As I am continuing on my journey that's still mainly me playing poker and preparing for my mental game coaching business, I am stumbling upon little riddles that I always thought I had sort of solved... like what's EV and how is it generated? This deserves 2-3 posts in the upcoming weeks. If you keep reading the posts in this EV series, you will be invited to meditate on the following thoughts with me:

• EV isn't a thing that you can grasp, it's more of a blurry picture that you'd work on if you want to (is that true?). It has a LOT to do with the bigger picture, and very little with the spot at hand. Each stroke of the brush matters, though, as you know because that's how you'd paint: You'd be very aware of each stroke of that brush.
  
• EV is generated by things that are solely collective hallucinations, as your precise actions at the tables may be at best misleading and at worst leading you totally astray, if that's what you focus on too much.
  
• EV is best dwelt upon in an altered state. It helps to hallucinate comfortably while you're feeling good.
  
• EV is something like the building that is your game (and what is that?) that's solid no matter where you prod and poke it, and somehow that solidity is worth money.
  
• EV is NOT measurable precisely, and it's not objective. It's a pattern like a tapestry, and what exactly are you doing with that anyway? But you know that you need it, and that you really need to keep working on it, so if you're smart that's what you do continuously.

You could create a couple of exercises for yourself:
Begin by opening up a precise spot.

1) How do I believe EV is generated in this spot?
2) How am I trying to generate EV in this spot?
3) Do those two match precisely? If not, adjust accordingly RIGHT AWAY.
4) What's the smallest step that I could take to generate a little more EV in this spot?
5) What spots is this spot like?

Is this worth pursuing? I am not sure. But I certainly think that dwelling on how exactly EV is generated and how it is generated by YOU is very useful, so let's take this a couple of places in the upcoming weeks!

I took my own advice and looked at a precise spot. It was very very helpful. I'll share it with you guys tomorrow in addition to my weekly recap.

So how do you generate EV?
In chess, there's a saying that goes something like: "It's not the move that matters, it's the plan behind it." In poker, I've sort of forgotten that through my focus on solvers and game-theory optimal play.

So how does a plan help me generate EV?

Board: J934

Hand(hero): KKQ5
Range(Villain): BBvBU calling range

Action: I raise pre, villain calls. He checks, I check. He leads turn.

Plan1:

Call if I hit one of my four pretty clean outs. Fold if I don't.

Plan2:

Requirements: Rudimentary outline of a villain's hand range
Call if I hit one of my four pretty clean outs and if the river card doesn't improve most of his drawing hands.

Plan3:

Requirements: Rudimentary outline of a villain's hand range and understanding of his tendencies
Call if I hit one of my four pretty clean outs and if the river card doesn't improve most of his drawing hands. Also consider a call if I hit those dirty K and T. Bluff raise those 3 Q's.

So how is EV generated in this spot or asked differently, how rich is my hand in terms of options that I can utilize to maximum effect? Can I use my hand as a bluff catcher on those river cards that he'll bluff? Can I use it as one of the best value bets and raises exactly on those rivers that he's going to check call or bet a lot on? Can I improve to something mediocre exactly when he's going to play rather weakly? Can I get to showdown exactly when I wouldn't call a bet? Is my type of hand the type of hand that he'll play weakly against? When my hand range looks like random mediocre flush draws, dry QQ-AA, QT9 and KQJ type hands, then is he incentivized to start bluffing in the first place? Or to flip that around, is he going to pick the best of mediocre options with a lot of his hands that simply throw in a bet? There are several scenario's where, based on either my range on his range, he'll decide to do what's good for me, even knowing it to some degree, but doing it anyway because there are so many unknown factors, and there's always the chance of hitting something.

Notice that all three plans need cooperation. Plan 1 works well against a weak and face-up villain who's savvy enough to semi bluff the turn with mediocre draws. It may even work against a villain who's not savvy enough to bet many draws, but who value bets well, because then on 3 3's and 2 4's the river is going to go check check and he'll show J9, but if the river is a T or a K he'll likely help me generate some good implied odds for myself.

The second plan also needs him to bet the turn with some mediocre drawing hands in addition to his value bets, but it also allows for him to not be weak on the river. He might be weak, but not weak enough, or he might be tough, either because he realizes my hand range is weak, or because he realizes that he can value bet wide, or because he realizes that he needs to bluff, and maybe he realizes too that on that river 5 (for example) some draws got there, so why not give it a try? In this way you realize that there are many scenario's that justify him putting in some river bluffs.

