Do u hv a job if ur not making money?
Full time pro comes w some unwanted stress.
Trying my hardest to get through these next 6 months. Feels a lull.
Poker is the ultimate high and low.
When it's gd it cool.
When it's bad it's utter hell.
During the hell moments, i do my best to go about my days without thinking about it too much. But, it's impossible. At least, I'm proud I don't bring others down with me. I keep all the disappointment on the inside.
How's was everyone's 4th? Happy 4th btw.
For me, the firework parties just aren't the same during some rundbads.
I tried to hv fun. Seriously, I tried. I did the fake smiles, forced happiness, but the brain was occupied w shaky poker thoughts. Thoughts like this one: Yo Rayz, u hv no guaranteed money coming in, and now u losing the money I have. Yep, those thoughts.
Of course, I rather be drinking a beer, watching fireworks, and hanging w buddies; than not. But i just can't shut out those poker demons hovering over me. Reminding me constantly of my recents losses. Knocking stubbornly w no disregard for my attempt on firework fun.
so what is it? Why the downturn?
A). A lot of short term variance and moments of playing some C+/B- game.
Playing gd in some spots and being too way too aggro in others. Barelling when I never get there...maybe I shd give up more and/or bet size differently. Higher vpip lately...ends up slightly spewing. 0for3 hero calling. Need to dumb it down a bit and be more selective when making moves.
Taken more than avg on some beats. Playing B game overall.
Need to turn it around. All of sudden behind pace and 20khunt.
Times are
-$2k ish in July. Haven's won a sesh in July (*only lost 3 days in June).
#fulltransparency