Hey everyone,

Im a 27yr old long term poker & life noob who has had enough of that, if you want to know more about me i have a few old threads on here. I spent all winter on the beach doing nothing and got home and just kind of got grinding, studying and felt that its time to really put in time and effort and see where it takes me. I have been studying more than ever, doing db review, got some coaching etc etc. Still there are as always tons of things that i need to stop/improve/add/remove. I hope that this thread can be a place where i hold myself accountable, and will use it for keeping up with my goals and making sure im staying on track. Ive been journaling for a while now but i think since openly being honest to a bunch of people is terrifying it seems like a good idea to do it. Maybe the motivation to this thread is gone overnight and thats that, we will see

I dont like to look at my graphs daily and dont know how often ill post graphs but i know threads need graphs so here are my last 2 months (+ guesstimating 8-9k rb, bloated number due to binking acr promotion for 5k). I grind off peak, can you spot the 1 peak sunday session? lol




- Too many mtts played
- Too few days off

I struggle with taking time off, why this is can be discussed but i think whatever answer i come up with is an excuse anyways. I dont really play that many tables so its alot of hours in that graph. I need a minimum of 1, ideally 2 days off a week. One issue im having is taking a day off and then studying all day which is kind of counter productive as i never really disconnect from poker and truly just relax. On one hand days off are the best to study as i grind first thing in the morning and after 9-12h sitting down to learn can be challenging. I think the solution to this is partly shorter sessions but also just staying consistent and making use of the days off (in moderation).

Ive really let myself slip diet and health wise, I spent 6 months in thailand and it opened my eyes up to travel which is something id like to do more. But i want to be financially, physically and mentally in a position to do so and be able to enjoy it so my goals will be mostly around day to day stuff in life (diet, reading etc) and poker (study, time off, session lengths etc). I have alot of bad habits to break and good ones to create.

Ill leave you with this banger of a song (havent cried in a hot minute but this one got to me).

Played way too long , and abi was higher than it has been. Went well, but these session lengths are no more. Will make some weekly goals later, for now goal is good night sleep and play a 40ish game session tomorrow and study a bit, will be a bit more clear on what to do tomorrow, so ***** tired so im out.

In case anyone is in a bad mood, this one always lifts me up a bit

sick volume for a single day, how many tables u play at the same time?

Probably avg 8/9. Its more the hours that are out of control than the table count, i find 12+ tabling and trying to actually implement new stuff, not autopilot etc is impossible for me. But i play too long sessions, it drains me, makes me less likely to study at all or effectively and i play more b-game which i feel bad about.

EDIT: also i maxlate alot of lower end bis which help the number.

Whats up felllas,

I guess w/o results this blog gets boring so i will post it this way and maybe graphs monthly.



Did what i said i would. Had a 2nd in a 108 bh for 900ish, 7th 55 battle and a few ft bubbles. Ran pretty meh in general, one thing i was reminded of by my overly long sessions and as a result of that less energy for studying, playing worse etc i need to be aware that when success starts coming its because of the good habits i have been implementing so i need to be extra aware and doing more than ever to basically set them in stone because its alot easier to build good habits when results wise poker just rolls along, but its also easy to start slipping. Today i set a hard cap of 9 tables and never went over it, and i will continue this in order to raise my lowest ceiling of game quality (if i 15 table, which i never do but for example, maybe at worst i play at 3/10). If i 9 table im sure at worst i would atleast be at a 4/10 in that case. Also when trying to learn and think through alot of even "basic" spots even 9 tables is stressfull sometimes. I will keep this rule of never going above 9 tables, and if i do i will donate $50 to ukrainian cause. I have already a goal of donating $2k and have 840 or something left, hopefully poker keeps going well and my i can donate even more later.