The third plan accounts for the fact that he might stab on the turn with some even weaker hands, like A45 or A56, and that I might call him on a Q river with AQJ5 or QJT4, or AAQ4, or AQQ8, so that he can still value bet T8. It may account for the fact that he's got reason to believe that when I raise, I simply have KT, and that he can easily believe that I won't raise any KK, in addition to not having random KK in the first place. He may make a bad value bet on that Q (or the T, for that matter) river, and then follow that up by clicking the fold button with annoyance once I raise. Again, poker is complicated, and there's a multitude of scenario's that justify this plan, even though it's already pretty advanced when your opponent's may not be.

That's something that I realized, and that I can close with for now: Some people don't have to think much when they play poker, and I've often envied them. But that's not me. I need to think a lot.

Bankroll @ 231 %

[x] 17 hrs of poker (85%)
[x] 5.25 hrs of writing (85ish %)
[x] worked on my game 5 times a 30 minutes (100%)

Score for last week: 5 to 5

Goals for next week:
20 hrs of poker
6 hrs of writing
work on my game 5 times a 30 minutes
get a score of 6:4

...and stay humble!

The body mind connection - studies on the placebo effect, purposeful practise in poker - making every minute count, old Stephen King books - nostalgic 70's and vampires, your own amusement park - altered states and lucid dreams, playing the CO preflop - 50 shades of CO play, moving up - playing on only-reg tables, bad sleep - and still loving these nights so much, two coffee bean flavors - make it strong and foam the milk, please!, Tim Ferriss - weird inspiration, mentacognitive awareness-training - can a wristband really change your life?, poetry and subjective experience - using your brain for a change, thoughts and written words - you think the way you write the way you think, great coaching - seeing new patterns in a new way, weird drinks with beer in them - not getting drunk and enjoying it, getting up late - and realizing that it's a non-issue, staying humble - and proud of it!

How is EV generated? Let’s look at an aspect of it and put the pieces together, which is something that you can feel, as if you were putting yourself together, because once it makes sense to you, you feel good. So some people value bet depolarized with one or more streets of play left, and let’s look at what that does for them, and how EV is being generated there. The good news about betting depolarized is that you can get value from light calls, and you’re misrepresenting your hand, which means that you can get yourself into scenario’s where you’re getting to see a free showdown when you’re weak, so let’s look at an example:

I 3bet you from the small blind, and you call on the button. The flop comes J86, I check and you check. The turn is a 7 and I check again. You’ve got a bare KQ67 and you decide to make a bet putting me on some type of highcard like AKQT or pocket aces, with or without a flushdraw. You don’t mind me folding the AKQT and you don’t mind me calling with aces. One of the good things that can happen to you when you bet depolarized is that you take control, and that you get to decide what to do on the next street, too.

I once met a guy who loved opening a conversation with a question like “and what do you do for work, man?” and regardless what you said, he’d then begin to talk about his job and what he was unhappy with. I watched him do this to three different people. He’d take control, and then he’d steer the conversation where he wanted it, and I just wish he had done a better job of it, but what do they say? If you knew what you needed, you’d already have fixed your problem.

So if you take control with that mediocre hand, you better know where you want to steer the action. What’s your bet size, and why? Why are you so sure that you won’t get raised, or that your assessment of my range is correct? You see, let’s say that my hand range looks a bit differently than you thought, and that I actually have your two pair beat a lot of the time, because I check JJ on that flop almost every time, I check every AA with any kind of straight draw, I check something like KKJ8 a lot and any kind of 87 every time, and I check most nutflushdraws, too. So, you get to put in a bet, I generally fold hands with few outs or even no outs and I’ll generally call with hands that beat you or with hands that are strong drawing hands, and then you generally check back on the river and lose. No big deal, right? Compare it to what would happen if you checked back on the turn: Depending on the river card, you’d get an easy value bet, you might be in a tough spot facing a bet from me, or you’d have to check back and take your hand to showdown. Because the hands that totally missed are still in my hand range, you’d have to pay me off sometimes, and that wouldn’t be fun. So how is EV generated there? Which one is the better scenario? They both aren’t very eventful, almost boring, and generally, only one bet goes in anyway. Which bet is cleaner, meaning that you get more value from it?

