I woke up in the middle of the night after getting ****faced Sunday and spewing off a 3x starting stack in the B109 in what can only be described as a laughable ball of flaming **** poker - an aside, that stack is worth more than my current bankroll; another aside, my bankroll doubles as my food and cigarette fund. As I lay in bed running through my mistakes a million times and passively accepting a splitting headache and weakness from the activities of the day before, a strange new thought forced itself above all others: not today.

I got dressed, went outside, chiefed a cigarette, and ran as long as I could. 3 minutes give or take. I caught my breath hunched over and clutching my knees and then ran back after another short stop.

With the introduction of our hero complete, we can turn to the pressing question of what this is, and the answer to this question is simple: a catalogue of my poker life.

Modafinil and tea. Gutter stakes mtt/180 man session fired. I would wish myself luck, but I'm not sure I'd know what to do with it.

Binked a reg speed capped tourney. Playing the normal structure tourneys at the poverty stakes makes me wonder why I am inexorably pulled in by the turbos only for them to grind me. Also, volume [x].

let's grind our little hearts out today. Listening:

f2t $4k+ up top:

Poker Stars $1.00+$0.10 No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t225000/t450000 Blinds + t45000 - 9 players

CO: t4787756 M = 4.43
BTN: t14717879 M = 13.63
Hero (SB): t4015584 M = 3.72
BB: t12671042 M = 11.73
UTG: t17548706 M = 16.25
UTG+1: t3415454 M = 3.16
UTG+2: t3213600 M = 2.98
MP1: t8660314 M = 8.02
MP2: t16552600 M = 15.33

Pre Flop: (t1080000) Hero is SB with A A
UTG raises to t936000, 3 folds, MP2 calls t936000, 2 folds, Hero raises to t3970584 all in, BB calls t3520584, 1 fold, MP2 calls t3034584

Flop: (t13252752) 3 T Q (3 players - 1 is all in)
BB bets t8655458 all in, MP2 calls t8655458

Turn: (t30563668) A (3 players - 2 are all in)

River: (t30563668) 2 (3 players - 2 are all in)

Final Pot: t30563668

shipped a $2.50 180 early in the session, played like garbage the rest of the day, binked a hu tko at the end for a strong finish:



Really happy that the day wasn't a wash given the weight of yesterday's abattoir of a knock out hand.

I am thinking of buying a ticket to malta mid-month. If anyone has recommendations on places to stay and things I should know, lemme know.

Finished around 70th in the Hot $44 after this:

Poker Stars $40+$4 No Limit Hold'em Tournament - t2000/t4000 Blinds + t500 - 9 players

CO: t55905 M = 5.32
BTN: t23255 M = 2.21
Hero (SB): t52267 M = 4.98
BB: t82745 M = 7.88
UTG: t33670 M = 3.21
UTG+1: t33316 M = 3.17
UTG+2: t36682 M = 3.49
MP1: t27650 M = 2.63
MP2: t25155 M = 2.40

Pre Flop: (t10500) Hero is SB with A 7
7 folds, Hero raises to t51767 all in, BB calls t47767

Flop: (t108034) J 9 4 (2 players - 1 is all in)

Turn: (t108034) A (2 players - 1 is all in)

River: (t108034) 4 (2 players - 1 is all in)

Final Pot: t108034
Hero shows A 7 (two pair, Aces and Fours)
BB shows A Q (two pair, Aces and Fours - Queen kicker)
BB wins t108034

BB is a fish playing VPIP 27% / PFR 4% / 3Bet 3% / VPIP from BB 17%. Open shoving is ****ing awful and lazy. I think I did it because of a combination of the monetary significance of the tournament to me and my hand's ****ty playability postflop. If there ever was a case where taking the easy route and telling yourself that a GTO play is acceptable when an exploitative line is obviously there for the taking, this would be it.

Saved another day with a bink in a hu knockout. Felt great going into today, played pretty well, lost some flips. Napping for a few hours and then it's funday time.

gl today heroes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKkRsNAPa0s

I flew to Budapest at the beginning of the month and can't be happier in a new city. I was born in Eastern Europe, and even though I've lived a larger part of my life in the West, there's something about this part of the world that makes me feel at home.

Volume has been mediocre, but with moving I'm slightly ok with it. Doesn't hurt that I've run hot and played some of my best game ever.



This is the first year I will be playing SCOOP. I'll play all lows and try to satty into all NLHE mids / buy in the good value ones. I have this feeling that when these 2 weeks are up, I will be much further on the road of what I want to achieve.

