I'm a 32 year old male, with a great job and a love for my own thoughts. I live constantly in my own mind so much and always wanted to catalogue it all. I think memories are a thing of happiness much the time. Memories create patterns, patterns are how we live our life, it's what we are comfortable with. In many senses this is what I love about poker, the ability to have a habit, the act of going, and a game that has been statistically "solved" (yes I know, its not, blah blah blah). It's also why I think I have been the inner workings to beat the game. I don't really 100% know if I do, but I just want the ability to beat this puzzle, poker is a giant Rubik's cube for me, I don't need the money, I don't even care about the money, I want to solve the puzzle, I want my brain to essentially figure your brain out. This is what I love about Poker.

This blog is an Ode to the wonderful woman in my life that I can't get out of my head. I just lost her, but I'm figuring out why I lost her. I was selfish, I only thought about myself and I let her think that her and her kids were not worth it to me, it's the exact opposite, they are worth it. Poker is how I deal with anxiety, its doing something I love, but with other people. A poker room is full of people like me I've began to notice. People with these forms of social anxiety. I began to really look at players, really get to know them, how they dress, how they sat down at the table, how they treat the dealers, do they look at the floor woman differently, how do they view me from the moment I sat down. I believe this is my social anxiety, and dealing with it on a macro-scale (LIVE Poker), is the risk of everyone seeing me fail....failure is my social anxiety, it's why I hate dancing, it's why I hate speaking Spanish infront of fluent Spanish speaker, so I'm taking lessons, these things make me "anxious" (that queasiness and uneasiness). Poker is my monologue for all of this, sure, not everyone has social anxiety at the poker table, but if you really watch peoples hands, listen to their voices, look at there legs shaking under the table, why do you wear a hat and glasses at the table? Why are you trying to cover yourself up? Really think about it, this game is maybe how many of us deal with these insecurities. Poker is my way of dealing with the fact that I can't make sense of this world. The game down to the core, when figuring out a bluff, when you call, is your logic telling you that you are right, but could be very wrong at the same time.

Love is something I've never felt until recently. For being such a solitary man, I was surprised that I would want a woman, especially with kids, to be my wife. She is also a puzzle, she is so complex, so abstract, that I want to solve her, and because she is drop dead gorgeous, I also want to **** her. She is my love.

So with the start of a new an interesting life into the mind of myself, and documenting it. I also want to become a more intuitive poker player. I want to know the inner workings of this game past theoretical concept. I think that's what "Pluribus" is. Look up what the definition of that means, it's so perfectly named. Essentially "Pluribus" became the smartest HUMAN on the planet. Able to pick your "patterns" apart as a human, even from a GTO perspective that should not be allowing you to be exploited. These patterns are who you are, I love figuring yours out, this is a blog into my mind and how I think. I'll be playing online 25NL, starting with a $100 bankroll. Shut up you BRM freaks. Ok. Back to it, I'll be playing 25NL on Ignition and 600NL 5/5 Live. I'll be starting online with $100 bankroll and Live I'll be starting with a $1200 bankroll. Why do I start with the worst BRM decision ever???? Because I'm a rec. I don't need the money, I just find it fun and can more than afford this. If I lose it all, reload next check and keep perfecting this game more.

I'll post as often as I make it to "The Casino". I will probably come back and write about 1-2 specific hands, running it thru a solver and trying to figure out why the solver solved that specific hand that way. Then I like to think about it from a GTH (Game Theory Human) perspective. Does that specific human with everything I've seen, would they do this here...in this specific spot...call and be right, call and be fooled. Were they smarter than me, were they outplaying me. I'm just a fish with money, step into my tank.

Down 2 BI online, I'm actually glad it happened, all my fault. I was up 200bb and lost two massive pots when I was the huge favorite on both, depleting my stack back to 100bb. Tilting, this is me tilting, I do not deserve the next pot. Few pots later I bluffed off the rest of my stack on a low pocket pair in a 3-bet pot. Horrible play. I'm glad I failed though, I didn't deserve that pot, I'm glad I didn't suck out, I should have not been rewarded in some "variance" way, then chalk it up to "good play". My biggest aspect I need work on is my tilting after losing massive hands, I can run over 25NL on Ignition, very rarely do I feel someone at a table there is "tough." When I get sucked out on, I feel like I deserve a pot shortly after, I feel that I need to get my stack back to what it was. I played 211 hands, ran a stack up to 200bb, and bluffed off what would have been a small win for the evening, in a pot I had no business being in.

