My man. I watched a youtube video of your hands last year and it was very beautiful poker. Have faith in your skill and just realize that variance is one of the invisible costs of the game that everyone has to pay and it is designed to weed out the weak from the strong. You either blossom from it or die at the root. Stay focused my man.

What video? I'd like to see that as well

ty man, gl to you aswell. Good to see you back on 2p2 And about the variance, sometimes it drives me mad, sometimes I deal well with it.....

I wonder too, can you link maybe mrPeru?


-----




Decided to play a madman 12hour/12tabling session yesterday. Ran pretty well With rake (too lazy to import hands) but also with leaderboard moneys around +$8k day.



SirJoost1679the3rd of the 500fr pool

There were a lot of crazy hands, I'm not gonna bother looking through them all right now but couple fun ones:





missclick pre = autostack off to prevent showdown proceeds to show cards




Poker wasn't going so well this week & last week, so hopefully I can use this as motivation to regain myself and have a bit more professional approach again.

Tried to find it but couldn't remember the channel and of all the usual replay channels none had it. Might have been deleted.

Month was going very well:



Untill doomswitch was turned on again:



Total month so far:



Got like 6k in rakeback, and lost 5k on untracked site. Ofcourse I can't complain, but losing always hurts. I hope to be able to end the month positively and I also hope to play well again despite the bad run last couple days. I was playing with a lot of confidence, but it backfired a bit. Couple massive bluffs on 1k went wrong (literally ran into the nuts 3times with 150bb+ eff all in bluff)....





h1 My thought process was flawed ingame, I thought I can have raising range with strong Ax+, therefor villain can still 3bet with strong non-straight hands and that's why I like to unblock pairs (and block straights). But in hindsight think villains 3betting range is way more polar than I thought....

h2 punished for opening slightly too wide :/ btw ran the sim to ease my mind, 88 is folding range and villain is not suppose to have random non-full house Ax in super polar range otr so better to turn random Ax that block boats into a bluff according to professor pio

I'm far from a super genius and easy to conclude a certain play is bad when you run into the nuts, the same stuff was going through in the days before the doomswitch started. But still with this in mind I don't like both plays, but I need to accept my (potential) mistakes and learn from them (the cliches). Feel free to give your opinion on the hands.

No more 1k this month! Despite the bad feeling of last couple days it's still a +20k month and I don't want to completely ruin it Time to regain confidence at 500nl and 200fr.

fwiw this only applies for gg I'm thinking about depositing a little on certain site and for certain reasons I need to run it up. I was just about to play and thought it would be awkward if some sort of dispute breaks out about it, hence this post to make sure

wasnt this freeroll because zoom format triggers some addictive behaviors from you?

hahaha more or less

It's mainly just because I lack discipline sometimes when I'm a bit tilted and stuck, and it's really easy when the action is a bit dead to load up 4 tables of rush and cash instead and for me this is just a waste of time for multiple reasons: Goes way too fast for my poor focus, lots of stress and tilt in those awful pools, supernitmeta where I only run into the nuts so could only be slightly +ev when I'm calm/super focussed. Hence I came up with that bounty post. Zoom on for example pokerstars I also experience too much stress and waste of time compared to current ev but at least there I'm probably +ev, had like 3-4evbb there or something last year (and then with some rb it's decent because lots of hands/h) so wanted to play that on the side (mainly heads up zoom) to run up a small roll there. But yeah I couldn't deposit anyway because of my location, so ended up not doing it.

I don't think I complained a lot about bad run in this blog. In general it's something I try to not do too often and even for myself I try to keep this entitled narrative like "I run bad and I deserve to run well" out of my head. Also I find it annoying when for example a friend just rambles on about how he is the unluckiest guy in the universe and that he runs the worst every time he gets coolered or has losing session. Also I want to say, I try to not put myself in a positions where if I lose it's gonna give me a strong emotional responds. If this is the case I shouldn't play it and if I play just take the ev and be a man if it goes bad (which in thise case, I failed).

