Hey guys!

Finland here

This is my third (and hopefully final) thread in the PG&C section. This time around I won't lose control and get myself banned once more.

The last 3 months have been pretty crazy for me. Towards the end of my crazy drug abuse 2-year-long trip, I was into the hardest stuff that's out there; crystal meth, opiates, coke, speed, weed to name a few. If it existed and it could enter the bloodstream, I had it in my stash. The only substance I didn't use was alcohol, essentially.

I took magic mushrooms despite the danger of that act and during the high, the root of my thoughts got totally erased and I started thinking that the whole world - 8 billion people, heard every single one of my thoughts (except intimate ones and stuff like passwords and poker cards). A few days later, I took the equivalent of 20 MDMA pills at once and flew to the moon. During this psychosis (my 5th ahd most intense one), my thought patterns turned absolutely insane. I thought I was the last "Heavenbound" on Earth.

Long story short, I thought that the whole world wished me eternal flames in Hell and, dragged in a crazed madness, I punched a woman in her 20s in the back of the head at a metro station near my apartment, after having had walked all night (carrying with my guitar amplifier)

Prison for 2 weeks. Guy submerges my cell with the mop water. I get into beef with literally everyone in the wing. Not fun. Still psychotic to the bone (w/ the telepathy delirium.)

Went in observation for mental health evaluation at the highest security psychiatric complex of the province for 16 days. Got declared non-criminally responsible for my act, for cause of mental illness (toxic psychosis).

Then got transferred to the mental hospital that was the closest to my home, where I stayed for more than a month (until May 23rd). I was awaiting my audience with the TAQ (the "psychiatric court").

During that time, I wrote a collection of 60 poems, half in English and half in French, some of which are 2 pages long. Here's one of them:

As history unfolds

Delightful at first glance
Unquestioned superiority of self
A never-ending trance
Trading freedom for wealth

Attractive authority
Appealing supremacy
Coup de grâce
You made the laws

Deviate slightly from what is optimal
And end up caged like an animal
A passage on Earth dedicated to raping souls
Exist solely to play a role

A lifetime of hatred, passionately constructed
Trapped by your own vile ways – imprisoned
Trying to decipher what your future holds
As history unfolds

Hope you liked it

Met some interesting people at my unit, like an 18 year old Salvadorian boy who only spoke Spanish, lol. The kid regularly poured alcohol-based hand sanitizer in his water bottle until he got completely drunk.

On the 23rd of May, the tribunal decided to release me (as opposed to keeping me locked up for one more year) with myself promising that I would remain sober for the rest of my life. I hadn't used since February 4th.

However I relapsed 4 days ago on stimulant drugs. Spent 800$ on coke in this time frame. Feel absolutely terrible about this tbh - if my parents, who support me 100% in everything I go through, knew about my relapse, they would be in tears.

Poker-wise, I'm aiming for 100k hands/month until the end of 2020. If I maintain a winrate of at least 4bb/100, I'll have 32k USD$ in my PokerStars account at the end of the year. I think that goal is reasonable, given that for the entirety of my lifetime road at 200z (1m hands), I withstood a winrate of 2bb/100 - that is, despite the drug abuse during my playtime.

Gonna try to post HH's everyday to keep you guys updated on my progress.

HAIL! \m/

In b4 ban

You never learn, it's not funny anymore man

:/

Sounds like you have an image as yourself as a heavy drug user and as long as you have this perception your actions will continue to be consistent with it regardless of all the will power and therapy in the world. Read Psycho-Cybernetics you'll find it fascinating and it will help with the drugs.. did for me anyway. (Buy the original version not updated one btw)

Really enjoyed the poem it's brilliant. Good luck with challenge

Went on a drug binge! punched an innocent girl in her 20s at the metro! Went into observation for mental health evaluation! Got declared non-criminally responsible because **** it mental illness is a better defense than religion now...Can however perfectly summarize all events, what a ****ing world we live in.