I need to be ok with failing and realize I can find +EV spots elsewhere...sometimes it's just not in the cards. I need to realize this in my own life too, sometimes I'm to quick to be aggressive in my own personal life, a sense of patience can yield me +EV in my life in the long run. I need patience. I do not deserve the next pot, I do not deserve the woman I'm after, but if I'm patient I can enter the game again, I just need the right cards, I need the right moment.

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I've been more or less been getting forced to work a few days in a row, haven't had the chance to visit the Casino. May do that tonight, may just go tomorrow sometime. Been working a bit that I just feel lazy to get up, although, I know when I get to the Casino that I will be in the zone as long as I eat first. Well, I'll probably take a break, maybe hop back on ignition 25NL and exercise the patience I know I need and have the ability to express, thats the sign of a true winner.

BI: $600
Cash Out: $1240
4hrs

"And today was a good day."

Still nerves overtaking my entire body while sitting at the green felt today. I played well and kept myself from tilting even after a big win. LIVE is so much easier then online it's kind of funny, even the "regs" are kind of ****. While sitting at the table though, I almost feel so nervous that I feel sick. That kept me from eating prior and eating while at the table/ break...I know it sounds dumb, but I can get so anxious/ sick that it legit makes me nauseous. I sit there, one hand in my pocket, jittering, playing with my $1 chips, waiting for my turn to act. Bet. Raise. Fold. Why the **** does my nerves feel like this at times? I do not even need this money, am I a whale? hahahahaha. I'm starting to think I am, I just like the mind games. With the practicing at 25NL on Ignition, I'm learning to be more aggressive, be ok with failures, find good bluffing opportunities. **** tilt, I want to play so many more hands, but a good player, a smart person, they wait for the opportunity, poker is such a game of patience. It really does test me that way.

I made two hero-calls that I was pretty proud of, I overcame that fear of failure, my body honestly kind of put the chips in, my mind couldn't makes sense of the line. It felt good to make them, felt really good to make that "reg" eat his own ****.

#1

By this point I'm probably perceived as aggressive by the table, I've straddled a number of times, I'm the "whale" for these stakes.
Villain 1CO-"**** reg" is what I would classify this hoodie-sunglass wearing dude.
Villain 2 SB-"**** reg" as well, more passive then the first guy, but still, I played a big pot vs. this guy, played some absolute mind **** game on him with minraises and came over the top on the river, this villain folded. Both these villains have been limping definitely more then usual, I've been finding my spots to 3-bet, which means I've been 3-betting alot.

Hero BB ($950): 10h 10d
Villain 1 CO(~$500)
Villain 2 SB (~$500)

Some UTG/LJ limps with $5
CO-Opens to $25
SB-Calls $25
Hero BB-Calls $25
That UTG/LJ folded to the raise and two callers

Why did I "just" call? At this point in the game, I feel my image has been almost too aggressive, I've been straddling and have done some stealing, now I'm in the BB with a premium holding, why not do some set hunting. I feel confident enough vs. these two "**** regs" that I can navigate the hand decently well post-flop.

$80 to the flop: Ah 3d 4h

SB: Check
BB Hero: Check
CO: Bets $45

SB: Fold
BB Hero: Call $45, I floated this for set hunting, and my hand can be very disguised. Villain gave a standard c-bet for these stakes, almost a standard c-bet when they have nothing, thats the pattern I've picked up on. So, **** it, why not float it.

$170 to the Turn: 8h

BB Hero: Check
CO: Gives a "give up" type of check, villain smells my weakness.

$170 to the River: Ks

By this point I'm sure all I have is a bluff catcher, I think villain would have c-bet more frequently on the turn and with larger sizing with Ax+. I also don't think villain has JJ+, I've seen villain play a premium pocket pair, this is not how he played it.

Board: Ad 3d 4h 8c Ks

BB Hero: Bet $40, I expect to get calls from low PP's, maybe an 8x
CO: Re-raise $140, villain didn't take long to do this, I would estimate, maybe 1 minute. Villain hides behind his sunglasses.

$350 in the pot total, I have to call $100 more. I have to be right approximately 30% of the time (if I did my math right) that villain does not have: All sets, two pair, straight. None of these lines make sense but maybe KK+, at most two pair would call, TP ok kicker would call, villains line seems odd. If villain has KK+/ AK, then villain really slow played in my opinion. I could get caught with my pants down on KK for a rivered set, villain does have range advantage.

