Monday Session

$1324.80 in buy ins, $1624.17 in returns, $299.37 profit. 23 MTTs (18 entries and 5 re-entries but I'm just going to combine the 2 for now on) and 1 spin (won a $40 spin ($10 buy in) this afternoon when I was bored).

I won the Party $55 turbo for $900 and realized that I play too nitty on Party. The best reason I can explain is the software has made me gunshy--that feeling of bluffing and getting called and being out of the tournament, all simultaneously because of their graphics, I think had subconsciously worked it's way into my mind and stopped me from playing appropriately. I think I played better on Party today.

I folded KK pre today in the Stars 10K. Pretty sure that's the first time I've done that in NJ poker in a non-satty.

Had heaps in the WSOP 10K and busted 10th after shoving 94o in the BB for 12bbs or so (which was about average at our table). The SB had been stalling every single hand from 12 players down and absolutely destroying the structure of an already poorly structured MTT. He'd also limp/folded SB with very shallow stacks quite a few times. I felt confident that he was not balancing his limping range at all and would simply shove his strong hands. I was wrong, as he snapped off KK after limping and held.

Had the chip lead at the final table of the Stars $50 turbo but after losing a pretty standard AQ to AK I lost a pretty standard AQ to JJ and that was that. I mincashed a $10r on WSOP in pretty ridiculous fashion...with 8 left I folded a few spots that are pretty easy chip EV get ins but I thought would be ICM suicide. Eventually I got JT in vs A4 blind vs blind for 8bbs each vs the other short stack and lost, only to realize that 8 cashed as opposed to the 7 I'd thought. Whoops. $67.50 I didn't think I was gonna have though.

Battled for a really long time in a $20 MTT on Stars before bowing out in 4th. I was tied for 3rd with 1st and 2nd having about 5 times more than me and the other shorty, and proceeded to watch him chop KJ to KQ then chop AJ to AQ and then come from behind again for a full double, which was doubly tilting since I'm in a bit of a battle right now for the Stars monthly leaderboard with one of the guys who was chip leading. I'll get more into that later.

Mincashed a $20 turbo on Stars and basically mincashed a small $25 mtt on WSOP. I felt good with how I played, I think I acted appropriately when negative variance hit, and probably ran pretty good overall the whole session. I do feel bad that I FT bubbled the WSOP 10K but I actually don't feel any regret about the 94o shove; it does suck that I did it with a hand with really no equity but given my read I think it's very profitable. If I know he's limping KK well then it might not be profitable anymore, but with what I knew at the time I felt okay about it.

PokerStars NJ Monthly Leaderboard

I imagine I will fizzle out of this similarly to how I fizzled out of the WSOP yearlong competition after a fast start in January, but it's fun to look at for now. The guy I'm battling with is actually a friend from Ramapo who used to deal the home games I'd play in there. Add Yong in and 30% of the top 10 come from that Ramapo game at the moment. It seems like the formula gives a lot of points for wins and gives a lot of points for big fields. The buy in is relevant but if you put volume in the midstakes MTTs it seems like you're very capable of competing with guys only playing high stakes MTTs. Last month the winner (Yong) had 3800 points with 2nd finishing with 3400. 5 days into the month I have 1750, putting me halfway to last month's 2nd place finisher. I finished 28th last month at 2250 for perspective on the volume I've started this month out with.

The winner of the leaderboard gets $1500 in tournament dollars, 2nd gets $1000, 3rd gets $750, 4th $500, 5th $400, 6th $300, 7th-10th $200, 11th-20th $100, 21st-30th $50, and 31st-60th $25. So those top spots are worth some pretty good money, which has led me to making sure I hop in all of the $15-$30 MTTs I might not usually play on PokerStars. All of this being said, I'm going to Parx on Wednesday so I'll certainly fall off the pace I've started with this month. If I have to play multiple days that could lead to missing a few days this week, and then I'll be back the next week for the $550, and the week after that is Christmas. BUT I will definitely get the volume in when I can.



As you can see, Ryan and I have pulled a bit ahead of 3rd and are running pretty well on Stars to start the month.

Also, after not working for me for quite some time, it looks like pics are loading properly onto this thread again! I'll try to liven it up a bit now that that's working again.

I'm excited about my game right now and am looking forward to continuing to try to improve by eating and sleeping well and focusing on the right things. With the $1000 gift and the small winning session today I'm up over $6000 now after 5 days of December. While this shouldn't be a main focus point, it's encouraging to see I can still do it. That being said, the less excited and concerned I get over seeing a good number next to the profit column, the better I will be equipped to deal with negative variance. So while I'm going to try to smash the rest of the month, I'm keeping it all in perspective going forward.

Thanks man! I'm working hard to make sure that I keep my mind under control regardless of what happens around me.

It's easy to do if you use "screen grabber" Gyazo and in the image insert, take a screen shot window, then copy address and insert in image , delete existing http:// and add .png after address.......easy game.

If you need further help pm me, we can skype/screen share to show you how easy it is. If olds can do it young ones can also

Thanks Doug. It's weird because imgur worked for me initially, then it stopped working, and now it's working again. So I guess if it stops working again I'll try other methods.

Both of my roommates came home at 2:30 today. As they explained, they had to be on the road, in trucks, delivering packages. Apparently working for UPS, regardless of what your position there is, requires you to deliver packages in December. When I asked why they got to come back so early, they explained they have to report to work at 3:30AM tomorrow to load trucks. God bless em.

At any rate, it allowed me and my roommate to go on a run together. He said he was doing 6 and I said **** it let's go. Luckily he didn't have any plans of running incredibly fast, as our first 2 miles were both in the 8:08 area. Our 3rd mile was all downhill and we split around 7:55. Since we were doing an out and back, it meant our 4th mile would be all uphill, and we also split it in 7:55, which requires a lot more effort since we're later into the run and going up instead of down (duh). Tee Dubs decided to really pick up the pace on mile 5 and I struggled to stay with the 7:35 split. Mile 6 involved us crossing an on and off ramp for a high, twice for both on and off, so after 5.5 we are back to 7:55 pace for the 6th mile. But again we blasted as soon as we got through that portion and finished the 6th mile in 7:40. We finished a little under 48 minutes.

Last month I ran a total of 23 miles, running 4 miles twice and 3 miles twice. So just randomly throwing a 6 miler in there is probably a bit silly but it's nice to see I can do it. After not running the first 5 days of the month, going 6 on day 6 allows me to get back on track for hitting 50 in the month. What I'm interested to see is if this run makes me feel more or less energized for my session tonight. I'm gonna make sure I go eat something, probably soup with toast and maybe some pizza rolls later. I might do what I did Sunday too and make a sandwich, plastic bag it, and put it in the fridge so I can grab it later on a break if I get hungry. So a reasonable meal plus a lot of water should get rid of that variable so I can really see if running energizes me to think more clearer, or just gets me really tired to the point I can't focus. I also think I'll have an easier time of properly judging these effects. In the past, I'd equate running bad with not being focused and playing bad. But now I think I'm confident enough in my game to realize that if I lose a lot of money tonight but play well that running did indeed help, even if results suggest it didn't. Excited to see how tonight goes. I'm on the edge of taking a shot at the Party $535. I felt like I played well in the Stars $500 on Sunday and I think I've been playing in general this month, all of which adds up to a good reason to take a shot. With the bankroll back to the $33K region, $535 is 1.6% of the roll, which isn't that far over my 1% rule. Right now I'm thinking it's about 2:1 against me playing but if I'm feeling really good tonight (I'll start at 7:00 and that MTT starts at 8:00) then I'll fire it up. Otherwise it'll just be the $250 Super Tuesday on Stars along with the other daily MTTs.

Tuesday's Session

I'm quite upset right now over how my night finished up. The fact that I'm upset shows that I'm still really far from where I want to be when it comes to the mental aspect of the game, but the fact that I'm figuring it out and putting it into words shows that I'm a lot further along than I was even in the recent past.

I had the chip lead at the final table of the $250 Stars Super Tuesday, the Party Poker $109 10K, and was close to the lead at the FT in the WSOP $30r 10K. I was also comfortably in 2nd with 9 left in the $100 2nd chance, had the chip lead at a very soft $20 Stars tourney FT, made the final 2 tables of the Stars $100 10K, and the final 2 tables of the $50 6 max on Stars.