But yeah atm I keep having this narrative in my head after it happened so I might aswell rant a little to write it out. I was just playing a session, playing well and focused and was going allright. I see a 1k table pop up too good to ignore. Now I have a rule with myself at this point to only play 1k during upswing, unless the spot is too good to ignore. And I thought this was the case. So yeah I sit down and again immediately get coolered twice for 2stacks, and afterwards the table just snapbreaks because the recreational that coolered me, punted it off. It's so incredible how every time I play it the doomswitch turns on. So ****ing frustrating man, just once again whole session down the drain. And I'm down now 40k+ this year on 1k over like 40/50k hands (with rakeback it's far less bad tho). And this frustration is starting to build up again, that so many times while playing my highest stake I have this shitrun.





pain

While I sat down I tried to prepair for this scenario, but still I felt a lot of accumalated emotion/entitlement coming up while it happened again. But yeah writing it out helps. While writing this I already calmed down. It can happen. If I didn't have this emotional responds, it would have been worth in terms of risk/reward. And despite running super bad at 1k this year, overall it's going well and I'm running fine (jackpot ev not included but let's not even start there hahaha). Will try to stop whining again from now on

Interesting you have a 20k month without rkb included and you feel like this for two hands, its a great month, keep it up

pain

Best month so far in terms of profit:



With some rakeback and losing 5k on untracked site it's +$26k (previous best month was +22k). After I peaked somewhere in the middle of the month, I hit a nice $16.5k (2700bb) downswing. But luckily the bad run didn't stick for too long and I managed to not **** it all up somehow.

I played my last session on Thursday night and I'm currently on a break from the grind. I will start playing again probably on Tuesday. I was in a very nice flow with my game being sharp and good study habits + mental game felt strong. And usually after a break these things are a bit less sharp, but my expectations are too high. So I'm gonna try to start slowly again (low volume, shorter sessions) for a few days and try to be aware.

glgl next month

Hey dude, just wanted to tell you that you inspired me a lot. I resonate a lot with the mental health stuff you posted in the beginning. Im also in a similar spot you were in at the beginning. I also read that you were grinding in vienna for some time; would have loved to contact you back then but i wasnt even playing poker at that time haha
gl next month

Nice to hear mate, I wish you gl in your journey.


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It's the year 2047. As someone who is nearing 50 years of age I realize I'm not the youngest anymore. My hair is turning greyer by the day, and my energy levels are not what they used to be. But something more extreme and unusual is happening. When I walk up the stairs I'm completely out of breath, I'm sometimes waking up at night sweating like a madman with my heart going crazy & the other day I fainted during grocery shopping just to be woken up by the staff members that confirmed me the price of a carton of milk is indeed €17.49. After the incident in the supermarket I finally went to see a doctor who did some sort of routine check. When he checked on my heart rate he nearly jumped out of his chair and immediately sent me to the hospital.

And there I was, in the hospital doing all sorts of Cardiac test. The setting was kinda looking like 50 cent"s "In Da Club" videoclip. But instead of a muscled rapper with a sweatband around his forehead, you see a tall slim man who looks like he is in his late 60"s with a worried look on his face exercising sizing with wires attached to his body. "Can you please tell me what the **** is going on?" Is what I asked the staff member who is wearing a white doctor's coat with semi bald hair. By the serious look on his face I knew I was in some serious trouble.

"Sir, you may not like what I have to tell you but it's looking like you have severe heart problems"
"Oh, alright than. That doesn't sound good"
"Do you have any prior history with heart disease and do does anyone in your family have a history with this?"
"No not that I'm aware of"
"Do you have any idea what might have caused this?"

I went in a deep brainstorm summarizing my life, and one thing came to mind. When I was in my mid-20's I went on to pursuit a career in online poker. It was 16 years ago when I played my last hand, but I remember the times quite well. I remember how exciting it was, me making a living out trying to outsmart my opponents in some (online) card game. Me vs the world working on a masterplan all by myself to create something out of nothing. But I also remember the downsides and stress it gave me. No real financial security, the future is a mystery, Constantly having financial swings, Variance always came when I felt not so ready for it. And also while playing sometimes I endured a bunch of stress, and sometimes I experienced these heart rate spikes when I got involved in certain hands.

"Yes, I think I have an idea. I pursued a career in a relatively high-stress field"
"You have any specific event that comes to mind in correlation with your current diagnosis?" (Because of his coat, I thought this guy was a doctor but apparently he also takes on the roll of a therapist)

Again I went into the tank (even after 16 years I still use the poker terms in my vocabulary), this hand came to mind that I played 23 years ago:



"No Doc (or whatever you are), I actually have nothing in mind."

We ended up chatting a little about some casual stuff like how the new Iphone 26 knows more about us than we know our selfs, how hot Margot Robbie was in her 30"s and Chelsea having spend only 12 billion pounds last summer was unexpectedly low and I was on my way out. As I stood in the doorway the guy in the white coat asks me out of nowhere:

"Sir, do you have any regrets in your choices? It seems like it's taking it's toll with this diagnosis"

(This guy is supposedly a doctor, psychologist and now also my conscious?)