How do I generate EV in that spot? I didn’t quite see this turn card coming, so I had to look ahead on the flop and make sure that my checking range would be ok on most run outs, let alone most turn cards. That’s a task that I am up to, even though I sometimes forget it. When people want to make sure that they get to value bet, they sometimes forget that their opponent can value bet for them, too. That’s called value cutting yourself. So how is EV generated in this spot by my out of position play and by your in position play? How much clearer is your evaluation of depolarized value betting right now that you’ve read this?

Stay humble!

Bankroll @ 248 %

[x] 13.5 hrs of poker (68 %)
[x] 4.75 hrs of writing (80 %)
[x] worked on my game 5 times a 20-30 minutes (90 %)

Score for last week: 4 to 4 (below expectations).

So as you can see, I had another very good week in terms of results but not a good one in terms of how much time of work I've put in due to an unexpected turn of events. Let's aim for...

20 hrs of poker
6 hrs of writing
5 30 minute intervals of work on my game
6:5 white:black

... for next week. And stay humble (which I did)!

In the next couple of minutes, you can make a step or two in the right direction for you if you want to, or you can simply relax which is very underrated especially when you relax deeply. Let's begin:

When it comes to playing poker, people who I talk to are obsessed about the theory, which I've realized is just their personality rather than a prerequisite for being a successful poker player, because when I point it out to them they know perfectly well that you can get by with very little theory even at the highest levels or that you can learn a lot of theory as you play, provided that you play at a pace that’s good for you. Here’s an example: What those professional players - and it’s funny, professional simply means that they do it for the money, often because they dropped out of college and it continues to be the easiest option for them - do well is read somebody’s hand range, and that’s just a question of counting combinations of hands. There are six combinations of aces, for example, and 16 of ace-king, four of them suited. When you press them they admit that most of what amateurs call “playing good poker” is memorization and counting things that you can usually count on your fingers and toes, especially when the pot gets big. That’s good, because it means that the larger the pressure that you really feel when you’ve had a bad night’s sleep and decided to play anyway, the less there is to think about, which is exactly what your brain is good at. It’s almost as if poker was made for professionals who sit around all day playing a card game and probably aren’t in that great shape physically and even mentally: When there’s little pressure you need to do more counting and remembering, and when there’s a lot of pressure, which is when parts of your brain simply shut down, things are getting real easy once you stop and think about it. That’s why visualization helps so much: It’s as if the game was made for that too, seeing that there are spades and clubs and diamonds, kings and queens, and that there are at least two colors on any card deck. So a poker pro is often just a good visualizer. A friend of mine used to play 24 tables of high stakes poker for hours on end, and when we worked on our game together he would keep struggling to remember real high level stuff like “so how many pocket pairs are there?” Sometimes I’d remind him, sometimes he’d say “Right, 6! And there are 4 different kinds in this spot, so that makes, … 24!” and then he was real proud of himself like a first grader who had just managed to add up two numbers without using his fingers at all! Which is not uncommon to see poker players count things on their fingers in secret. There’s a saying that goes “In poker, all the cards and chips are just there to fool the amateurs”, and that begs the question what the guys who do this all day focus on instead, cause it’s not those funny avatars, and they aren’t playing their favorite fantasy games on their phones, either, cause phones aren’t allowed at the tables. Maybe the online players do...



(You’ve seen pictures like these, but you can look at them in a new way now.)

When you see a poker pro, there’s a little game that you play with them, and it just takes 10 seconds: First watch their fingers closely… then ask how many combinations of ace-king suited there are. Sometimes, they just say four. But other times, there’s this little moment of hesitation, especially if you caught one of those who’ve had continual success for many years, which means that they’ve become really intuitive, when they’ll try to secretly use their fingers to remind themselves, like a first grader would: Clubs, spades, diamonds, hearts - it’s four! There’s a saying: “In poker, all the cards and chips are just there to fool the amateurs.” That’s right. Those pro’s can get real relieved when I tell them this little story after they’ve counted on their fingers, because something finally makes sense to them: Everybody always talks about the math, but they’ve gotten where they are knowing barely any math, nor basic pot odds, nor number of combinations. Granted, in recent years this has changed a bit, but not as much as you might think… there are much more efficient ways of memorizing a good strategies than to count combinations. Still, nowadays you may need to ask for the number of combinations of pocket sixes, or of ace-king off-suit to get a similar result. But when I explain it to them, it’s like a huge weight is finally lifted. I should really charge for it. It’s better than therapy. But it can teach you the same lesson that’ll prove to be especially valuable when you’re closer to the top, because here’s what I tell them that makes them feel so relieved: An expert can believe for years that they’ve got a weakness that they need to sort out one day without ever realizing that it’s not a weakness. It’s something that amateurs think is important and (some) pro’s know isn’t. Now you know it, too. So until next time, think about this instead, now that some mental space has been freed up:

How do these guys estimate pot odds and chances of winning without thinking in terms of ratio’s and numbers?

Bankroll @ 242 %

[x] 22.75 hrs of poker (115 %)
[x] 4 hrs of writing (67 %)
[x] worked on my game 4 times a 20-30 minutes (80 %)

Gotta be quick today. OK week, good work today, stayin' humble!

Peace out!

...

(Well, I don’t make poker hard, poker is pretty hard. My opponents are pretty tough and aggressive, and there’s an overwhelming amount of theory to deal with. Every mistake costs real money. So yea, poker is pretty hard.)

And do you want to make it easy?

(Well, yes, that’s why I am practicing a lot and learning as much as I can as well as I can)

And has that made it any easier?

(Yes, it actually has. the last couple of weeks it’s been getting easier and easier)

So why would you say that poker is hard?

(Well - it is hard. It’s just easier than it used to be. It used to be really stressful)

So you went from stressful to just hard. Can you imagine it being easy?

(I am not sure. It’s like… yea I guess, but isn’t that sort of childish? How would that change anything?)

What would you want it to change?

(Well I’d like it to lead to real insights about the game and to unlock the next level for me, so to speak)

and would that be a big change or a small change?

(A really big change)

A really big change… have you really got it in you?

(Good question. I think so. I guess I’ll see, right?)

I guess you will when you finally unlock it. How would you unlock it?

(By working hard and consistently. I told you already.)

Is that how you’re getting to the door? Or is that how you’re unlocking it?

(I guess it’s how I am unlocking it.)

How did you just determine that?

(Well I realized that I am feeling better and better about playing poker. More curious, more focused, more resilient. So I must be unlocking it step by step)

It also sounds like there are obstacles.

(Yes, there are. I could fall back into old patterns if I am not careful, and especially if I stop being disciplined and working hard.)

That sounds like you’re on your way and you won’t get there if you change direction or if you don’t keep going.

(Yes, that’s about right.)

... and you unlock it by staying HUMBLE!

Bankroll @ 249 %

[x] 21 hrs of poker (105 %)
[x] 2.75 hrs of writing (45 %)
[x] worked on my game 5 times a 20-30 minutes (100 % + bonus)

I also began taking shots at the next highest stake, which was quite exciting. I'll do more of that next week!
Let's aim for the same next week (20 hrs of poker, 6 hrs of writing, theory work for 2.5 hours).

Let's also aim for:
[ ] 1 run, 26 minutes or longer on Wednesday
[ ] 1 cold shower on Sunday
[ ] 1 meditation, 25 minutes or longer on Monday

I dropped the marbles, as it were, because I need to make a new plan for how to use them well.

Peace out and stay humble!

Bankroll @ 228 %

[x] 12.25 hrs of poker (61 %)
[x] 2.25 hrs of writing (36 %)
[x] worked on my game 4 times a 20-30 minutes (80 %)
[x] 1 run, 26 minutes or longer on Sunday
[x] 1 cold shower on Sunday
[ ] 1 meditation, 25 minutes or longer on Monday

Probably caught a cold on Sunday during that run and the cold shower... been somewhat sick all week, so I didn't put that much work in. That said, my performance during my sessions, based on the metrics that I've been using, was very very promising.
Moving on...

