Sorry I've struggled to find the time to write recently! I'll get an update out soon

2024 Week 18

The backing deal I've been a part of for 5 years ended on Monday 4/29. Frankly, I had no idea it was coming. When I hung up the phone I felt hints of the crippling anxiety I hadn't experienced since I was a kid. One moment I was outside enjoying the 80+ degree day we were having here in New Jersey; the next I was out of a job with absolutely no plan given I had no clue this deal was ever in jeopardy of ending!

I walked around in a stupor the rest of the day. I'd planned on going to Borgata for their Spring Open the next day to play their $500 opener. Initially I was teetering on not going since it was the only good tournament there that week and it would be one of the smallest buy ins I'd played live in years. Could I even afford to play it now?? I hadn't thought about bankroll management in 5+ years!

Tuesday morning I got on the train to go home to get my mom's car, as was the plan. She's retired and is always willing to help because she's a sweetheart so she was going to let me use the car for the week. We got lunch and I told her about what was going on and she did really well to help me stop panicking. She suggested I go to AC but not worry about the poker. Just treat it like a vacation and try to calm down and figure out the next steps. The conversation triggered memories of her helping me when I was in crisis as a kid and reminded me I wouldn't have made it back then if I didn't have a mom like this who never gave up on me.

So I drove to Atlantic City and checked in to Harrah's, feeling like a fraud. I didn't belong there. All these years of using someone else's money to play poker and now that was gone in a snap and I was helpless. What the hell was I doing here??

They were out of my room type so they gave me an upgrade and the room was very nice. I looked out the window at Borgata and the bay and remembered when I used to come to AC all the time before being backed to play the small buy in tourneys and see if I had what it took to make a living playing poker. I called back on how the backing deal started in the first place; two guys thought I had potential to be great and started asking to back me in 2016. For 3 years I turned them down, wanting to prove I could do it by myself, before finally conceding in 2019 that I needed help if I really wanted to make this a viable career.

From very early on in the deal I realized what a mistake it was I hadn't started it earlier. I was proud and wanted to prove I could do it on my own, but if I'd started earlier I could've started making big strides much sooner. And now I was staring out the window wondering if I was "above" grinding smaller buy in MTTs. I felt like my world was collapsing because I knew I couldn't play 3k mtts on my own dime. But after being backed and coached for 5 years I was a) a MUCH better poker player, b) much more well off financially then when the deal started, and c) much more experienced and aware of how the poker world worked. That initial panic was understandable. A massive change had occurred with no warning that threw my plans for a loop out of nowhere. But it was also silly to panic. I had a wealth of knowledge and resources to call on. I was not the same person who didn't have any guidance before being backed; not even close.

So for most of Tuesday night and the first half of Wednesday I sat in my hotel room planning, writing, thinking, calculating, talking out loud to myself, anything to start to form a cohesive plan that would give me some guidance on what steps to take next. By Wednesday afternoon I had a solid outline of what my bankroll looked like, what my liferoll looked like, what my schedule *could* look like. I was still very anxious but now it took the form of a more excited nervous energy as opposed to the panicked anxiety I initially felt.

A sense of intense relief had also come over me. For the better part of the last 18 months I'd been chasing the dragon so to speak. I was playing bigger and bigger, both in mtts and cash games. I lost $50k+ in Las Vegas last summer and found myself in the red on the year at the end of SEPTEMBER. I proceeded to win 6 figures in October and November collectively and still ended with my lowest year of profit in quite some time. In November I was at Borgata, chopping the $600 opener for $54k. In December I flew to Vegas for 10 days, 7 of which I was deathly ill in bed, missing the tournament I flew out to play in the first place. This year I went to Borgata in January for 10 days, eventually coming 37th in a $5300 for $15k. In February I went to Maryland to play a live series, losing $8k, which ended with me stone bubbling a $3k in painful fashion. In March I went to Vegas and lost $10k live (with another soft bubble in the $3500 main) while winning $16k online. Why had I left New Jersey at all?? I lost $17k in cash in one day in early April. Ten days later, I won $27k in mtts in one day.

And what did I have to show for all this effort and heartbreak and anxiety and travelling and being away from Amy and eating unhealthy food and staying in hotels for weeks at a time and spending hour after hour after hour after hour after hour in casinos? $1497. I was up a grand in 4 months this year when I was dropped.

My backers had reached a point where another $50k loss in Vegas this summer was something they weren't going to feel comfortable swinging. And I genuinely had the best backers I think you could possibly hope for. At no point during any downswing, no matter how long or how big, was there even an OUNCE of pressure put on me to win. The focus was always the process. Keep improving, keep working hard, keep striving to be great and we couldn't care less how the results go. Well, we'd hit a point where they were going to feel the heat of a bad summer and they knew they couldn't continue to tell me that results didn't matter. So to Gags and Sean, I appreciate all the hard work you two put in which led to me becoming an INFINITELY better poker player than when I started working with you. I wish you nothing but the best in the future.