Hero: I think for maybe 2 minutes or less, I make the call for $100 more.

Villain does not table hand right away, he seems scared of embarrassment. He is playing how I can play when I'm scared. Afraid of that embarrassment.

CO shows: 6c 4c
Hero BB: 10d 10h for the winner

#2

Hero (Straddle) $10: 5s 5c
Villain (1) UTG+1: Raise $30 Immediately on my left, this man is a true "whale". Normally plays $5-$10 (1500NL) Also very aggressive, I've played with him one other time for a bit, he c-bet me into an oblivion, each time I folded like a cheap suit. I don't think villain remembers me, I feel that hardly anyone at this table pays enough attention to the game as I do, even with the 3 "**** regs" here.

Multiple callers: I believe it was HJ, Button, and BB call.
Hero (Straddle): Call another $20

$155 to the Flop: 2c 2d 7c

BB: Check
Hero (straddle): Check
V 1: Bets $55

All other players fold.

Hero (straddle): calls another $55.

$265 to the Turn: 3h

Hero (straddle): Check
V 1: Check

$265 to the River: As

By this point I feel once again I pretty much have solely a bluff catcher, this villain barreled the flop, much like an over pair, but sizing did not make sense, like villain was trying to price himself into a flush draw. The check back IP by villain to me shows weakness, especially vs. this villain, I can see him barrelling a second time w/ any Ax truly worthy of an UTG+1 raise (GTO speaking of course).

Hero (straddle): Check
Villain hastily grabs a stack of chips, ones that are short of a standard $100/20 chips stack. He bets $80. Who would bet $80? Any 2 would bet, villain should have checked back the river, villain doesn't have many hands in his range that produce much equity, villain will have all Aces within range, but any Ace would have probably checked back to realize equity with a paired board, especially so early in the hand. If villain has a 2, if villain has a boat, if villain has quads, I guess I'll be paying villain off with this sick AF value bet, targeting specifically my holding and a weak Ace. A weak ace would probably not fold here, although villain doesn't know I'm capable of a call, he didn't see me play the other hero-call. If villain does in-fact remember me, villain will just barrel against me...I think. The line does not seem credible knowing everything I know about Villains patterns

Hero (straddle): Call $80
Villain 1: "You are good, I missed." Villain shows Kc 8c for a missed flush draw, I flip over 5s 5c for the winner. Villain mutters a bunch of **** under his breath, I stack MY chips, the game continues.

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I'm really liking this patience things, just think thru the hands, mamacita, I'm going to patiently wait for you too. I'm giving you that time away from me.

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Not many other hands of note-worthy, maybe 1, but I think I only tabled one losing hand the entire 4hrs. I think of the entire table as if I would see it on Ignition, I keep a very-low-profile at the table, I get some social anxiety, it helps me with my navigation thru the hands when I imagine I'm at a table on Ignition instead.

sick hero calls! I really like how you explained out your thought process for each hand, definitely something I can learn from and really elevate my own thought process.

subbed

BI: $600
Cash Out: $2100

Bankroll TOTAL: $3940

“Like shooting fish in a barrel.”

Went to the casino yesterday for my usual 600NL game with $5/5 blinds. I was at work for quite a few days, did not have time to get to the casino or play much online. However, when I got off work in the morning, I couldn’t have been more thrilled to get back at it. In the morning I drove home, picked up a green tea-lemonade from Starbucks, listened to some LoFi, and started putting my head in the zone in anticipation of playing for 4 hours at the Casino. I reviewed my PFR, I played about 75 hands online, made a bad play, realized it was my “winners tilt” and made a conscious correction for the remaining hands. ****. Shower. Shave. Grabbed my things, and headed out the door for another disciplined day at the Casino.

When I put my name on the list I took a glance over to see what tables would possibly be available to me. One table in particular I did not want. Why? Because I was being weak. One player in particular I had played with months prior, he is an extremely aggressive player, put me in weird spots because of how aggressive he was and I just became passive in response to his style of play. Well, sure enough, my name gets called about 2 minutes later, and it’s two seats to his right. He has position.