I finished 2nd in the $20 tourney against a very poor player heads up after starting with the chip lead, and did not finish in the top 3 of any of the other tournaments. With a large CL in the Super Tuesday I defended JT and then c/shoved AQ9; villain was close in chips with 2 or 3 other players and I thought I'd get him to fold pretty much everything that wasn't Ax, and maaaaybe some Ax (probably not though). He made the easy call with AQ, I bricked the 30% shot, and fell back to the middle of the pack (still quite close to the chip lead though).

This is the hand that led to me throwing a chip across the room. I'll explain why it bothered me so much (aside from the obvious reason that it crippled my stack) after the hand:

***** Hand History for Game 1111111111 ***** (Poker Stars)
Tourney Hand NL Texas Hold'em - Wednesday, December 07, 12:41:02 ET 2016
Table 995298208 1 (Real Money)
Seat 8 is the button
Seat 3: Player3 ( 205242 ) - VPIP: 17, PFR: 14, 3B: 7, AF: 2.2, Hands: 1275
Seat 4: Player4 ( 307740 ) - VPIP: 26, PFR: 15, 3B: 7, AF: 1.7, Hands: 1893
Seat 5: Player5 ( 283936 ) - VPIP: 29, PFR: 21, 3B: 9, AF: 3.0, Hands: 1393
Seat 6: Hero ( 367546 ) - VPIP: 27, PFR: 19, 3B: 8, AF: 2.1, Hands: 92107
Seat 7: Player7 ( 281812 ) - VPIP: 15, PFR: 11, 3B: 5, AF: 11.0, Hands: 352
Seat 8: Player8 ( 428724 ) - VPIP: 24, PFR: 14, 3B: 7, AF: 2.9, Hands: 1940
900 chip ante
Player3 posts small blind [4500].
Player4 posts big blind [9000].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Hero [ Ts Tc ]
Player5 raises [18000]
Hero raises [47500]
Player7 folds
Player8 folds
Player3 folds
Player4 folds
Player5 raises [73300]
Hero raises [319146]
Player5 calls [191736]
Hero wins 83610
** Dealing Flop ** [ Qc, 9d, Jd ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 3c ]
** Dealing River ** [ 6s ]
Player5 shows [Ks, Kc ]
Hero shows [Ts, Tc ]
Player5 wins 584972 from main pot

Quick note before I get into it: his 4b size is 91,300; the HEM software displays the number he added to what he already had out there, which is really annoying. But he goes 91,300 over my 47,500 3b.

So he opens UTG to 18K, and I think my decision between flatting and 3 betting is close. Early in an MTT I think 3b/calling is pretty standard at a 6 handed table against this villain at this stack depth, but with the ICM implications in play here, it's a lot closer. Calling might be best. But if I choose to 3b, the plan has to be to call off his 4b shove, since it's a very clear shove or fold spot for him since he started the hand 31bbs deep.

And then he 4b's small. So this is one of those spots I seem to run into a lot against the NJ regs, who don't understand the theory of balancing bet sizes and ranges and all that. Or, maybe they do understand but don't feel the need to ever use it in practice, because NJ regs are exploiting 100% of the time. I've started to realize this and have begun exploiting their exploitative play (if that makes any sense). An example of exploiting someone who is constantly trying to exploit me (villain is actually Ryan who I mentioned in the previous post):

***** Hand History for Game 1111111111 ***** (Poker Stars)
Tourney Hand NL Texas Hold'em - Tuesday, December 06, 07:54:40 ET 2016
Table 995298662 2 (Real Money)
Seat 5 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ( 8782 ) - VPIP: 27, PFR: 19, 3B: 8, AF: 2.1, Hands: 92107
Seat 2: Player2 ( 31318 ) - VPIP: 41, PFR: 20, 3B: 0, AF: 5.3, Hands: 88
Seat 3: Player3 ( 6245 ) - VPIP: 22, PFR: 15, 3B: 9, AF: 3.9, Hands: 2309
Seat 4: Player4 ( 11042 ) - VPIP: 16, PFR: 9, 3B: 3, AF: 7.0, Hands: 158
Seat 5: Player5 ( 16857 ) - VPIP: 23, PFR: 15, 3B: 7, AF: 2.4, Hands: 2830
Seat 6: Player6 ( 23313 ) - VPIP: 20, PFR: 15, 3B: 5, AF: 2.4, Hands: 722
Player6 posts small blind [200].
Hero posts big blind [400].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Hero [ 9d Jc ]
Player2 folds
Player3 folds
Player4 folds
Player5 raises [800]
Player6 folds
Hero calls [400]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Js, Qd, Kd ]
Hero checks
Player5 checks
** Dealing Turn ** [ 5s ]
Hero checks
Player5 bets [1428]
Hero calls [1428]
** Dealing River ** [ 4h ]
Hero checks
Player5 bets [14579]
Hero calls [6504]
Player5 wins 8075
Player5 shows [7h, 8h ]
Hero shows [9d, Jc ]
Hero wins 17964 from main pot

He and another Ryan that I'm friendly with take lines like this against me all the time. I'm not sure if this is just due to the fact that they're both overaggressive in general or that they really think it's a good exploit against me. I have a reputation for being a nit because I tell everyone I'm a nit and let them know I always have it.



It'll be interesting to see how all these dynamics play out in the future. I haven't ever thought about the game in the way I've been thinking about it the last few weeks and it's been allowing me to see things a lot more clearly.

But anyway, back to the TT Super Tuesday hand. The plan was to 3b/call off, so it would've been a cooler anyway. So why was I so mad that I lost this hand? Well, the ridiculously bad and obvious and exploitable 4b click back gives me a chance to re-evaluate my thought process. He's jamming all of his non nutted value hands. All pairs that he decides to go with are all in, aside from AA, KK, and maaaaaaaybe QQ. JJ is in for sure. He's also not trying to induce a spaz when he had AK, he's just sending it in. So he's got 12 value combos for sure and maybe up to 18; let's give him 15 for simplicity's sake.

So it comes down to the question of how many bluff combos does he have. I'm not sure the exact math on figuring out exactly how many bluffs he'd need to have here to make the shove breakeven (since when I shove I only win his 4b, not the whole stack, and when he calls I still have 20% equity). But let's just say he needs 15 combos to balance out those value combos with. I just don't think he's bluffing here, like ever. Maybe he is and I'm biased since I saw KK this time. I'd 3b him a few times earlier when I was the big chip leader and he made comments on the table to the effect of, "ugh, why did they have to put me on your right?" So I felt like if someone was going to 4b click light against me it might be him. But not in this spot. Not for this sizing. Everything screamed I have the nuts and I couldn't find the fold.

I'm not sure if I should beat myself up about it though. Again, if he shoves, now he can have all the 88/99/AK/AQ, etc that makes the call a pretty standard one. So on one hand I can look at it as a cooler since, if he doesn't try to get all cute with the small 4b, he gets my stack anyway. But on the other hand, if I make a really exploitable fold I can still potentially win $4000 more than I did tonight. It's a strange, strange spot that drives me nuts.

Tuesday Results

With about $1300 in buy ins and about $3250 in returns I made just under $2000 tonight. But did I leave money on the table, my lord. $4000 less than 1st in the $250, $2400 less than 1st in the WSOP 10K, $2000 less than 1st in the Party 10K, $1300 less than 1st in the Second Chance (which I final tabled for the 5th time in 5 tries this month--bubbled it yesterday though lol). That's a shade under $10K less than max on the day. Obviously it's insane to think you can win every tourney but I did have the chip lead in all of these and finished 6th, 7th, 4th, and 6th respectively. I keep telling myself the results don't matter, and they don't, but tonight definitely stung quite a bit. The adrenaline of playing 4 final tables, 3 of which had a ton of money up top, at the same time while feeling pretty tired since it was midnight and I went on the run today, led to me throwing something. It bothers me that that's still happening, but given the unusual circumstances and the fact that I didn't actually break anything, I feel like I'll give myself a pass.

After I busted everything in a flash and was left 4 handed in the Party 10K with 80K at 8Kbb (when I'd had 300K a few minutes earlier), I stopped and took some deep breaths. I tried stalling since we were 7 minutes away from break. I think I did a very good job of realizing how important it was to keep my head on straight with a $2000 difference between 1st and 4th. I jammed AQs for 10BBs 2 minutes before the break and lost a flip to 55, but had I won that flip there would have been a chance that really calming myself down like that and getting to the break could have led to an even bigger day.

