Goals from yesterday:
Contract: Morning work bout
COMPLETE
Poker: 1 work bout (length >= 30 mins)
NOT COMPLETE: used time after doc appointment to tidy up other health related stuff and do research which consisted of a single 1.5 hour bout. Not sure if it was the right call or not.
Exercise:
Soccer Game
SEMI-COMPLETE: I might have torn my meniscus
Nutrition:
>2200 calories
>100g protein
no goal for stopping eating before sleep cuz of soccer game at 9:15p. I'll plan to eat after.
NOT COMPLETE
I think I'll change my goals up a bit so it incorporates more of the process of a good eating schedule as opposed to outcome of food eaten
Journal:
continue format
COMPLETE
Goals for tmo:
Contract Work:
Get a single work bout in
Implement a new rule where I do not schedule any appointments that would affect my two morning work bouts. These past appointments in the day have been affecting my ability to lock down my contract and have enough time leftover to study poker. Even if I cut time on the contract there is some mental tilt when studying poker, feeling like I should work on the contract since that amount of work is not perceived to be sustainable day to day
Poker:
Preflop combo counting.
Physical Health:
PRIORITY: Get possible torn meniscus checked out
Mental Health:
Keep a strong mindset and be aware that gravitating toward hedonistic activities will not alleviate the mental pain of these constant injuries. Life variance baby. On the bright side, I'm getting shoulder surgery in two weeks so I'll be resting anyway.
Getting injuries like this gets me thinking about things with massive variance. In cash game, the variance is massive, but it's still low enough (and you can put in enough volume) to overcome it over a somewhat reasonable period of time. Not live MTTs tho lol. You can also control your bankroll management strategy such that you never hit 0. Some things aren't like this. Some dips in variance you cannot recover from. For example, if I'm exercising to increase my physical health, I slip, land on my neck, and get paralyzed, there's no volume of exercise I can do to reverse that. Some people get the worst of variance and die at a young age. A few people I knew in high school died very young from mostly bad variance. Of course there were some things they could have done to reduce the likelihood of it happening (and I think extreme accountability makes life much more meaningful) but there's only so much you can do. I feel grateful to be in relatively good health and not have caught the worst of variance. I could be a vegetable and I could have gotten a terrible head injury and reduced my IQ to 50. People who have to suffer that magnitude of loss have my sympathy. They do not have my empathy. One thing I've learned from poker is that you truly do not understand variance until it happens to you. You can do the math and see that it might happen. But it happening to you is entirely different. Taking a permanent swing like that must be devastating. If you were to attach your emotions to outcome (physical health of YOURSELF ONLY), you'd be emotionally crushed or resentful for the rest of your life. I think the outcome still matters, very few of us would play poker if we all made zero dollars. So how do you reconcile this problem?
An extra layer of protection against these swings is to value the physical health of society. Do what you can to improve the physical health of others even though yours may be permanently capped. An example is Ed Roberts. He lived half his life in an iron lung and half his life in a wheelchair. Yet he used his life to be an activist for those with disabilities (source is 3 sentences from Tony Robbins). The point here is to understand that valuing others is a layer of protection from the suffering of the world. Not only that, in my experience, it makes it much more enjoyable. This is because there are so many more things you can do. The ceiling is so much higher to what you can achieve. I try to treat everyone as a friend, and people may say I'm very nice, a good person, or unselfish. However, I believe my motivations deep down are entirely selfish. Valuing other people makes my life less painful and more interesting. Does that make me a good person? I don't know, and I don't know if the answer even matters. Could be another thing to think about.
Another thing to think about is what about the scenario of a catastrophic event that wipes out all of mankind, except you. No offspring possible. How do you frame that to not lose your ****? Food for thought.
I have to go to bed now. Biyas