Today I'll have short summary because I have to keep on going! A lot of stuff to do. Very little time left....
First something I love, numbers!!!!




Overall not that bad with my performance. Had like 5 days off last 3 days off last week and job is not terrible terrible. Have Visa to USA, next Holidays in about 1.5month will be ****ing baller! Can't ****ing wait. It will be really huge.

Very happy about my game improvement. Working on 3bet Pots OOP, it's boring as **** but I love it and it's something I have to do. Two weeks ago I spend on that **** 26h while still grinding 25h..... Stuff are going good. Working on good habits, relationship is way better. All goes into right direction.

Ah and BTW I became fat pig during the 'bulking' phase.
Boy oh boy I love this:

this:
[img]http://vegejedzenie.blog.pl/files/2015/12/Lindt2.jpg[img]
and this:


Had to put limits on this for two weeks (one more left) and evaluate because from butter and chocolate I could eat like 2k calories daily more.... I used to eat whole Lindt chocolate and half of kerrygoald when I was waiting for meal.... than latter in the day same **** as a snack.... I love those, can't do anything about it but I have to control it a bit. Anyway all goes great. Also had to add 2 conditional weekly after workouts because of fat pig reasons.

I think these journals that you are keeping are extremely usefull. I do wonder if are not sabotaging yourself by putting such high standards from the get go. They might make you lose motivation over time when you seem to always be in the red.

I too have realized that I am burnt-out due to putting so much pressure on myself for such a long time in so many different areas of my life that I need to take a little break now. Maybe lowering your standards by just a bit and getting weekly/monthly wins and then making the standards just that bit higher will have much better long-term results overall.

@danufcs
Hey Thanks for your opinion. I've been doing commitments for last 3 years. They have it own prons and cons. It's the first time I am doing 100 days challenge and I am testing it out. I am doing commtiments to become person that I wasn't before. It means it has to be higher than I am to force myself to grow and to be better. There is no way around it. I can handle easily 100 days of pressure I used to be bruend out about 3-4months of constant commitments. So I decided that 100 days will make the job done. It's way easier to keep on good work if you know that it will stop after 100 days. At least that is theory I've made and now I am earning experience to either prove it or denied it.

Purple means = I am a lazy **** who does ass lame job and oes 85% of plan
Red means = I am going pay for Muslim charity 400 Euro for each Poker and Body if something is on red after 100 days
Green means = All is great and I am doing a fantastic Job

I see it different than you do. It used to be 6-7 stuff on red, now are only 4 and I am getting ready because it's the last 30 days and this is my prime time. I am usually at my best after first 10 days and around one month before finish line. This is when I feel the biggest pressure and this is when I feel the rush that I love.

Lately been extremely tilted, felt like didn't had action just to lose few coolers and face hit and run. Whole sunday was like that but it's good. Next three weeks are going to be most intense in whole year I guess so I need that. I need that to face a challenge, when times go tough I get tough. So it's very good. I have only one goal for that week. Write daily goals on my goals sheet to stay accountable to what I need to do. Last week and whole stuff in numbers.




Didn't grind enough because was focused on something else. Will write more once everything is done. I'd rather do my **** first than talk about it. Unforutantelly my pride costed me a **** load of money. I am who I am and I've learned my lesson. I guess it's my 2nd most expensive lesson that I had in last three years, but it's good more of those please to have more money in the future.

Another Week Completed. This Week was quite brutal however I was doing very well and today everything paid off. I am very happy about the hours I put in. Probably the best week ever work wise. More than 36h of grind +7h of work on game. Funny because I used to be tilted when someone was keep pounding on me and were keep 3beting me and now I can't wait to play 3bet pots. I understand it way better, I abuse some tendencies and I feel like a kid when my triple barrel bluff works or tilt the **** out of people by donking turns in 3bet pots and putting them in hell spots It's amazing and I love that ****. Wasn't aware that people fold soooo much.... Maybe you just need to know spots and understanding them better....