Parx $340

I'm going to try to leave the house by 10AM tomorrow to get to Parx around 11:30. I'll probably actually go to the Friday's on the corner there to get a good lunch before I start. I think I've been playing really well so far this month and I want to try to keep that momentum going tomorrow. I really really want to bag tomorrow so I can play online Thursday (since the Thrill runs that night) and potentially the other 2 days (though I think I'll take off Saturday to go to the city either way, unless I haven't bagged in the first 3 flights in which case I'll be at Parx). Back to the live grind tomorrow.

Two things I didn't mention in the last post:

1) I ran extraordinarily well today and if I made it sound like I was complaining about that aspect of the game AT ALL in the last post then I apologize. I was on a massive heater and just felt bummed I didn't close anything.

2) Despite not closing anything, I cashed a ton of tourneys on Stars to build a decent lead on the field for the December leaderboard. That being said, GUUUULP grinds hard, as do some other guys near the bottom 10, so I wouldn't be surprised if he catches me soon since I'll be missing tomorrow night and potentially more nights in the future to play live. Here's the update 6 days into the month (again, 3800 was the winner last month with 2nd at 3400):

Whats the reward for the TLB? Pretty sure we have no TLB anymore on stars.com so just wondering

GL this month broski

Thanks Josh. Think I outlined all the payouts in a previous post but winner gets $1500, 2nd $1000, etc with 60 total paying.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Parx $340, Day 1

I won't get as detailed as I often do with the live tourney recaps, but I will throw chip pics in since I finally have that ability again. 30K starting stack and I arrived at the start of 150/300/50. By dinner break (end of 500/1000) I had 60K and was at a new table.

I think I played pretty well, got lucky in a spot or two, and then found QsQd at 1K/2K with about 70K to start the hand. I raise to 4500 from HJ and get 3 flats. Flop comes Js4s2s. I c-bet 9K, guy on my left with just less than I have makes it 25K, I shove, he calls with AA, no spade. It was an interesting spot for him to flat pre but given the guy on his left had been incredibly active and was a good candidate to squeeze in this spot, I think it was a pretty cool time to get tricky with his hand. We got the excited 4x As runout for my flush to lose to his full house to leave me with 7300 chips.

I get KK next hand (lol), shove, BB snap calls to the point that I know he is huge and is going to be disappointed. I hold vs QQ. I now have about 18K and from here until the end of the day for me is where I think I have possibly improved the most and have a gigantic edge on anyone else who finds themselves in this spot. I picked my spots but didn't force anything; while I'm forced to sit next to a kid who has over 120K due to a spot where he's a 58/42 fave, it just completely does not bother me or make me feel like I need to rush with this 18K. I still have 18K at the final break of the day and will return to 1200/2400.

Back from break, I shove K8o in the HJ and get called by the BB's KJ. Board runs K8xxx and I double to over 30K. I fold a few more hands and laugh as I count my stack about 12 hands after the double:



After 9.5 hours I have starting stack. Alrighty, the grind continues. When they move me to a new table as the level is going up to 1500/3000 I still have exactly 30K.

To the new table, I get a few shoves through and eventually have 36K when it folds to my SB. I'm in the 9 so I have to peak around the dealer to see the stack of the BB, who is in the 1 seat. It appears he actually has 33K, so when I squeeze K6s I go all in. He calls quickly with AA and I jokingly tell him nice call; the table laughs. Again, this mindset is helping me tremendously as of late; I don't get upset that I'm going to be eliminated, I just have fun with it and realize that even though it looks lopsided, it's a standard cooler that can't be avoided. Pic of my stack after the hand:



My K6hh ran down his AcAd after the somewhat confusing QsTs9sJs8c runout. All of a sudden I had 25BBs again! The rest of the day was pretty smooth sailing. I won a flip vs a 9K shove from the button (the pot ends up being 25-30K though which is somewhat significant for my stack despite how small the all in was). I run a bluff with, funnily enough, K6s, where I peel BB, check back the Jd4d4s flop, bet half pot on the 5s turn and bet 2/3 pot on the 3d river (which was the plan after betting the turn). Kid folded and claimed QsTs so I guess I could've really binked that river . Later on a guy who'd been opening standard amounts sort of randomly opens 15K from EP at 4Kbb. Button flats and I squeeze AA in the SB. What a dream spot. I have about 120K and considered just ripping it in, as I'd do with most hands I'm going to 3b here, but decided to exploit and go 45K. Both opponents fold. By the end of the day I bag up 147.5K (after the chip race done after the pic):



Day 2 will start up on Sunday at noon. Ryan, my December Stars leaderboard nemesis, bagged over 4x as much as me, which is pretty absurd, and GUUUULP, as predicted, passed both of us while we were away. He currently has a 2436 to 2318 lead on me, with Ryan at 1886 and 4th at 1402. I'll be playing tonight (including the Thursday Thrill I won last week) but will most likely be taking tomorrow off and possibly Friday as well. If I go deep at Parx then Sunday will also be missed which will most likely put me out of contention for the win, but there are good prizes for all of the top 6 so it'll be important to still try to finish as high as possible.

I'm pretty tired right now and want to rest a little before starting my session up in about 40 minutes, but I do want to talk about how much different my mindset was, both going into this event and during the event, and how beneficial it was for me. Once again, I credit this to one of the James Obst videos I watched in which he talks about how detrimental it is to focus too much on social media and to worry about what others think about how you play or whether or not you succeed. I'll try to get more into it next post.

Single Draw Champ of the World

Just final tabled the Second Chance on Stars for the 6th time this month out of 6 tries. Got a fish heads up with 320K to his 220K at 7Kbb. Earlier I hero called him incorrectly (he had 42 on 478A2 vs my 64.......) and he wrote "that's why I can't bluff you." As we started heads up I open the button with AKs and he writes "can we chop? i don't want to hurt myself." I have no idea what that means but as I was typing "nah let's play you can try to bluff me" he goes all in. I call and lose to 86. Shove my last 8 bigs with Q7 and he calls with worse and wins. If I win that match I'd have won this tourney (normally gets 50-60 runners) 3 of the 6 times I played it this month! As is, 2 wins, a 2nd, a 4th, a mincash, and a final table that led to a bubble (it usually pays 8). I'll take it.

Also won the single draw as shown above which was fun. Think I might have a natural ability for the game as I was sort of developing a basic strategy as I went. It goes without saying that I ran very well.

Playing a session in the house I grew up in is always a little tougher than playing at my house. I even got geo-located for the first time in probably over a year, which obviously had to do with the internet connection here in some way. At any rate I got frustrated so I played less tables than originally planned. I think that is the proper adjustment; rather than quitting and punting when I'm frustrated, just lower the volume and relax. I had 8 tables going for a while and didn't register much after those. In all I played 10 tourneys with 5 re-entries (3 in a $20 mtt and 2 in the Stars 10K, where I faced some pretty nasty runbad for the first time all month) for $1108.60 in buy ins. The $250 Thursday Thrill did not go well and I busted early. I cashed for $1907.42 for profit of about $800, keeping my win streak in the month of December alive (which was especially tough since if I busted Parx yesterday it would've just been an instant loss for the day). I mincashed a $10 mtt, 8th of 143 in a $20, 3rd of 61 in the Party $55, 2nd of 54 in that $100 second chance, and 1st of 64 in the $20 NL Single Draw.

Still feeling great about my game and think I really dominated at the second chance final table. Some hands:

Hand 1

Against the guy who beat me heads up. I felt quite confident he would check back a king on this turn which makes his value Tx, which is tough to have

***** Hand History for Game 1111111111 ***** (Poker Stars)
Tourney Hand NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, December 09, 12:16:00 ET 2016
Table 995298364 2 (Real Money)
Seat 8 is the button
Seat 5: Player5 ( 135614 ) - VPIP: 18, PFR: 14, 3B: 6, AF: 2.3, Hands: 4092
Seat 7: Hero ( 208402 ) - VPIP: 26, PFR: 19, 3B: 8, AF: 2.1, Hands: 93172
Seat 8: Player8 ( 195984 ) - VPIP: 25, PFR: 17, 3B: 7, AF: 2.3, Hands: 4069
Player5 posts ante of [750].
Hero posts ante of [750].
Player8 posts ante of [750].
Player5 posts small blind [3000].
Hero posts big blind [6000].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Hero [ 9c Qh ]
Player8 raises [12000]
Player5 folds
Hero calls [6000]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 2d, Kc, Ts ]
Hero checks
Player8 bets [14625]
Hero calls [14625]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Th ]
Hero checks
Player8 bets [29250]
Hero raises [58500]
Player8 folds
Hero wins 29250
Hero wins 117000 from main pot



Hand 2

Against same villain from last hand. Really considered shoving river for value to try to get calls from 99-QQ, which I thought made up a big part of his range when he makes the ridiculous 1/6 pot bet on river. Chickened out due to the ICM disaster it would be if I was somehow beat. As is he had a hand that just makes no sense to play this way.

