Hey you little swinko, don t eat that omlet next time :P

It is funny how from one tiny mistake your day and level of play can spiral down. I have experienced it myself. Now creating my pre session routine and I can see that any details matter for optimal performance on the tables.

I like your self awareness though in this last post. I think that this blog is like a private journal (noone reads it anyways xDDD) for you where you can spew off and rethink all bad emotions you face during a day. Teem Teem told me that he had worked and works with journaling on regular basis and that it was the single most important tool for his mindset development (I saw him angry at poker poker twice).

I am glad that I wrote down whole thought process. It made me aware of few stuff and it made me analyze two regs. It made me work on my weaknesses, it made me do few stuff that I was procrastinating. Today I was frustrated for my spews lately so I spend whole day on working on game, had to start with something else that is very urgent so managed only 6h 45min of work on game, however I am fine with what I did. Today is 75 day of commitments. 25 days left. I have to grind daily 5h 30min and work on game 2h 15min while having 1 day a week free. It's gotta be nice and I feel fire inside.

Didn't saw your post, you little swinko : D


I remember that he told me the same thing about journal. I stopped doing it last week and it got way worse. Two days ago I started it again, we will see. Thanks for tips. About blog I know what you mean, it's more interesting to write baller and chicks stories, however you know, priorities changed

Couldn't understand why this month was sooo bad. I chceck results and made profit of only 2931.52 Euro. Something was wrong (Graph doesn't include sites with converted that I am playing and still didn't bother to fix an issue because I am working more and don't have enough time on that).


I had to check EV becuase I forced myself to grind more lately and was afraid I am doing very bad while doing so. I feel calmer and better being ~2.5k bellow EV. Anyway today won't play anymore. I am done. In 50 min I've lost 5-6 BI, since yesterday I was set up with like 17 top Str8, which is insane looking at number of hands I've played. Unfortunately brand new desk and keyboard is damaged, however I've ****ed up the system, 10.5h of grind, 50min of working on game, gym and still managed to have ~2.5h free time before bed to enjoy some time with GF. Everything is going into right direction. I just need to force myself to do the **** and it's going to be better and better. Anyway time to analyze previous month I need to see how much spews I've made. Winrate is still to be improved. Can't really say that I have 2 digits winrate because it's a BS, still hands are missing, I am playing with regs and it's I would guess around 40-50k hands on nl100. Maybe will send some message to support but for now just work on game as a rest.

I was soooo close to stop lose (Mindset issues, don't have BI rule). Few stuffed got destroyed, however I am soooo ****ing proud of myself. I did resist last 3h from 6h session today. Everything was screaming, stop doing that **** but I've made it and I got payed off. I've won with one reg at nl400 2BI (hate them doing stop loses after 2-3 BI) and then were 4 tabling some agro ****ers at the same time, it was brutal but resisted, after variance punished me I got lucky in like 5 spots and one after the other was mine. Overall I'd guess in last 3h I've made 1.5k Euro on top of that I've overcomed monkey tilt (was oppening 11x bb Preflop, and 3beting for 25bb at some point) and made a nice day for today!

​Jeeeeez it's like 12 days left with commits so I am pushing myself to get this **** done but it's 2nd day when it's start ultimate anihilation of my person. Yesterday in very first 15 min of session I've lost 2.5 BI at nl600, today was most retarted gay reg I've ever seen to just rage quit after 2.5h. His graph:



I had to go to the gym 15 times in 18 days... I've made a mistake with making commitments but well I am not gonna lose my bets... Yesterday I've been twice at the gym..... It's ****ing insane but it's fine. Last month was 4k euro bellow EV. Now it's like 2nd villian when I am down like 1.4k EV. Fu3k anihilation, fu3k ******s, fu3k variance. I am gonna persists and I am gonna finish my commitments. The plan was to do minmum with commitments and have a rest but since I am running so bad I have work more to make up for it.

Jeeeeez I thought that people who says stuff about BD curse BS themselves but I raged quit two times and two times came back just to quit again.... Had extreme easy reg at nl400 yet was battling him 3h before hit anything and won. I was screaming: "Please one time, please one time" when I've hold KK against AJs that we stacked off preflop. I know when I do pray for winning when I am a head like 72% it's time to stop and work on game.

Kind of brutal till the end, waited pantiently

100 days of commitments is almost done. Today and two days left. All I have to do is to hit the gym 2, do one cold shower and grind for 3.5h, than will show summary. Kind of glad about today. It was amazing volume going on. My brain is really a mess after such a huge session and I know I am on right track. I need to keep doing what I am doing and it will good. Was running bad on medium stackes (nl400) and running better on low stackes (nl100) anyway my winrate was still but result sucks:



Kind of enjoy my progress and kind of enjoy my game. I am very happy about few key points I understood about my game.