You may have wondered why I didn't post on Tuesday. I forgot, and I didn't take much time for work this week, so what I'd like to do is this:

Have you ever wondered what it'd be like to get an hour of mental game coaching, but didn't want to spend the money? Or have you had one from Elliot Roe or Jared Tendler and would like to compare it to what others have to offer? This is your chance: Send me a pm and let me know why you want a mental game session with me, or what you hope to gain from it. First one to send me a satisfactory PM gets it. Also let me know whether you'd be happy to post a bit of a review here once we're done, as that would be fun to read about and would fit with the purpose of this blog, which is to hold me accountable for what I've been up to and to rate my performance. If I get no PM's within a week, then the offer is void. Also:

From now on, anytime I miss a post, one of you gets a free mental game session with me. I'll announce it, and all you gotta do is pm me why you want that session, or what you hope to gain from it. It's going to be a 60 minute session, for free, focused on improving your mental game. It'll be during European day time, Monday through Friday.

Next week, I'll aim for:

[ ] 20 hrs of poker
[ ] 5 hours of writing
[ ] work on my game 5 times a 20-30 minutes
[ ] 1 run, 27 minutes or longer on Wednesday
[ ] 1 cold shower on Sunday
[ ] 1 meditation, 25 minutes or longer on Monday

Stay humble!

( Bill Burr)

It's carnivore month, and I mention that because it's been affecting my state during my sessions, and it'll keep affecting it I am sure (that's the idea).

Let me post some data:



This is me performing very well mentally over the last couple of weeks. It's turned out to be a challenging thing to measure and I am pretty happy with the way I came up with. It makes me feel calmer, and that means that I choose better options especially when it counts because future Simon is always watching!



And this makes a lot of sense too once you stop and think about it. You can see how my mental performance is affecting my overall performance which is rather stable apart from that. This is because my technical game is rather stable, as is yours, and if anything is going to hugely affect my performance in a single session, seeing that with a clear head I sort of know what I want to do in all kinds of spots, is my mental game. Pretty cool, right?

So how has your mental performance been in February, and what are you going to do about it in March?

Chat with ya on Friday and keep those PM's coming (see most recent post before this one)!

Bankroll @ 229 % (+1%)

• I played 17.25 hours of poker

• I worked on my game 5 times for at least 30 minutes, which is real progress both time wise and measurably in terms of what I am learning, how efficiently I am learning and how well I recall what I practise in game which is when it counts.

• I did a little under four hours of writing, which went really well because what I was writing was intensely interesting, and it's really relevant to my progress from week to week.

I was still a bit sick, so I didn't achieve all of my non-poker goals, but I went for a run at least.

Ostensibly, not much happened. But under the hood a lot went on, so let me share some of that with you: Been shooting a new stake much more seriousl and making a lot of EV in some spots where my play was good and my opponent's play was much worse than what I would do in their shoes, and that showed. I lost those hands, so that's variance.

Talk to y'all next week and stay humble!

I've been working on a sort of regiment (with somebody's help, of course. World class performance isn't the realm of lone wolfs) that I am putting myself through right now in order to really level up my game within a certain number of weeks. Part of that has been to figure out the parameters and number and size of steps that are necessary in order to achieve my goal of playing much higher stakes towards the end of the year.

Having been measuring my performance explicitly since this blog started made me realize that there are things that really matter when it comes to improving quickly that I haven't seen anybody do out of the high stakes players who I talked to for years.

1) Measure, measure, measure... your performance. Your improvement. Your shortcomings.

2) Routine, routine,... routinely get up, routinely play, routinely measure your performance

3) Play, play, play... 5 days a week

4) Work, work, work... on your game in ways that actually work and get you measurable results

5) Repeat, repeat, repeat... the three rules of mental practice: Repeat, repeat, repeat

I've been having really good conversations about having a life with depth, rather than a broad life (A life with breadth? ). I believe that it's the key for me and that it has made much of the difference so far, and is going to keep making a large difference and make even a larger one the more I zone in on it.

...humbly!

Bankroll @ 211 % (-18%)

• I played 17 hrs and 53 minutes of poker

• I worked on my game 4 times à 45 minutes or more, which is real progress both time wise and measurably in terms of what I am learning, how efficiently I am learning and how well I recall what I practise in game which is when it counts.

• I did a 2 and a quarter hours of writing and that time that I didn't spend writing went towards improving how I measure both my performance and mental performance and my progress when working on my game, I spent a couple of hours on that and I am happy that I did, it's a really big piece of the puzzle and a cornerstone of everything I want to accomplish and of finally going really deeply into poker, no excuses, which means that I am committed.