Being consistent is key
We often overestimate what we can do in a day or a week, and wildly underestimate what we can do over 1,2,5 or even 10 years. Small constant progress (which by the way doesnt mean no set backs, just that once we **** something up we get back on track). Ive read the book atomic habits about 3 times and i will probably read it again soon because i need some of those reminders. Great book for anyone. Another good one (which the first sentence is from) is the compound effect, linked video below

On that note i decided to make sure to get back to shorter, more focused sessions on good sleep and sat down to study as well. Ended up doing 2h of pretty damn focused study and the funny part is i completed a whole 2 tagged hands. However i have been doing db reviews and (trying) to fix alot of leaks by doing drills preflop and postflop so i think its good to let yourself go deep too, it was 2 hands but i made a long notepad about it and really it wasnt 2 hands because i looked at maybe 20 turns, different raise sizes, which turns we lead on and what differs between different leads. Made some realizations about equity shifting w/o our range actually hitting the turn and stuff like that so i feel like i got alot out of it to be honest and also its fked that my brain starts going "only 2 hands in 2h huh, ur doing nothing" when yeah technically i took 2 hands from pt4, but i studied a bunch of things and took away some lessons from it. The self-judging is a problem and something im trying to work on, today i realized that i was basically complaining that i had studied for 1hr when i was talking to someone. Like come on dude, just get the habit to stick and dont worry about nothing.

Also realized ive gotten plenty of advice from plenty of people who have no obligation to help me in anyway whatsoever and thats just makes me happy that there are people like this, and grateful obviously. If anyone reading this feel like they have any questions that i could help you with pm me and i will always answer, cant guarantee its good advice but i really dont mind helping out people who are where i have been and feel like they need advice. Also looking to do some (free) coaching, have done some in the past but not tons and i think its a good part of the learning process so if anyone wants a free session or two hit me up. Also if someone who is really serious about getting better wants to review together get in touch!

Tomorrow:

- Try to start at 6, but sleep more if needed. Sleep is important.
- Max 9 tables at any point
- Max 45 mtts
- Study atleast 30 min, fully focused on it.
- Eat clean (Dont need to specify, but basically low carbs and no trash food) and if i want to buy something, walk to the store. No ordering groceries. Im not a vampire, getting some sun wont hurt. If thats what vampires are hurt by, who the fk knows.

If i fail any goal i will donate $50 to ukraine. By the way, i logged on to gg to a message that my avatar was too offensive and had been removed. Are you offended by this? What a ****ed world this is.

Tomorrow:

- Try to start at 6, but sleep more if needed. Sleep is important. Okay
- Max 9 tables at any point fail, $50
- Max 45 mtts fail, 50$
- Study atleast 30 min, fully focused on it. donezo
- Eat clean (Dont need to specify, but basically low carbs and no trash food) and if i want to buy something, walk to the store. No ordering groceries. Im not a vampire, getting some sun wont hurt. If thats what vampires are hurt by, who the fk knows. Done

$100 donated via my friends stream that has a fundraiser.



Saturday had a cleaan day, lost 3/3 pko hus and then got 3 handed in the 109 cooldown (offpeak), shortstack suddenly sitsout and me and 2nd guy (he had cl) agree to waste some time to let him come back, and its a really good spot for him to just print ev since im clear 2nd and he wasted his entire timebank. Shoutout to him for being one of the good guys. Love to see it. Aso i almost feel bad but not really that i broke the streak and won a pko hu:




Sat:




Then dropped 2.5kish (but sold some) mostly due to playing more peak than normal and also a few more 215s. Played way too much again so i think the only fix for now is obligatory day off tomorrow, set up rules and start playing atlot less. Study a bit more and get out more. month is at like 1400 games which is a high number but its not good, it is not aligned with my goals and it stops now.. Exact rules i will decide tomorrow.Results have been amaxing, will focus on not letting bad habits sneak in again and double down on the good ones. Saturday with clear structure i play a reasonable session, sunday where i start far too eary and dont have a clear list i def go overboard. So will force away that and spend more time on improving and working on mental and physicchal help. What i do tomorrow should align with where i want to be 5 years from now. Lets be productive ey


Much love
Blommish

How you play 9 tables max and put 2.5k games in 2 months. Just not possible

There is a threashold for the ammount of carbs that puts you in the optimal spot for having enough energy and max focus without your mind getting distracted or tilting easily . It also has to do with the ammount of insulin your body produces and how it regulates your glucose . Also there is the glycemic index + load of every meal that also plays its part. If you find the sweet spot according your individual needs you will obtain maximum efficiency overall.