All good things must come to an end, and I probably should've ended this on my own a while back, but I couldn't shake the feeling that the big MTT score was right around the corner so I kept chasing it. I don't regret it and there are plenty of universes where the Borgata $5k, or the Maryland $3k, or the Vegas $3500 goes slightly differently and I hit that big six figure score. In some universes I go a day or two deeper in the 2021 or 2022 Main and make life changing money. But this wasn't one of them. I won't be results oriented about the big scores not coming, especially since there were a lot of big results along the way. 79th in the WSOP Main in 2021 for $81k. 112th in the WSOP Main in 2022 for $63k. Chop the Borgata $600 in 2023 for $54k. A $46k online score a month before that, and an entire page worth of 5 figure online scores on the P5s page to go with it. I didn't get rich from this deal, but I steadily built up an amount of money that led to me living very comfortably. It also gives me a chance to build on my own.

After I'd taken a step back and thought about all of this I realized that tournaments are ****ING CRAZY! When you're winning they're fun, but let's be honest, you're not winning all that often when you play these things, especially if a bulk of your volume comes in the live arena. It takes days to play ONE MTT. Over the course of my career I've seen a lot of what variance can do. I'll never forget running KK into AA when being 2/11 with 300k up top in a Borgata tourney in 2019. With a massive gap between myself and 3rd place, I got dealt the ultimate cooler vs the only person in the MTT who covered me. I felt like my tournament career was defined by these moments. In 2021 I got AK in vs AQ on day 6 of the WSOP Main and the board ran Q43KQ. Don't get me wrong, I ran hot in a lot of spots too, and for all I know I've actually ran above EV and I'm whining about not being rich now . But it always felt like I was so close to the big score, and if I just worked harder and put more volume in it was going to come.

So my first reaction to being dropped was panic that that was all over. It was unfinished. I hadn't hit the big one yet. I needed more time. But after hours and hours of combing through it all and putting in some deep reflection, an extreme wave of relief came over me. I didn't have to do that anymore. I didn't have to work and work and grind and grind and pray and hope that eventually the big one could come. I could play cash! Rather than spending all my time travelling all over the country trying to hit the big one, I could slowly build up my net worth by using a skill my backers had taught me near the end of 2020. And thank god they had. After the chaos that was MTTs for me in 2023, I'd barely profited on them for the calendar year, digging out of that 50k hole from the summer to finish in the black. But cash made up most of my profit on the year and kept it looking respectable.

For a couple months near the turn of the 2021 new year I'd grinded cash hard and it went well. I've never put all my energy and effort towards it though. I've always mixed in tourneys and felt the need to stay up late and wake up late and live that sort of lifestyle. My new plan was to focus on hands played and try to get in a routine and schedule that would allow me to be with the people I love more. After 9 years playing full time at all hours of the day, I now craved a taste of the more traditional 9-5 lifestyle! I set up a schedule and decided I'd start it on Monday and see how it felt.

But first was the $500 mtt at Borgata. I'd decided I'd play this tourney and that'd be it on the MTT front for a while. On Wednesday 5/1 I played a bullet, completely resigned to the fact that I was going to lose. I sat down and got 66 in on 876 vs a BB defend. He xr'ed my flop bet then called my shove for quite a bit more with 64o. Turn was a 5 and I kinda smiled at the fact that I wouldn't have to do this anymore. MTTs are SO soft but you can run bad in them for so so so so long and I think I realized I was just tired of it. River was a 7 so I doubled but later got AK in vs KK to bust.

The next day I played 2 bullets, busting the first with TT<QQ before max late regging the last bullet. At all 3 of my tables people were happy to be there and playing poker. It made me feel really good to see people enjoying the game. It reminded me how long it'd been since I'd played these lower stakes tourneys at Borgata. The third bullet went well and I bagged 521k from 100k to head to day 2 and the 8k/16k level.

I sat down to day 2 and the guy to my right said "hey I follow you on Twitter, it's good to meet you and thanks for all the insights you provide." I'm not sure exactly what insights he's talking about but it was really nice to hear that. I again flashed back to before I was backed when I'd look at the day 2 assignments and get excited when I saw someone I knew from the blogs or whatever. I'd do the same thing, introduce myself and fanboy a bit. We talked for a while and I really enjoyed myself while I was there. It felt like a nice way to say a temporary goodbye to the Borgata and casinos in general. I'll certainly be back at some point but I'm extremely excited about putting all my energy and focus into the online cash grind and spending more time with my loved ones. I busted the tourney a little before the money and drove home ready to start on my plan.

Weekly Results

Meditation 7, Walk 7, Soda 0
Studied 20, Played 22.25, Coached 0, Total 42.25

Through all the turmoil I managed to meditate each day and walk each day. Those meditations have led to me being able to handle anything life throws at me. I credit them for keeping me sane through every twist and turn I endure.

Hah welcome to the cash grind. Live tournies are fun but the hourly is deceptively low after factoring in travel time. Plus, it's hard to beat playing in underwear while watching Netflix for $60+/hr

Another thing I'm realizing is I feel so much more "stable" at the moment. The stress of planning a Vegas trip in the summer has been replaced with the realization that I get to spend my favorite time of year in Hoboken rather than in the desert. Instead of spending my entire birthday playing the $1500 6 max and busting at 11pm PT, I'll be at a restaurant or bar with the people closest to me, with 75-80 degree weather and a breeze, instead of 110 in an oven. It's slightly less exciting, but WAY more enjoyable, relaxing, and stress free.

+1 Hoboken is beautiful this time of year

Crazy turn of events. I think you're going to find it's a lot less stressful playing for yourself than for someone else. I don't know how you are, but the mental burden of playing with someone else's $$ was always higher for me.

