You’ve never heard my mother yakking on the phone to her friends and relatives.

can confirm Dluo is real. Dluo is my house mate. AMA begins

We need dat 20k now, Dluo. LFG

Make it 40k, OP's got two families to feed now.

I've never had any social anxiety but this thread isn't about me.

Late night pub poker

So these past 2 days, I spent a bit of time with my wife, as she had some time off work. We did a bit of grocery shopping together, went to the movies, and a few other wholesome activities like that, none of which involved drinking or gambling.

After I dropped her off at home today, I decided to mix things up a bit and instead of going to the casino, I headed out to the suburbs to play some good old fashioned pub poker. There were 2 tourneys running at this venue: a $15 tourney starting at 9:30pm and a $25 tourney starting at midnight.

I posted in our group chat offering to sell 50% of my action at no markup, but in return, whoever bought my action also had to pay 50% of my drinks as well. Only one person took me up on this offer: DLuo.

So I arrive at the pub, order a beer, sit down and start the grind. Initially, things are going well: I build up a big stack early and before I know it, I'm on the final table. Only 9 players remain out of 30 total, and I have an average stack. Soon 2 more guys bust and we're down to 7 left, with top 3 getting paid.

But here's the unusual thing: so 5 of the 7 players remaining are women. They start talking trash about how women are better poker players and how they really want us 2 guys to bust. Well, sure enough: it happens: I lose a flip and come 6th, whilst the other guy comes 5th.

When it's down to the final 2 players, the woman with a short stack asks the woman with a big stack to chop the remaining prize pool and she instantly accepts, despite having at least a 2:1 chip lead. I cringed so hard watching that.

So the midnight tourney starts with 21 runners, I grab another drink and pretty quickly, I get into a big pot. The blinds are 100/200, we all have our 50k starting stacks, and I manage to raise pre, bet flop and jam turn multiway on something like an A762 two-tone board. This old woman calls off her 250bb stack against me and shows A9o vs my ATo and I knock her out.

Then she starts loudly talking to her friend about the hand. "Quickest I've ever been knocked out" she says. "This young fella's been jamming with Ace rag" she says, referring to the previous tournament when I jammed in late position many times with <10bb effective stacks.

So right from the start, I'm chip leader, and I maintain this the entire time, up until the final 3 players left. I'm playing a very standard tourney strategy, making normal Nash jams, but everyone thinks I'm a complete spastic because they've never seen this before. Everyone has a vendetta against me and wants to stack me.

On the final table, people start talking about wanting a deal, but I refuse every time. Like they want to say "let's all take $100 out of the prize pool and play for the rest", but since I'm chip leader and I have a big skill edge, it makes no sense for me to give up my EV like that. That just makes the vendetta even stronger, and people really want me to bust.

A random example of a hand when we were 3-handed, just to show you guys how it played: BTN folds, SB limps in with 99, hero jams 8bbs in BB with T7o, SB folds. That's how nitty people were at first.

Until one of those nits decided that "spades have been coming up a lot" and called my 12bb jam with 85ss when I had K3cc and sadly he rivered a straight. So I busted 3rd for $90 and everyone started cheering at me going out. The remaining 2 players chopped the remaining $410 prize pool in exactly half, despite their stacks being uneven, and we were finished at 3am.

So in terms of profit, I only actually made about $18 profit for me and $18 for DLuo, after the cost of the drinks, but I had fun and it was a great way to unwind and not have to play for such big amounts all the time.

My wife works morning shift today so I'm staying awake long enough to drive her to work at 5am, then going to strategically line up outside the supermarket at 6am, just when it opens, to buy some toilet paper. Too many crazy people in Australia have been panic buying excessive amounts of toilet paper and the shelves are always empty, so I figure this is the best time to go get them. Then I can sleep around 6:30am.

Impressive. Keep us posted about the toilet paper.

Even if this story is 100% real, having DL show up at this part of the thread feels 100% fake.

Lmao

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DLuo Ex Machina

My favorite part of the story is shoving trash against people desperate to call you.

Also LOL at "standard Nash shoves" in pub poker.