***** Hand History for Game 1111111111 ***** (Poker Stars)
Tourney Hand NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, December 08, 11:43:56 ET 2016
Table 995298364 2 (Real Money)
Seat 7 is the button
Seat 2: Player2 ( 52409 ) - VPIP: 21, PFR: 15, 3B: 6, AF: 2.7, Hands: 3111
Seat 3: Player3 ( 58182 ) - VPIP: 19, PFR: 13, 3B: 5, AF: 1.4, Hands: 1257
Seat 5: Player5 ( 95620 ) - VPIP: 18, PFR: 14, 3B: 6, AF: 2.3, Hands: 4092
Seat 7: Hero ( 99532 ) - VPIP: 26, PFR: 19, 3B: 8, AF: 2.1, Hands: 93172
Seat 8: Player8 ( 141553 ) - VPIP: 25, PFR: 17, 3B: 7, AF: 2.3, Hands: 4069
Seat 9: Player9 ( 92704 ) - VPIP: 20, PFR: 15, 3B: 7, AF: 2.4, Hands: 1525
Player2 posts ante of [375].
Player3 posts ante of [375].
Player5 posts ante of [375].
Hero posts ante of [375].
Player8 posts ante of [375].
Player9 posts ante of [375].
Player8 posts small blind [1500].
Player9 posts big blind [3000].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Hero [ Kd Jd ]
Player2 folds
Player3 folds
Player5 folds
Hero raises [6600]
Player8 raises [16500]
Player9 folds
Hero calls [11400]
** Dealing Flop ** [ Ks, 4c, 8c ]
Player8 checks
Hero bets [16250]
Player8 calls [16250]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 8d ]
Player8 checks
Hero checks
** Dealing River ** [ 3s ]
Player8 bets [12000]
Hero calls [12000]
Player8 shows [Qh, Ah ]
Hero shows [Kd, Jd ]
Hero wins 97750 from main pot



Hand 3

I guess all of these are going to be against same guy lol. This is pretty much straight out of the Galfond video. MTT players over c-bet and my range smashes this flop, so a c/r should get the job done a decent amount. If he calls I still have good equity.

***** Hand History for Game 1111111111 ***** (Poker Stars)
Tourney Hand NL Texas Hold'em - Friday, December 09, 12:13:32 ET 2016
Table 995298364 2 (Real Money)
Seat 8 is the button
Seat 5: Player5 ( 170809 ) - VPIP: 18, PFR: 14, 3B: 6, AF: 2.3, Hands: 4092
Seat 7: Hero ( 178715 ) - VPIP: 26, PFR: 19, 3B: 8, AF: 2.1, Hands: 93172
Seat 8: Player8 ( 190476 ) - VPIP: 25, PFR: 17, 3B: 7, AF: 2.3, Hands: 4069
Player5 posts ante of [625].
Hero posts ante of [625].
Player8 posts ante of [625].
Player5 posts small blind [2500].
Hero posts big blind [5000].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Hero [ 8d Jd ]
Player8 raises [10000]
Player5 folds
Hero calls [5000]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 9s, 7s, 6d ]
Hero checks
Player8 bets [12187]
Hero raises [31500]
Player8 folds
Hero wins 19313
Hero wins 48749 from main pot



My car is in the shop again so I'll be hanging out tomorrow during the day. I'm not sure what I want to do at night yet. Might stay in, might try to head to NYC to hang out with friends. Tomorrow around 2PM they're doing Santa-con (whatever the **** that is) in the city so I'll at least be there for that. Sometime before it gets too late I'll hop back on the train, head back to the house I grew up at (which is where I am now and is a 30 minute drive from Parx), and get some sleep for day 2.

Last note: If I skipped the last 23 days of the month, I'd finish with my 3rd best month of the year (behind the massive January, where I just kept winning the WSOP 10K, and May, when I won $10K on one of the last days of the month). I think the Run It Once subscription miiiiiiight be helping.

Parx Day 2

Probably gonna keep this one short because I'm pretty sad about it but there was definitely a lot of good to take away from the day. I was the last person to bust on day 2, finishing 20th of the 1722 runners for $2650.

Overall I think I played well today but I noticed that as the day went on I just kept feeling more and more tired and I wonder if I passed up on any spots I would have taken if I was fresh. Down the stretch I definitely didn't; when I had the push/fold stack I went very card dead but took the spots that were there. But when I had 1.2M at 20K/40K I feel like I could have done more but passed on some of the close spots due to feeling so tired and not trusting myself enough to make good postflop decisions.

I started the day at 150K and won 99>A8s at our first table to chip up to 200K. I then moved to a table with quite a few familiar faces on my left. I did have a few fun and interesting hands with Mike Linster on my direct left. In the first I defend JTo vs his UTG open, c/c T74hhd, c/c 5d, and open shove 200K into 300K on the Td river. He tanked for a long time and eventually folded, claiming AQ.

A little while later I open HJ for 32K at 8K/16K with JJ, he 3b's to 84K in the CO, and I shove my 500K in the middle. He tanks for a long time and folds, implying he had QQ. He'd folded QQ face up pre earlier so I think there's a reasonable chance he was telling the truth. He tanked for a while and I'm sure that was genuine and the way he talked about it after made me really think he folded QQ. Which is insane.

Probably the hand that I thought about too much after it was over came when I opened to 55K UTG at 12K/24K with KK. UTG 2 goes all in for 70K, Ryan Pochedly raises to 160K or so from the HJ, and SB, an old guy with white hair and glasses, checks his cards and snap shoves 700K. I started the hand with 900K and Ryan covered, and after tanking for 2-3 minutes I folded KK. I felt so comfortable with the fact that this guy just wasn't going to spaz out with not AA. I was wrong, as Ryan snap called and turned his AA over, as the old guy revealed AQo! 70K guy had AJ, and the board ran KJ42T for the insane double for AQ guy. On one hand, I folded KK pre when someone had AA. On the other, more reasonable hand, I folded KK because I put someone on AA and he did not have AA. That's pretty unforgivable; if you're gonna fold KK pre you have to be certain. So I think I thought a little bit too much about this hand the rest of the day and had this sort of underlying meh feeling for quite some time.

I won a big pot right before my table broke again to get to 1.6M. At the new table I slowly chipped down and then ran a pretty awful bluff to chip down to 600K. When the table broke for the 27 man redraw I had 600K at 20K/40K. The 2nd hand at my new table Aaron Mermelstein opens button to 90K, SB flats, and I shove 600K with 44 in the BB. Aaron snap puts in a stack of blue 100Ks and SB folds and I win the flip vs his A9o. From there I didn't do much. The one time I went for a pure steal bvb I was promptly 3 bet, and eventually my bust hand came when I defend J9s with 800K to start the hand at 25K/50K from an aggressive HJ's open. Flop came J22dd, I c/shoved over the 100K cbet and was beat by AJ.

The difference between this Parx run and all the previous ones for me is that I actually had chips throughout day 2. I wasn't scared money. I looked for spots to chip up instead of justifying to myself that I can continue to preserve my stack because of the good structure. The spots where I chipped down that I thought may have been mistakes were at least aggressive mistakes. I'm much happier at the end of the day if the mistakes I make are being too aggressive. I hate calling down incorrectly, but if I'm the one with control of the hand and I at least have some semblance of fold equity then I just can't hate making a play. With $85K up top, getting 20th stings, but I'll be back.

First Losing Day of December!