What buyins for cash do you think you'll play? How will that hourly compare to splitting profits with a backer?

Yeah I think you might be right! I'll be playing the same stakes I always have given the main perk of the backing was being able to play tournaments I wasn't otherwise able to afford. I've got no idea what the hourly will look like since I've always had a foot in both camps when it came to cash vs MTTs, so I'll just have to put in a bunch of volume and see!

Huge news! Always enjoyed reading along and sweating your tournament runs but wishing you nothing but the best in this next phase of your career.
If you ever sit interesting live cash games I’d be up for reading about them. I don’t get to play a lot but live cash is my favourite and living vicariously through the stories of those who do it best - especially those who are able to write about them so well - is something I really enjoy!

Do you have any intentions of getting out to the WSOP at all this year still, or not at all? If you sattied to the main would you go out and play?

gags confirmed busto

Tournaments certainly aren't going to be gone forever for me, but I'm really enjoying this break to focus on cash. There's certainly a high chance I go to Vegas just to play the Main and play cash on my off days or if I bust early, so I might take you up on that!

2024 Week 19

A week behind schedule on this thread but I'll catch up eventually.

I started the week of 5/6 nervous but excited to start to put my plan into action. The goal was at least 10k hands/week to ensure 40k+ hands during the month of May. That was the number that made me feel like I could make a good living consistently so long as my winrate was around what I thought it was. The only way to be sure I could play a lot of volume *and* maintain the winrate I had when being more selective with my games was to put the plan into action and play a lot of hands!

The plan was to play 4 full days and 2 half days each week, similar to what I've been doing all year. The focus now, however, would be playing 2000 hands on the full days and 1000 hands on the half days, which would replace the former goal of 8 hours of work per full day and 4 hours per half day. At first I decided to do both, keeping those 8 hours per full day and 4 hours per half day with the hand count goal in mind. I was under the impression that I was going to need to play around 6 hours per day to get those 2k hands in, so I'd study 2 hours per day as well, breaking each full day into 2 blocks of [1 hour study, 3 hours play]. But after playing 5:15 on Monday I was over 2800 hands and pleasantly surprised with how much less time (or less tables) I'd need to play to hit my goals.

Tuesday I played 5 hours and got over 2400 hands. Wednesday I hit 2k hands in just over 4 hours. Thursday was the same, but by the time I was done Thursday I was absolutely exhausted. I'd been waking up around 7am when Amy left for work and going to bed at 11pm. The routine was great, but I wasn't actually falling asleep until 12:30-1:00, and the combination of getting 6 hours of sleep (I'm used to 8) and then playing an intense 4-5 hours of poker each day had caught up to me. I realized that going forward sleep was going to need to be a priority and it was going to be important I force myself to stay in bed later than 7am (or really fall asleep at 11pm).

After a big winning day on Thursday I had a big losing day Friday, my first half day of the week. My entire focus and all of my attention was on hand count and effort though, so the 1275 hands I got in Friday still counted as a win for me.

That night I went with Amy to visit her friend and her friend's husband in Long Island. They're a ton of fun to hang out with but it's always been really hard to get away during the weekend since I need to stay home to play tournaments. Saturday morning I woke up, took the train home to where I grew up, visited my parents for a while, then drove to see a close friend of mine who again, I hadn't seen in too long due to not being able to take time off. She has two young children and I really clicked with the 3 year old, who I'd met a few times before but never in a one on one kinda situation like that. I picked up one of her toys with my toes and acted like a monkey and apparently a few days later she did the same thing and told her mom, "look, just like Uncle Dan!"

I think getting that text from my friend was the moment I realized how valuable the end of the backing deal might prove to be, not just from a financial perspective, but from a freedom perspective. Again, my backers were incredible and never put any pressure on me to play, but I put a ton of pressure on myself. I understood what an amazing deal I had with them and was completely focused on getting the volume necessary in tournaments to make a ton of money before the deal ended. Even when I took nights off, a part of me felt like I should be playing the random circuit event that was going on online that night, or I should've flown to Florida to play the WPT, or I should've been taking shots at the highest stakes cash games since my bankroll could handle it given I had a bunch of "free shots" at tournaments at my disposal at all times.

I haven't felt that pressure to play since the deal ended because I'm playing my volume during the day then taking my time off at night and on the weekends. You know, like a normal person. For the first time in a long time I'm completely relaxing, guilt free, because I know I've done my job. It's possible I decide the games are way better at night than they are during the day and I start to shift back to more of a nighttime grind. But even then I think I'll still be able to have my weekends free. This will all be a feeling out process but it's been so exciting this first couple weeks to see that not only can I still do this for a living, I might now have a healthier lifestyle going because of it.

Sunday I visited with my mom for Mother's Day then took the train home to get my last 1k hands in. I played the 1k hands and 1 tabled a $100 PKO Stars was having. I couldn't help myself; the Stars chest I'd just opened gave me a $100 ticket instead of cash and the guarantee on this thing was a wild 125k. I was still in when I'd finished my cash hands so I switched to the ipad and went to hang out with Amy on the couch. I mincashed around 11:30 then went to bed with Amy, happy with how the week had gone.