Here are some hands that I found interesting to mark since I started playing again:

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): 1068.13 BB
SB: 53.62 BB
BB: 131.83 BB
UTG: 122.3 BB
MP: 77.72 BB
CO: 122.54 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 7 5

fold, MP raises to 2.5 BB, fold, Hero calls 2.5 BB, fold, fold

Flop: (6.5 BB, 2 players) 8 2 6
MP bets 4.12 BB, Hero calls 4.12 BB

Turn: (14.74 BB, 2 players) 2
MP bets 9.33 BB, Hero calls 9.33 BB

River: (33.4 BB, 2 players) 9
MP bets 21.15 BB, Hero raises to 1052.18 BB and is all-in, MP calls 40.62 BB and is all-in

Hero shows 7 5 (Straight, Nine High)
(Pre 34%, Flop 63%, Turn 41%)
MP shows 5 A (One Pair, Twos)
(Pre 66%, Flop 37%, Turn 59%)
Hero wins 154.44 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 60.6 BB
Hero (SB): 434.65 BB
BB: 101.3 BB
UTG: 153.04 BB
MP: 62.87 BB
CO: 115.66 BB

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 6 6

UTG raises to 2.5 BB, MP calls 2.5 BB, fold, fold, Hero calls 2 BB, BB calls 1.5 BB

Flop: (10 BB, 4 players) 5 A 6
Hero checks, BB checks, UTG checks, MP checks

Turn: (10 BB, 4 players) K
Hero bets 6.33 BB, fold, fold, MP calls 6.33 BB

River: (22.66 BB, 2 players) 8
Hero bets 13 BB, MP raises to 54.04 BB and is all-in, Hero calls 41.04 BB

MP shows J A (One Pair, Aces)
(Pre 46%, Flop 2%, Turn 0%)
Hero shows 6 6 (Three of a Kind, Sixes)
(Pre 54%, Flop 98%, Turn 100%)
Hero wins 128.24 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 118.98 BB
Hero (SB): 378.46 BB
BB: 131.01 BB
UTG: 103.47 BB
MP: 257.15 BB
CO: 111.92 BB

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has A A

fold, fold, fold, fold, Hero raises to 3 BB, BB calls 2 BB

Flop: (6 BB, 2 players) Q 9 J
Hero bets 3.8 BB, BB calls 3.8 BB

Turn: (13.6 BB, 2 players) J
Hero checks, BB bets 12.92 BB, Hero calls 12.92 BB

River: (39.44 BB, 2 players) 4
Hero checks, BB bets 37.47 BB, Hero calls 37.47 BB

BB shows T 6 (One Pair, Jacks)
(Pre 14%, Flop 32%, Turn 18%)
Hero shows A A (Two Pair, Aces and Jacks)
(Pre 86%, Flop 68%, Turn 82%)
Hero wins 111.88 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 107.6 BB
SB: 122.58 BB
BB: 100 BB
UTG: 116.91 BB
Hero (MP): 255.51 BB
CO: 57.33 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 5 A

UTG calls 1 BB, Hero raises to 4 BB, fold, BTN calls 4 BB, fold, fold, UTG calls 3 BB

Flop: (13.5 BB, 3 players) 4 5 6
UTG checks, Hero checks, BTN bets 6.41 BB, fold, Hero calls 6.41 BB

Turn: (26.32 BB, 2 players) K
Hero checks, BTN bets 10 BB, Hero calls 10 BB

River: (46.32 BB, 2 players) 8
Hero bets 35 BB, fold

Hero wins 44 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): 698.15 BB
SB: 63.14 BB
BB: 113.6 BB
UTG: 170.19 BB
MP: 170.37 BB
CO: 100 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has J K

fold, fold, fold, Hero raises to 2.5 BB, fold, BB raises to 11.5 BB, Hero calls 9 BB

Flop: (23.5 BB, 2 players) 6 Q T
BB bets 3.35 BB, Hero calls 3.35 BB

Turn: (30.2 BB, 2 players) 4
BB checks, Hero bets 22 BB, BB calls 22 BB

River: (74.2 BB, 2 players) 8
BB checks, Hero bets 58 BB, fold

Hero wins 71.7 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): 732.9 BB
SB: 160.01 BB
BB: 154.39 BB
UTG: 158.9 BB
MP: 137.83 BB
CO: 180.83 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 7 7

fold, fold, fold, Hero raises to 2.5 BB, SB raises to 11 BB, fold, Hero calls 8.5 BB