I guess it was bound to happen eventually! Really happy with my mindset throughout the day that basically just involved me losing a lot of flips. Funny enough, I extended the streak to 8 for 8 in making the final table of the Second Chance but finished 8th with 7 paying. I actually had it up to 50K pretty early and just lost 2 or 3 flips to drop to 14K at 1400BB with 8 left and 7th at 36K, so I needed a lot of heat and didn't find it. Didn't cash anything else either. I was a little bit torn between whether or not I wanted to play in the first place, so I'm glad I mustered up the energy to do it (I wouldn't have been doing anything productive or fun otherwise anyway). And I'm also really glad that I didn't finish the session and think, "dammit I should have just skipped tonight so I wouldn't have lost!" I think that's a terrible mindset to have--doing your job is good whether you win or lose, so I have to look at it as a victory in that sense. I also have to realize that I upped my volume so I get one step closer to that part of my goal for December.

Unfortunately the other goals are not going well. I've literally only ran once, that 6 miler with Tee Dubs. I think I've only watched 2 RIO videos. It makes a little bit of sense since my schedule is always thrown off when I go home to play Parx but I still need to find the time to do those things.

An interesting side note about my first losing day of December: I started around 8:45, late registering everything. I think this is a small part of the reason I lost. Obviously I'm still going to have plenty of losing days when I register everything on time. But this month I've been getting on my computer at 7:00 and not missing any of the early levels. I think that has been a pretty reasonable part of my success. I never used to put enough stock in those early levels but after watching some of the RIO videos I've started to realize that in the grand scheme of things, 100BBs deep isn't even THAT deep, so starting with 30BBs does not give you a lot of room to chip up unless you run pretty good. So tonight with the Super Tuesday going I will be there at 7:00. I'll once again be tempted to hop in the Party $535 but once again will most likely skip it. I have another couple of weeks like the beginning of this December though, the roll will be close to big enough to start ripping that tourney each week.

I'll be playing the Parx $550, and I'm actually considering not playing 1A on Thursday and just getting there Friday for 1B, for a few reasons. First, it allows me to play online Thursday night, with the Thursday Thrill in play. Second, I have to imagine Friday and Saturday are softer than Thursday at Parx. Third, it allows me to at least have 3 full days at home between the $340 and the $550, which is always nice to get me to sort of hit the reset button and make sure my game is where it needs to be with all the technology I have before I hop back into the wireless world of live poker.

Results for yesterday: 10 MTTs for $783.60, cashed 0, $23 profit on 4 sngs (woohoo!). When adding in the Parx cash, I'm still over 5 figures of profit for December through 12 days. If I find a way to keep this pace I'll overtake January as my biggest month of the year. However, I also said in May "if I keep this pace I'll hit 100K for the year" and I am NOWHERE near that lol so I'm not sure how relevant pace is. I guess at the end of the day (or month in this case), the monthly total is pretty irrelevant. Gotta keep focusing on making good decisions and playing sound poker.

Edit: Almost forgot to add some chip porn from day 2 of the $340.

512K on dinner break:





Over a million after Q6hh>86 J64hh (he put me on flush draw and heroed my c/shove):





Little over 1.2M with 3 tables left after dusting a bunch off on a bluff then 44>A9o:

keep up the hard work and excellent play man! enjoy following your progress and hope to play with you in some StarsNJ tournaments later in the month

Thanks dude! I'm sure I'll see ya around then.

Back to Back Losing Days!

Today was interesting; didn't feel like I put that much volume in but by the end of the day I'd cashed for over $2000 and lost money! I played 27 spins during the day, won 11 and cashed for $280 for a $10 profit. Took 2nd in the 13:30 $15 6 max on Stars for $218. Then the night session. Ended up 4th in the 18:00 $50 on Stars for $293, 7th in the Party 10K for $512, 2nd in the Party 5K for $665, and then mincashed a $30 turbo at the end of the night. I fired the Super Tuesday 3 times though ($750) with no success, so booking a $300 loss doesn't seem too bad. I could definitely see the difference between how I ran today vs how I've been running the whole month. It's not really that I ran bad today; I won a 30/70 with 5 left in the Party 5K and I'm sure there were a bunch of other suckouts and won flips I had that I'm not thinking of right now. But there were plenty of big spots that I didn't win that I've gotten used to winning this month. One hand in particular that really tilted me came with 11 left in the late night $100 on WSOP. With 6 paying I was in 3rd with 19K at 300/600. HJ opens to 1200 with about 12K to start the hand, and #1 ranked player in NJ Jermz goes all in for 24K (my 19K effective) in the SB. I have QQ, throw the 19K in there, and lose to Jermz's AK for all the chips. It's pretty frustrating to spin 5K up to 20K, have over 30BBs in a tourney that is always really really shallow, be in a great spot to cash, and then literally just have to click call against a reg who's so afraid to play postflop that he's ripping 30+ bigs with AK. At the end of the day, it probably should just go 3b, I 4b shove, he calls and I lose the flip anyway, but something gets to me about him just getting all the chips in that spot. Idk, definitely shouldn't care but it's irritating. But anyway, 20 MTTs with 9 re-entries, along with 27 spins put me at $2318.20 in buy ins and $2021.48 in returns for a -$296.72 day.

December Goals Update

Two weeks into the month so I wanted to recap my goals:


--"I want to put an average of $1000/day in buy ins over an average of 5 days per week throughout the month which would come out to just over $20,000 in buy ins. I'm going to round down on that with Christmas taking some time and leave the buy in goal at $20,000. I don't think I worked as hard as I could have last month, although I definitely did better than I did in previous months, so I should be able to achieve this as long as I stay focused on the right things."

This is going very well. I have $13,005 in buy ins after 13 days meaning $20K should come very easily.

--250 MTTs (including re-entries). Goes hand in hand with the above goal since it appears my average buy in is around $80.

With 173 MTTs played I'm pretty much exactly the same % of the way to this goal as the first goal. My average buy in is currently $75.

--Actively watch 15 RunItOnce videos. This number is low but the key word is "actively"--it doesn't count if I have it on in the background. After watching a Galfond video on exploitatively raising flops I immediately through it into my game early in the Thursday Thrill and ended up winning the tournament. Variance certainly was a huge factor but having that tool in my arsenal made me feel more comfortable and gave me a new way to try to accumulate chips instead of just sitting and waiting for the easy spots.

I've watched 3 videos so far and need to get going on this front. Back to back losing sessions will make it much easier for me to sit down tomorrow and watch a couple. I did watch a video from Sauce earlier today. The concepts he discussed were more advanced than I'm used to but I'm confident that sitting down and really treating it like a study session will lead to me understanding better. Piosolver is obviously the thing to understand at this point in poker and I just need to get a little more familiar with it.

--Run 50 miles. Last year the goal was run 100 miles. I did it, felt tired through a lot of that month, and then made $20K the next month. I think there is a small but significant correlation there. I know I'm nowhere near as motivated right now as I was this time last year to run so I'm going to put a more realistic goal up there and just keep it at 50 miles.

I've ran 6 miles in 13 days. Tomorrow I'll get out there since whenever I start feeling frustrated by poker it feels good to run. Truth be told I don't feel anywhere near as frustrated as I usually do after losing sessions but running will still help.

--Eat healthier and sleep better. This one won't really be able to be measured as well as the above goals but it's still important and I'll be able to tell to some extent at the end of the month if I did this properly.

Not succeeding on this front, aside from getting some apples and bananas and eating them sometimes when I'm hungry. Actually I've also done a good job at cutting out sugary drinks more. I don't think I've had more than 2 iced teas in a day all month and several of the days I didn't have any. So I'm not doing terribly but I'm definitely still eating delivery way too often and not cooking any of my own stuff. Of course it's hard to do when 2 of the 13 days so far were spent entirely inside Parx East but I still need to strive to do better when I'm away from the casino.

Another Losing Day

Not a big loss but beyond frustrating. For perspective on how today went, I wrote a full paragraph for this update about how everything seemed to go the opposite way I hoped it would today. At the very end of the paragraph, my computer put up a prompt that asks if I want to restart the comp for updates. Since I was typing it must have taken me hitting the space bar as a go ahead to restart. I was able to cancel the restart but it closed the internet browser and I lost everything I'd typed.

I was lucky enough to run good and win the $50 6 max on Stars for $750, and I squeaked out a 7th place in the Party 10K for $525 so that I only lost $130 on the day. But some of the stuff I witnessed today, and subsequently lost to, was just mindblowingly infuriating. It's stuff that makes you wonder if the software glitched.