Weekly Results

Meditation 7, Walk 7, Soda 0
Studied 12.75, Played 25.25, Coached 0, Total 38

Finished the week with 11,686 hands played, well above what I was aiming for. I imagine I'll be around 40 hours each week but I'm not committed to hitting that number exact anymore, so long as I get my 2k hands in on full days and 1k hands in on half days. I was able to finish before 7pm each day during the week to spend the rest of the night with Amy or with friends which was great. Getting 8 hours in before 7 is a pretty tough task but I've been getting close given I'm waking up so much earlier. I started writing this post at 9am today; I'll probably play session #1 when I'm done until around 12:30-1:00pm, grab some lunch and go on a walk, come home and relax for an hour, then play session #2 with the hopes of being done before 7. So I do get close to 8 hours despite not putting in any time at night. The schedule has been great so far and I'll continue to monitor whether I think a move to night sessions would be way better for my bottom line. If it's close or even just a little more profitable, I'll most likely stick to this current schedule.

2024 Week 20

Another week of getting in the volume and learning more about what the cash game grind looks like. It's been fun putting my full attention and effort into cash without tournaments to distract me. After 10,390 hands this week (5/13-5/19) I'm at 28k hands in 19 days, just a few thousand hands off my highest volume month ever. That record will go down early into week 21 as I continue to play my 10k+ hands per week, completely focused on putting in the volume and improving at the game.

I started playing 5/10 again this week. While I was backed for MTTs, I'd played all the stakes offered online in NJ (up to 25/50), with most of my volume coming at 2/5. 5/10 and 10/20 felt comfortable to me, and I'd shot take 25/50 when the game looked good and I felt good. I was much more willing to aggressively hunt games when I was backed for tournaments since a huge score could always be around the corner; losing a bunch in cash would hurt me less financially given I had a free way of potentially securing a big bink at all times. Now that bankroll management is much more of a concern for me, I wanted to slowly ease into the bigger games to avoid getting discouraged. The original plan was to only play 1/2 and 2/5 all of May, but they'd gone well enough and I felt comfortable enough the first 2 weeks that I decided to fast track it a bit and start to get in good 5/10 games this week. I have milestones in my head that I want to hit before moving up again, but knowing me I might see a good 10/20 and say screw it, so I'll hold off on rigidly defining any of those targets for now.

The literal second hand of 5/10 I was dealt this month I 3b squeezed JJ with a fish in between then got it in on 7665, only to get stacked by a reg's AA who'd flatted the 3b. If anything I was almost happy that happened because I got to see how little it affected me emotionally. I've already played these stakes and swung much bigger in the past; the fact that MTTs weren't backed anymore wasn't going to magically make me prone to being more emotional during swings. If anything it might be the opposite; knowing the swings of MTTs are not something I'll have to contend with if I don't want to puts me more at ease when I lose at cash because I have the confidence that it'll swing back to the positives MUCH more quickly than tournaments ever did.

I'm noticing that stretches of hands that would take days to play out in the past now take just a few hours. Getting 2000 hands in from 10am-6pm sees me swinging 5-6 buy ins each way a couple times a day. Before being on my own I'd play way less volume and sit with the results longer, feeling good about winning or bad about losing, which was silly given how small the samples were that I was focused on. I think I've got a much healthier balance going now. I realize simultaneously that one big hand won't define my session, but it's important to stay focused every hand and not get sloppy and lose a buy in when it's not necessary.

I think my brain is built for this and I'm really excited about continuing to put the work in.

Weekly Results

Meditation 6, Walk 7, Soda 0
Studied 13.5, Played 23, Coached 0, Total 36.5

I finally missed a day of meditation! First one since the end of January. On Friday night I went to a friend's house about an hour away and had a great time catching up. The five of us were up til like 4am and by the time I got back to my place the next day (around 2pm) I was exhausted. Amy and I watched shows til about 7pm at which point I felt sick and had to sleep. I woke up at like 6am the next day and realized I hadn't gotten the meditation in! No worries, just time to start a new streak.

Putting the 10k hands in will naturally get me near 40 hours per week but again, that isn't a strict goal anymore. As time goes on I may decide to start doing some work after 7pm but for now I've been reserving that as time off. Getting 10k+ hands and nearly 40 hours in each week without using any of those primetime hours is pretty impressive imo. Maybe in the future I'll put some later hours in but I'd really like to keep some sort of a schedule down as far as not going to bed super late goes; it's definitely way healthier for me. So potentially a session during the day then a session 9pm-12am or something could be an option later on. For now I think I'll stick to the schedule I've been on for the entirety of May.

2024 Week 21

Played 11,407 hands the week of 5/20-5/26 and continued to learn a lot about the ins and outs of the grind. On Wednesday 5/22 I lost about 6 buy ins at my average stake during my early session in 1393 hands. My notes from after that session, preparing for the second session of the day:

"3:30pm now and my brain feels pretty cooked. I don't know if it was having too much sugar last night, the lack of sleep, or if all these hands are starting to get to me, but I am tired. I did play 2/3 of my daily hands in one session this morning while exhausted so I guess it makes some sense, but I am really tired. I think I'm gonna 4 table and relax. I was way too focused on results this morning. This session the focus will 100% be on the process, on getting in hands, and on NOT checking results at any time. All attention and effort must be put into attempting to make the right play. I play my A game when I'm not worried about winning money, I'm not forcing things, I don't want to hit a home run and win a big pot, I just try to play solid poker where I mostly have good hands but get a few bluffs in there when it makes sense. When I make a big hand I'm not desperate to win a stack; I'm trying to just win the max, whatever that is, and sometimes it isn't much."