Flop: (23 BB, 2 players) 3 T J
SB bets 8 BB, Hero calls 8 BB

Turn: (39 BB, 2 players) 8
SB bets 18 BB, Hero calls 18 BB

River: (75 BB, 2 players) K
SB checks, Hero bets 695.9 BB and is all-in, fold

Hero wins 72.5 BB

Also forgot to mention in the intro but I stream often on twitch.tv/finland22 nowadays

Catch me there if your heart tells you so!^^

wow. hell of an intro. GL?

Thanks

In4the show and honestly hope that you can stabilize yourself so you dont hurt yourself or others again in the future.

Too bad, was hoping to see some progress for you Finland.

Unfortunately, sounds like you still think that talking about how many drugs you do, or the stuff you’ve done while you’re high, is cool.

Hate to break it to you, but to anyone who’s been around the block your story is a tired one. I’ve literally heard it hundreds of times, lived it myself for a lot of years, bla bla. Actually was just laughing the other day w my fiancée about how I sure don’t miss having to drink hand sani in the mornings, funny u mentioned that specifically.

Some free wisdom: addicts don’t grow up, they are stuck in their immaturity until they get sober. So, like a 6 year old does, you keep trying to act out to get attention - “Look at the crazy **** I’ve done! Look at all the hard drugs I’ve done!”

I’m embarrassed for you that you keep coming in here trying to start over. I know why you always come back. You want an audience.

In real life, people are tired of your story. You’re not crazy. You’re not scary. The amount of drugs you take is the same as any other addict. Go into any NA meeting trying to impress them with this story and you’ll get laughed out. You’re just another addict bud.

You’re taking the easy way out. Most addicts do the same, then they die. Unfortunately that’s just the way this goes unless you get sober. I know so many dead kids who acted just like you do.

It’s hard to stay sober, it takes work. There’s no shortcut, no skipping out, no saying “**** it”. That’s why addicts can’t do it. It’s a lot easier to say **** it than it is to show up every day.

But then it gets easier, and life gets better, it keeps getting better. Better than you could have ever imagined, actually!

Hope you get to find that out someday.

**You’re a good poker player, I hope you put your focus into that and other healthy stuff.

GL to you Finland

+1 to that entire post. I didn't make it past the second paragraph in your OP because I don't care about your drug use because it's not interesting but your poker's fun to look at and I'd bet the majority feel the same.

Excellent post

probably one of best posts i Seen on this forum in years

Good luck OP. Go easy on the uppers.

Thanks for your post, Oladipo.

You're right, I like having a an audience that follows me and that's genuinely interested in my poker journey.

However I'm not proud of my drug abuse but decided to include my short-term history in my blog because it's the recent unfolding of what I've been up to. I don't claim it's more interesting than anyone else's story, but if I left it out I would've felt like I would be dishonest.

More hands that I marked (btw I made a mistake in the thread title - 8x 4k$ is 32k and not 28k silly me, lol)

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 121.44 BB
SB: 335.77 BB
Hero (BB): 218.17 BB
UTG: 142.09 BB
MP: 100 BB
CO: 99 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, Hero posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 2 5

fold, fold, CO raises to 2.2 BB, BTN calls 2.2 BB, SB calls 1.7 BB, Hero calls 1.2 BB

Flop: (8.8 BB, 4 players) K 2 8
SB checks, Hero checks, CO bets 3 BB, fold, fold, Hero calls 3 BB

Turn: (14.8 BB, 2 players) 9
Hero checks, CO checks

River: (14.8 BB, 2 players) J
Hero bets 2 BB, fold

Hero wins 14.06 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 166.6 BB
SB: 334.31 BB
BB: 100 BB
Hero (UTG): 239.4 BB
MP: 132.85 BB
CO: 182.58 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has A T

