Seems like you have a good head on your shoulders and are being honest with yourself and your feelings. That's a super huge part of being able to have success in this game long term. Totally feel you on not processing variance as well as possible. I've been a professional for over 10 years now and honestly I still don't feel I have a fully healthy relationship with variance. In my case net worth and the insignificance of the $ amount of the swings hasn't even changed much about how I experience it. Definitely would encourage you to spend the time and money now to find ways to change how you feel about that stuff, especially if your goals are to be playing as big as possible. Gl in Nov!

Appreciate it. What is the most effective way of allocating resources to make progress in those aspects? Mental game coaching? Therapy? Poker therapy?

Any format you have personal experience with? Feel free to dm me if you dont want to share publicly. Curious to hear about your perspective.

I think some of that will come down to an individuals strengths and weaknesses, so probably won't look exactly the same for everyone. If you tend to be a more risk averse person it's easy to fall into a pattern of not pushing yourself to play higher even if doing well in your games because it's more comfortable to stay where you are. If you tend to have more gamble/overconfidence then you are of course less likely to be bothered by moving up into unfamiliar territory, but you need to be brutally honest with yourself when doing so to avoid a pattern of chasing and letting negative streaks spiral out of control. There are many many people out there who when on their A game are much better than me at poker but who can't sustain a poker career without imploding eventually in such a stressful game. I think you just need to be brutally honest with yourself about the reasons for any mental game struggles and go from there.

If you can find a good therapist that you like I think that is hugely beneficial for anyone, both for poker and for life in general. Most therapists obviously won't have much familiarity with poker but who knows maybe you'll get lucky, and at the minimum you can definitely give them a good overview of how poker works and the mental game aspects. Any good therapist should be able to understand and help with the emotional side of being a professional poker player even if they don't have personal experience playing poker. Personally I'd probably avoid most mental game people in poker. Most of them seem super overpriced for what you are getting in return. You might want to ask someone like bbissick though as I know he paid a bunch and worked directly with Elliot Roe I believe for awhile. I do think some of these guys probably do a fine job, I just can't imagine them being worth what they charge. And many are def just overpriced snake oil salesman.

Whatever direction you do go to work on these things I'd make sure you are confident in your commitment before spending any significant money.

^^great post.

Definitely don’t use any of these mental game coaches, complete waste of money, go to a licensed professional for a fraction of the cost, preferably one with some knowledge of careers like ours.

Im the end your journey with mental game will be like Tyman said unique to you and will be countless ups and downs. But ultimately finding out what works for you and getting better along the way is hugely rewarding and one of the best parts about our job.

This is really helpful. Thank you man. I think I am gonna go the therapy route instead of sifting through snake oil salesmen. Gonna begin due diligence asap. Been needing some therapy ev for a while.

Just wrapped up reflecting on this past year.


https://rodricwar.substack.com/p/202..._share&r=cppzm

Nice read I'll be following along

Gl this year

Early 2023 update - been shot taking aggressively in spots this year

Facing larger variance than ever before. Enjoying the mind ****s. Staying present and focusing on mindset to stay resilient.

Emphasizing high study, low play volume at high stakes online a go. Games have been promising lately.

Peak stuck was -25k online and -23k live. Luckily ran like god live to erase all live losses in one live session. Looks like that made the tide's change bc since then I've gone nuclear at 1k/2k to erase the online Ls too.

Within a snap of a few days, all the pain erased. Silly game.


First 50k downswing.

silly small amount of hands - but sometimes it gets worse and worse - when you think it can't get worse... it gets worse another 4 times.

know wut i mean??

Good luck dude, wish you best of luck. Pretty sick downswing but looking at your prior results think you have the wherewithal to grind out of it.

Are you still smoking weed by the way? Didn't catch if you were able to quit, but for me it was a super destructive and invasive habit. It's a silent killer, and although I didn't think it was a big problem, looking back quitting was the best thing I've ever done. It absolutely destroyed my dopamine receptors and my motivation.

While smoking weed, my main good habits were going to the gym and playing 1-2hours of poker/day. Now ~3 months free of weed, I find the motivation to do meditations, gym, playing+studying, training boxing, as well as other side projects.

If you are still struggling/smoking then I'd be happy to talk and say what worked for me

Love that I started following in time for the 50k upswing. Best of luck Rodric, had fun reading through the posts!!
P.S. I think weed is +EV for grinding - it just depends on habits and routine. Weed gives me energy and allows me to play longer sessions without feeling burned out personally.

Update 26 -

Haven't posted in a while. Since playing bigger, I questioned how much I should be sharing publicly. Prolly won't share much strategy things on this forum but I like the idea of checking in every couple of weeks/months just for records sake. It's really easy for me to take progress for granted and "forget" about the journey. Glossing over the last few updates was a huge reminder of this...


The last 6 months I've catapulted myself head first into arenas I've dreamt about for a long time. I've taken on a lot of risk, perhaps irresponsibly so, but I feel comfort in the fact I've trusted myself to navigate making adjustments as new information is presented. An attitude shift I'm not sure would have synced without mentorship I received. Reframing things in this way has mitigated mental leaks and fears that have limited my potential in the past. I'm less afraid of downswings because I have more trust in myself today than I did a year ago (I say this with a grain of salt bc poker's randomness has a special way of spurring doubt every now and again). The end result has been a medium improvement in resiliency and a greater willingness to shot take.

All of this is fun and dandy but the truth is, I've faced very little adversity in my first 8 sessions of shot taking live 10knl+. I'm running waaaaayyy above my true EV. Ironically, this is bitter-sweet. Sweet, because I've been extremely lucky when there's been the most money on the table (quite literally the dream of every poker player). But it's also opened a can of worms I am not currently able to fully comprehend.

What will it feel like to be on the bad end of variance when games get so big? How frustrating will it be to be stuck a lambo with no consistent high stakes action? What if you dig yourself into a hole you can't get out of because a rec goes broke and the game stops running? Should I be putting myself in a position where I'm such a victim to chance? I have my doubts.

Poker has always been cool to me - but there has always been something extra cool about doing it for the most money possible. Maybe it comes from doing something you know most people are afraid of doing. Or maybe it's rooted in the ego that comes with playing a game of wits for piles. Whatever it is, taking risks has always been alluring to me. To be financial independent, to excel at a meritocracy, to be intellectually fulfilled, to compete at a high level - I've always had this idealized and romantic view of what actualizing my poker could do for me. Ultimately it's this and this only that cures all my doubts about whether the stress that comes with navigating high stakes gambling is worth it.

I'm really grateful to have a bigger BR cushion to work with and hope to build more confidence off these experiences. But I'm also trying my best to not too get too high off this run good. It's only a matter of time until the poker gods make me feel mortal again. Until then, I hope to have a slightly wiser head on my shoulders for whatever comes my way.

Gonna be traveling a decent bit the next few weeks but then it's back to the lab