"Uhmmm well, yeah there is actually something I regret..... I regret making the 3bb error of betting the river and instead I should have gone for the check/raise all in sir"

Before he can give his confused reaction (allthough it this point it wouldn't have suprised me if this strange guy also knew a bunch about poker) I stumble out the door with a smile on my face

Haha I always enjoy reading your blog, good stuff

^^

one of the best 2p2 blogs atm

Subbed lollllllllllllllllllllll
Lets go glgl !!

Ty guys

yo guys, for a while I wanted to do this but I was hesitant because:

1. It's pretty embarrassing that I need to do stuff like this to prevent myself from playing it, and that I'm not disciplined enough sometimes if I see a super +ev opportunity
2. The risk/reward is pretty close to almost worth it. I've had such good and +ev opportunities the last months playing it (and I know they will appear again) and apparently I can lose a lot of buy ins there and still have a good year

But yeah, just opened discord and after already complaining a bit about the bad run here and thinking about not playing it anymore this was the nail in the coffin:



(in Dutch, "I see your month going well again, lfg")

So I'm thinking, what is he talking about? I'm down for the month (only down a little). Than I figured he probably looking at one of these tracking sites and can't see my results for 1k and above. So I checked my tracker and yeah that was pretty confronting.... Because again in the 3k hands I played on 1k this month I lost more than 10k which is more than I won in the 10k hands I played on other limits. And this has to stop. For months I been taking shots, and even now after being down 47 buys ins I don't regret it (for the most part). Because a decent % of volume I played there, was for sure +ev.

And also facing opponents who play regularly 5k+ made me learn from playing them/analyzing their game, but also confronted me how bad I am (relatively) in this game which is something I needed (and also look for coaching but will make different post about this) and drop the ego a bit thinking I was already good and that it was only a matter of having roll and better mindset to move up. It was pretty confronting at first realizing how big the gap was between me and some of them in terms of skill, and it really hurt my confidence and it almost demotivated me. Even though I was making the most money so far in the journey having massive winrates at +/-500 I really felt like 1k was the ceiling. But now that I'm back studying and improving a lot the confidence and motivation is growing back and I'm working again towards closing that gap. Long story short, it was a good learning experience.

But yeah same as for rush and cash goes for nl1000 6max on GG (I will still play 500fr) that if anyone see me play 1k post screen here and I will send $500 (unless my acc gets hacked or something haha). I will not make exceptions like making a post how it doesn't apply anymore This bounty will apply untill 01/01/2025. Because starting from 2025 I will play nl1k regularly and allow myself to lose 30+ buy ins or whatever without moving down constantly. I will give myself time the following 3.5 months to improve a bit more and also grow the bankroll and be better prepared.

I know when I make a post like this I will not play it anyway, because even though probably no one gives a **** it feels like I'm being watched when I waitlist a table with a superfish on it. So to compensate if the bounty is not collected by the end of the year I will give away 2 coaching sessions to random picked followers. I know I'm a complete donk with probably nothing to teach to 90% of readers but I have to compensate somehow

This will be the last post I make for a while, I will try to do a year wrap up end of the year. glgl

Lets hope I catch you at 1K or nobody else does for some free coaching ��������������������������������������������

The good news is I managed to break some bad habits (or stuck to some good ones):

I don't feel so bad about it as I felt in previous downswings, there is acceptance
There is no real tilt or desperation to unstuck
I'm respecting variance and also that it's delusional to expect/want to always win
The over confidence got punished, I was kinda going over the top with some stuff
I just click tables away when I start to make super-errors
There is acceptance of poor performance, rather than hating myself for making mistakes/playing poorly
Despite the bad run and downswing I'm still seeing the bigger picture (year ev) pretty clearly

The bad news is picked up some bad habits again:

Confidence is suffering; Changed my strat some time ago, afterwards I started completely ****ing people up (also giving some decent regs who play hs a good fight in some spots) but now the self-doubt is kicking in.... Was it just rungood and I was just fooling myself???
I'm making it way too personal once again passionately hating my opponents and complaining a lot rather than just exploiting them not being a crybaby about it (what I try to do normally atleast)
I'm playing way too agro and undisciplined during this run, snapdeciding way too many decicions and not thinking enough
Big tunnelvission about certain part of the ranges in some spots, rather than just sticking to my strategy
Engaging too much in not existant leveling wars (so leveling war me vs myself )
Ignoring signs that leader board chasing and multi-tabling is not for me
Not accepting engaging in regwars with 20bb rake is not a good idea especially with low confidence
Continue to keep playing when I'm clearly playing very poorly
Stopped tagging hands and study them afterwards


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Time to go back to basics. I was running well the whole month and at some point I changed my routine rather than going for 3 shorter sessions in 1 day I went for 1 long session in the morning/begin afternoon. Also I started to respect the leaderboard (rather than ignoring in) and when I was running well the money was really coming in smoothly. But once again this really backfired because when the doomswitch got turned on in terms of run I couldn't keep up with 10tabling for 8h straight and at the end of the sessions I start to play really really poorly and the losses were stacking up.