Lol. As i said its ALOT of hours. And its not like i never played more than 9, during this sample i think i max played 12 sometimes, mostly 9-10 and now i have hard cap on 9. If you do nothing else than play poker youd be suprised how many games you can play Its very counter productive though. Going to go for 800 games in sept. Avg entrants are like 110 too, so i guess compared to peak an mtt doesnt take as long on avg helps. But yeah, its possible i can assure u lol



Ive done pretty strict keto in the past (<25g carbs per day) and found that worked very well for me in terms of overall health, weight loss and stuff so i am going to buy a food scale and start doing that again, soon its swedish winter when its just dark and cold 24/7 so should be easier to get it to stick than when its summer, ppl wanna go drinking etc. Also i really have no clue what you really are saying because i dont understand that subject enough

EDIT: Just saw i how my spelling was in that first post. Usually post right before bed so apologies for "mental and physiccal help", obv meant physical (does it even spell that way) and HEALTH.

Today:

- No grind
- Study tagged hands throughout the day, if i feel focus slipping take a break. Value high quality studying (No time or x amount of hand goals, but have to write down and summarize what i look at)
- Eat clean (home cooked low carb)
- Read atleast 5 pages

Same thing w $50 per goal, although the 2nd one ive already started and done like 40 min + would be hard to say yes/no as i cant expect my studying to go from easily distracted to perfection overnight, the other 3 are pretty clear yes/no though.

Still no takers on free coaching, its still up for grabs for 1-2 sessions for anyone who wants it.

subbed

Also got a follow up on my db review today and honestly given the short time period (45 days or something) and how much i played, i am happy to see that i for sure have made small progress in multiple areas and cut out some bad stuff completely. Now there is (in case you didnt know!) a lot to work on in poker and i feel like i have clear direction on what i need to be focusing on. Today after studying for just under 2h and actually have it be at the very least somewhat productive i found myselfbeing overly self critical, but caught myself in the act and refuse to be so harsh for making actual progress. Silly.

Today:

- Possibly grind, undecided. If grind short one with 9 table cap but i am thinking about averaging a lower number as i have deep runs. Max 9 is the rule tho
- Go through the new stuff i have to look at, start looking up some things i have to do. Pretty low energy start to the day hence the undecided on grinding, so just getting started here is the minimum goal.
- Eat clean
- Read min 6 pages

50$/fail as usual.

Peace & love
Blommish

Hi broski! I am a not so active poster (which is something i will make an effort to change, its so easy to encourage someone with so little effort!) But have been following your thread for a long time too and we have for sure played a bit

Tomorrow:

- Wake up 7ish, grind short session with max cap of 9 but will try to keep it lower, maybe 9 with only early game and around 6 when i get deeper in things. Need to prioritize reg speed 44-215 heavily and know which site/mtts have priority (or have a decent idea anyways, still idiot reg speed racers over waiting 4 minutes sometimes, but work in progress).
- Keep going through what i have to go through study wise. No real goal other than get further along than where i left things today. I have it pretty black and white what i need to look at so i will just do what i have energy/will to focus for.
- Eat clean
- Read min 7 pages

So failures to pay for would be breaking table cap, not doing any study, not eating clean or not reading 7 pages.

Also got one pm for potential free coaching which made me happy so hope that happens, and also asked around a little for someone who could be interested. Offer still stands, 0 strings attached. Gotten alot of help by alot of people, many who have gone way beyond what i paid for/asked for and i want to pay it forward. Holla at ya boi!

Gn

Sub’d glgl. I’d be very interested in coaching. New 2p2 account for me on here I don’t post much on so can’t pm yet. am part time ish mtt’er on the US sites and would love to do something with you

Hey bud, obv u know I’m keeping up on reading this and cheering you on as always but figured I should make it official. ❤️

Hey man, just add me on discord @Blom96 and we will set something up!

<3 You have been encouraging me as long as i can remember. Appreciate u bro

Ran sick today, feel like i played good too. Have connected with a few people from here and done 1 session so far, one more today and then one on tuesday for now. I went in playing in a real positive mood today after a positive conversation and i really had fun with it. Did some real out there things and was totally fine with looking real dumb at times. I will probably post a bit less frequently because i dont want it to feel like an obligation. Gotta sleep now, just gotta wrap up 162 rim, 4/5 w 3 paid. Be good peeps!