And here's a short graphic novel that a friend of a friend sent me (and I was thinking: What a spewtard that guy is!) just to remind us all that Frank is still in here, and he's just doin' what he does best: Protecting my white ass!



Talk to y'all next week and stay humble!

Sit down, and begin with inspiration. Then enjoy those first minutes, looking for what interests you today. What sort of rabbit hole could you climb down right now?
When you’re really hooked in, so to speak, follow through with determination.
Then take a break with joy and gratitude, even just for the opportunity to take a break, which may mean that you’ll continue later on, or that you’re done for the day.

Inspiration - Curiosity - Determination - Joy and Gratitude.

Practise that pattern, and it’ll serve you well.



...is good advice that I never had time for, and that I still need to make time for nowadays. In fact, making time for it isn't straight-forward. Urgent stuff tends to get in the way. Does "urgent" mean important, or does it mean unimportant? I guess it depends whether it's getting its value by fiat, because "of course it's important when it's urgent!".

Bankroll @ 222 % (+11%)

My routine has changed as I've embarked on a sort of challenge, so this is what I got done this week:

• 13 intervals of playing poker
• 13 intervals of working on a specific branch of theory
• 4 times of learning about a preflop spot / memory training for >40 minutes each
• 5:45 hours of writing

which makes me feel good and excited about next week.

Talk to y'all then!

The map is not the territory.



Where are you heading?

How long is that going to take, and in what manner are you getting there?

What do you think right now are you going to encounter along the way?

In poker, you’re using a map in order to get you where you want to go. You’re using it in order to get to a certain point within a month. You’re using it in order to get to a certain point within a week. You’re using it in order to get to a certain point within a session. And you’re using it to get to a certain point within a hand. You’re using it for other routes, too: Get through an orbit. Get through a certain emotional state (like tilt). Or another one (like the zone). You’re using it in order to go back to normal. You’re using it in order to get yourself motivated and in order to get yourself cooled down. So what kind of map is it?

Have you ever tried getting to a destination with your eyes closed? Imagine doing that for a moment, and assume you have to go 10 metres, and you remember there being a thorny bush in the way about half way. You’ll know that you've reached your goal when you reach a wall. Off you go. Imagine what your first step would be like. And the second one. And the third one. When would you make the decision to go straight, reach the bush, and incorporate that feedback into your way to the wall, or to circle around the bush and circle back in, getting no feedback, but also no risk of being stung, or even tripping? Keep going. How quickly would you anticipate reaching the bush? Would you start taking much smaller steps or extending your arms?

Let’s take the room that you’re in as another example. You’re here, now, and you want to get over there. Instead of visual feedback (being able to see where you’re going) you get a VR-headset, and the headset shows what you remember the way to look like, which means that you will get only a fraction of the feedback that you’d get without the headset, and some of it is really going to hurt if you’re not careful.
Visualize the room that you’re in. What perspective are you seeing it from in your mind’s eye? From where your physical body is located? Or from a different vantage point? Try visualizing it as if you were standing in the door. What is the first thing that you see? Imagine you had to find your way through this room, not standing still or sitting down, for 5 minutes, and you get a minute to prepare in your own mind. What’s different about the way you see this room now?

[...]

I am sitting in my office right now. If I close my eyes and recall this room in my mind, I get a sort of precise mental image that shows me where to expect certain objects: There are a couple of cartons right behind where I am sitting from some items that I recently bought, and I can’t seem to get a clear picture of how many, and where exactly they are. The more I concentrate on them, the more I remember. One is half open, and it’s sitting on top of some others. There’s a cupboard full of books, and a large printer. This is what my VR headset would show if I used it to see what’s over there. There’s a lamp, too. And a couch. Reaching out with my right foot I immediately notice that there’s more space than I thought there was. Is this an entryway into my inner world? People say they feel constricted, like they can’t move freely. Would they, with their eyes closed, always anticipate things being much closer than they actually are?

I love doing a visualization like this, it makes me feel excited. If you visualize the room that you’re in and imagine a way through that room that you can manage easily with your eyes closed, you'll get into a new state of mind quickly. What are you expecting to encounter, and where? How little feedback are you willing to get and still get where you want to go? If I would get up, turn right, and walk in a straight line, I’d reach a door. There’s a table on the way, and a wall close by to my left. There’s a carpet, too. I would estimate that the whole way is 4 metres long. So I’d probably need to take 8 steps.