Now without being delusionally positive I still see this whole experience as a W, simply because I'm handling it well. Part of handling it well is also the acceptance of me playing poorly and not create this snowball effect; play bad > creates more tilt.

From now I will go back to shorter sessions with lower table amount, and ignoring the leaderboards again. Also do some mental game work before playing and trying to respect my opponents more, and avoid this frustrated clicking. In terms of play go less OOL, stick more to my strat and be more carefull with regwars. And in general be aware of the bad habits and try to work on them.

glgl

Edit: I still think 1 long session in the morning is way better for life quality and time management, because after that sess I can really zone out from poker for the rest of the day. I hope to find a way to make it practical in terms of focus and performance. Because even though my focus is improving every month and it's not as big as an issue as it was previous years it's still pretty poor and my autopilot is also still really poor and spewy (mainly preflop)

But never too low to put some fellow Dutch donkeys in the blender

To: gg poker
Subject: invite only vip games
cc: danielnegreanu1234@gmail.com

Dear host,

First of all let me take the time to compliment you on the brilliant chess move to make high stakes tables private from now on. Yes, I initially publicly disagreed with it but I clearly just wrote that in the hope to find validation by the other regs (what a bunch of *******s these regs are).

But anyway, wouldn't it be great if we let like one midstakes donk in the games. That happens to have a blog on 2p2. So that we are still pushing the narrative that the road to high stakes is open and the dream is alive? That would be great pr for you, the game and the company. I'm just bringing up ideas of course, don't mind me. But what if that person will actually be me?

I mean, yes I have nothing to offer with my boring personality, and yes it's unfortunately correct I'm indeed playing with a 17.3 vpip this year (I'm always using decimals when mentioning vpip unless it's above 5 decimals, than I just round up above). But please think about what I'm mentioning above. And create a true microstakes to highstakes poker success story. I tried to do this by myself by playing buttonclicker nl5k headsup but something in me tells me this would be a better idea. Btw I'm clearly doing this for the love of the game, more or less sacrifice myself. And obviously not for personal gain whatsoever, I would never do that. I wanted to type some more to convince you but this email is already taking longer than 6minutes to write; and I have to go now because I have to finish my 20hour leaderboard shift.

Would love to hear from you,

Kidcudi147

ps. If the rake is higher than 10bb pls feel free to ignore this email


-----

All jokes aside it's pretty ****ed up news. Normally I'm not super negative about gg because I genuinely understand a bunch of their decisions (despite some of them tilting me) and also I had the feeling they were growing towards the community. Also they are the ones that kept the dream alive in the first place. I wrote in the thread about the topic how I'm sometimes just watching the vip game lobby knowing the shot is getting closer and closer and how much fire this gives me to keep pushing. So with this in mind if they want to change certain stuff and make it a bit less predatory or more recreational friendly (can't think of a solution right now tho. Also because I don't see the problem, I'm just saying I can understand they have that opinion) they have the right to do so. But this seems like a pretty terrible solution for all parties involved (the regs, the site and the recs). And ofcourse this is very demotivating and a big blow for online poker.

I'm still pretty optimistic for whatever reason. We need to see how it will play out and how it will be in practice this Friday, but I feel like at some point they will also see that this is not the solution and re-open public vip games again. Or maybe other sites will fill in the gap.

Obviously I would have rather have everything staying the same, but playing some 2k next year will be exciting at-least. Let's hope it doesn't become the ceiling....

gz mate you're #7 FR 500 all time list

I'm very very tempted to jump in lads (will wait for a good spot probably if I decide to go), and fire 2 bullets.... I deserve to give myself a shot after doing so well this year (especially last few months, good quality volume) but at the same time it makes 0 sense to write paragraphs + offer a bounty in here to not play 1k - which I kinda regret because I play against same opponents whole day 500fr which is effectively nl1200 or whatever - and than proceed to playing 2k Not sure what to do