I've been a losing player turn winning player turn losing player (from tilt)

I've gotten "ok" at the game of poker, what I have not gotten better at is my tilt..

I've lost so much money due to tilt, trying to go up stakes to win back my losses.. etc

I'm tired of this. I want to be a winner.

I player hypers.. check out my sick graph..

http://www.sharkscope.com/#Player-St...players/ikzzzz

Deposited 100 again.. going to use STRICT bankroll management playing hyper turbos.. my only goal is to turn a profit.

just wanted to post a few more things

I'm a previous drug addict.. everyone knows that story.. just can't put it down.. I would just smoke myself stupid all day, one gram blunts at a time, I used to sell molly, LSD.. Gave it up. I can't live like that anymore.

I decided to stay sober so I can pursue my dream of just having some freedom for once... I had to decide.. the drugs or poker.. if I were to be a winner at poker, and I had a drug problem.. I don't think I would be a winner for long..

I could easily go through 2k in drugs in a week if I really wanted to..

My MAIN goal is to quit my current 9/hr job and just grind live poker.. but I am currently paying off a massive (well, to me) hospital bill because I ended up overdosing at a festival and my insurance just rolled over so I ended up having to pay over 4000 dollars (lol america) for the ambulance and the over night stay.. honestly wish they would've just left me there because I ended up taking 5 tabs of DOB/DOC/2c*. It was sold to me as "acid" but I knew when I tasted the bitter taste it wasn't.. I wasn't aware that I could overdose off of 5 tabs, when I take real acid I can take as much as I want and nothing bad would happen.. well.. my mistake.

I'm so done with my **** life, time for a change.

Merge Game #70729855-192 (Tournament) | Holdem NL | 07/05/2013 20:01:54 EST | Version:2
Table $3K Gtd - [Deep, R/1A], 70568926, Seats 9 (Tournament: $3K Gtd - [Deep, R/1A], 70568926)
Seat 1: Armoff ($76,338.00 in chips)
Seat 2: streZet ($25,785.00 in chips)
Seat 3: OKCthundrfan3 ($5,620.00 in chips)
Seat 4: letzTanGo33 ($51,562.00 in chips)
Seat 5: Clive1249 ($29,130.00 in chips)
Seat 6: ikzzzz ($59,783.00 in chips)
Seat 7: Phone123491 ($111,226.00 in chips) DEALER
Seat 8: Bigdaddy00959 ($5,938.00 in chips)
Seat 9: AUDACITY18 ($55,900.00 in chips)
Armoff: Post Ante $150.00
streZet: Post Ante $150.00
OKCthundrfan3: Post Ante $150.00
letzTanGo33: Post Ante $150.00
Clive1249: Post Ante $150.00
ikzzzz: Post Ante $150.00
Phone123491: Post Ante $150.00
Bigdaddy00959: Post Ante $150.00
AUDACITY18: Post Ante $150.00
Bigdaddy00959: Post SB $750.00
AUDACITY18: Post BB $1,500.00
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to ikzzzz [Qc Qd]
Armoff: Call $1,500.00
streZet: Fold
OKCthundrfan3: Fold
letzTanGo33: Fold
Clive1249: Fold
ikzzzz: Raise $8,100.00
Phone123491: Fold
Bigdaddy00959: Fold
AUDACITY18: Allin $54,250.00
Armoff: Fold
ikzzzz: Call $47,650.00
*** FLOP *** [7d 7h Qh]
*** TURN *** [Kd]
*** RIVER *** [4s]
*** SUMMARY ***
ikzzzz: Shows [Qc Qd]
AUDACITY18: Shows [Kc Kh]

i'm seriously so gutted right now.. i just get so close to the ****ing bubble, last time i had AA vs 99 and he sucks out

jesus christ i just can't even suck out one time

last night i also was coolered in a turbo

i'm just so lost right now

i'm just glad i'm not taking my entire roll to the table right now

i'm just gonna log off

GL man!