The table dynamics stayed the same for the 4 hours that I played, lets break it down real quick for the 8-handed play from left to right:
1. Hero: (highly aggro, straddle almost every chance I had, probably plays more LAG’y then anything, decent)
2. Haz-Mat: (stack hovered around $1100 the entire game, nit, disrespectful towards dealer, wears a windbreaker with a hood on and an unnecessarily tight n-95 mask, looks like a “soccer dad” that’s scared of pesticides, lots of fold equity)
3. Kinesh’s fat uncle: (the highly aggro player I was nervous to play with, will play any two cards, uses a large stack for aggression, no problem with running massive bluffs, when he senses weakness, he will pounce, can also make “big” folds, likes to “build the pot” with lots of speech play)
4. OMC-1: (Uber nit, only really raise with a premium holding, AJs+, AQo+, JJ+, lots of fold-equity on this player, his tells are his sizing, will open in any position with $30-40 based on holding I suspect)
5. Decent/ Good LAG for these stakes: (Me and this dude got a little history, we laugh with each other, but don’t speak to each other. He is good at identifying ranges of the rest of the table as well, makes good hero calls, can run bluffs, can make big folds too, I like playing with him, makes me think way more)
6. OMC-2: ***MAIN VILLAIN FOR FOLLOWING HANDS***(Nit, will play just about any Ace. Slow plays his super-premium holdings KK+/ AK, 3-bet or open with AQ/AJs+)
7. Decent TAG: (Never got out of line, will play TAG with his strong hands, no problem folding trash/ un-made hands)
8. Decent TAG/OMC: (Never really out of line either, will also play TAG style, but he can’t lay down his premium holdings)

So now that we got the table texture all situated, lets jump into the hands. The two hands that I picked this go-around is one that I made a terrible call and lost a good sized pot, and the next is what I think is an exploitative over-fold, but was the right move. Both hands are vs. the same player.



Hand #1: Very early in the session, maybe about 30 minutes in, starting to really identify the different players.

SB: Kinesh’s fat uncle
BB: OMC-1
Straddle (UTG): Good/Decent LAG
UTG+1: OMC-2
LJ: Decent TAG
HJ: Decent TAG/OMC
CO: Hero
BU: Haz-Mat

UTG+1 OMC-2 (~$280ish Effective): limps in for $10
CO Hero (~$800): (Kc 10d) folds to me in the CO, I raise to $40
UTG/Straddle LAG (~$1000): Calls another $30
UTG+1 OMC-2: Calls another $30

$130 to the flop: Kd Qc 4d

UTG/Straddle LAG: Bets $55

UTG+1 OMC-2: Re-raise $180 more for a total of $235 and is now ALL-IN
****Now this part is the important part*** I’m observing you, I see everything you do while in that hand, I’ve tagged you as this OMC-2. I seen you slow play AK on a very connected board and got the bare minimum vs. the LAG. I’ve marked you. I have good instincts about this stuff in a cash game setting I feel. Watching this player re-raise, he had this extremely puzzled look; simply put, it looked forced. Furrowed his brow, put his hand over his chin like the emoji when you search “thinking”, this all looked very unnatural.

Hero CO: I sit for a bit and think, what does the LAG Donk bet with and what is the OMC-2 Re-raising with. My mental state was not 100% good here, I knew you (OMC-2) had a massive holding, but I just thought he could be on a massive draw as well. I doubt this specific player would play a set this way, doubt he would play two pair this way, he really enjoys “slow playing”. LAG seems to be on some sort of draw, maybe a weak King or Queen, but can have a set of 4’s in his straddle 3B calling range. I would assume he would 3-bet PF with any AQ+/ 99+. Considering all this, I make the call for $235, TP ok Kicker.

UTG/Straddle LAG: Thinks for a while, ask if he calls will I check it down with, I say no, confirms my suspicions he is probably on a draw. He laughs a bit, thinks a bit more, then makes the fold.

$555 to the Turn: Jd

$555 to the River: 7c

Hero CO: I never play the “let me see what I have” game. I flip over my TP ok Kicker, I honestly thought I might be good.
OMC-2: Stares for a while at the board, then very calmly flips over his Pocket Aces for the winner.

I tell him good hand underneath my breath, and he grabs MY chips. He sort of seems smug about it all. I don’t like this. You are a target now and will forever be a target. You are now a nemesis. I had the reads for what would have been an exploitative fold, I did not listen to them, I did not exercise that patience I need. That patience I’m learning to have. I let my mental game be weak and called with something I knew was skeptical to begin with. As he swiped the pot, I took a deep breath, told myself that I need to continue to just make good plays, that this will happen, this is the part of poker I have a hard time with: I did not deserve that pot. We moved onto the next hand, and it actually took restraint to fold the next hand, even though it was garbage, I wanted to “get lucky” against him, but I would have just said it was “good playing” if I did. I’m such a ****ing idiot, because it would have been dumb playing instead. So, I folded instead. I continued to fold my hands until I got a playable one…and the game continued.

