaken his range if he's singing louder, and for him to be quieter when he actually had a hand.

I have no idea though why 93s would be a "real sick spot to just pop it" when you're out of position and it's likely no one will fold.

Please, don't ever lock this thread. The opening paragraph alone was worth the price of admission.

I must disagree. Not sure if it was meant to be funny because it wasn't. I assume he was hoping that people would jump on him for having 9 DUIs. Story was never funny nor believable.

I want my 3 minutes of my day back.

5 star thread imo.

Actually..

As with Collin I know OP, and the fantastic part of this thread is that it's real.. I can confirm most of what's written.

I also would like OP to post more about the Jail house card game. This is far and away better than the "Poker in Macau" thread!


White FLOUR!!

so you drive under the influence of drugs, enough to get noticed by cops and be pulled over all these times and run over a fence, and who's the tool here? I don't think it's the judge dude. you're lucky no one got killed yet.

Oh please let it not be locked. You just can't make stuff like this up!

The worst jailhouse tell is when the biggest guy tells you you gonna be his bottom bitch. Other than that, not so much I can help you with.

OP, there is a hay field out in Buxton, Maine that I need you to go to when you get out.

The loud angry thing is interesting. Normally strong = weak. However, when somebody gets angry they are usually strong because when they are weak they get all polite not wanting to upset/offend.

Surely he has turned over some hands when he raps angry or he has failed at showdown to show a winner. Pay attention!

Also, please no more driving while high. Other people could get hurt and obviously you would end up in jail for a very long time.