Also shoutout to girafganger, what a guy. Go watch him if ur feeling down!
And to Cashcid Linc for really teaching me some valuable lessons about myself.
And to like a g6 for the best value anyone can get to improve
And Kzzon for being the mvp
And perrymejsen for being a good guy
And me for just doubling up in the rim
And xtrascratch^^^ for being a amazing dude
And all the other good people i cant remember now
And to razorfazor formaking an effort and reaching out and showing appreciation that i waited for him when he disconnected hu. Small things can make someones day, ill try to keep that in mind more.

Not really gonna do any more coaching because i want to actually be helpful to the ones that reached out. If someone wants to pay an hourly to charity for ukraine im open to it. Pm me if so.

Blommish

Pretty funny that i posted cred to the guy who waited 3-handed and as if the universe asks me if i mean what i "preach" my opponent disconnects insta in my biggest bi, pko hu, is gone long enough where i could have won it/almost won it for free (but not really free, it goes against what i believe and i strongly think that doing those things are extremely damaging).. But i waited as much as i could each hand and wasted half of timebank (dont think i can be more fair, imagine he jams 2x pot river and i have half a second to decide. Not that it matters ill probably call anyways)

I got really tilted he didnt say thank u in chat (and quit my session lol, obviously it just triggered an emotional response that was a bit unreasonable), was thinking **** like **** do i even try to be good for. Well, after a while i realized that if i dont act according to my beliefs, and treat others how i want to be treated, how can i ever be satisfied with who i am?

Then he found me on discord and said how he had to sit on his phone watching and appreciated me waiting. That was worth more than money, money is such ****ing overrated bs (if you are privleged to have what you need)

Also can ppl please stop using "others wouldnt wait" as an argument? To me thats borderline insane/******ed. If you do the same **** why the **** would anyone wait? Atleast admit its an excuse to care more about money than the moral aspect, which is totally fine. Its on the person disconnecting, you dont owe them anything. Doesnt mean you dont have to do anything. That excuse is fukking annoying. Others murder people too, u ok to do that aswell then? Maybe im the stupid one..

I realize in order to work at my self esteem i need to do things that align with what i truly believe in, and i feel like ive maybe for the first time in the life have made some progress, and im not perfect but to expect that would just be ******ed. I will try to improve myself, my process and how i handle my feelings step by step. I believe 100% in creating good habits and focusing only on that, the end result will automatially be good if you do whatever work you have to do.

I will also stop apologizing for being me. How can i expect to raise my self-esteem if i constantly say sorry/feel bad for being who i am. Not my quote but something like "There are 2 options in life, make progress or make excuses" and i am all out of excuses. Lets get it

And t8ofdiamonds for being a good, helpful guy.
And fatsushi, also one of the good ones.

Played pretty peakey sunday today. I need to stop making any ****ing excuses for that. Got lucky to ship this one, came in as 3x cl and it was just already over, i wasnt missing ****. Had a bunch of deepruns in bigger stuff too and scrambled together a bunch of cashes. Not sure of results, ss wont have updated.

For now, lets get back to that 3am offpeak sched and take it from there.

Also to the guy that got 5th: If you think calling someone an idiot is a productive way to try and tell them something, just throwing out insults. Seek help.

I’m one of the lucky people that took OHchariot up on his free coaching offer and I’m really glad I did. As someone who has been around poker and made a living in mtt’s off and on for the last 15ish years I can say this guy knows his stuff!

He’s already gone above and beyond what I expected. If you play, watch, and study as much high level mtt poker as me you know when someone knows what they are talking about and OHchariot really knows mtts and how to teach!

Not much else to say and I never post anywhere but had to find my login again to give OHChariot a ton of credit the dude can coach his ass off. He was super well prepared for our session too even on 3 hours sleep lol the kids the truth.