Dluo and the CEO guy are back! Let's go! Confirmed professional pub poker player on top of being a phone poker pro?

I love this thread.

“Professional” poker player.


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LOL @ needing to unwind from months of hardcore NEET-ing.

Yep I successfully got it. About 20 people lined up outside Woolies at 6am and as soon as they opened the doors, we all walked together to the toilet paper aisle, without saying a word.

It was oddly... exciting?

playing for 50% of a $15 and $25 pub tournament seems like one of the worst uses of your time when you have like a couple weeks left until you go broke if you don't make any money

Yup. Priceless use of time.

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Don't forget OP!

It's the journey that matters, not the destination.
Had the journey not been hilarious, noone would be following this thread and the destination has been a given since day 3 anyway.

So keep up the 'hard' work!

The only thing 6bet did wrong with that pub tourney is play it at all when he's got better things to do with his time. But I know the feels, the avoidant behavior and procrastination are all too familar.

Yeah, it sucks when people start collectively rooting against you. I know exactly the kind of players you're up against. The ones who remain tight even when stacks are short. It is an absolute goldmine of a situation to be in. In these tournaments it is great to give up in a lot of marginal spots and absolutely slaughter the end game. Don't let the haters get to you.

Jamming AT with 250BBs on turn is not good though. You could have easily have run into a higher ace or two pair+ especially being multiway. Even if you have an edge there, it is too marginal because your edge in the end game will be so much better.

Delaying a fear

I want to start with a story: when I was in year 10, I was learning about the Holocaust in history class, and we had to watch a documentary where Jews were being forced at gunpoint to literally dig their own graves, and then go inside the grave and lie down, so that the Nazis could shoot them without putting any effort in.

I asked my teacher "that doesn't make sense. If they knew that they were going to die anyway, why dig the grave? Why not fight back or run away?" And my teacher replied "it's human nature to try to delay bad things from happening for as long as possible."

Venice's post really struck a chord with me, because it made me realise that I, too, am guilty of behaving in this way: of metaphorically digging my own grave, because I'm trying to delay a bad thing from happening for as long as possible (fear of going busto):

Now, there was 1 rational reason for me delaying putting volume in at the casino: tomorrow is my birthday and I had a fear of going busto immediately before then. Like your birthday is supposed to be a happy day when you celebrate the fact that you were born, so I didn't want to spend my birthday sulking at all the money I'd lost a few days prior.

The reality is though that these special events are always going to show up. There's always going to be a birthday, an anniversary, a family event, a holiday, etc. Instead of avoiding volume before these big events, in fear of spending these days in misery, I should train myself not to get so emotional over these wins and losses in the first place. I should train myself not to care so much.

If I bust, then so what? I'm not going to starve to death, end up homeless or lose access to medical care. I still have plenty of safety nets in place. So I need to just stop fearing the simple reality that I might go busto soon, due to variance beyond my control. I need to just play and not think about it.

I want to be like the Jew that makes a run for it, knowing there's a 99.9% chance he'll die, rather than the Jew who digs his own grave, knowing that there's a 100% chance he'll die. And this is easier said than done, but I'm going to try my best.

I love you because your takeaway of all of this is that you should blow your money faster.

Application count in the last week? Got any interviews lined up?

Why not treat you and your wife to another financially savvy dinner for your birthday?

That's a bad way of thinking about it. If I'm +EV then I'm never really blowing any money away.

None. Haven't made any applications for weeks. I need to fix my sleeping pattern before I can start applying, but since my wife has a few morning shifts in a row, I can't fix it yet because I need to stay up until 5am each day to drive her to work.

Yeah we'll probably do that. We're definitely going to do something, but I'll try to keep it reasonably priced.

But wait, two weeks ago I asked you how you were applying to jobs when you woke up at 4pm and you said

So why didn't you fix your sleeping patter and start waking up at 4:30am again so that you can drive your wife and then apply for jobs? Why did you say that you might not need to fix it and still not apply to jobs? Have you accomplished your stated goal of applying for jobs for 8 hours a day even once since you made that goal?