Problem with Graph solved. I guess It was even 4x TIMES my account form Europbet where I lost money that was (almost) tripled because it counts GEL as Euro while it's like 2.6-1 I lost there and I was running like **** so making it 4x as much makes sense why I had more hands, less money and worse winrate... Especially that it happens at other site as well. Stupid converter didin't work, was trying to add different names it didn't count it as duplicates and whole database is ****ed up. I don't care that much because the most important thing is my bankroll and **** I did and bought. Anyway I wish you great weekend. And next week I am going to work until I'll bleed. I am gonna do everything to do the **** done and acomplish my goals. As you see two stuff are red and rest is pussy way.... Will do my best to have some important stuff on green side!


Cheers and some numbers:




Ah stuff that I've learned

1) Dedication Pays OFF
2) Tought times doesn't last, tough people do. (whole week of getting rapped to have fantastic day)

I am not supper happy about last week but was very thoughtful. Last 9 days left. Last week I founded out that I have to pay at least 300 euro anyway for Muslims. I did forgot about sauna and contrast bath after working out, which was part of full workout. Wanted to go 17 days straight for sauna but thought it would be cheating and I have to pay my price for forgetting about it. Last week wanted to go nuts with body, which I started but felt bad afterwards, not only psychically but also mentally. I persuaded myself that it's not about some stupid commits or not it's more about person who I am becoming. It's more about doing what I believe rather than paying 300 euro to muslims. It's more about helping me become person I want to be with stuff I can use for my advantage. Therefore I am not quitting on any of mine body commitments, of course sauna and contrast bath **** you I am not going to do you for next 9 days because I am paying the price but with the rest I have no ego problems....

Numbers:



Goals for next week:

Grind 6.5h x 5 days
Vinegar 2x Daily....

Key Lesson: It's not about being unbreakable. It's more about getting toughter each time when you were at risk of being break....

Ok Overall paying for missing something got me demotivated at doing stuff I should do regards to health except of working out. I see numbers and I know that I did quite Lame Job. I am going to make work on Game Green. To finish it at least with a little bit of respect..... Just a drop in the ocean... Doing only 1 from xxx stuff. However I can't wait to get rid of some stuff etc. Not happy with my results because it proves I have no self motivation and only stuff that works for me are commitments and dedication to making those commitments. It is how it is and I am going to grab what I can. Anyway in few days I'll make summary of my 100 days challenge. Today and two more days and I am done with 100 days challenge...

Key Lesson: Don't relay on something you do not have

Last Week + Summary in Numbers:



Pink Color is Prize for doing lest possible to achieve Goal.
Red means I gave as ass.
Green means I did as planned.

And the prize for not seeing Sauna and Contrast Bath after Gym, goes to.....


Overall work on Game:



I accomplished a driving license during this 100 days challenge. In less than week I am going to take it form office.
I am able to battle weaker regs from nl1k of course on their lower limits! I am did some other stuff. However overall I am not super happy.
Numbers shows that I am motivate to do as little as possible to achieve my goals. So I have to aim higher and stay accountable toward myself.

HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE lesson. DO NOT ****ING EVER make 100 days of something for your health. After 30-40 days I hated vinegar and Lemon and salt.
Those stuff were great to do for a month to improve my health and my digestion but after 40 days I didn't liked it, after 60 I hated every single day of it....
I acted like a small child for last days.... Because I had to pay for missing sauna and contrast bath that I didn't saw were part of the gym I had to pay sooooo
I overdid gluten, sugar, candies and every single **** you can count. Eating junky food is not where I am going and I am very ashamed that I did it.
I have my weakness and I have to look at them and learn from them. What can I say is that those challenges are not for everyone....
You will be tiled, you will need to go to visit your parents, you will be in fight with GF or something and you have to do your **** or you are gonna pay.
Every single day you have to be accountable, every single day counts... I love what I've learned I love what I got from it.

Up to Holidays no more commitments. Probably. I would rather stay and grind my ass off but we have some stuff prepared so we have to do it.
I can't say because I am excited as **** about next holidays. It is something I had to deny when I joined coaching for profit deal, I was waiting for it 2-3 years now.
Gonna make reports. Cheers!!