Gl, with getting clean more than the poker. One will be life changing the other is just beneficial.
Btw poker is not the best thing for you if you want to keep a level head but that is up to you.

few things

• Use hand history converter (we are all to lazy to read raw HH nowadys)
• Get yourself "the poker mindset" book its suppose to be great
• http://www.husng.com/content/sgt-rj-...-control-poker watch this for a better understanding of what tilt is and how you can try to reduce it.
• try find yourself another hobby apart from poker, something less stressful.

btw, you say you are going to use strict BRM on the hypers. Are you playing 50c games? 200+ buyins is strict for hypers. I personally think 100 is minimum but 50 could be ok if you can bring yourself to move up and down when needed.

i'm fine with losing my bankroll ATM, i have 50 buy ins for the 2s, and if i really suck i can drop down to the 1s.

also thanks for the advice, and i lift as my other main hobby so it's a great stress reliever

damn i've had bad beats before but that one really stung.

the old me would just get some drugs right now and try and forget what just happened, but i can't keep repeating that pattern

and i understand poker isn't the best thing right now for me, but it feels like a way out, i'm so tired of my **** life.. i need to do this for myself. i WANT this freedom. no matter what it takes

Well gl, hope it works that way for you.
you won't get anywhere in poker with the mindset you have at the moment though, even if you play like ivey on your A game.

Busted my bankroll again, I need a break from poker and to reevaluate my life right now.

I just suck so bad I don't know why. I might end up just quitting forever if I can't figure out what's wrong =/

ikz don't give up. U can do it.

thanks man.. i'm just so upset lately not sure what i need to do anymore

Best advice I can give you is:

Play cash 2NL: play a very specific range pre flop. Don't deviate from it. Be prepared to fold good hands to extreme aggression from TAGS & LAGS & Unknowns, unless you have reason to believe villain is a maniac. Play less hands and go to showdown less often.

& Keep the spirit up, you'll gain your confidence in no time.

Ikz.. I feel you bro.. sometimes I feel like life is some $hit when I lose money at poker.. and I have a professional job and all

I also like to get high and do whatever drugs are needed to make me feel better.. mainly just weed yay and maybe molly or whatever else I want to find

But honestly, it's all about balance and perspective.. poker is fun and it's a great hobby but IT CAN'T BE YOUR LIFE!! you gotta have other things going on.. other projects and activities you can do to refocus your time and energy

Spend time with (non-poker) friends, try to start a business, go to school, find other hobbies, whatever.. just don't get so fixated on one thing that you overlook everything else that life can offer you

Lol I feel like I'm writing this to myself.. but good luck with everything I really do wish you the best!

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using 2+2 Forums

reread all your posts on 2+2. Do you recognize the pattern? Do you know what is the cause for that? Do you know what makes you play above your BR? Until you find that out and change it, you don't need to play any more. You will be losing. What made you do drugs? It is the same thing which makes you play above your BR.

hey man, thanks a bunch.

I'm happy to now state that I've only smoked TWICE since I posted this thread. I took a break from poker and.. I'm baaaaaaack

Deposited 240, now up to 530, goal right now is to break even.. here is my current graph since i started from hypers (playing only hypers now)



Run good I know

GOAL:

Don't tilt
Save up 10k and when I hit 3k start playing 1/2 at the local casino
Work out a ton (just now recovering from an injury, here's a gif of me LOL)



STUDY

That's my biggest problem, studying. I'm studying now and getting coaching in a week.

WISH ME LUCK

All the best OP! U can do it.

when i lost most of my bankroll, asked the guy to check my all in ADJ



knew i wasn't crazy, but it was a lesson i needed to learn

haven't been running TOO well either..

down 5 bi in turbos, up 5 bi in hypers

had a session where i tilted hard but i picked myself back up and back to 500~.. lol i feel like i'm breaking even hard

getting coaching soon, hope it makes the difference i need