I proceeded to win the 6 buy ins back in the next 990 hand session and break even on the day. I was so locked in that when I ended the session I had no idea how much I was up; I thought maybe 2-3 buy ins on the session.

The next day I played 1558 hands in my early session and won 12 buy ins. While this is clearly due in big part to running hotter than the sun, it's no surprise it comes after I lock down with my mental state and focus on the right things after a tough session. I've found a great balance of studying as much as possible while putting much more focus than I ever have on playing a ton of hands. Studying is great but the way you actually make the money is by playing.

I find myself getting way more in tune with exactly what leads to winning days and losing days. It's a different and much more easily digestible type of variance than MTTs, but there's still variance in cash. In tournaments it's often the big preflop flips with 12 left. In cash your winning and losing days typically come down to how hot you're running in 3b and 4b pots. When you 4b AKss btn vs sb and it comes T98hhh you're not winning the pot very often, but you've already stuck 26bb in there. When it comes A83 and your opponent has AQ you're gonna win a big pot. It's that simple. If one scenario or the other is happening way more often in a given session, that will define whether you win or lose on the day. Some days you make 3 good bluff shoves on the river and they all get through. Some days they all get called. Your bottom line on the day comes down to these few pots.

This outlook makes it much easier for me to accept big wins and big losses as relatively meaningless. It's what we do in the margins that dictates how well we'll do long term. Am I generally sticking to my preflop ranges and finding spots to fold a little tighter or 4b a little wider based on my opponents? Am I finding river bluffs against opponents who I know to be too sticky on flops and turns? Am I adjusting appropriately on flop to a reg who just peeled my 3b who has a very high fold to 3b%? Am I cbetting the right frequency and size on the T high rainbow board SB vs BTN in 3bp vs good reg? These are the things that separate okay/good regs from elite regs imo. How consistently can you hit the mark in all of these nuanced situations, and how hard are you studying to be fully aware of what you can be doing better?

Another benefit to studying and watching videos and thinking about general ideas is being in tune with a player who starts to do things you haven't seen before. The more outside the box you can critically think, the easier it is to come up with a counter strategy to someone who's started probing turns with very small sizes frequently, or someone who's cbetting 75% pot on KK3r, or someone who checks back overpairs on turns too often in 3bps. It's one thing to be aware that cbetting 75% on KK3r is not a great strategy. It's another thing to be able to detail exactly whythat is and what the actual exploit is you can use to take advantage. There are so many ways to find new edges against so many different types of players, but you'll never find those edges if you don't get that work in away from the table.

So through 5/26 I find myself at 39,459 hands on the month. The plan each week in May was 2k hands each day Mon-Thurs, 1k hands each Friday and Sunday. With that I'd hit 48.5k hands on the month. There was a part of me tempted to blast through to hit 50k, while the other part of me wants to stay consistent and ensure I don't burn out. I'll recap the month in the next update.

Weekly Results

Meditation 7, Walk 7, Soda 0
Studied 12.5, Played 26.25, Coached 1.25, Total 40

I might add back some sort of "stretch" or "exercise" category in June. I finished up with PT this week. The physical therapist still doesn't think I should run much. She wants my legs stronger so I don't fall back into injury. She's given me the green light to do some really light 1 minute run, 1 minute walk for 10-15 minute types of efforts but insists I don't get back into running until I reach a certain threshold with my legs. The PT sessions themselves are too expensive with my insurance not covering a ton, so I'm going to join a gym and continue to do the exercises she's shown me in hopes of getting the necessary strength in my legs to enjoy running again. I used the free trial day at my friend's gym last night. We went together and he showed me some upper body exercises (I have absolutely no upper body strength and would like to start training this part of my body *before* getting injured). So I think I'll officially join that gym in hopes of keeping myself healthy as I quickly approach my 33rd birthday.

2024 Week 22

5/27-6/2 saw me get 10,634 hands in. It was my biggest week of profit since starting back up on my own (spoiler, that record will be crushed in week 23). The mild panic I felt shortly after the backing deal ended feels like it was forever ago now. My confidence in my ability to not only make a living but to thrive doing it is higher than I possibly could've hoped for a month ago. I've been playing extremely well, mostly due to the way I've approached the game. Any time I feel like a reg has made a play that I don't understand, I'm extremely eager to figure out what was going on. Was this a mistake? Is he trying to exploit me? Have I left the door open in my game to be exploited? How do I tighten this up and play better in theory next time? How can I exploit this player if I think they are trying to exploit me?

I've been sun running the last couple weeks on top of playing well and that's led to the results I've seen. There have been short moments where I start to fixate on how good the results I've been, which inevitably are replaced by some stress in knowing these results will clearly cool off soon and a downswing could be right around the corner. Anytime thoughts like this start to come in though I'm quick to focus on what actually matters: putting in hours, putting in hands, studying. Put more simple, trying my best and putting in effort. So long as I'm always doing that and I don't lose focus on it, the results really do not matter. I'm also quick to remind myself that I was downswinging 5 figures in a week a lot of the time playing tournaments when I was backed. Now that I'm heavily focused on this cash grind, that's extremely unlikely to happen given the stakes I'm playing. All the trials I went through while backed and playing MTTs will allow me to put perspective on any sort of tough stretch I may hit on my own playing cash.