Exhibit A, obviously against a fish. I swear I tanked for 60 seconds and was so close to clicking fold. But this is a spot that you'd expect to be running into a 30r play money tournament, not an actual $30r.

***** Hand History for Game 1111111111 ***** (Pacific)
Tourney Hand NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, December 15, 09:04:45 ET 2016
Table 917393 table 8 (Real Money)
Seat 4 is the button
Seat 1: Hero ( 21956 ) - VPIP: 21, PFR: 16, 3B: 7, AF: 2.5, Hands: 218442
Seat 2: Player2 ( 14967 ) - VPIP: 19, PFR: 15, 3B: 7, AF: 3.1, Hands: 5102
Seat 3: Player3 ( 15866 ) - VPIP: 34, PFR: 21, 3B: 0, AF: 8.0, Hands: 38
Seat 4: Player4 ( 19240 ) - VPIP: 26, PFR: 19, 3B: 7, AF: 2.6, Hands: 3110
Seat 5: Player5 ( 21579 ) - VPIP: 26, PFR: 5, 3B: 6, AF: 1.4, Hands: 148
Seat 6: Player6 ( 15136 ) - VPIP: 44, PFR: 8, 3B: 3, AF: 2.9, Hands: 366
Seat 7: Player7 ( 3635 ) - VPIP: 25, PFR: 6, 3B: 3, AF: 1.3, Hands: 122
Seat 9: Player9 ( 15390 ) - VPIP: 18, PFR: 12, 3B: 5, AF: 3.2, Hands: 5415
Seat 10: Player10 ( 22606 ) - VPIP: 21, PFR: 10, 3B: 2, AF: 1.2, Hands: 188
25 chip ante
Player5 posts small blind [140].
Player6 posts big blind [280].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Hero [ Qs Qh ]
Player7 folds
Player9 folds
Player10 folds
Hero raises [700]
Player2 folds
Player3 folds
Player4 calls [700]
Player5 raises [21414]
Player6 folds
Hero raises [21231]
Player4 folds
** Dealing Flop ** [ 2d, 6s, As ]
** Dealing Turn ** [ Ts ]
** Dealing River ** [ Kc ]
Hero shows [Qs, Qh ]
Player5 shows [Ks, Kd ]
Player5 wins 44313 from main pot
Hero wins 377


Exhibit B, against one of the better NJ regs. The way these guys randomly click buttons and still crush the NJ MTTs makes it clear to me that if I don't make 100K next year I only have myself and my laziness to blame. This spot is probably pretty close as to whether or not I should peel pre but it can't be awful. And I suppose the reg's idea is he wants to balance having nutted hands here with having some total airballs but it just seems so unnecessary and bad to me.

***** Hand History for Game 1111111111 ***** (Poker Stars)
Tourney Hand NL Texas Hold'em - Thursday, December 15, 10:24:49 ET 2016
Table 995318770 8 (Real Money)
Seat 9 is the button
Seat 1: Player1 ( 8708 ) - VPIP: 33, PFR: 17, 3B: 5, AF: 1.7, Hands: 357
Seat 2: Hero ( 24207 ) - VPIP: 27, PFR: 19, 3B: 8, AF: 2.1, Hands: 97972
Seat 4: Player4 ( 21855 ) - VPIP: 22, PFR: 15, 3B: 9, AF: 3.3, Hands: 3099
Seat 5: Player5 ( 34370 ) - VPIP: 21, PFR: 13, 3B: 4, AF: 1.9, Hands: 3119
Seat 6: Player6 ( 1206 ) - VPIP: 35, PFR: 20, 3B: 12, AF: 6.4, Hands: 859
Seat 7: Player7 ( 65798 ) - VPIP: 26, PFR: 18, 3B: 9, AF: 1.5, Hands: 1038
Seat 8: Player8 ( 16720 ) - VPIP: 15, PFR: 11, 3B: 5, AF: 2.6, Hands: 3208
Seat 9: Player9 ( 13075 ) - VPIP: 31, PFR: 23, 3B: 11, AF: 2.5, Hands: 1152
150 chip ante
Player1 posts small blind [600].
Hero posts big blind [1200].
** Dealing down cards **
Dealt to Hero [ 7s 8h ]
Player4 folds
Player5 folds
Player6 folds
Player7 folds
Player8 folds
Player9 raises [2400]
Player1 folds
Hero calls [1200]
** Dealing Flop ** [ 5c, 6d, 9d ]
Hero checks
Player9 bets [10525]
Hero calls [10525]
** Dealing Turn ** [ 9c ]
** Dealing River ** [ 6c ]
Hero shows [7s, 8h ]
Player9 shows [9h, 2h ]
Player9 wins 27650 from main pot

This 92 vs 87 hand is probably the best summary of today. "Oh, he opened 92 with 10bbs. Oh, I flopped the nuts and have 96.7% equity. Oh, the chips are going to him."

All this whining aside, I think I'm doing a good job of forcing myself to play even on days I'm not feeling up to it. I was very tired and groggy all day but at 7:00 I was on the computer playing. I've decided that when I feel off like today I'll simply play less tables, so the most I had up today was 8. I got crushed in the Super Tuesday, losing a flip for a bounty before shoving AQ and getting called by AA. I swear I've ran Ax into AA an absurd amount of times this week, which is extra frustrating since there's only 3 combos of it compared to 6+ combos of all the other big value hands that I have way more equity against.

What I've noticed though is that the cliche "practice makes perfect" line is making sense for me in a different way than I'd previously considered when it comes to poker. The more I play, the more I'm able to put all of the variance aspects of the game in perspective. The more hands I see, the better "feel" I have for exactly what 80%, 50%, and 3% means. I "know" when I'm running good or running bad because I sort of feel "due" for a win or a loss and then I get the opposite. I'm conscious of it both ways, but am trying to use that realization productively. Instead of worrying about how good or bad I'm running in the normal whiny sense, I think to myself "alright, keep your feet on the ground and don't get cocky, a lot of this success is due to luck" when I'm running good, and when I'm running bad I think "don't get hard on yourself. Stay focused and realize the reason you are losing is bad luck. Don't get upset about it or feel cheated; it's all part of the game. But realize on most nights you'd be doing great, and something out of your control is stopping that, and it shouldn't bother you in the slightest." These things are easier said than done but I've been running bad this week and more or less been keeping it together pretty well.

I'm off to Parx for the $550 tomorrow. If I bag on day 1B I'll have Saturday off; otherwise I'll head back to Parx for 1C that day. Day 2 is once again Sunday and day 3 is Monday. I made it to 15 minutes left in the day on day 2 in the $340 so hopefully I can go a little farther this time.

Hall v Dentale

I messed around a little on MS paint today and contributed my own little artistic rendering of the Cate Hall vs Mike Dentale ridiculousness.

Pretty Bummed Out

It seems that every time I try to be overly optimistic I am punished really really hard for it. I don't want to be someone who whines when things don't go his way; in fact, I strive to be the opposite. The person who points out all of the good and lucky things happening instead of all the bad and unfortunate stuff. For example, I posted this Parx blog post on Twitter yesterday:

http://parxpokerbigstax.blogspot.com...s-engines.html

What I didn't tell people on Twitter was this was my 3rd bullet, and the first 2 both saw me spin 40K up to 150K (once on Friday, once on Saturday) only to lose every pot I entered after to bust. In fact, about 20 minutes before this post I lost QQ to KK for a ton of chips against a kid I've known a long time and have history with, who I've noticed goes out of his way to go nuts against me online. So I wasn't in a great mood, but I was still trying to let everyone know that I'm luckier than everyone else.

Parx $550 Day 2

I bagged 144K going to day 2. I busted day 2 in about 45 minutes, nothing really out of the ordinary. First big hit came when button opened to 12K at 2500/5000. He had 80K to start hand and BB had about the same so shoving ATo in the SB was pretty easy. He had AQ and held. A few hands later UTG limps, UTG1 makes it 23K, and I shove 75K from MP with JJ. He has AK and I lose the flip to bust before the money.

Crazy Person Rant About Negative Variance Online

I'll put this part in spoilers since it's a bunch of nonsense and completely reasonable for it to be skipped.