Hand #2: Probably about 3hrs into the session, all my labels on players are pretty correct, no one is deviating far from their labels.

SB Hero (~$1500): (Qc Qh) post $5
BB Haz-Mat: post $5
UTG Kinesh’s fat uncle: Limp for $5
UTG+1 OMC-1: Fold
LJ Good/Decent LAG (~$1200): Raise $25
HJ OMC-2 (~$600): Smooth calls $25
CO Decent TAG: Folds
BU Decent TAG/OMC: Folds
SB Hero: I already know I’m 3-betting this, especially since I’m in the SB. 3-bet or fold in this specific scenario because of premium holding, plus I have a sticky aggro player to my left that will call trash to outplay IP vs. me in any sort of way. I 3-bet to $75.

UTG Kinesh’s fat uncle: States how he just wants to see a flop, but not worth it, and folds.

LJ Good/Decent LAG: smooth calls $75, now I think he calls my 3-bet because by this point I’ve been 3-betting a fair amount and straddling just about every hand. He knows I like action. He enjoys playing pots with me. I feel he enjoys it because of the mental games as well, it’s like two predators that just respect each other. I’ve also had QQ about 3x in the last 30-40 minutes, so he probably thinks I’m getting out of line. Also because I called a 3-bet earlier in a multi-way pot with 8d 7d and made the nut straight on a massive 18 out draw I had with a pair on the board. Turned a 6 for the straight and grabbed about a $1k pot early in the game.

HJ OMC-2: Smooth calls as well for another $75

~$235ish multi-way to the Flop: 7h 4d 6h

LJ Good/ Decent LAG: Check

HJ OMC-2: Now I watch this old asian man again. He does almost the exact same mannerisms as the previous hand that he won against me. I watch him closely. I study him. He thinks for a while. He casually grabs $75, and tosses it in the pot. HE HAS A ****ING MONSTER, maybe?

CO Hero: I think again. I have a PREMIUM holding. I don’t take long, and I call another $75.

LJ Good/Decent LAG: Folds

~$385ish to the Turn: 9d

HJ OMC-2: His mannerism mimic his monster holding he had last time. I’m very suspicious. This NIT doesn’t have the balls to bluff. His bluffs have all been the most weakest bets I’ve seen, and he looks like a scary ***** when he bluffs. He is radiating confidence. He casually grabs 2 $100 chips and throws it in the pot. He forces himself to have a face and put his hands in a way that is almost like “hmmm, well, I guess I’ll bet”. NOT TODAY MF’er!!!!!!!!

CO Hero: I think for probably 3 minutes. I have a damn good hand on this board, I see that OMC has about ~$200 back. He wants me to call, he wants me to push all-in, he’s waiting. What he doesn’t know is that I have the discipline to fold a monster as well. I can be good enough. It is hard though. He’s like a zebra hiding in the rain forest….it just doesn’t make ****ing sense. I fold.
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I truly think I made a good fold here. This SPECIFIC villain plays like this. He has a pattern. He’s too much of a little wimp to deviate. He is scared. It sucked folding here. Maybe I was wrong. I just really don’t think I was.

About 30 minutes later though, I stacked OMC-2. He had an Overpair while I was in the straddle and I flopped 2 pair with 8s 5s on an 8h 5h 6d board. Watching him in complete shock as I grabbed MY chips was truly euphoric. I enjoyed watching him look like he was completely defeated. OMC-2 said “lock it” and re-loaded. I didn’t get much more out of him, I ended up leaving shortly after. Another win in the books. These people are predictable. It’s just a game of patterns. I like patterns.

***I wrote almost everything out for a played hand, took about 2 hours, refreshed the wrong page, lost all info, not going to type it out again right now, I have to be in a certain state to do it, it makes me consider my entire mindset, it takes alot out of me***

Sorry I just don't have the "strength" to type it all out again, when I type, it just flows out of me while I wait for the "solver" to solve it and find where I went wrong. It was a big hand I made, solver told me I was -0.13 below EV.

Villain-BB
Hero-UTG+1

Made an overbet on the turn, the EV's between a "check" back vs. overbet was actually 1 point of EV within each other.Villain put me ALL-in, to the River, should have just folded.

Rollercoaster of a session, down to $350 after two bullets at one point, got back to $1050 for a loss of $180.