Every session I've played I'm taking tons of notes on everything, marking hands, writing out thoughts about hands themselves, about how I feel, about something I don't feel particularly sharp with that I'd like to study later. For example, Sunday 6/2 I have several notes written down. First is "AsQc rolled 25% raise on turn." So the next time I studied I find the marked AQ hand and run through it. I open AQo co, sb reg 3b's, I call, QJ6r he b33 I call, turn Ad he b25. I watched a great video called "The EV of Equity Realization" by TheWakko on GTOWiz (highly recommend) that made me realize I've done two things somewhat poorly in the past. 1) I let others realize equity too easily in a lot of spots and 2) I prevent myself from realizing my own equity. So this turn spot felt like one where if I never raise vs this 25% sizing, I'm letting hands like flush draws and weak aces and KK and JT realize their equity way too easily. Now, I haven't studied this spot enough to be totally confident in this strategy, so I decide to roll a raise 25% of the time. I hit that 25%, raised, and got a tank fold.

Even when you force a fold from something as weak as TT here, you've showered the 14% of the pot he's entitled to vs my AQ. However, you clearly can't raise all your strong hands here or you're calling range will be quite weak and you'll be open to getting blasted off hands when players triple aggressively. So making sure to normally call this hand but raise it some of the time makes some sense to me. When I ran this through the sim, AQo raised 36% of the time. Again, I've never looked at this specific sim, but to see that I'm very close to hitting what the solver wants to do is extremely encouraging and gets me fired up to keep working hard. The small bet from my opponent is also in line with what the solver wants to do, given the tops of our ranges are similar while the middle to bottom of his range is stronger (he has more two pair, top pair, and second pair than us).

I often take dozens of notes per day like the one above, along with marking other hands I don't write anything about. Whenever I have time to study I make sure to reference the hands I took notes on before looking at other marked hands. They all help. I've made it a point to become a lot more solid with preflop ranges as well. I've made my own charts that reference some other charts which are easier for me to implement and play well. I then use the trainer in GTOWiz to see which hands I feel uncomfortable with, referencing my charts while I train. Then when I play I put the charts away, and if I find myself forgetting what to do with a hand pre, I mark it get back to work after the session.

All in all things are going great and I'm excited to keep pushing forward.

Weekly Results

Meditation 7, Walk 7, Soda 0
Studied 9.5, Played 27, Coached 0, Total 36.5

I'm considering shifting the 10k hand goal per week into a more hourly and effort oriented goal but I'm not committed to that yet. In June I'll experiment with different schedules. I got nearly all my hands in before 7pm in May but in June I may do a few more night time sessions.

Speaking of May, the final tally landed on 48,718 hands played, 59.5 hours studied, 119.5 hours played, 1.25 hours coached, 180.25 hours total. That sets records for me in both hours studied and total hours. I played 33,693 cash hands from Jan-Apr of this year. The most cash hands I played in a month in the last 2 years was 27,977; I nearly doubled that total in May. Going forward I may focus more on hours and quality of play as opposed to quantity, but it was great to know I'm capable of this kind of effort. I want to keep the effort level as high as possible regardless of what I make my specific goals in the future.

Glad to hear the transition is going well,
Playing WSOP Main this year?

Thanks. I think I will be, yes. I'm pretty torn between firing it all on my own (kinda financially irresponsible but it's once a year and cash has gone great so far), attempting to sell at really high markup (small chance Shaun Deeb would come after me for the number I'm thinking about lol), or selling at more reasonable (but still pretty high) markup. I've been a tourney pro for a long time, made day 6 back to back years, and now focus on 100+ bb cash games, so I feel like I'm probably one of the best buys in the field of those who are actually selling action. Gonna think about it some more before deciding on final option.

Shoot me a DM if you decide to sell to the public for the main.

Not positive I'd do it but I think I'd love a sweat

I think I land on the side that a lot of the markups people sell at for the main don't leave much room for investors to have a worthwhile return (and many are -ev for the investor). But if you can get a super high markup nothing wrong with taking it as long as being honest when selling. Vast majority of people buying pieces are clearly doing it just to have an enjoyable sweat in the case of a deep run as entertainment. Firing all on your own seems like a way worse option imo but I also much prefer giving myself as smooth a ride as reasonably possible as a pro. Bricking a 10k+ expenses a lot of the time and then having to go grind out of that hole before repeaking is a mental game strain I'd prefer to avoid. End of the day you know yourself best and what your financial situation is. Whichever way you go best of luck in making another day 6 and beyond.

If I end up selling I will!

I agree that right now it might not make the most sense for me to fire all on own dime. A big part of me is tempted to skip this year, grind my ass off the next 12 months, and reevaluate the bankroll then with the potential of going out for a normal summer next year. I have specific numbers defined now for how much of a liferoll I want at all times, and the rest I can put into my bankroll. From there I have bankroll guidelines on what % I can put into MTTs I play. I have a number in mind of how much I'd want of each bullet live to make it feel like the trip to Vegas in 2025 would be worth it to play a full schedule (and would sell for anything over that number to buy ins bigger than it). This is all a tentative long term plan so we'll see what happens!