Hero raises to 2.5 BB, fold, fold, fold, fold, BB raises to 9.25 BB, Hero calls 6.75 BB

Flop: (19 BB, 2 players) K 6 A
BB bets 5.96 BB, Hero calls 5.96 BB

Turn: (30.92 BB, 2 players) 9
BB bets 21 BB, Hero calls 21 BB

River: (72.92 BB, 2 players) T
BB checks, Hero checks

BB shows J Q (Straight, Ace High)
(Pre 40%, Flop 13%, Turn 7%)
Hero mucks A T (Two Pair, Aces and Tens)
(Pre 60%, Flop 87%, Turn 93%)
BB wins 70.42 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 100.85 BB
SB: 224.69 BB
Hero (BB): 177.34 BB
UTG: 112.83 BB
MP: 168.81 BB
CO: 51.64 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, Hero posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 6 T

fold, fold, fold, BTN raises to 2.1 BB, fold, Hero calls 1.1 BB

Flop: (4.7 BB, 2 players) A 8 7
Hero checks, BTN bets 1.47 BB, Hero raises to 6 BB, BTN calls 4.53 BB

Turn: (16.7 BB, 2 players) 6
Hero bets 19.83 BB, BTN calls 19.83 BB

River: (56.36 BB, 2 players) 3
Hero bets 39 BB, fold

Hero wins 53.86 BB

PokerStars - $2 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 98 BB
SB: 92.5 BB
Hero (BB): 119.95 BB
UTG: 181.78 BB
MP: 139.37 BB
CO: 133.48 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, Hero posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has Q A

fold, fold, CO raises to 2.5 BB, fold, fold, Hero raises to 11 BB, CO calls 8.5 BB

Flop: (22.5 BB, 2 players) A 5 5
Hero bets 7.06 BB, CO calls 7.06 BB

Turn: (36.61 BB, 2 players) 2
Hero checks, CO checks

River: (36.61 BB, 2 players) 3
Hero bets 23.49 BB, CO calls 23.49 BB

Hero shows Q A (Two Pair, Aces and Fives)
(Pre 48%, Flop 92%, Turn 95%)
CO mucks 8 8 (Two Pair, Eights and Fives)
(Pre 52%, Flop 8%, Turn 5%)
Hero wins 82.22 BB

Here is my graph since I started playing (around the 1st of May and a few days before as well)

I had a -1800$ session @ 200z, won't take a shot there until I have at least 10k for bankroll.

PS it's my birthday today!

Happy bday Finland

Where did your BR go? A while back you sent me a pic of having like 25k on PS.

Thanks ZKesic!

At the beginning of 2019 I had 47k USD for roll, but I spent about 20k on drugs in that year and only had 9k winnings too. Now my roll is @ 5k.

Here is the last couple of hands that I marked since my return:
PokerStars - $2 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 100 BB
Hero (SB): 154.13 BB
BB: 147.74 BB
UTG: 118.98 BB
MP: 101.5 BB
CO: 105.21 BB

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has T K

fold, fold, fold, BTN raises to 2.5 BB, Hero raises to 10 BB, fold, BTN calls 7.5 BB

Flop: (21 BB, 2 players) 4 Q 8
Hero bets 6.59 BB, BTN calls 6.59 BB

Turn: (34.17 BB, 2 players) Q
Hero bets 16 BB, fold

Hero wins 32.8 BB

200z hand vs rec
PokerStars - $2 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 91.75 BB
SB: 119.03 BB
BB: 46.02 BB
UTG: 113.54 BB
MP: 117.43 BB
Hero (CO): 100 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 9 9

fold, fold, Hero raises to 2.5 BB, BTN raises to 9 BB, fold, fold, Hero calls 6.5 BB

Flop: (19.5 BB, 2 players) 4 7 T
Hero checks, BTN checks

Turn: (19.5 BB, 2 players) Q
Hero checks, BTN checks

River: (19.5 BB, 2 players) 4
Hero bets 6.12 BB, BTN raises to 21.5 BB, Hero calls 15.38 BB