Even running hot, my mental game is so weak. I am going to change that. Across 2 tables, the cards you're dealt, the runouts, even the opponents for the most part - they are all independent of one another. The only dependent variable is the player. This is so simple, but I need to know this, and really know it, to fight off the tunnel vision that inevitably drags all of us down midway through a session that isn't going the way we imagined before we began.

wololololololo

mtd:

been on a ridiculous heater during may without much success in SCOOP events themselves:





post-ante:



pre-ante:



Blessed.

Only decent run SCOOP-wise was 30th-40th in the 3-stack mid after coming into day 2 in the top 5 and bottling it and not adjusting to my tables. The ****ing awful part is that I spent 3 hours getting ready for day 2 and made the idiotic decision to one table it, which led me to try to turn water into wine every hand.

I am going to parlay this luck into becoming decent at poker - I've started incorporating training videos before a session, but that is a 10% effort. The real value I think will be in reaching out to thinking players to work together on hh reviews and potentially coaching. Separately, I am playing on a bootleg 4-year old laptop. I think investing in a new machine, a mouse, and a monitor is prudent. The monitor especially is going to be ****ing amazing after playing on a 15 inch screen with tables stacked like a ****ty solitaire animation.

I have made it a point in the past to burn out in a blaze whenever I start making progress, not just in poker but in most things in my life. Over the past few weeks I've caught myself consciously engaging in a dialectic to remind myself not to take things for granted again and keep pushing up.

Budapest is a great city, and I'll be staying for at least a month more (sidenote: airbnb is ****ing awesome). A lot of the nightlife is outdoors and smoking is accepted still (eastern europe) which is so mint for the summer months. I am fighting my alcoholism a bit more aggressively though - I have some numbness in my pinky and ring finger which I am guessing is a result of nerve damage and/or B12 deficiency from alcohol intake. I think this is as good a moment as any to reign in my drinking - it will be easier when poker is going so well.

Nice heater, good luck continuing it. Any way to enlighten us on what those pretty $10k spikes are in your graph?

thanks - both are SCOOP ME seats (the first is actually a bubble for ~$9k).

gl on the sunday ****ers.

Haven't been playing much at all the past week - going to gear up tomorrow to rinse the TLB months.

Really interesting read about Hola (VPN browser addon): http://8ch.net/hola.html Functionally, the company is monetizing the nodes of users of its 'free' software as an enormous mercenary botnet. Reminds me of the saying that was sometimes thrown at facebook:



These botnets are used to do things like this: http://www.csoonline.com/article/211...on-attack.html It seems fairly plausible to me that Pokerstars' server problems a month ago were a result of an attack on a larger scale to this. It's unreal that the vast majority know so little about the Internet, something they use for large swaths of their day.

http://gfycat.com/CoarseNeatBlobfish

this is whats going to happen these tlb months. **** everything - anything but top 5s in each month and i delete this thread.

random: i feel like a lot of people have such **** taste in electronic music - but its not even their fault because they havent heard better. heres a song that is well produced and catchy enough to be liked by all:



The sad thing is that america raped electronic into a rotting carcass and it hurts seeing something that means something to you get destroyed by those who couldnt care less and are just going to move on to the next thing people tell them to like.

more random tunes - leon vincent is a monster:

I am writing this with the hope that it will help me reach some catharsis about what happened. Yesterday I played a fairly uneventful sunday with a few stacks that fizzed out. I spewed off my 1 or 2 remaining stacks and went to dinner. Between dinner and home a few drinks turned into a full-fledged bender. Although I have barred myself from HS sngs and the casino on PS, in a moment of divine inspiration I realized I could transfer to my linked Full Tilt account. Cue a $2000 transfer, dumped in hu hyper turbos in 15 minutes. Another $5000 to chase the losses. Won a few $1000's in a row, get to just above even. Lose 5 in a row. Dump all $5000 on blackjack. Transfer over and dump another $3000 on BJ. Rinse and repeat $5500 more.

I've crippled my bankroll and today I've felt like I've had a ten thousand ton spectre weighing on my shoulder. Even looking at my MTT graph for the year, which I should be proud of, hurts - a line on a chart can't be invested, it can't be used to buy what one needs, it can't be used to help people. ****.

I am moving my ABI down to around $10, with the hopes that I won't eat a 300 BI downswing. Put in a short session today, played well but bubbled a bunch of good tourneys. I want to go back in time and punch yesterday's me square in the ****ing face until he's knocked out.

punted a large stack in 8 1r1a on sunday at the end of the session out of tilt. if you watch these you should probably do it in reverse order:

Did you enjoy the Nic Jaar?

the one on the previous page or did you send me something?

Prev page

I think that show was pretty high up. this song in particular:

this makes bricking deep with tables full of fish slightly ok:

It's one of my favourite Boiler Rooms. Great track too.