2024 Week 23

Falling a bit behind on these updates as I've really been utilizing all my work time towards studying or playing, then allowing myself time to rest when it's planned.

Week 23 was 6/3-6/9 and the extremely hot streak continued. I got 10,059 hands in, just eclipsing the 10k goal. I ran absurdly hot and won more in this week than I was hoping to make each month. I had a nice winning day Monday then followed that up by winning 10x that much on Tuesday and Wednesday combined.

After getting 2k+ hands in each of those days, I got a 1k+ hand session in early on Thursday (once again winning 2x what I won Monday). I tried to get something in later that day but realized I did not have the time to put in a proper session. Amy was taking me out to dinner for my birthday so we went to a nice restaurant near us and she treated me to a nice steak and some drinks.

Friday 6/7 was my birthday and I put in my first losing day I'd had in the last 8 days I'd played (and only the 2nd in the last 12), losing less than what I'd won on Monday so it was more break even than losing tbh. That night I went to a beerfest they were having in Jersey City on the water at Liberty State Park. A bunch of my friends showed up and it was a really great time. A few of them were aware of my situation and were offering condolences and telling me they'd help me if I ever needed it and stuff like that. Meanwhile I'd been making more than I could've possibly hoped for and was doing it without any of the stress that MTTs had gotten me used to. It was this really cool reminder that I have a lot of people in my corner and I'm extremely lucky in that regard. It was also a funny reminder of how panicked I was just a month earlier about my new situation, and how incredible it'd been to run hot to kick it off. I'd put a ton of effort and hours and work in over the course of May but that doesn't always mean big results would occur. Luckily for me they did this time.

Saturday 6/8 I took off, then Sunday 6/9 (nice) I won over 2x what I did on Monday once again. Just an insane week overall and I realized now more than ever it was going to be vital to buckle down and continue getting hands in. I was in a strange place; I felt a little burned out from how much I'd been playing and studying (I had now eclipsed 60k hands in the 40 days since the deal had ended) but I was also riding high on the insane win streak I was on. In the past I'd sometimes rested on my laurels when things were going well. I was determined not to do that this time. A downswing could always be right around the corner and hammering through hands and staying sharp no matter what variance threw at me was going to be the best way to handle things.

Weekly Results

Meditation 7, Walk 7, Soda 0
Studied 9, Played 28.25, Coached 1.25, Total 38.5

2024 Week 24

The week of 6/10-6/16 was the week the hot streak would finally cool off and I'd find my first losing week on my own. Fortunately I felt very okay with it and almost welcomed the adversity after things had been coming so easily to me for a while. It's been a lot of fun to watch how trends play out over large chunks of hands. In tournaments it's obvious that you need to win the flips in the huge spots in order to have success. In cash it's more vague but the variance is still noticeable. Sure, there are preflop all ins and sometimes you'll get dealt KK to AA way more than the other way around, but the more interesting ones to me are the 3b+ pots and who's winning those. I noticed that during the hot streak when I 4b AK and got peeled, I flopped top pair a ton. When I 4b JJ btn vs sb and they peeled and flop came AK3, I'd cb and they'd fold. When I had AK, they'd call 2 streets and tank call river with AQ,AJ,AT, whatever. Oh, look at that, I've flopped a set of 4s YET AGAIN vs SB 3b on a K high board.

This week, however, the JJ cbet did not get through because I did not have the best hand. I found myself getting the T98 flop with AK a lot in 3b+ pots. Very often my decision in week 23 was "how do I get the most with this very strong hand?" In week 24 the decision was often "does this hand make sense to bluff with?" The more of these different types of stretches I go through, the better I'll be at taking what I'm given and literally playing the hand I'm dealt. Something's really been clicking with me in the last few days where I recognize that there are going to be some sessions where I'm dealt a lot of spots where my job is to lose the minimum. Some sessions the job is to make the maximum. Some sessions the job is to 3b SB vs BTN and xf flop, over and over and over again, and to not get an ego just because I WANT to win a hand since I've lost a bunch in a row.

I've had quite a few sessions now where it feels like every time I 3b SB vs BTN with KQo I get peeled and the flop comes 876dd and it's just like wtf man. Do I REALLY need to xf AGAIN? And the answer is yes lol. If you want to be a great poker player, you sure do need to xf again! Because it doesn't matter what's happened recently. The strategy here is still to xf KQo, even to that frustrating little 25% float where you want to convince yourself that you've got the Qd so this bdfd is something you could get after it with and your opponent maybe floats flop too often so you should be punishing him with some weaker stuff with a backdoor once in a while...as soon as I start thinking like this, it's clear I'm not playing my A game anymore.

And I think one of my favorite things I'm noticing with all this data is when I notice someone ELSE is going through it. Why the hell did this normally very tight guy absolutely lose his mind in this spot where this hand never bluffs turn, let alone shoves river?? Well, probably because he's tired of losing and is trying to make something happen. I'm determined not to fall into that kind of trap where I play worse because of what's happened recently.