BTN shows 7 K (Two Pair, Sevens and Fours)
(Pre 32%, Flop 13%, Turn 9%)
Hero shows 9 9 (Two Pair, Nines and Fours)
(Pre 68%, Flop 87%, Turn 91%)
Hero wins 61.12 BB

vs nitfish
PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 104.24 BB
Hero (SB): 125.03 BB
BB: 100 BB
UTG: 47.66 BB
MP: 272.57 BB
CO: 104.13 BB

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 3 3

fold, MP raises to 2 BB, fold, BTN calls 2 BB, Hero calls 1.5 BB, fold

Flop: (7 BB, 3 players) K K A
Hero checks, MP checks, BTN checks

Turn: (7 BB, 3 players) 8
Hero checks, MP checks, BTN checks

River: (7 BB, 3 players) 3
Hero bets 2.19 BB, MP raises to 15.86 BB, fold, Hero calls 13.67 BB

MP shows K A (Full House, Kings full of Aces)
(Pre 47%, Flop 99.9%, Turn 100%)
Hero mucks 3 3 (Full House, Threes full of Kings)
(Pre 53%, Flop 0.1%, Turn 0%)
MP wins 36.78 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 100.5 BB
SB: 100.5 BB
BB: 122.33 BB
UTG: 210.99 BB
MP: 118.24 BB
Hero (CO): 196.39 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has J Q

UTG raises to 3 BB, fold, Hero calls 3 BB, fold, fold, BB raises to 14 BB, fold, Hero calls 11 BB

Flop: (31.5 BB, 2 players) J 5 7
BB bets 14.96 BB, Hero calls 14.96 BB

Turn: (61.42 BB, 2 players) 9
BB bets 44.19 BB, Hero calls 44.19 BB

River: (149.8 BB, 2 players) 9
BB bets 49.18 BB and is all-in, Hero calls 49.18 BB

BB shows T T (Two Pair, Tens and Nines)
(Pre 53%, Flop 15%, Turn 14%)
Hero shows J Q (Two Pair, Jacks and Nines)
(Pre 47%, Flop 85%, Turn 86%)
Hero wins 245.66 BB

Here, vs reg, I feel like his bluffs OTT choose to mostly bet and not xr, given the playerpool tendencies at lowstakes zoom. My read was good OTR.
PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 161.43 BB
SB: 40.96 BB
BB: 329.03 BB
Hero (UTG): 168.46 BB
MP: 73.34 BB
CO: 104.8 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has J Q

Hero raises to 2.5 BB, fold, fold, BTN calls 2.5 BB, fold, BB calls 1.5 BB

Flop: (8 BB, 3 players) 4 5 K
BB checks, Hero checks, BTN checks

Turn: (8 BB, 3 players) T
BB checks, Hero bets 3.8 BB, fold, BB raises to 15.2 BB, Hero calls 11.4 BB

River: (38.4 BB, 2 players) 3
BB checks, Hero checks

BB shows T K (Two Pair, Kings and Tens)
(Pre 56%, Flop 96%, Turn 82%)
Hero mucks J Q (High Card, King)
(Pre 44%, Flop 4%, Turn 18%)
BB wins 36.48 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 100 BB
Hero (SB): 243.51 BB
BB: 50 BB
UTG: 106.43 BB
MP: 161.88 BB
CO: 172.15 BB

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has Q K

fold, fold, fold, BTN raises to 2.49 BB, Hero raises to 10 BB, fold, BTN calls 7.51 BB

Flop: (21 BB, 2 players) A J 2
Hero bets 6.58 BB, BTN calls 6.58 BB

Turn: (34.16 BB, 2 players) A
Hero bets 23 BB, fold

Hero wins 32.45 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

Hero (BTN): 160.24 BB
SB: 139.82 BB
BB: 106.7 BB
UTG: 140.63 BB
MP: 170.19 BB
CO: 110.29 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has 8 7

fold, MP raises to 3 BB, fold, Hero raises to 9 BB, fold, fold, MP calls 6 BB

Flop: (19.5 BB, 2 players) 6 9 7
MP checks, Hero checks

Turn: (19.5 BB, 2 players) 4
MP bets 9.26 BB, Hero calls 9.26 BB

River: (38.02 BB, 2 players) 5
MP checks, Hero bets 28 BB, MP raises to 74.06 BB, Hero calls 46.06 BB

