Very nice thread with great content, gl and get that money TLF.

What's going on?

TheLipoFund, where you at????

+1

in gl

sorry guys

it's hard to say what exactly has gotten into me over the last couple of months. i've had very little desire to be part of a community and have shut myself off. there have been a bunch of emotions that i've had some problems dealing with, and it has made everything seem so insignificant. for the first time in my life that i can remember, i have felt like my inner voice has been silenced, and i've just been flying through life without any direction or purpose. my relationships with friends and loved ones have struggled, and i've lost a lot of the drive that i feel was my strength for so long. grieving is a long and weird process, its been 8 months since i lost my grandpa who was a parent for me growing up. the reality of death has taken a while to sink in for me. I buried myself in poker late last year , which helped to keep my mind occupied. as i've said before, poker has always been a great form of escape for me. it just doesnt feel as effective now

i havent done well on the poker front. though i really have had a lot of close calls and runs. i have been playing a smarter schedule and a lot fewer tables, i'm not too concerned with where my poker game is at, or my ability to make profit moving forward

in terms of charitable contributions, i have some updates to make. i have made donations to several charities, although i havent had a winning sunday in a long time (only 1 since my last update). they were all for $150 except for $300 for my winning sunday. in addition, since BTC price broke $1500, I donated $100 to PACN, and $150 to epafrica on behalf of Jesper. In addition I have given to the following charities:

FLYTE $300: this goes to fund youth travel. when I was in high school, I won a scholarship to study the French language abroad. However, coming from a family without money, I wasn't able to go and the scholarship/opportunity went to waste. This experience definitely shaped me later in life as I made travel a priority and it changed me for the better. I'd love to provide those opportunities sooner to others

Old Dog Haven $150: goes to fund older dogs that don't find forever homes. i have a soft spot for animals

Trevor Project $150: This goes towards mental illness and suicide prevention

Innocence Project ($150): Prior to starting to play poker, I worked as a Jail interviewer for the Public Defender's office in rural Florida. People need to have their rights protected

Unbound ($150): Sponsoring children living in poverty

Globalgiving ($150)

International Rescue Committee ($150)

Comic Relief ($150)

Save the Children $150

with prior donations, this should bring us to about $2000-$2200~ on the year. we can get an exact count when the year is done. i still owe to a blakkman charity as well, so lmk


i realize ive screwed up this thought experiment, as engagement is necessary for this type of thing to work. theres not much i can do other than try my best moving forward in the future. thanks to everyone for the kind words and support

i should be headed to vegas in 8-9 days, not sure for how long but hope to see everyone out there for some good times

Death is a tricky subject and thats for sure, go talk to somebody and hopefully youll feel better, Ive dealt with that last year or so and its been a struggle, but the reality is you(we) can deal with it in the long run.

Grieving is a part of life and such as happiness or sadness it has to be felt, dealt and accepted without skipping any of it, otherwise we keep carrying it around.
send you a big hug dude, kick ass

hey, sorry to hear that you are still feeling down about lost of your grandpa, imo is ok to feel grieve because of that and question purpose of life etc after such traumatic event for extended period and especially when things on the poker side (which you used to have as escape) arent good, so then negative emotion come over the top flooding you and make you kinda depressed and having problems with motivation and you are starting to question purpose of your life etc etc...
and thats ok imo, and every oneimo should from time to time dig into yourself and introspect and review their goals,motivation,purpose etc...
you will come stronger and more aware about yourself after this periods of introspection...

so take your time to find yourself again, no rush, no pressure

i just want to add that you were one of the original heroes when i was starting to play mtts when you were stuck in huge make up and you dint give up (in situation where a lot of better players and people just trow the towel and broke to pieces), you pick yourself together, stayed motivated and focused, and grind through it and look how far from there you are now,
so i am pretty sure that you gonna overcome this issues that you are struggling at the moment and fell yourself aggain

wish you all the best <3

<3<3<3<3 Marty. Good luck in Vegas and wishing you all the best in your life.

Innn

Dear Lipo

Its been 4 years since i lost my beloved mother from ALS.

I paused poker for about 2 years just a bit after i found out that my mom had an incurable disease and the max survival rate is 2-3 years(the later ones with trash quality of life).

At the time my mother passed i felt that a big chunk of my heart flying away. I lost my biggest supporter, love, a best friend and an outstanding person. I was planning traveling in Europe with her after my graduation (before we find out about sickness) and the feeling that i was not going to have that option, as long as may other ones, was devastating.

I used to be strong as a person, fearless, take the initiative in a lot of situations when somebody had to , hell .... i was even an extremelly optimistic guy that felt the whole world can become his.

All my above characteristics vanished so quick that i didnt had a chance to put up a fight and try preserving them.
All desiscions in life became at least twice as tough as before and i cant find the wright words to describe the level of loneliness i felt since then.
Eventually things get better or at least you kind of accept the situation.
Allthough i still dont.

Loosing a parent is one of the worst experiances you will have in your life and it takes time for anyone to recover. Keep strong and let the time do its work.

Ps sorry for the long post in your thread we dont know its other but i wanted you to know that i can feel what you are going through and also i hope people start and appreciate more what they have untill its too late)

Take care

Kostas

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Hey buddy,

Sorry to hear that, I hope things will get better for you, wish you best of luck !

gl in Vegas.