But it's very fortunate that this tough stretch has come immediately after a stretch that I imagine happens something like once a year?? I ran SO hot for two weeks and while I want to give myself some credit (and I certainly deserve some), this mini downswing has done well to humble me and remind me that there's still a ton of variance in cash, even if it's nothing compared to MTTs. However, I'm determined to never let variance be the thing I blame losing on the most, so the more I lose the hungrier I get to improve and make sure I really am doing everything in my power to produce good results.

I only got 1700 hands in Monday after starting playing earlier than I'd planned since I logged on and saw some great games. That first session went well profit-wise but I didn't get enough hands in. I tried to make up for that later and lost all the profit back, probably not playing my A game. At that point I decided I was going to play 2 x 2.5 hour sessions per day going forward. Hopefully that would be enough to get those 2k hands in, but if I missed the 2k hands that was okay so long as the quality of my hands was high. Playing too many tables and forcing in 1/2 to fill out the screen just doesn't make sense when I can be more focused on my 2/5 and 5/10s when those other games aren't in there.

Tuesday I broke even in just over 2k hands. Wednesday I more or less broke even again in 2.1k hands, before Thursday I had a losing session in 1.8k hands. I was at 7.6k hands through 4 days, when pace was 8k hands, and on Friday I played my half day session. I played 2.5 hours, had a nice session, got 1k hands in, and shoulda taken it easy that night. Amy was going to the city with friends so I could just lay on the couch and relax after working hard all week. Instead, I fired up some more cash at 8pm, and by 9pm I tossed my mouse over my shoulder in frustration and realized I'd made a pretty big mistake in trying to play again. I wanted to push through the downswing, which makes it clear that my mind was not on the right things. I should have been focused on having achieved my goals for playing for the week and realized it was important to relax and recharge sometimes. Instead I played bad for an hour chasing another 500 hands and lost a bunch.

Outside of studying for an hour on Saturday, I took the entire day off, determined to learn from my mistake the day before. Sunday was Fathers Day and my family came to Hoboken where I took them out to lunch and spent the day with them. It was a really great time and I got back to my apartment around 5pm and full of booze and sugar. I decided to take the whole day off and really recharge my batteries. I'd often feel bad about taking an unplanned day like this but I think this was the best decision for me. I could've forced myself to play 846 hands to get to an even 10k on the week, but if I had a losing session I think I would have been very frustrated and discouraged about playing the next week. So I relaxed the rest of the day, watched the new season of The Boys, got out my Oculus (VR headset) for the first time in a long time and played some games on there, and really felt refreshed when I woke up the next day.

Weekly Results

Meditation 7, Walk 7, Soda 0
Studied 13.25, Played 23.25, Coached 0, Total 36.5

I'm very happy with how I've felt during this small losing stretch and am excited to keep working hard. It's like I've got a goal and motivation now. As insane as it sounds, I was almost losing motivation because of how easy it felt while I was on the upswing . Hitting a downswing will make the next upswing feel that much better and remind me how important it is to keep grinding when things are going well!

2024 Week 25

I played 6461 hands from 6/17-6/23 which was to be expected. After a solid 3 days of grinding Monday-Wednesday I woke up at 4am Thursday with Amy, took an Uber to Newark, and hopped on a 6:30 flight to Florida. Amy's brother-in-law very kindly invited us to spend some time at a home his family owns near Jupiter, Florida, so Amy and I joined he and Amy's sister there for the weekend. It was absolutely beautiful and I forgot how much I love spending time at the beach. The water was incredibly warm and felt amazing, the house was lovely, and I got to spend a lot of quality time with people I consider family at this point. We wanted to fly back Sunday but pretty much all flights got cancelled so we stayed another day to come home Monday night. I didn't take many pics but this one was from Blue Pointe Bar and Grill, overlooking the Indian River. The ocean is on the other side of those trees in the distance.



As far as poker goes, I got my 5 hours of play and a couple hours of study in each of the 3 days I was home. I was worried about getting out of rhythm due to being away. After a couple days in Florida I was so glad I went. It felt great getting in the ocean again and getting exercise that didn't remind me my legs are achy. I'm never in any real agony when it comes to running but there's always a little reminder that I'm getting older each day. When I was in the ocean I felt exactly like I did when I was a kid and it was rejuvenating. As Sunday rolled around I started to think about poker again and it didn't make me anxious at all. I'd had my time off and I was excited to get back to work. After the flight got cancelled I realized I could take one more day to enjoy myself and then the grind would begin again on Tuesday. This upcoming week will be shortened once again as I have to leave early on Friday to go to my friend's bachelor party. I feel differently about this upcoming trip now that I experienced the Florida trip. It'll be a lot of fun to celebrate my friend who's getting married next month and I'll be fully in the moment all weekend. But I'm not worried at all about struggling to get back into rhythm once the trip is over.

Weekly Results

Meditation 7, Walk 7, Soda 0
Studied 8.75, Played 15.25, Coached 0, Total 24

I write this 7-7-0 line down each week and it's easy to take it for granted, but there are times where I forget to meditate or I haven't hit 5k steps by nighttime and I have to squeeze it in. I'm proud of how I've made this such a consistent part of my daily life for nearly 6 months now. It's great that I can book a win every day by simply making sure I hit these daily goals.

Haven't seen an update in a while hope you're doing okay

Hey Dan just checking in. Haven't talked in awhile, hope things are good with you.

He was playing 3 days ago. I assume everything is fine, he just hasn't updated here for whatever reason.