I am so ****ing excited! For last two hours I am singing this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhySX3eEvYo

Clubbing im Miami City, maybe in Key West as well. Can't ****ing wait! Usually I don't like clubbing but when I get in trance I ****ing love it. Like at Tokyo. GF didn't knew me from that site (neither do I) but I went on my totall A game, getting drunk with Japaness whiskey, dancing at some sort of podium / platform, each person knew me in like hour. Unfortunatelly that night costed me around 300$ maybe even 400$ but well, no brainer worth it.

Came back almost week ago from USA. It's been longest vacations in last 3 years. I didn't play for almost a month. At the beggining all went quite okeish. Some regs nl400+ stopped giving me their tables and start hunting me. Well It's a dirty business isn't it? Maybe that's the reason why they are playing higher, they are more observant and they go to punish for any weakness. I was running quite okeish, lately my ass is getting rapped, it's okey, it happens, variance, part of world I chose, most funny mainly from fish. Today was thinking about quiting session, after just 50min, after yesterday and two days ago I really wanted but couldn't. My goals are on line.

I got beaten opponent after opponent. I felt it all, frustration, aggression, helplessness, fear, senselessness, you name it. I had my goals, they were at stake so it's normal. I knew I have to turn them into war plan. It's either me or them so it's war. I am not going to give up on my goals, so there is going to be blood. Especially after USA I understand myself a bit better. I know more what I want from my life, I know more what I am willing to sacrifice and my priorities changed a bit, to be more exact they are the same, but some of them are stronger than they used to be. Enough with my excuses. As I said, there will be blood and I need a war plan.

USA trip was ****ING AWESOME. Never saw power of money that clearly. My brain was never that blown out. I gained soo much respect for Rockefeler or Carnegie since I am learned more about them, when I saw their empire... I knew they were a head of their's time. Really brilliant minds.




I was writing this almost week ago. Then I made one HUGE, HUGE mistake. I screamed something like, 'it's all you've got, you stupid count world? Gimme all you have, try to break me' Do NOT EVER SAY THIS BS. It was stupid to say that because it looked like challenge for world.... Anyway I am back two weeks now since I came back form America I am getting prepared for something great and huge, I don't know what yet but I am getting prepared for really hardcore stuff. For last two weeks:

I am on downswing (I guess) losing a lot of small / big pots, got busto at three poker rooms in last two weeks. (In last year I got bust once....)
Someone broke at my poker room, dump hunt all my money, not sure how much I've lost around 2-3k Euro I guess
Relationship with my female best friend is probably over, we knew each other for like 8 years. I could count on her, and she had my support as well. I guess it's over.
Someone stole 500 euro from my wallet... needed to block my credit cards. I guess I need to change ID and Driving license as well.... Everything happened at the date....
Had two huge, huge fights with my GF.
Yesterday my ipad that was my reminder from Columbia went blank and didn't work.
Three days ago my iphone that is bran new reminder from USA ****ed up and I need to charge it twice daily and once at night, otherwise battery is empty...
Some **** happens to the area near my knee and today I wasn't able to make right squats because I felt pain in a weird way....
Car had 8 technical issues that has to be fixed... Least of worry but still.

Other than that everything is awesome. I know I am getting tested for something big. Something bigger than I am, it's rarely happen that as much stuff happens all at once in like 2 weeks period. I am getting challenged to rise to challenge. I need to grow to thrive, it's gonna be brutal but it's part of the life I chose. I chose all of those stuff. I've learned some lessons I believe I am ready for what is coming on. I am gonna work hard as ****. I am gonna do everything to get tougher and better. This week I am gonna make ****ing war plan. When the **** is coming I have to be prepared. Yesterday when I realized that my money was stolen I felt like I got punch in a belly, I felt like a crying for a moment. Then I felt calm in a weird way. I know I am gonna handle that ****, I am ready for everything, I am preparing for worse and I am praying for best.