Sleep with one eye open, Gripping your pillow tight, Exit light, enter night.... Those were words that we were (me and neighbors) listening while I was doing cold shower and nailing my commitments. All I have to do now is don't eat any Junk tomorrow and I finally did those commitments. So far they were hardest I've ever had. While doing execution of commitments I have brainless monkey on steroids who thinks everything is important and add as much stupid BS as possible, there is also a mucker who doesn't give **** about style and just get things done. So many stuff were unimportant and didn't counted... Most frustrating was cold showers and gym (gym counted while exercise at home, physiotherapist didn't count etc.). At the end I had 13 gyms in 15 days, it was insane and my body is tiered as ****, even though last week was more like 2-3 exercises with stretching it's still was too much (while doing 20 cold showers). Got ill a bit. GF was ill for two weeks and me being under big pressure from exercises and cold showers couldn't end other way. Were keep doing my **** because I had to finish commitments ate like 10-15g of vitamin C daily, 10k UI vitamin D and were sleeping as much as 10-8h a day and did it (cold showers was worst during that time....)

http://prnt.sc/d8erg9
http://prnt.sc/d8errm

Could lose 600 euro but I've made it. Therefore this money is going to be my reward for doing 100 days of commitments and succeeding at those. What is funny hardest part was sleeping 6h 40min+ daily... If I wouldn't got ill twice I would need to sleep more than usual before end of commitments. Anyway I am very thrilled that my 3bet game is stronger than my Single Raise Pot game. Thrilled to move it few steps forward than improve my single raise game / 4bet game. Anyway still need to work on two boards that I see insanely high profitable seeing how badly population plays them. Gl at the tables guys!

Pretty Okeish Month. When it comes to grind lazy definetely, managed to grind 76h :PPP Grinding hours are improving but had plenty of free days. End of commits, some surprisec free days etc. Overall I've earned 5240 Euro that month (+ Living Lifes + BS that I've bought at Black Friday and Cyber Monday) I am to lazy to count my real hourly becuase I'd need to distract all my spendings, all the **** I've bought via amazon (and it's a lot of weird ****... esp at Black Friday and Cyber Monday) so hourly more or less is 68 Euro / h I am thrilled to see is it variance or battling regs gives me more money than bumbhunting (way more hands per hour because of fast 3-4 tables). I understand myself better and I am doing stuff a bit different. Kind of glad that I checked results because had two rage quits, two days in a row. GL at the tables!

Also I have 1kk hands experience in HU by now:


I am proud about my winrate but I have to improve it GOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGOGO

BTW winnings are not real. PT4 sucks at converting different curencies than USD / EU and GBP. I used to play some at Europebet and at Klass network which was counted x4 Euro when it was worth 1/4 Euro or something a like.... Anyway what is most important is the winrate over the sample.

I am soo proud of myself I need to brag :P Today I couldn't sleep I mean I woke up because I've though it's allready time to wake up, sleep too much yesterday (like 10h, doing something what increased my sleep needs by like 50-75% of what I had :O) so today woked up early and started grind. After like 1.5h I had enough, yesterday some hit and runs at nl600, today lost like 3BI to reg, had to make stoplose even though I've felt in complete control over him Rivers didn't match my play and hand after hand I faced worst possible Rivers. It happens. Than some other **** happend and I ended rage quiting, throwing stuff and doing other ****, just to go back to grind in like 30min latter booking today 10h 25 min session with around ~3-3.5k hands. Really awesome day, in those days I feel so alive even though my brain doesn't work, it's hard to drive a card and say anything more complex than 'order nr 7 please. I did a phenomal job and did this week quite bad, rather than especially bad (did made some investemnts and lost like 4 hours on printing BS, going to post and doing other **** to pay taxes, ridic, you don't even know are u going to make money but regadles you pay taxes up front.... )

Anyway keeping lobby is way more energy draining than I've thoguh It's way easier to battle fish there and forth than keeping regs starving... xD

And today I guess have quite good day when it comes to earnings becuase I've been doing quite good at nl600+ and getting rapped at nl100 and nl200. Good day after yesterday rape, where I happen to lose like 8BI in just 15 min or something alike :O Anyway very pleased with my

Read the whole thread from p1 very inspiring read and fun stories What sites/network do you play cash games on? Ipoker only or something else

I am glad Yeah pretty standard sites curently, it's a way easier for action on less sites when you are better and can wider villain selection

I really did ****ed up today. I don't remember when I felt ashamed like 5 min after the rage quit session. At most I was angry and in rage but today I am ashamed. I had rough run, slept 4hours today and I did ****ed up at the tables. Many BI were spewed. Didn't felt like but since yesterday I got beaten a bit and today something broke. Maybe it's because I lost 600 euro at nl100 and maybe because I am weak. The main takeaway is do not 4 table with different people when you slept 4hours, let them have table for a while than kill them, otherwise you end up with hole in your brand new desk and shame after a session.