BI:$600 + 1 Re-buy ($640)
Cash Out: $1050 for a loss of $180

LIVE Bank Roll: $3760

Online: Kind of weird right now, worked a bunch, so havn't had the opportunity to play much. Also was going thru an account transition because Ignition stopped taking BTC, but still takes it in some weird way, they had to re-create my account and lost track of about 100 hands because of the transition. Probably by Sunday I will try to upload some graphics and figure that out. Bummed I spent all that time thinking deeply about the hand I lost, to accidentally delete all my thoughts.

Well, on to the next, sorry...if anyone but me even reads this. ha

BI: $600 + Rebuy ($640)
Cash Out: $325

Bankroll TOTAL: $3025

“Love is a Battlefield.”

Playing 600NL. I was out fighting at the felt today. A few coolers, one I for sure should have gotten away from (full house vs. Quads), I had a read, and I made a bad call. My dumbass didn’t trust myself. I was right, and I just assumed he would bluff this spot with how the hand played. I have not been that prevalent on the Online front, and I need to study more. I’ve been very busy these past couple days. Why not go play with some ****-regs and assert my dominance?

As per usual, I’m straddling like a MoFo. I seem to be always considered aggressive at the table. One man makes a comment on how I play. I love it. He fears me at the table. I love playing my straddle. I love playing vs. these typical $5/5 players. I love looking like a maniac, straddling, attacking, putting your mind in the F***ing blender! BUT, sometimes the fish gets eaten, and that I did.

The hand I bring to the table is not a cooler, it’s a massive bluff gone wrong…my read was right, but this human called my massive bluff, do I bluff too much?

8-handed

UTG Surprisingly decent player-Fold
UTG+1 Nit-Fold
LJ-Nit-Fold
HJ-Goldfish-Limp $5
CO (Hero $750)-(6h 4h) Raise $25. By this point I’m considered very aggressive, sort of running over most the table, playing a few 3-bet pots, love defending my straddle. By this point many of these “regs”, do not enjoy the spots I put them in, I love it however, oh, how I LOVE it. Why did I raise this hand? Because I have massive fold-equity on this entire ****ing table.
Button-Fold
SB-Fold
BB (Villain $650)-Calls $25This villain seems like the only TRUE “good reg” at the table. The way he protects his cards, his stoic demeanor, his quick decision AND correct decision making. He seems like a worthy ally. I’ve seen him play hands, he can be aggressive as well. RESPECT.

$65 To the Flop: 2h 3h Ks

BB Villain-Check
CO Hero-Now this is where I screwed up to begin with, I’m noticing my OWN patters. My constant failures. Why the hell do I do this knowing I’m not good most the time? But I know where he is…I think. I CHECK behind after some contemplation.

$65 To the Turn: 7s

BB Villain-Bet $80. Nice overbet sir, I am counting how much money is in there, do you have a King? Lets think about this. Who overbets here? Slow played set. A7 may bet sometimes. A3/ A2 probably won’t bet most the time. Unless villain did not 3-bet TT+/ I doubt he has KK. I also think villain is capable of betting any 88/99. I also think villain is capable of doing this with any Ax suited in general. Villain is capable of playing the board+range.
CO Hero-Call $80. I have 9+4=13 outs. 26% to Call, do I have this equity here? YES! Doing some Poker Cruncher math. My range vs. my opponents range I have 53% vs Villain 47%. CALL ALL DAY.

$225 To the River: 9c

BB VIllain-Check
CO Hero-Bet $155. Well, here we are again, another missed flush. Truthfully, like I said, I only raised because I got lots of FE. This villain is solid though. Smart little man you are. I like playing with you. I also know where I am in the hand. BEHIND. I have no showdown value, what can villain have though? Well, all the hands that I stated, but 99 is definitely within his range. BUT that would mean villain would have to have 99 here, villain would knowingly have the best hand and re-raise me. Villain checks, double missed board. Villain should be getting value with a King here, villain missed too. Villain did barrel with air, villain has nothing. I know your exact range pinpointed. I barrel.

Villain is in the blender now, villain thinks. Villain continues to think. What could villain have that he is thinking with. Villain surely doesn’t think I would barrel with anything short of a 7, but in this spot HERO would most likely check back to realize equity at the river. Slow played King on a Flush board, unless I have Kh, I would not barrel here, would I? Buttttttt, I would have bet my hand on the flop. Does a 9 ever bet here? I think a 9 would, a 9 has lots of showdown value, however, $175 is probably not a 9. $175 is TT+/ Kx. Did I really slow play this weak ass King, on this weak ass board?