[...]

Reaching the door, I lightly bumped into a drawer to my left, and I took 6 small steps in order to get there. I also sort of remember feeling the carpet, but not really. I didn’t touch the table at all. My left hand lightly brushed over the wall 2 or 3 times, and stayed there when I was close to the door, but not there yet.

Let’s do it again:

This time I expected to take 6 steps, and I made them a bit too small, so I wasn’t quite there after the 6th one. I bumped into that same drawer, and I took wider steps in order to tough the table, which I can’t remember touching, but I don’t think I did.

Let’s do it a third time:

This time I started walking in a sightly different angle to avoid the drawer, and I lightly brushed it. Then I almost bumped into the table. After step five I lifted my arms and held them in front of my face, because I expected to run into the door, which didn’t happen. I just reached it.

Let’s do it a fourth time:

I turned far right in the beginning, which felt unnatural, but I wanted to avoid the drawer. I took larger steps, and bumped into the table. I lifted my hands again, and I reached the door in five steps.

So what have I learned about my map?

My first goal was to avoid the drawer, so I turned slightly right in order to achieve that.
My second goal was to get the feedback of where the table was, so I took wider steps.
My third goal was to avoid the drawer even more, and not avoid the table, so I turned right even more, which felt weird.
My fourth goal was to get closer to the door in six steps, and to be precise in where to expect it in order not to lift my hands, so I took larger steps, which brought me to close, and didn’t give me a sense of control.

The goal: Reach the door in a premeditated manner.
The route: Walk straight (bumped into the drawer), take 8 steps (needed only 6), mind the table (which I didn’t encounter), use the fingers of your left hand to lightly brush the wall (which worked, but later than I thought it would).

Turned into…

The goal: Reach the door in a premeditated manner.
The route: turn right just a little bit, take slightly larger steps, avoid the drawer, lightly touch the table with your leg, turn slightly left and lift your hands only when you anticipate the door being there.

Obstacle on your left -> Turn right a bit
Low obstacle -> Take wider, deliberate steps
High obstacle -> take more shuffling, smaller steps, lift your arms and hands to protect your face

A straight line turned into turning too far right on purpose, walking straight (didn’t count my steps) and then turning slightly left and walking straight (didn’t count my steps). I relied on some senses and intuitions (like counting the steps I'd need for the whole way, but not for the first part of the way. Like using my fingers to feel objects.) and I didn't rely on others (like my sense of smell, or my ears).

When you play poker, do you take large, striding steps in order to bump into things in a controlled way, or do you take small, shuffling steps in order to avoid those obstacles that you’re anticipating? And when was the last time that you checked whether those obstacles are actually where you think they are, or much closer, or much farther away? Do you reach out your arms, anticipating obstacles that you may bump into with your face, or your head? Do you walk in a straight line, or are you taking turns in order to avoid certain sources of feedback that may or may not be there?

Imagine you’re walking through a large field of grass, starting right here, wanting to get over there, where a helicopter is waiting for you. And you know there are rattlesnakes hidden in the grass. You also know that when you see them, it might be too late. So you start walking, and you adjust accordingly. You walk slowly and carefully, and you avoid certain patches of grass, while steering yourself towards others where you think the vision is much better. You’re so focused that you don’t notice anything except what way to take, and the potential hint of seeing the shape of part of a rattlesnake. You’re ready to jump at a moment’s notice. Sounds or smells don't reach you cause you're so zoned in on seeing things.

Now what you don’t know is that these rattlesnakes never stop rattling (very quietly!) so that it can barely be picked up by a human ear when they’re three to five metres away which means that you hear them before you see them, and the height of the grass won’t matter. Even worse: Because you concentrate so much on seeing them and on finding a way that’s specifically designed to be able to see them more easily, you’re not paying any attention at all to the sounds that you might otherwise pick up on. In addition to that, it’s exhausting to walk through this field this way, both for your focus and your attention and for your legs and body, because you’re tense as a bow string, thinking that as soon as you see a hint of even a shape of any part of what could or could not be a rattlesnake, you gotta move away as quickly as you can, potentially running into another rattlesnake in the process. It's stressful, maybe the most stressful thing you've ever done! And you’re literally travelling like a deaf person without knowing it.