Crazy Person Rant About Car Problems

Now that my crazy person online poker rant is over, I guess I'll explain why I am so much more frustrated with today than I probably should be. I have brought my car into the shop 3 times in the last month, paid a lot of money each time, and every time the check engine light comes on and I have the same problem with the car. I've driven home, 80 miles, each time to have this problem fixed. It's at the point where I'm reaaaaaaaaally wondering if I'm getting swindled, but my parents reassure me that they've gone to this mechanic since I was born and they really trust him. The issue the first time was one of the coils misfiring on the car; he fixed it and it worked. A few months later, another coil misfire. Fixes it, it works. A few weeks after that, same problem, and the heat/AC isn't working properly. I bring that in a week ago, drive it home, heat/AC are working fine. Come out to use car again and the exact same ****ing thing happens every time each coil has misfired. So this is it at this point, there are four coils on the car, and if I go in and he says it's another coil and then "fixes" it and it ****s up again, I'm going to lose my ****.

The other thing wearing on me is the feeling I get when I go home--to the home I grew up in. I find myself getting more stressed every time I return. It feels really small there. I used to share a room with my brother and that's sort of just his room now so I really feel like a guest there. It's weird because I love everyone who lives under that roof to death and would literally die for any of them. But I just don't feel very comfortable there lately. I get more anxious when I try to play online there then when I play where I live now. My dog got arthritis in his legs since I left in January. He's one of the most active dogs I've ever been around and now he has a tough time getting up on the furniture that he used to leap on top of no problem. I still love him to death of course but he's only 7 and I didn't expect him to be hobbling around already. And my parents are of course getting older, and when I see them I feel this bit of guilt that I'm not there anymore. Of course there's not much I can do about that--I'm 25 so still being there would be a bit ridiculous. But I know that when I lose one of them (and I hope it's not for another 30+ years), it's going to hit me very, very hard, and no matter how much time I spend there it's going to feel like I wasn't there enough. So I guess at the end of the day, it all just a regular part of growing up and I'm going to eventually need to feel comfortable with the balance I find of going home and staying where I am now.

No Running

With the amount of live poker I've played in the last 2 weeks combined with the pretty consistent 20 degree weather we've been having, I've gotten no running done. This is not helping my mental state either. Without some crazy amount of motivation coming out of nowhere in the next 2 weeks, I'm not going to come anywhere near the 50 mile goal for December. I'm not really sure what to do about this given running in the freezing cold is one of the most miserable feelings for me and I'd be lying if I said I thought I was going to get out there any time the temperature is under 35-40 degrees.

Unhealthy Eating

I've genuinely been trying to eat healthier but I'm starting to realize I have no idea how to. I have at least started drinking a lot more water and a lot less sugar. But the other day Tee Dubs and I were ordering food and I legitimately told him to order me something that's at least reasonably healthy. I told him I completely did not care what it was, just get me something healthy. Like I'm that clueless about this that I can't even pick something off a menu that is good for me. Not sure what I'm going to do about this either.

Broken Laptop

I've still been using the laptop with the broken screen that requires me to use an HDMI cord to plug into a monitor. I want to buy a new laptop, and was getting all excited over the heater I hit earlier this month, and set a monetary amount I wanted to hit before withdrawing to get the new laptop. Well obviously I was quite close and have now lost $4K or so in the last week. It's amazing how quickly that happens. 65% of myself for 3 bullets in the $550, run really bad on Sunday online, and a few small losing session earlier in the week and bam, 4K down the drain. So I really need a new laptop, but my bankroll is pretty much where I want it to be and I don't want it going under that number. Just another reason today made me lose my mind.

The Silver Lining

I didn't hit anything. I didn't break anything. I didn't yell. I might've just been too shell shocked watching every runout go the wrong way over 21 tournaments, but I think it was actually just a level of maturity that I rarely find myself showing. That is literally the only good thing I can take away from today, but at least it's something. My life is still really good, I'm in a great position going forward, I've got great friends and great family, and I'm about to finish my first full year as a professional poker player and I haven't gone broke or done anything stupid. But every once in a while you just gotta vent the **** that's getting to you. Hope this post wasn't too obnoxious

Nice blog man, hope things become more consistent for you. It seems likely this will happen based on how much you care.....do you have any suggestions on what a cash game player that has minimal tournament experience could do to start learning mid game and end game tournament strategy? The hand you mentioned with J8ss is interesting, I saw an interview with Liv Boree where she talked about a similar concept after discussing with Igor and the other Germans. Any insight you care to share on that hand?

The basic idea behind it is twofold:

1) We're getting an amazing price (we need to call 1BB to win the antes, SB, BB, and open, which totals about 4.5BBs, so we're getting about 4.5:1 on our money, meaning we need to win about 18% of the time to break even)

2) The difference between us having 8BBs and 9BBs is minimal in comparison to the upside of winning the pot and potentially doubling to about 20BBs.

There are some other intricacies to this though. In point 1 I said we need to win 18% of the time, which isn't really phrased right. I probably should be saying we need to win back 18% or more of the pot on average to turn a profit. If we lose our BB 5 times and then double once, we've only won the pot 16.7% of the time but have clearly turned a profit. And on the other hand, if we win the pot 25% of the time but are misplaying our hand and losing too much on the 75% we lose, then defending isn't profitable. So knowing what to do postflop is important. I think against most regulars I might have just open shoved flop, since I'll be doing that with most hands I defend that flop any equity at all, but against this overaggressive fishy player I elected to exploit by checking and allow him to cbet when he shouldn't be. It all worked out quite well aside from him turning the 3 outer.

As far as learning midgame and endgame strategy, it's all about just being comfortable with playing shallow stack sizes. I feel confident that players who are genuinely good at playing 100bbs certainly possess the ability to learn all of those shallower stack size spots. But you just have to study up! Runitonce is a good place to go but if you don't want to pony the money up for that then maybe some YouTube videos? I've also started coaching recently and I know a lot of players reach out in that way as well. I don't want to turn my thread into an ad or anything but if you're interested feel free to send me a PM.


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Yeah think the J8s is definitely a good defend despite shallow stacks for all the reasons you listed.

Here's a hypothetical and I'm legitimately asking because I'm not sure. Are you defending Ax here too to a min raise?

1.) I can see the benefit as when you do flop an ace an opponent is going to cbet an Axx texture a ton and you can get those 4.5 bb's plus his cbet.

2.) Obvious reverse implied odds and when you're jam is called your equity is <20% most of the time.

Yeah think I'm defending quite wide and often whenever I flop and equity I'm open shoving. For example, if I defend 87s and flop comes 542 I'm all in. So if I defend A4 and it comes Q84, I'm often just sending it in. The idea is just that we peel 1bb in order to flop equity, and whenever we do so we force to opener to beat us at showdown. I suppose it changes based on the opener and what position they're opening from as far as how wide I'm peeling in a spot like that.


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Lots to Discuss

I've been thinking a lot about poker and life this past week and I'm going to try to get a bunch of my thoughts down here. To avoid it being a rambling mess I'll attempt to outline the main points I've been reflecting on before I start breaking them down:

1) Why getting excited about winning is bad
2) Some thoughts about social media
3) The need to further isolate myself from the NJ community
4) More general mindset stuff
5) Some general 2017 goals and the right way to approach them
6) My recent car accident and some perspective I've gained from it

1) Getting Excited About Winning is Detrimental to Overall Mindset

Getting pumped up about winning, whether it be in poker, sports, academic awards, or Connect 4 against your brother, is natural. The triumph of victory and agony of defeat seem to be normal human reactions to competition.

Being a professional poker player is not a job that lends itself to normal reactions. Non-poker players don't shrug when they lose $3000 in a day. Non-poker players don't view money in terms of buy ins. And non-poker players are allowed to get excited when they win and frustrated when they lose. Poker players, if they want to be successful, just don't have this luxury. Losing hurts, but the more you can make yourself numb to it, the less stressed, upset, and worried you'll feel when you inevitably hit a downswing. This is why getting excited about winning is just not something poker players can afford to be doing. And it's something I've done my entire 7-8 years of playing for money. When I get the big payoff of a tournament win after a few days/weeks/months of playing looking forward to that moment, I'm through the moon. I tell everyone about my recent success. I ride high on the win for days to come. I relive the big hands in my head to keep me going when I'm feeling bad.

