The withered grind

Yo guys, it's been awhile. Haven't been doing too good, didn't update because I was busy and generally not in the most positive state of mind so didn't want to come here and whine

Wasn't even too much because of poker, but yeah the downswing didn't help either. So I've been having a lot of deep runs, couldn't win the important flips deep these last few sessions. BR dropped down to ~5.5k$ so I'll need to step down from the bigger buyins and just go back to building. Will play today and tomorrow, gonna try and add a bunch of sats as I did already yesterday. With that WCOOP Challenge thing around there's a ton of them out there and they're obv super soft.

Runs






Graphs





that #fishbowl (rain)

Gla on the tables, I'll be sweating the flips a bit harder these days

Falling down

Can't stop the downswing, def. not only running bad and I don't take the swings really well on my own tbh.
Not sure what plans are right now, I honestly just can't win that last flip and had like 10 f2t the last 3-4 sessions, but also blew some stacks and taking high variance lines that I shouldn't. So yeah, parts of that downer are me not playing my A+ game and forcing it too much. Need to get my life back on track too, have to go back to the gym on a reg basis and control my #fat****habits


Wrt gameselection, honestly as long as I have a fulltime job I don't want to move down and play micros.
I don't depend on that money and I'd rather have some fun while playing instead of withering clicking 180s to build a roll. I don't want to play highstakes, but being able to play everything I'm beating is a big point for me. It sounds stupid and I know that but I need to have smth that get's me excited to grind, motivation to play a full schedule is fully here even during ****ing downswing-times like this. I finally can play a full weekend as I'm off on monday and sunday will be full of exciting mtts. So I have 2 options in mind and would be happy to hear opinions:

Option A: Cash out the remaining BR on Skrill (3.3k$) and build back up joining the #teambowlcomps
Option B: Grind Sats only on saturday and try to get as many T$ to play all the majors on sunday and take one last shot

I think Option A is best as I know the peeps in the team, Martin is a really nice guy that runs his stable well and let's me play pretty much everything I want as long as MU is low. There are guys willing to review and there's a generally good vibe on there. Have been thinking about looking for another stable that focuses a lot on coaching (Martin too busy shipping bowls ) but I barely get in enough volume as is and think it would just really stress me out as he's also understanding wrt fulltime job and me not always being able to grind.
It's probably just better cashing out the remaining BR, pay for the stuff I bought (screen/ssd) and get rid of stupid tax debts, that would at least lave me with a feeling of taking something out of the grind this year instead of being withered as **** by the time Christmas comes around. Lately I had way too many thoughts about this game might just not being it for me, but I won't give up that easily.... Still interested to hear what everyone thinks, let's get this thread back rolling during the bad times too


Macropoker doesn't work somehow, but if I had to guess I'm ~breakeven on 888, here the other sites (rain) :



Gla

Interesting post. a 250ABI downer over such a small sample really sucks, especially when it's a significant chunk of your roll. I went on a massive 450-500ABI downer at a 20ABI towards the end of last year. At the time I was 16-20tabling every session and lost all confidence in my game (also wasn't playing very well), and wasn't sure if I'd ever get out of it.

The thing that really helped me the most in turning it around was dropping my table count way down and really focusing on each game/decision. It makes such a massive difference to your game and is a great way to get confidence back and improve your game. From reading this thread it looks like you already have the whole study and game selection thing down which is also really important, but it could be worth dropping your tables down for a month and see how it goes.

Also, Option A>> Option B. Could also be an option C. Keep your own action for micros and sell action to the bigger buyins until you pull out of the downer and get back to a comfortable roll. I had a look at your stats and it looks like you are destroying 0-$22 with not much variance. It reallllllly sucks to have to give away half your profits in really good action that you can crush on your own.

Anyway whatever you decide to do, best of luck! Will be following your thread in 2014.

thanks for your input, def. interesting thoughts. I'll adress every part seperatly as I think it's a valuable discussion to have. gl to you aswell!


yeah, did some cutting of tables and it def. helps the confidence as you can think trough your decisions.
Always envy ppl like moertel who can just 40table mtts with sats mixed in and printing money while doing it. Pretty sure I cap at 22 and even there I prob just autopilot. I'm not too worried I can't beat the games in a good state, more worried about myself forcing it too much and play a whole different game with a lot of OI-shoves when downswinging. Never have that when backed as I really don't care as long as it's not my profits that I just destroy (obv not intentionally, but that's just how variance goes sometimes).
I'm also the person who tends to undervalue my own "success" and stress my mind too much/often when things go bad, not only in poker but in life generally. One good thing about that is that I won't ever play too high because I think I'm crushing, really love to play games I'm certain I'd be able to crush. U just don't have an ego when it comes to poker, just want to gain more financial freedom out of it and enjoy the game itself obv.
Wrt dropping tables I mostly do that one session and then think I'm burning money by not regging certain games, which mostly are the most variance-heavy so that's pretty stupid



agree in general, thing is that selling action for every session
is just too much work. I can't always plan sessions ahead, would have to cancel a lot etc.
Also def. wanna play stuff like sunday million when special promotions go on (don't play a lot of sundays bcs of work) and would have to give up too much of myself to play. Optimal case would obv be to find a backer who's willing to take my action on stuff >22$ but that's not gonna happen as I don't have a good record of these + it'd be reaaaally hard to track when playing 5+ sites.


Will go trough options today and tomorrow, maybe talk to some other backers aswell as it might be better to find a group that includes a bunch of coaching to finally make that step ahead.
You adressed that I have the study-part worked out, well I don't I just don't put in enough hours and am often clueless when reviewing on my own tbh, so that's def. something I have to improve.
Obv time is always short and honestly lately I didn't have a lot of "down hours" where I just enjoyed life instead of grinding/working/wrapping head around poker, but I need to just shower a session or play a shorter one to get in those study hours.