MP shows A 5 (One Pair, Fives)
(Pre 55%, Flop 26%, Turn 39%)
Hero shows 8 7 (Straight, Nine High)
(Pre 45%, Flop 74%, Turn 61%)
Hero wins 183.64 BB

-------------------------------------------

Here. All of my marked hands within the 50k hands sample that I played (in about 10 days)

Had a crazy -10 buyins session after a perpetual bad run every last sessions or so.

Here's a few hands I marked

I shouldn't have called the riv, but really.. wtf
PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 314.31 BB
Hero (SB): 512.77 BB
BB: 104.48 BB
UTG: 253.93 BB
MP: 100.82 BB
CO: 95.1 BB

Hero posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has A A

fold, fold, fold, fold, Hero raises to 3 BB, BB calls 2 BB

Flop: (6 BB, 2 players) A 8 7
Hero checks, BB checks

Turn: (6 BB, 2 players) 7
Hero checks, BB bets 5.7 BB, Hero calls 5.7 BB

River: (17.4 BB, 2 players) 7
Hero checks, BB bets 95.78 BB and is all-in, Hero calls 95.78 BB

BB shows T 7 (Four of a Kind, Sevens)
(Pre 19%, Flop 3%, Turn 2%)
Hero shows A A (Full House, Aces full of Sevens)
(Pre 81%, Flop 97%, Turn 98%)
BB wins 206.46 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 63.4 BB
SB: 249.28 BB
BB: 192.33 BB
UTG: 102.79 BB
Hero (MP): 201.68 BB
CO: 107.73 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has J A

fold, Hero raises to 2.5 BB, CO raises to 16 BB, fold, fold, fold, Hero raises to 201.68 BB and is all-in, CO calls 91.73 BB and is all-in

Flop: (216.96 BB, 2 players) Q 2 Q

Turn: (216.96 BB, 2 players) K

River: (216.96 BB, 2 players) 2

Hero shows J A (Two Pair, Queens and Twos)
(Pre 68%, Flop 75%, Turn 63%)
CO shows 7 A (Flush, Ace High)
(Pre 32%, Flop 25%, Turn 38%)
CO wins 214.46 BB

PokerStars - $1 NL FAST (6 max) - Holdem - 6 players
Hand converted by PokerTracker 4

BTN: 543.12 BB
SB: 124.5 BB
BB: 282.98 BB
UTG: 88.97 BB
MP: 345.56 BB
Hero (CO): 268.52 BB

SB posts SB 0.5 BB, BB posts BB 1 BB

Pre Flop: (pot: 1.5 BB) Hero has J J

fold, fold, Hero raises to 2.5 BB, BTN raises to 8 BB, fold, BB raises to 24 BB, Hero calls 21.5 BB, fold

Flop: (56.5 BB, 2 players) 7 6 9
BB bets 30 BB, Hero calls 30 BB

Turn: (116.5 BB, 2 players) 4
BB bets 80 BB, Hero calls 80 BB

River: (276.5 BB, 2 players) 4
BB bets 148.98 BB and is all-in, Hero calls 134.52 BB and is all-in

BB shows K A (One Pair, Fours)
(Pre 43%, Flop 25%, Turn 14%)
Hero shows J J (Two Pair, Jacks and Fours)
(Pre 57%, Flop 75%, Turn 86%)
Hero wins 543.04 BB

Hey guys, haven't updated because I lost all my motivation to play while high and decided to take a break.

Now I've sobered up again, I don't like the lifestyle that comes with using - depression, inactivity and boredom

Will post some hands for today's session

Here is the graph since I started playing (about April 20th)

Sad to hear you are still getting high after reading what you went through and what you did in OP?

Best of luck on your journey and hope you can turn your life around mate

Thanks man