Funny thing happened yesterday, I thought for a moment that there's a plenty of reasons for feeling pity, then angry and frustrate voice in my head screamed: 'don't you even dare you ****ing count, you have to be thought and you gotta be allright, you rise to the challenge plenty of times, this time will be no different, each time you wasted a lot of time and energy on feeling pitty rather than moving your lazy ass and getting **** done, don't you dare, learn your ****ing lesson once for all'. Anyway I thought I have to write some stuff, felt need for doing it for whatever reason. I still know that most people are waiting for some photos and trip report so here we go:



Before we even went to USA, our trip become huge mess. Everything was booked before (no return option), we had cheap flying tickets, literally few hours before bus I've heard that flying tickets are done, we won't make it. We can't go there. Company sold more tickets that they had, therefore GTFO. I had very little time to find something out and it ended up paying double for flight compared to what we planned... I'll skip New York City for now and jump right to the middle of our trip, Miami Beach. Before we went to USA, I phoned renting company to ask for rent with debit card (we don't own credit card, because we never needed it) I told them I am from Europe, is my debit card or cash is enough, they checked some data and said as long as you over 25 all is fine.

We went to Miami it ended up that our card didn't work, we couldn't rent a car (and we had a trip to Key West planned and booked) all what we've heard was: "I am sorry for you, lady made a mistake, you are from Europe, your card doesn't work with us", "But I called call center, your office, you are the one who made a mistake so try something out", "I am so sorry, I can not do anything, she just made a mistake I hope you understand." 4-5 hours latter and few hundred $$ latter we made it, we rented a card, however it took too much time and we didn't have enough time. I've made a surprise and booked a Jacht for a night with sunset and sunrise at the sea at Key West. Idea was awesome it would look awesome and would be awesome, the only problem was that we were there at 1 at night and it was too late to wake up for even sunrise.... Anyway the place was awesome, sleeping at Jacht at the sea is still awesome, we loved it.





Unfortunately some photos are missing.... Will need to see what happens but variance is grinding! Have to go to work on my game, need to be extremely prepared on every single session, especially now.

Almost didn't sleep at night, GF was rushing throught the bed so decided that it's better to grind some rather than get angry at that and make myself more tiered by lying all night and not sleeping.

Funny thing happened. I was cheering and I was extremelly happy when I won with AA against villain BDGS that he h it on the Flop when he was stacking against me A7. I am sooo happy that I won AA against A7!! It's going to be ok, I just need to grind.

Here we go again! It seems that my mind is way better to handling the stress of last stuff than my body. It looks like I keep a lot of tension in myself (not a huge shocker) because today at the gym I've heard crack while I was doing pull ups and since then I am not able to move my head right and left too much. Had problem to go back to home with car because it was hard to change path when you can't move your hand for more than 4cm.... Gonna stretch more and should be good, gogogogo!

Couldn't sleep. Pain woke me up each time I moved. Was a bit worried, called emergency and guy told me that I should get painkillers and it's gotta be fine. 3rd day is going be worse. I do not believe in painkillers, pain is alway the reason so boy it's gotta be fun... He told me that it's standard injury (for him) and should not be worry but painkillers are must becuase it's just started. It's good more time to grind, maybe just 1 table for obvious reasons.

Today I've failed. Goal was to grind 10h to make 40h of grind that week (it would be my record) I've failed made only 7h 21 min. Anyway I've made my record when it comes to grind aka 37h 21min at the tables. Was fighting with myself, I got over losing 4-5BI on nl200+ in 20min, after like 40min it happened again for like 3-4 BI more, slammed the desk, slammed heater and quit. Worked some on game. Fortunately I have plenty room for my skill improvement and I started to work on it. Anyway time for some numbers. It's allready 18th day of 100 days challenge:

Hello Guys, It's been a week now. Downswing still hit hard so my ass get kicked. I have 3rd injury with my body over last 2 week.. I guess I have to have weaker work outs when I am under huge mental pressure from variance. I handle it quite good mentally, I am really amazed by myself and how I face it.
I used to crack mentally at some point and go drink, watch porn / play computer games whole day, overeat eat junky food, spew at the table and evade grinding and working on game. I handle it perfect just my body cracked 3rd time now. This time shoulder, signal is clear and I am gonna adjust something... Not sure what but we will see. Since last week probably lost again another best friend, 2 out of 4 left, busted 2 more poker rooms acc but I feel like variance is going to it's normal state and I am extremely happy about it.