And this is why I am a terrible loser. I rely on this high to keep me going, and when it's not there, I get mad and feel cheated and throw fits. I need that feeling of victory and validation. That needs to stop. I need to stop putting my self worth into the idea that it only exists if I am successful. Because being successful in poker is a hard-to-define concept. You can't win every day. You can't win every week. You can't win every month. (Although I think that's where it stops for me; if I have a losing year I'm probably gonna go get a job, but it's obviously non-zero that I do have a losing year in the future) Being successful does not mean winning every time you sit down. It means winning over the course of your lifetime. It means understanding concepts better than your peers. It means working harder than everyone else who is playing in the same games you are.

I've noticed that pretty much my entire life I've relied on success in competition to give me that sense of self worth. Ever since 4th grade basketball; I was a good basketball player on a good basketball team. In leagues where there were often up to 16 teams, I won a championship in 4th grade, took 2nd in 5th grade, won 2 championships in 6th grade including being on a 16-0 team, took 4th in 7th grade and 2nd in 8th grade. I remember feeling so upset any time we lost because I just never learned how to do it. I stopped playing basketball in high school and had reasonable success as a runner and got my competitive juices going in that all the way through the end of college. There's probably a bigger underlying problem here where I need to find a way to get my self worth from just being happy with who I am and all that, but until then, I need to find other competitive outlets that distract me from poker when it's going bad. I think I've probably mentioned this on here and gone through the exact same thing before, but running always fills that void. Because with running, even when you don't win a race, you're still competing with all the athletes around you and with the clock against your own personal goals. It's a great way to not only get exercise but to fulfill that competitive need within me. And sticking to the theme of not riding high on wins or getting too low on losses, I need to be running regardless of how poker is going. I got some good cold weather running gear for Christmas and I want to start putting that to use ASAP.

2) Some Thoughts About Social Media

I am not going to quit Facebook and Twitter. They are valuable tools for staying connected with people you know. Facebook allows people to invite me to events and vice versa, and not having it would most likely lead to me unintentionally left off some fun events my friends put together. Twitter allows me to stay in the loop of what's going on in the poker world, and to occasionally sell action and update investors. But I have been using these tools the wrong way for a long time now. Bragging about wins is ridiculous for a few reasons, most of which have already been covered above. The same goes for whining about bad luck, and I do both of these things entirely too much on social media. I also post ridiculous unimportant thoughts I have on Twitter and pretend like people have any interest in them. It's really vain and silly, but in reality, I guess that's one of the main purposes of Twitter. So in the future, the goal is to post next to nothing on these sites but to not delete them completely for the reasons I listed above. The interactions I have on Twitter are almost always negative and include someone just trying to get me upset. Sometimes I'm asking for it, sometimes I'm not, but it always bothers me more than posting on Twitter is worth in the first place. 2017 might see me create a new Twitter account that is exclusively for selling action and updating investors and all but delete my old account.

3) The Need to Further Isolate Myself from the NJ Community

A few reasons for this, one of which goes back to the above point. These people seem to say way more negative things to me than positive and it's not something I need in my life. Another reason is I'm starting to realize that this idea that we're all friends as we battle to take each other's money every single day is not sitting well with me. I'm not quitting the game, and when I think about all the friendships I value within the poker community, I realize that that number is for sure in the single digits and there might not be any at all. I don't think poker attracts more scumbags than the average job or anything like that. But I do think that otherwise nice people start to blur the line of competition on the table and behaving like a normal human away from the table. I think that I have "friends" who have started saying things to me away from the table to get under my skin to gain an edge. Some of the things I've heard some of my so called friends do behind my back makes me sick to my stomach and has me hoping so bad that those things are untrue. I don't need it anymore. These pretend friendships are ridiculous and I'm not going to partake in them going forward. I'm not going to go out of my way to isolate myself, but I don't really plan on being very friendly at casinos or online going forward. I want your money and you want mine, and I'll be respectful while we're competing against each other. But I'm tired of pretending like we're buddies away from the table when I've begun to learn that there's a pretty high chance you're going to do something scummy to me in the future if I open up too much.

4) More General Mindset Stuff

The most basic thing I've been considering with this category is the idea that poker is work and skipping extracurricular events to work is not something to feel guilty about. In the middle of writing this post my roommate asked if I wanted to go see a movie with him. I do want to go see a movie, but I have to work tonight. He seemed a little frustrated when I said I have to play poker, so it's time to just start calling it what it is; work. I'm not mad that my roommates can't go to lunch with me on Tuesdays, so my roommates can't be upset with me for not watching football games on Sundays. Poker is work and it's time for me to start treating it like that, regardless of whether I want to play or not.

5) Some General Goals for Next Year and How to Approach Them

Some general goals I've recently been considering:
a) Run AT LEAST once every two days
b) Watch AT LEAST one RIO video every two days
c) Walk the dog before noon every day

These aren't groundbreaking goals but they're more than I've been doing this month. The main thing I want to get to with this is how to approach these goals. I'm going to fail, probably more than once, with them. But the trap that a lot of people fall into is that once they fail once they give up. I want these goals to hold true no matter how many times I mess up. I don't run the first 5 days of January? Well when I wake up on the 6th I better get my ass out there.

6) My Car Accident and Some Perspective Gained

On Christmas Eve I went to drive home from Fair Lawn to Hamilton in order to go to Church with the fam and then be there for Christmas. I was driving my mom's car since mine is still in the shop. About a mile from my house I took a slight turn at around 40mph and lost traction with the road. I was in the left lane and the front of my car began to drift right. I did all I could to steady it but this car was not about to stop spinning. I did a 180 degree spin, somehow avoided the car that was in the right lane, and slammed into the curb. When I came to a stop there was a telephone pole about 3 feet to my left and by some miracle the car did not go up on the curb and I was completely fine. The guy I almost hit stopped, got out of his car, and started walking toward me. He asked if I had a phone, if I was okay, and after I apologized for almost getting him killed he said, "eh, it's fine, you just hit a bad spot on the road." I thanked him and he drove away. I called my mom and apologized to her 10 times, feeling like an ******* for damaging her car after she lent it to me. She just kept repeating, "I don't care about the car, I don't care about the car, are you sure you're okay??"

Some things to take away from all of this.

Not every random stranger in New Jersey is an *******. This was something I'd sort of assumed was true for quite some time now. I almost killed this guy and he not only didn't yell at me, he made sure I was okay. That was really cool to see.

I didn't hurt anyone. I didn't hurt myself. The car is damaged but not totaled. It could have been so much worse. I need to continue to look hard for the positives in things instead of just complaining about the negatives.

My parents are saints. I think most parents, once they knew their kid was okay, would be frustrated or mad. My parents just seem to get that **** happens and I didn't mean to make this mistake. My mom just kept saying how happy she was that I was fine and how worried she was. Nothing about her car. I'm blessed.



As far as poker goes, it's sorta just been more of the same. The $500 on WSOP yesterday had insane overlay so I hopped in. With 11 left and 6 paying ($2400 to 6th cuz why not), I opened ATo about 25BBs deep from HJ. One of the top NJ regs (lol) 3b the BB (went pretty small given he was OOP) and I elected to flat (shoving seems fine too). He's overly aggressive and plays pretty much completely exploitatively because it works in our market, but I don't think he really adjusts vs the thinking regs. Flop comes A82ss (I have A of spades) and he continues for smaller than his 3b. I call and the turn is an offsuit queen. He tank checks and I feel very confident I have the best hand. I have slightly less than pot and now need to decide if I should shove or check on this Ax8s2sQx board. I decide that he has a ton of air in his range and that most of his hands have 3, 4, or 5 outs against me (with some having 0). I think his flush draws shove turn as does his JT so he has some broadway combos for gutshots (4 outs) and Qx (5 outs). I think he also might have some weak Ax. Against this range I think a check is best to allow him to bluff it off on river. I do think he also occasionally has some nutted AA/QQ/AQ and maybe even AK, but I decide I am going broke against those hands vs this opponent regardless of line. I check, the river is the 5s, he shoves, I call and lose to 85dd.

After being up $11K through 10 days this month, I've lost half of it back in the last 15 days. It's frustrating but I know it will turn. It's time to find that positive mentality again and keep grinding through the tough times.

Regarding social media, you need to toughen up most of it is just smoke & mirrors after all. This is something I also have trouble with at times. Sorry to hear about the accident. Good to hear that you left it unharmed.

"Keep on keeping on" - Joe Dirt