GL beating that downer mate! Have faith!

GL prince #longlivebowlcomps

thanks bros, if you guys ever feel like adding some to your strattalk-circle drop me a PM with your skype as we're prob playing similar stakes

Because you don't rely on the money from poker to live, do not get backed again!

well yeah I see your point, then again atm I'd be pretty happy to cash it out and pay taxes I've been avoiding all year. So while it's not a necessity to "survive" the money isn't worthless for me and I'd be pretty gutted to just burn trough a 9k$ BR (high point).

I haven't read all thread, but do you have a full time/parttime job besides poker?

Have a fulltime-job / 40 hours week but a lot of "freedom" and not really a full 40 hours atm, depends on season.

My goal isn't to go fulltime poker anytime soon, I don't want to move out of the country atm and living in Switzerland you need like 3k€/month at least with how I'm living right now. Major goal is to at some point be able to get a job I really enjoy and do that ~50-60% to have 2 full days + weekend to grind but we're far away from that still

well, I guess martins $$ run better than mine

just got 2nd in The Hot 33$ (finally mafakkaaaaaa) for 6k$ the first day back on the stake

still 4tabling, gonna do numbers after session and decide if I go back on my own and sell a big package for tomorrows grind.

Awesome score mate, too bad it was on stake.

Grats

Grats on the bink . gg downswing!

I Didn't realise that was your sn. I failboxed in fourth.

ha, didn't realize that was you posting itt, knew that you're a reg tho gg, some epic ladderfails on that ft.

tyty

thanks Dante!

<3 i guess mindset is your key right?

grats mirco

yeah bro, it's all about that mindset

starting my sunday grind in 10 mins, this is gonna be huge so let's hope I don't donate >2k$ right back to the community

nothing really special, but I'm still a tad proud of getting that #grindersbadge while having a fulltime job (party)



vamooooo

Bamalam nice job on one-upping me I that thing gl today

thx bro!

have been playing a bunch before the festivities, got back in today after feasting for a few days #fat****sunited

don't really feel like updating, probably gonna do a wrap up on monday as tomorrow or monday will be my last sessions for the year.

let's finish with a bang! gla on sundayfunday

if you want a sweat: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/16...value-1402161/

2013, it's a wrap

Has been an interesting year, learned a lot about myself and even more wrt poker. Don't think I've set goals at the start of this year, so nothing to review there says a lot about how I didn't care about being organized up to now, this will have to change. Already have the 2014 spreadsheet up and almost ready, will have a way better idea what I earn next year.
Been on and off grinding on my own like 3 times, don't like all financial decisions I've made but no regrets here it all sounded right at the time.
The last few months I've been putting in a lot of hours playing and finally started seriously working on my game instead of wasting time.

December was intense, prob put in like 30-40% of yearly study volume and 33% of yearly games while having an increased ABI. Did ~4 reviews with other regs alone which is essential imo. Hit my biggest Score with the 2nd in the Hot 33$ and had some nice chances to make a good buck for myself. The swings I set myself up to this month were pretty big and I knew it, essentially made 0$ for myself (rain) so as BR is hurt from shottying 2 sundays on my own January will start with the bowlcomp grind. Plan to grind eurosites or early sessions hard and just add some reds/rebuys on stars while showering ftp completely. We'll see how that goes, not excluding getting backed again.

So yeah I don't know if I make another thread for 2014, it just eats up a lot of time and while it's nice to keep track I might rather just do it for my own, or create a thread with weekly updates. Plans/Goals for 2014 are still in the making, that's a rough list of it:

Poker
[ ]8000 MTTS
[ ]40k$ Profit
[ ]20k$ personal Profit
[ ]~20$ ABI
[ ]Roll to sustain that ABI
[ ]Make 1 Livetrip to meet 2+2ers irl
[ ]Bink Onlinesat to Livetrip
[ ]FT red MTT on .com
[ ]Win a weekly "Euromajor"
[ ]Study >16 hours/month on average
[ ]Keep track of every hour I spend for poker
[ ]75% of study reviewing, 25% watching vids
[ ]either go take a walk or go the gym before every weekendsession
[ ]P5s Swiss Grindersbadge 3/12 months
[ ]keep track of all spendings/winnings
[ ]keep extending network to talk poker
[ ]learn HU hypers and have that as a sidegame for short reg windows and also to get better at HU
[ ]beat 15$ HU hypers? (no idea on volume/state of games yet tbh)


Life
[ ]Figure out career plans, find smth I'm happy doing fulltime
[ ]Make better financial decisions
[ ]Get organized / keep track
[ ]Workout an avg of 2x/week
[ ]Get finances clean, separate BRs for life/poker
[ ]Track all expenses from June on (this one's real hard for me so that's why I give myself some time to set everything up)
[ ]care / stress myself less

Graphs

Year




Thanks to everyone that kept me motivated trough the year or simply followed this thread. A special thanks to OMGSuperstaR and ottocat01 for putting in them study hours with me, giving me advice etc. lately, to all the people who keep investing in my packages and obv the man, the master of bowlcomps moertelmu + stable!

Have fun partying tonight y'all, I have no idea what the place we're going to will be like but probably back on the grind tomorrow if I manage to not drink too much Gla

GL mate, let's crush together!

GL

tl;dr.

cheers mirco, may the force be with u <3

GLGL in 2014, go get it!

thanks guys, just finished my first session in 2014 #winning

been reading trough some pg&c threads and don't think I can resist making a new one for 2014 structuring it right now, probably going with weekly updates.