Welcome to my first blogpost (and first post ever on a pokerforum whoohoo)! I’ll be using this blog to write about all the stuff that comes to mind, poker-related or not. A place to post about the process and keep track of any achievements. Although it’s mainly meant for my family and friends so they can read up about my progress, you’re of course always welcome to read and reply. I’m always looking for new insights and advice.
Introduction
Why do I feel like I am in need of a blog like this? Let me shortly introduce myself first. I was introduced to online poker by my brother and started playing poker around 2005-2006. I was hooked from the start. It was during the time of the pokerboom and shortly after my introduction poker became a regular thing in my life. It started with playing loads of small stakes poker with my friends and during that time I also started doing the same thing online, trying to start a bankroll with shasta’s on Everest It went on like this for maybe a year or two and stakes became somewhat higher but for most of my friends it became somewhat of a boring game. So like any hype it somewhat faded …....for me and a friend or two, this was only the start!
In the meanwhile I was informed about people actually doing this as a day job. That looked amazing to me. Being your own boss, traveling the world and earning allot of money while doing so. During that time I also watched every episode of ‘high stakes poker’(See Youtube for friends and family) and those stacks of money on the table really intrigued me. This was definitely something I had to pursue! Not having a clue about what other kind of career I should choose also empowered this feeling.
So to make a long story short….. I mainly played online tournaments the following 8 years while being a student for the most part. Binked one, went broke, binked another one and went broke again and so on and so forth. I tried tournaments, sit and go’s, cashgames ….. FR, 6max and HU… NLH, PLO etc. I felt like I literally tried everything but winded up being broke. It also had a big influence on my mental state and relationship. I was very happy when I won and very down when I lost. I followed proper bankroll management most of the time, but always had major tilt issues after trying to shot a 200d+ tournament and busting in 25th, 14th, 11th etc. I felt like the unluckiest person in the world. WHY NO ONETIME? Basically looking back I was just a ****ty player that never had proper guidance, coaching or any sort of basics and having a lot of late stage blowups in tournaments. This always ended up busting my bankroll and also further savings.
At this moment, poker was ****, being a bad performing student was ****, being broke was **** and it also put allot of pressure on my girlfriend and our relationship. She couldn’t take it anymore and wanted me to quit poker. Life felt really bad and I was really down at the time. Up till now (and it still is) my whole life was kind of a mental rollercoaster. I reached out for professional help and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. I finished treatment but basically think I have to accept ‘the feeling down from time to time’ as part of who I am.
This was the moment to throw in the towel pokerwise. I had given everything. It was time to finish my study and get a regular dayjob. I didn’t have any other options left………………………..
So that was it. I quitted poker. My family was happy for me that I finally made this decision. I also felt somewhat happy and after a few months supported the decision. I kept on wondering though why I couldn’t make poker work. I knew I wasn’t the perfect player but I wasn’t that bad, was I? I certainly didn’t lack perseverance. And as far as I know this is an important character trait.
So finally an opportunity presented itself to me. Two years ago a former poker friend told me he had finished a coaching for profits program and just started playing poker professionally. He told me about his story and it had a lot of resemblance to mine. At this point I honestly thought online poker was dead, but he was very convincing about the possibilities that were still there. He also told me he was planning on working together with fellow pros and setting up a coaching for profits program themselves………………
The dream is still alive
Two months later I was playing poker again. Focusing on cashgames. This time getting coached and getting proper guidance. In 1,5 years I went from 100nl, down to 10nl, up to 200nl, back to 50nl, to 400nl before I finished the program. Now I was independent again. I finally felt like I had achieved something, I was and still am really proud of myself for carrying through. I had a bankroll and the opportunity of becoming a true poker professional. Also my family and friends fully support this, because I think they know I really want to do this.
Last year I managed to reach 2knl, moved to another country with my former coach and we had the goal of making a million this year(including crypto). Unfortunately the first two months were really hard and I had to move down in stakes again. Of course I also have to postpone the initial goal for now. I still see a lot of room for improvement in time management, money management and of course poker theory. One thing I seriously want to tackle is that after every time I have a new ‘biggest winday’ I always end up losing this and then some in the following days. That’s not good and I find this mentally exhausting. I think I unconsciously think my bankroll is inexhaustible after a big win day.
So 1st note to myself: set stop loss for the following day and/or take a day off.
2nd get back to a normal sleeping rhythm.
3rd Due to a lack of self-confidence at the moment I now play as low as 200nl. For now I see 500nl as my main stake. Planning to focus mainly on theory and starting to move up little by little again the upcoming days/weeks.
4th Post an update weekly.
I've decided that the day of my initial post is the day of me resetting myself and beginning with a fresh start. I'll be somewhat on the carefull side with my bankroll, but willing to take some higher shots from time to time.
Also does anyone know if I can edit my original post? I would like to edit it weekly to have a good overview of profits.
I'll focus on normal ring games and play hu when I see a good spot. The last two days I've been playing/studying in a 50/50 ratio and I feel really confident again. The plan is to study a bit less and play a bit more for now and when my confidence get lower I'll switch back to the 50/50 ratio.
I'm trying to observe my own routine and wrong patterns in them so I can try to breach them. The last couple of days I've mainly played 200nl, some 500nl and even a 1000nl session. I'm happy with the results, but I should be able to be more solid in playing my A-game. I'm still 'spewing' and playing to fancy in in too many spots unnecessarily. Outside of this I feel really good about my still growing learning curve. It's all about putting it into practise for now. The plan for combatting the spewing/fancyplay is by reviewing these spots and making it more of a unconscious competence. Just have a solid and simplistic approach.
Furthermore, yesterday I've studied two hours and played another three. After this I felt somewhat bored and played some 100nl hu and started of playing really solid and winning some. An hour later I ended up being down a lot by playing some deepstacked spots horrendous. <-- Big issue here. Eventually I grinded some back and called it a day. So this is basically just 3 hours of play where I waist my own time.
To sum this all up----->>>> I HAVE ISSUES!
-Stop spewy/fancy plays
-Stop reg batteling hu/ spewy deepstack
I know these 'leaks' I talk about aren't really specific, but they eat up al lot of my hourly, so this is basically where I need to improve on for now.
Weekly review:
Played mostly 200nl. I gained some confidence again, but I constantly feel unsatisfied with myself. Probably setting the bar to high that creates false expectations.
Overall, played a few good sessions. Trying to increase the number of hours I play for upcoming week.
Weekly review:
Played 200nl and 400nl. Pokerlife really sucks at this moment. I'm really struggelng this whole year and I don't know why. Did a lot of reviews of my game, but can't seem to have a decent week/month. For everyone interested I'm playing on the chinese based apps. Had a lot of succes there, but for some reason things aren't working out right now. Will be playing some more on normal € sites. Also ordered a high spec pc to be able to use a hud on the chinese apps.
Weekly review:
Untill my new pc arrives I'll stick to playing low stakes zoom on € sites. Very happy with the results although it's only a small profit. I feel like I've learned a lot from the last couple of months and therefore don't mind playing lower than I can handle with my bankroll. It makes me feel very positive to have control in the games and looking to continue this in the more higher stakes. We'll see how it goes.