Could it be that you’re navigating your poker career like a blind person without realizing it instead of making sure to properly use and hone all the senses that you’ve got at your disposal?

A sense of where you are in your career. A sense of where you’re at in a hand. A sense of who you’re dealing with. A sense of what you can and cannot do competently. A sense of what’s going to get you where you want to go. A sense of what your strengths are. A sense of where you’re at mentally. A sense of where you’re at physically. A sense of what is most important for you right now. And a sense of what's most important in the long run.

Bankroll @ 245 % (+23%)

... and this is what I got done this week:

• 14 intervals of playing poker
• 14 intervals of working on a specific branch of theory
• 5 times of learning about a preflop spot / memory training for an average of 37 minutes each
• 2:50 hrs of writing

Talk to y'all next week!

As I missed my post yesterday, one of you is going to get a free mental game session with me. All you have to do is send me a PM and let me know why I should pick you and what sort of goal you've got in mind that you want to use that session for.

Send those PM's til the 7th of April and I'll pick a lucky winner on the 8th.

Good luck!

Bankroll @ 252 % (+7%)

... and I had a fine week in terms of volume, but not a stellar one:

• 16 intervals of playing poker
• 16 intervals of working on a specific branch of theory
• 5 times of learning about a preflop spot / memory training for an average of 40 minutes each
• 4:20 hrs of writing
• went for a jog, took a cold shower (because that kind of activity a week keeps the doctor away...)

Talk to y'all next week![/QUOTE]

“How can you change your game?” a friend asked me once. First, I didn’t know what he meant. “My game changes all the time.” I said proudly. But he explained. “Simon, my game does too, or any aspect of it that I work on. But there are so many little things that, if I am being totally honest, don’t work for me very well. Sometimes it’s the stress of playing, even the pain of losing in ways that I hate, and those ways haven’t changed much over the years. I still hate it. Some spots I’ve played sort of the same for a long time, and I perform alright in them, but I think I could do much better. And when I am being completely honest: I perform really well in some spots, but it doesn't make me feel good. I don’t want to change a part of my game. I want to change my game and I want to notice my opponents changing their games around me, too. And I know that when you hear me say this, you're not hearing "I want to change my strategy". You're hearing what I am saying. I am not asking for your help, because I am not sure what you would help me with. But have you got any ideas?”

If you developed that mindset, you'd be a game changer.

You can test this for yourself: When you realize that you could change your game, and the game of your opponents, do you get excited about that? Some people run this test, and they say honestly: “No, I am not excited about that.” But they still want to change their games. They say: “Simon, I am not unhappy with my game. It sort of works. But I still want to change it. Is that enough?” And you know what? No, it’s not enough. There are players who are very unhappy with their games, and that still isn’t enough for them to begin to change a game that they themselves would admit needs a good overhaul. And there’s a reason for that, and helping you figure out your own reason is going to allow somebody, maybe me, maybe somebody else, to help you sort yourself out, and then you’ll be a step closer to sitting down and doing something about your poker game and about your attitude during some sessions and about habits that you don’t believe are good for you and about the relationships to people you love and admire, first and foremost to yourself, and about your whole life. Whether you’re one of those people who take the first step, or one step, or the final step doesn’t matter. It’s a great step in the right direction for anybody, and once you’ve taken it you’ll wake up feeling good about yourself the next morning, and that’s what you notice throughout the day and others notice it too.

At this point, I remember hearing a sort of incredulous question: "Is it really that big?" And with that questioner, I knew that he had already made up his mind and that he wasn't open to what I was going to say. It's as big as anything that you do for hours a day and that changes you. Who do you become through all the practice you're putting in at the poker tables and doing work on your game? I've met people in their mid 20's who've already become chronically annoyed whiners, because that's what they've practiced for a couple of years. Others just begin to focus on everything that's unlucky, because, you've guessed it, that's what they've practiced.

Changing your game is a place holder for something that's as big as you want it to be. It can just mean that you fold some more hands on the button.

Peace out.

Bankroll @ 271 % (+19%)

• 4 intervals of playing poker
• 4 intervals of working on a specific branch of theory
• 2 times of learning about a preflop spot / memory training for an average of 40 minutes each
• some writing
• an additional 12 hrs of poker

Talk to y'all next week!

Enjoying the updates man