BB Villain-Calls $175

Hero shows missed hand, villain flips over As Ts for Ace high hero call. HOLY CRAP, what a hero call, talking thru my own hand. Writing it out. I see where I got wrong…I honestly could have gone smaller vs. THIS SPECIFIC player. He knew where I was in my line, I truly believe a value around $60-80 would have gotten this player to fold, a value of a 7 or 9.

Well played sir. Well played.

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Poker is telling a story, I miss the story I was creating with the woman I wanted. Kids. What a difficult decision. I do want them though, You created this new found “emotion” in me. Weird. I got told I know what “unconditional Love” is, never thought I would be someone capable of knowing that. Woman I’m not bluffing here, I do want you, I’m just so confused in my own line. This self-reflection is new. It is exciting. It is scary.

When you think poker think about it like this : bimbimbimbimbimbimbim and then you decide

If you think like this : blablalbalblabla but blablablalbla but blablalbalbalabla

you end having infinite amount of inner conflict and it destroys your thought process + your learning process

Same goes with the woman and all that other stuff

Endlessly thinking of 0ev choices instead of just deciding and then evaluating later and learning

Problems are in your first sentence of this thread : you have a strange relationship between yourself and your thoughts thinking there is something so special about them when in reality its just thoughts which everyone has

2nd. probably your job is neither so great

I get you. Good thing I’m not really making this for people as I am making it for myself. Helps me identify my own mental leaks/ game leaks and correct them on future streets with the help of poker solving software.

Also, in regards to my job. Hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahaha.

Of course the inner conflict exists. But what separates a guy like Adelstein vs. many other pros is that ability to hone what his inner conflict is, understand where he is in the hand, and act appropriately. Not saying I’m G-man by any means, but I hope to continue to study and resemble something of the mad man.

Happy grinding sir, and Merry Christmas yah Filthy animal.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0iu...=RangerUpVideo

GET TOUGHER

I feel like you must know me. My dick got hard watching this.

Semper Fi.

---------------------------------

BI: $600 + 1.5ish Rebuy's ($900)
Cash Out: $0

Bank Roll Total: $1525

1.5hrs (WEAKKKKKKK)

"Ice Ice Baby"

Ahhhhh Damnit. Online has been like shooting fish in a barrel, and LIVE has been sad. I don't play perfect by any means, but sometimes I really got to just ****ing fold. ESPECIALLY at the $5/5 600NL level. I spent about 1.5hrs at the Casino and blew thru more money in that time then I could even realize for how fast it went. Not much to say but WTF. Sucks, after the 2nd massive cooler, I gave about $7 to the dealer, told the villain "Nice hand" (it really was) and walked out. I may not know when to always fold them, but I at least know when to walk away.

For the villain in this hand, it's the same man I lost the first cooler too. QQ vs. KK about 30min into the session.

My first mistake. Not 3-betting in the BB.

UTG-NIT
UTG+1-Solid Reg, I've played pots with this guy, only dude who can throw me for a loop sometimes
LJ-Passive Reg
HJ-"****-reg" legit tried to make it look like he's Neve played this game in the beginning of it, I don't think anyone fell for his bullshit
CO-"**** reg" weak, passive, serial limper
BU Villain-Decent Reg, not good, you can tell he's uncomfortable playing 3-bet pots when he doesn't have a premium
SB-Will barrel with air just to "c-bet" on any board as the pre-flop aggressor
BB Hero-8c 7c

By this time, still considered aggressive, table is pretty passive. Folding to lots of 3-bets. Lost a cooler. Maybe slightly tilting. Had many hands like KJ losing to JT for two pair and the like, not making disciplined folds. Probably lost about $200 from over calling at this point. Not huge, and given great odds in many spots, but just could not connect with the board or make any hand. Villain is some hippy looking dude that plays decent. I would not say he plays well, although he did stack me twice. Some inconsistencies in his lines, easy to bluff off a hand; definitely under barrel for a c-bet, scared to play some pots OOP, loves to call from the blinds.

2 Limpers to the button w/ blinds money in
BU Villain- Raise $25
SB-Call $25
BB Hero-Call $25. I called here simply because I've been 3-betting too much I feel. I'm hyper aggressive, but should have not let that slow me down and 3-bet this because I also know I have massive FE vs. these two villains. I call instead, weak choice, solver does not approve either.