GL OHchariot and thanks again for all your help buddy

Well this is how you start a day off in a bad mood and insta-switch. Pleasure is all mine, appreciate the kind words buddy.

subbed with email notifications ♥

I mean, i dont even know where to start. Today i was a little grumpy when i woke up (resetting my rhythm so to be expected, slept poorly etc). Read the positive comment above and was in a super good mood, then someone did something which completely ruined it an then my mother (only only one in my fked family i speak to) tells me her reasoning for not giving a **** about my stress when mentioned is that she isnt doing well herself. The other day i made a real effort to show her love and support when she felt down, and so i flat out told her what the **** kind of excuse is that? I didnt feel great and i thought about throwing away the phone but no, i care and i make an effort to show empathy and to make you feel re assured that you are not alone. But i treat others the way the way i want to be treated (i try to) and honestly im just going to stop doing that as soon as they show me that they wont treat me the way i treat them. Its just hard to feel anything but hopelessness when u at 27 have to explain to your parent why emotional support is important, something u should have taught me when i was a child. But nah, people treat kids like toys, passall their trauma down to the people they "love the most" and thats that, heres all my **** that i havent fixed, u can try it too, gl out there!. Cool. I refuse to be that

I think its probably not good to allow yourself to be treated worse than the same by someone close to you. Because it ***** makes me have to sit down, smoke a joint and reflect and remind myself of why im even ***** trying sometimes. Ive forgiven her for alot of things, many times, and sheh as re assured me she understands, will change etc but it just doesnt happen. And this is just one out of 445949490 examples of things that make me just want to give up on trying. I read and see so many **** things (ive deleted every ***** app and still u cant avoid it) every day and i just lose hope, but im just going to double and triple down on what i believe, but it does kind of suck to feel like you are the ****ed up one when the thoughts you are having are perfectly healthy or atleast not toxic, selfish, ego-centric whatever.

Like the guy who called me a moron for bluffing him off a dry side pot so that the shortie could stay alive and i could keep opening everything, but even if he is completely perfect and knows everything and is right (which i think he thinks), he is still the moron in this situation. I just sit and think. Does this guy even consider his behaviour? Does he even reflect on how ******ed it is to start insulting someone because they dont do what you want them to? Like surely he has done it many times, it has almost never worked, and he hasnt even stopped to think about it? Its like having 2 keys, trying one key 500 times and door wont open, and u dont even consider the 2nd key, or that there possibly even is anotherway to get in through that door. Its so ****ing frustrating to me, u think u the only one who is/was miserable ever? I promise, its possible to be it without being a POS. Trust me, ive done it! And as for that guy, best of luck fella. Im sure u will do real good, and also i am happy that i didnt write what i thought about him, first thought is ur having 17% vpip and calling someone a moron u ****ing idiot? But thats my feelings responding, so i take a breather. Im not perfect tho so he did get a "byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" as i busted his ass out in 5th.

I dont know man. Just frustrated and feel out of place alot. Do i think its pleasurable to share these thoughts and click post just to have anxiety that im the ******ed one and ppl will wonder wtf is this guy on? No, so i will. All progress is made outside of the comfort zone and **** me if this aint outside of it. And i will just keep cutting out the bad stuff, implement more and more good and wherever that goes i need to be at peace with.

As for poker no real interesting things to share, a bunch of runs and a bunch of not so hot running on fts today, whatever, on to tomorrow. Will post a monthly re-cap and then reconsider this thread and if it is worth it because it sure does give alot of anxiety and overthinking which i have plenty of as it is. It seems like i should continue but if i cant explain to myself why its worth it other than its difficult idk. There is plenty of difficult **** u can do. Have had 2 sessions with people who reached out and one more booked as the last one doesnt seem to be interested, and just to have been able to help someone for nothing and see/hear their gratitude and also how differently they view what we talk about/what i know about what im talking about compared to what the little fker upstairs (my brain) tries to tell me. For example he mentioned i was well prepared, had a solid 2h anxiety for not preparing enough and showing up short on sleep (although i did say it in advance that i might be a little low energy, well do another one when im back on my rhythm). Anyways, too tired, too tilted (although less now then when i started writing this... so maybe thats a reason to keep doing it. But why add the public part to it? Really only thing i can think of is doing difficult things that we dont want to is good, but thats about as good an argument as "others would do it so i will too".