I would love to have variance on my side. I would really love that. But I am going to be grateful if it won't stop me, if it won't make everything harder in the first place. I remember when last time I had downswing I was waiting for upswing not for normal run, now I am beaten so hard that I am waiting for normal run, but it's good, it has some reason that I don't understand. There is one thing I understand. Even if more bad stuff happen I won't write about them. It doesn't really help me and I see that I am more concentrated on them, def more than I should. Last week at some aspects was awesome. GF made me a fantastic surprise for our 2nd year together celebration, she booked a 4 star hotel with spa, we went to castle, she's really amazing. Also my best friend visit us at wedensday and we also had great time. Overall I see that my current relations strength up, which is sort of good.

The problem with those visits is that I didn't grind as much as I should but here are the numbers.


Three stuff in red it's a good start but I have to do something more. The biggest problem I'll have with gyms because I am not able to do them as often as planned because body cracks all the time, anway will find something out. I guess the most valuable lesson for that week is if your body crack change something and adapt! Gogogogogogogogogogoog chase this variance MOFO!

Hello Guys, It's been a week now. Downswing still hit hard so my ass get kicked. I have 3rd injury with my body over last 2 week.. I guess I have to have weaker work outs when I am under huge mental pressure from variance. I handle it quite good mentally, I am really amazed by myself and how I face it.
I used to crack mentally at some point and go drink, watch porn / play computer games whole day, overeat eat junky food, spew at the table and evade grinding and working on game. I handle it perfect just my body cracked 3rd time now. This time shoulder, signal is clear and I am gonna adjust something... Not sure what but we will see. Since last week probably lost again another best friend, 2 out of 4 left, busted 2 more poker rooms acc but I feel like variance is going to it's normal state and I am extremely happy about it.

I would love to have variance on my side. I would really love that. But I am going to be grateful if it won't stop me, if it won't make everything harder in the first place. I remember when last time I had downswing I was waiting for upswing not for normal run, now I am beaten so hard that I am waiting for normal run, but it's good, it has some reason that I don't understand. There is one thing I understand. Even if more bad stuff happen I won't write about them. It doesn't really help me and I see that I am more concentrated on them, def more than I should. Last week at some aspects was awesome. GF made me a fantastic surprise for our 2nd year together celebration, she booked a 4 star hotel with spa, we went to castle, she's really amazing. Also my best friend visit us at wedensday and we also had great time. Overall I see that my current relations strength up, which is sort of good.

The problem with those visits is that I didn't grind as much as I should but here are the numbers.
http://image.prntscr.com/image/42251...2f8.png​

Three stuff in red it's a good start but I have to do something more. The biggest problem I'll have with gyms because I am not able to do them as often as planned because body cracks all the time, anway will find something out. I guess the most valuable lesson for that week is if your body crack change something and adapt! Gogogogogogogogogogoog chase this variance MOFO!

Funny feeling. I know I should write trip report from USA, on the other hand I am extremelly productive life and poker wise. My full time is dedicated toward work, people close to me, improving health. I don't remember when was the last time when I was rush like that... probably never.... I do not have energy for procrastination and doubts, I make choices instantly and I love the feeling.

Keep having downswing. Today I was hoping that it's going to stop, have quite nice second session, time that I was planing to play ended but becuase I was running good I wanted to keep playing in ended up losing 6 big pots in 7min, auto post big blind, facing 3bets wanted to quit that **** and were losing pot after pot on the River. This was my first hope breaker that happen at Monday:


Were losing to reg 3BI because of losing Flips and though it's about time, but well not this time, metagame was great because I could be tilted as ****. Last 15 pots were lost by me hand after hand.