$90 roughly to the Flop: 7h 10h 4d

SB-Check
BB Hero-Check
BU Villain-Check

Watching and learning about Pluribus AI, SHE bets actually fairly frequently when connecting to a board even OOP as just he pre-flop caller. BU range is wide, BU can be opening with many hands here. This villain I do not think has the balls to open with any 2, because he is scared overall, but he still has plenty of 10's and some 7's in his range. Also has a few 4's that I'm beating.

~$90 roughly to the Turn: Js

SB-Check
BB Hero-Check
BU Villain-$35

SB-Folds
BB Hero-I call one time for $35 against this villain. This villain would have bet any strong hand/ made hand on the flop, I don't believe villain has a J here unless he has JT/ QJ/ KJ/ AJ. I also have seen villain play, on TP, he will bet VERY STRONG. Mathematically I need 20% to call? Is that right? Running this hand thru the solver right now.

$160 to the River
BB Hero-Overbet for $300, Now I know I made my straight on a very disgusting board. Villain can have many TPTK, two pair, he can have sets, villain HAS to have Q8 here for the mortal nuts. Villain can have an 8 here, so maybe we chop. I hope villain views this as a bluff and just pays me off.
BU Villain-puts me all-in for another $325.

$460 total with villain to go all-in for another $325, for a total of $325 to win another $785. Now would villain play Q8 this way? You damn sure he would. WTF was I thinking. In hindsight, the hand is face up AF. I can't even believe I called. He has to have Q8 here, this villain would call me if it was a chop. Villain is not strong enough mentally or as a player to re-raise without having the nuts. I got a good hand, just not the nuts. I gave villain opportunities to get there, should have followed a pluribus AI model and just bet my 7 and live to fight another day. I don't take long to think:

I call.

Villain shows Qd 8d, I tell him "thats a nice hand sir, two massive coolers and I should leave", shove my chips in the center, and know when I need to walk away. I would have only lost another $300 if I could fold that hand. I knew villain had to have the absolute nuts to re-raise me, just couldn't believe I was going to lose that pot, same mistakes as calling quads. I should have saved a few hundred if I wasn't a ****ing calling station to these dudes. I'm not. Why is my mental game all ****ed? I think I'm getting to cocky online, running over most the field and it's super easy. The ability to play online and without someone "watching" me I think creates almost this sense of security that I'm having trouble of getting away from in LIVE poker. LIVE poker though is truly much easier. I've played a decent amount of hours LIVE and the general population is pretty much a ****ing joke. ONLINE is definitely harder, and I legit play LIVE like I'm playing ONLINE, and I truly believe thats where I'm going wrong. ONLINE players have a horrible bluffing %, LIVE players have about 2x as worse. I pick off bluffs pretty well ONLINE, but LIVE, no one ****ing bluffs...hardly...and if they do, their lines are egregiously poor. Almost super POLARIZED to a bluff, very rarely will they slow play a great hand, often they are scared for their opponent to get there. I need to be over-folding MUCH MUCH MUCH more in LIVE. Part of studying all these solver solutions is understanding where I am in the hand. Some days, I just don't have it, I know that, but back to me thinking I "deserve the pot". I don't WTF am I thinking? Only one hand plays like this at $5/5 and its Q8. I should have had the discipline to fold that, I've studied this spot many times. Villain would never shove vs. my raise here unless he has the balls to represent Q8. Villain is wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to passive as a player to ever represent anything but the nuts here. I need to fold more. That's how I need to exploit this field more, I need to fold more. Over-fold. However, keep my bluff-catchers in my quiver, and for any egregious mistakes by villain, find my line, and if need be, correctly bluff catch. Villains at the $5/5 600NL level hardly, (if ever), have the balls to run any sort of bluff for any decent part of their stack if they are not the Effective stack with almost 50bb or less. Villains are incredibly weak here, I need to overfold and c-bet more in multi-way pots if I connect. Pluribus is a wonderful tool to learn from.

All-in-all, not mad. Was a little disappointed. I knew my QQ is good most the time, and my straight should be good most the time too. Just not this time. Sucks. But that's life. Future lessons, FOLD. ONLINE I can fold all day until I get a hand I can play, LIVE, much harder because the pace is so much slower I feel. Training my body to not be so anxious, its exhausting sitting at the table with your HR doing 120BPM for 4hrs.

Folding is important

Try wim-hof breathing before go casino , should help anxiety + get a cold shower and few push-ups

I think you improved thought-process reading latest hand dialysis , thinking enough to have a process but not then changing it all around