Since Last Thursday / Tuesday I wake up at tilt level of 8/10. I do not have to do anything, just wake up and be tilted. I increased sleep quantity from 5.5h to like 8.5-9h. It's okey, my body is dealing with it and recovery from it. Still it's not hard for me to trigger rage. Just 2 points more and I am allready at 10/10, the point where I start to losing control. Was forcing myself to work, but couldn't work so well. Every time I sat at work internet was dropping off, you turn on tables, than internet goes down for 5 min, than you turn tables on and it happens again. Lost plenty of BIs lately. I guess due to variance, hard to tell sometimes because it's like brain shut off from those emotional arousal. Weird thing that working at Christmas was always like that for me. When I've stacked of KK vs AK I knew what is going to happen. I've faced plenty of crying folds that I did and I am happy about it. Some hands you are just happen to lose no matter what, ain't gonna fold KK preflop ever.

It's not like I need to rest. I need to regenerate. Fortunately I am starting to take control overmyself and do right folds, even hard ones. It's like when you face 5th river raise in 200 hands it's hard to fold, but when runout happens to complete everything, what else you can do with two pairs other than bet/fold... I don't remember when I was soo thrilled about Christmas or any other holidays, yet not supper happy about the reason why I am soo thrilled. Was up with my work and 100 days challenge for the first time I guess, anyway it's all gone since the weird mode thing happen. Anyway I am up for whatever challenge I have to go through in followings weeks. As I supposed there is something I do not know yet, something that has it's own reasons, something new I need to learn.

Not sure am I going to play tomorrow. Today definitely not. This month was the worst performance I've had this year, maybe even worst month in whole poker carrier. I am working on something, that is very demanding, high risk but can make a huge, huge return over the following years. I hate how it makes me feel, I hate that I am very weak and vulnerable but well I made a decision I am going to do it so I am sticking to it. The worst case scenario is that I lose two months, money at the tables and nothing will improve, the best are that my goals are going to be matched. Anyway it's worth it.

I can't even describe how badly I let circumstances make me play bad. This month I was calling a lot of River raise. To be honest yeah I had way more tigers. Last month I've played 22602 hands, this month I've played 22071 hands and this month I've faced 220% raises to River Cbet compared to last month and 137% more raises to Probe Bets I don't know other stats because I've realized how much time I'd lose trying to prove my point when there is someone else to blame than variance, those people are: me, myself & I. I was responsible for losing control after Fish hit and run 1nlk. (It was sick btw, I sit at the tables and play 20-40 hands with nl1k regs who are willing to play other regs at nl1k (for now those players are few levels higher than me) for sake of waiting for fish. Didn't have any fish action at those limits for 4 months. Last week had 3 guys, ALL OF THEM hit and run after winning big pot after I got cooler. So you think right approach is to play more solid against other people, I've made the other decision and I let take over my emotions and spew at nl600 and nl400. This month I've spew like 2k euro I guess.

Anyway need to refocus on work, can't let myself blah blah too much so quick summary. ****ed up this month. Spewed a lot. Let myself being controlled by other circumstances. Need to get over it and work from there. GL in following year!

Today hit new personal record day.
Grinded 8h, Worked on Game 1h 15min.

Extremelly excited and grateful about today.
Variance was on my side. Was playing very good. In first 10 min of grind lost like 3BI on nl100 but still. However resisted.
Soon we go out with GF to celebrate, yet still have some poker related stuff to do.

Have fun hand:


Rage quit today. Certainly not because of this hand, it was first session while 2nd one was insane. After working some on game I felt the fire and went back to grind some more. In 25 min managed to lose 4BI so I call it for today. Overall very happy about today.

Well it was awesome week when it comes to girnd. I did a solid 38h 20min of grind. I know it's not a lot compared to many people but for me it's personal success. As mucha as whole January so far (And I am commited to keep it that way). Three days ago I almost cried during the session, guy came, crushed me, I was losing to him like 4-5 BI in 100 hands, he joined me two times, became my nemesiss a bit, untill it became SIMPLE! I made two extremelly simple adjustments and his whole gameplan was ****ed, started to gaining those money back but he decided that he won't give me action anymore. Happens, it's not often happen that I feel soo powerless that I feel crying. Anyway what is past is past.

It's time for me to gain strength. To go as hard as last week and even better. So far it's lame start, only 6h 40min of work this week but I am commited to make it better. What is funny that guy made me feel bad and hand like that didn't bother me, even though it happend some time after him:


Anyway I am grinding too low, for not enough hours, with not enough skill but I am commited to change those stuff. Gl at the tables.

Quite nice slow day:

Sooooooooooooooooooo sick spot:

Becuase our govemrante changed some stuff I am putting 100% Playmoney Graph for this month / year.


Last week was brutal. Lost keyboard, almost two, hand is in pain. This week is going to be easier, I did amazing job grinding way more than I usually do, forced myself thorugh a lot and now I need to take a little more sleep and let my mind to regenerate, awesome moment for work on some other stuff. Today rage quited, like 6th time in last 4 days.. Anyway made around 10k Euro playmoney this month or something alike. Wish you get luck at the tables and keep crushing!