Last hand for today was calling down Q9 on QJ4tt8J which was brilaint runout, J makes him not that likely to vbet AA / KK / Qx, 9 blocks str8, Q blocks QJ, so only J8, 88, T9 left, compared to busted FD / AK / KT and other hands, anyway he had quad, happens. Thought that I have to work hard on my game because of tilt but well when I thought more about it. **** it, I'll need to rest and sleep like a baby therefor quiting a day and preparing for tomorrow. Main takeaway from this week is that hoping that something ends leads to trouble, you either feel normal because your hopped match reality or you destroy your brand new desk....

Not tooo proud about that, was dealing quite well but it's ok, I need more experience and it will be better. Can't wait to grind again tomorrow, variance shows me who's the boss for quite a while, it's fine, it would be good if it change but for now quit nl1k for a while. GOGOGOGOGOO grind GOGOOGOGOGOGOGOG

I got ill some time ago. It's funny how stress put huge pressure on the body and the body want to rest so it goes ill. The more I fight the more stuff happens so two days ago I had an aha moment. Well I am motivated to work on game and fix some other issues. Then I realize why the **** I am fighting with myself to grind, when it's the last thing to do, when I have to fix plenty of stuff, when I am very motivated to work on game while I have many stuff to work on. Maybe it's my shoot to go through few levels higher with my skill, threw levels higher with some other stuff and fix few other issues that has to be done anyway. Doing stuff esy not forcing myself, trying go back to health while stabbing here and there stuff that are going to move me forward. GOGOGO

Today is 48 day of the challenge, 52 days left, 41 grinding days left, 305 hours left. I am very excited for the challenge, there are adjustments to be made to my overall plan, never had such a challenge but it's fine. Today I am very proud of myself was keep losing 250 hands to weaker regs on my lowest limit (kind of feel like playmoney) and I managed to play okeish. Waited for three spots to take it back and be up 1.5 BI (unforutantelly it's only nl100 so rake took 1BI for itself) Anyway know his weakness but those spots are rare so it's challenging. Today I've managed to do only 6h from 7.5h that I have to do daily. 299/305h left till end of challenge. Adjustment has to be done and I am more ready than ever.

It's a long time since I did not post an update. Plenty of stuff happens during that time. Stopped worrying about am I on downswing or not, from simple reason, it doesn't change a **** and it builds a tension. Friend some time ago told me something VERY important. Stuff changed, you do reg battles, you hold lobby, maybe it's not like you are on downswing, maybe this is your current winrate, maybe this is how stuff are going to be. I accepted it, I mean I didn't because I like to feel big edge over the guy I am playing with so I am working on getting better however I do not make a huge deal out of it, even if I swear, even if I am pissed, no one care, as simple as it is.


Didn't figure out how this **** doesn't work but it shows only ~100k hands. It's like when reg battling it's easy to go for 1.5-2k hands daily so it's gotta don't import hands / do something else but I do not care, as long as I am improving as long as I know what I should work on and as long as I have more $$ it can show even -50bb/100


So stuff aren't as bad in longer sample that I expected, however I have to be ready for implication that doing reg battles have. I have to accept it and live with it. Was waiting for guy like him for last year, anyway enjoy:


If you feel like hero:
https://www.weaktight.com/h/57f9ea3ed39043d24b8b45ad
If you feel like hero twice:




It was very weird experience, look at his aggression tendencies:


This guy for over 400 hands, bluffed once in 3bet pot on 4 str8 board. He booked a profit of around 5.5BI on nl200 in Euro, and I've lost like 7BI to him. I have to tell that I was running hot against him, everywhere I had perfect bluffcatchers that are snaps against anyone but him. WIth him it was more like close spot, however there are stuff that you just not fold, same with value hands I had to hit very good stuff, had sets, str8 and all sort of dreamed hands in 3bet Pots, however he happened to have more of those I hope that at least he had fun time for that money. The very next day I had this very nice gentelman:


It is HIS graph, not mine. Both time I was fighting with myself to fight with them, 2nd time was way better. The first time I survived, were swearing, not super proud about my reaction but resisted, survived and played okeish so not that bad tho, 2nd time I was very proud of myself I really rocked and was keeping myself well managed. Of course I wasn't 100% perfect and I could woke up some neightboors but I did my job done.

And my challenge:

Reg = Great, Black = I have to work on that till end of commits (with Grind and work on game there are mistakes about counting it so I am better than it looks)

And funny thing happened two days ago at the gym. one woman was smiling to me as hell, I smiled back and I saw in her eyes that she really wanted me to approach her, so it's like something normal and common but what made my day happed 30 min latter, I saw her doing squads and I knew the reason why she had so lovely smile earlier. We were doing some chit chat two days earlier, I did not recognize her face, until she was doing squads.... I don't remember how many times it happened in the past that I didn't recognize woman until she turned off but it never stopped to amaze me.

​Poker never stop to amaze me. Yesterday went out for drinking, chillouted, I am back with work and have to work few hours straight, first 10 min lose like 16 big pots, including AA against KK in 3bet Pot. It's very normal thing just very thoughtful. It's the same like with USA trip, didn't have big enough BR to go there, few stuff ****ed up before we left so it cost more. So went somewhere under rolled I knew the risk but the costs almost doubled so it cost me 7 086 Euro and 26 cents (30 438,33 PLN) after which I hit downswing for 1.5x month, very thoughtful like starting session, losing like 6BI in 10 min, knowing that you have to grind 6.5h straight, stuff like that happens and they are normal part of life, yet every time when they happen I am shocked, one is sure, you never have boring life as a poker pro. During writing this had also Hit and Run yet fortunately things start to turn around lately! I am glad about it, all I can do is do my **** and hope for the best​

Jezz today first time in a while where I lost. I don't mean money lose because it happens
and it's going to happen often 40-45% of the time, depending from how good your edge is. Today I lost because my decision were based on my emotions:
- I'll eat that great omelet that GF prepared, it's warm and tasty and I feel like crap, I am gonna eat it 5 hours before my eating window, why not I feel like crap.
- I am gonna Pot here because I am keep losing and playing worse than usual is going to decrease my lose rate
- I am gonna watch serial in the meantime, why I should work on my game or play with regs when I don't have fish action, why to work on changing problems when I can just distract myself, bull**** myself and pretend that everything is great
- I am gonna feel like crap for another two hours rather than do something that change my well being, why to be more productive when I can feel miserable to spite world
- I am gonna target weak range with super duper sizing just to showing I have balls and get unpaid
- I am gonna to keep repeating that I am keep losing everything on sites where I made a withdraw because they know I went for VIP neteller and skrill and turned on domswitch to made me pay for it.
- I am gonna speak about IQ of people who donk/call, check/raise rather than reevaluate my defaults on nl200+ where are plenty of Reverse Hunting, rather than work on that aspect I am going to tell them how well I know their mother. It will change my life by a lot.
- Hell no I am not going to face and deal with domswitch! I am to proud to complain therefore I am going to evade problems, overeat them, spew and destroy another desk, dealing with problems is overrated.
- Variance do you really think that you can make me losing money? I am gonna show you. You saw that? I did a spew I lost because of myself not because I was running bad, watch this, and
here is another pot, and who is stupid now....
- No I won't spend more time on making decisions when I am running hard, I'd rather distract my pain by watching serials, talking via phone while making decision just to distract myself for of improving results!

More or less it was my though proces while making today decisions. I guess that thinking:
- **** I've lost Top Set in 4bet Pot at 180bb deep at nl200 and Top Two in 3bet Pot 160bb deep with same reg on nl200, however I managed to lose only 430 Euro to him. I am glad I have such an edge that even obvious coolers I am not dead against him.
- Damn this guy weakness is XYZ but on the other hand here he doesn't have weakness in that line I won't try to prove him that I am going to rape him everywhere, I am going to make exploitive fold and attack different ranges, those that are no nuts heavy.
- Damn this line is tilting me so badly, I have very strong impression that at my stackes and against my default opponent it doesn't work anymore, therefore I am going to check it before putting hours on some sexy new stuff.

Is at least overrated. Thank God that today I am thinking so clearly and my tigers leads to perfect response. Thank God that in day when I am losing 80-90% pots I can count on solid example 1 thinking that helps me thrive under highly stressful moments. Distracted, spewing, fat pig here it comes!