My God, I miss the days of the Hot 33 paying 8K for a 5th place finish!

But seriously, great recap, I've missed the tourney grind write ups, sucks about Ontario market. Be curious to see what it all ends up looking like. And if they eventually end up with similar situations out West or not. Have you considered moving to a different province or does the GF situation make that impossible?

Really enjoyed reading your last post. Can definitely relate to having big binks in the times of most need. Not really a believer in fate/destiny but the scores always seem to come in the nick of time. GL with whatever you plan to do next, whether its poker or not!

Few questions as your timeline recap made me think of some of the ex US grinders who moved outside the US after Black Friday but ultimately gave it up. I might sound harsh in the questions but it's not really meant that way and from reading your PGC over the years it's obvious that you think and ponder many subjects a lot more than most people (myself included...I'm always basically in 'don't have time to do anything but grind or study' mode which I think is a strength in a lot of ways but does have its drawbacks as well)

-Do you think you 'deserved' to have 'fortunate' binks to keep your poker career going at these different points? I bring it up bc so many ex MTT players say 'man if only I would have run good in X, Y or Z position...' or 'man if i only ran like _____ (fill in w/e mtt players sn that this person thinks runs hot)' but don't realize that if they've put themselves in the position to need to bink, they've probably ****ed up very badly multiple times on their path. Your situation and many MTT players situations are probably very different as you were WAY younger than many of them who come moaning and you were in Uni and have some sort of plan to fall back on but I think you from being in the game this long will understand what I'm meaning and what type of players I'm referring to

-Do you think most tournament players, especially many that live in first world countries, play backed (or selling huge %'s of themselves) and play midstakes or lower (a LOT of 'professional' players) would be better working a normal job and having things such as health insurance, a 401k/retirement fund etc. When you take into account the sheer # of hours MTT players play and then the fact they are on a 50/50 deal playing staked or selling 50%+ of their action in Bi's $109+ or $215+ or w/e the #s work out to be, many MTT regs are making minimum wage or worse and not receiving any benefits to go along with it

-Kind of goes with the above; now that you're playing more cash games, do you have any regrets in terms of playing MTTs for a living?

I probably could have some other questions but will stop with just those 3. Will say I enjoy your writeups and ofc gl w everything in the future and hope you keep posting here

haha yeah man im so blessed to have a friend like that in my corner!

Yup, I'll try to dig it up whenever I get around to making the post (hopefully tomorrow). Thanks!

haha yeah those were the glory days! thank you, yeah it's very frustrating but it's something so many others have had to deal with and i think in Canada it was easy to take having online poker for granted. perhaps there will be some silver linings one way or another. I've definitely considered Calgary perhaps as I really like it out there. Everything is on the table but gonna play it by ear and won't rush any decisions!

cheers m8 thanks! i know for me personally there is some correlation as i always seem to activate a higher level within me whenever my back is against the wall. the intensity of it brings me to another level that i struggle to find when in prosperous times. i've gotten much better at dialing my A game last few years but its always tough in this game. regardless, it's quite fortunate and luck has definitely had its role.

hey man appreciate the post and very good questions

-hmm it's such a sick game where it's very easy to glorify somebody with sick results that could just be on a heater. For example in the high roller scene every year there's a guy who just binks a couple tourneys and the community thinks they are a descendent of god. It's highly likely a lot of those guys are extremely good at poker and worked extremely hard, but its also very likely many of them ran hot in huge spots in their career that allowed them to get to the top. I'm sure for every Fedor Holz there is several guys out there with similar talent and work ethic that are stuck in mid stakes/makeup, or maybe just ran bad in their careers and they've since moved on from poker. In the same breath, there's a lot of guys who use that as a scapegoat to make them feel better about their own lack of success. After all, it's easier to chalk it up to "i ran bad" as opposed to "i actually just suck at poker". At least the former absolves one from guilt.

I'd like to note I fully admit to "****ing up" and putting myself in the spot I needed to bink. I rushed buying a place which ate up too much of my liquidity and didn't manage bankroll as well as I could have via spending/bad br management/degening etc. I think a lot of guys find themselves in much worse spots being (debt, broke, no assets, nothing outside of poker etc.) but it still sucked and forced my hand. Did I really deserve a 250k bink when my back was against the wall? Of course not. I like to think I've been a good person along the way and always tried my best to do the right thing but at the end of the day the deck of cards has no bias for helping or hurting good or bad people or good or bad poker players. All we really deserve is our $EV/game in poker and it's almost impossible to always exactly realize it. In the short run most massively under realize, some massively over realize. In the super long run the cream usually rises to the top, but there's still a lot of variance in results. To answer your question, I definitely believe that I've been deserving of success in my poker career, but in those dire spots I was of course extremely lucky to massively over realize EV, don't worry I've FT bubbled the PCA main and had a couple robberies too tho . (Sorry for the long winded response)

-100000000000000% I think the vast majority of almost every pro poker player or person that attempts it would be better off pursuing something else (if we're talking in 2022). If this was 2005 then of course I think there was a window that anybody with any reasonable level of intelligence should have been ALL IN. Here in 2022, I think it doesn't make that much sense for most to be putting all their eggs into the basket of tournament poker. This industry has been drying up and the level of work one needs to put in to make a good living EV is quite high, like maybe one has 80k/year EV...but 25% of the time they might have a losing year. It's important to ask what is the EV/level of risk and opportunity cost of our time. Even if we make 6 figures in 2022 that's one year that passes where we could have been working on something else with a higher long term ceiling. There's always exceptions and poker might be a great fit for a very niche type of individual but for the majority it feels like many are just awaiting the "big bink" that may never come. (FWIW my guess is very few mid stakes regs have an EV over 50k/year, and if you have to split that with a backer thats pretty RIP and asking for failure).

I often just think for myself in a parallel world where I just worked some 9-5 job monday to friday I might be much healthier/happier not having the constant acute stress grinding so many hours along the way. It's just a tough question because there is examples of many people in poker who have used their poker winnings and networks to catapult them into very sexy life and career spots. There's obviously countless lesser known examples who fizzle out but the guys who make it out of the rat race serve as walking advertisements that the dream is achievable. Everyone's different and has to weigh these decisions for themselves but thinking objectively and looking at reality is vital.

-Hmmm I definitely have some regrets with MTTs. Since day 1 I was always a little bit more emotional than most regs. I think the swings were a lot harder on my body and mind than some German robot reg. My brain/body is less inclined to be elite in poker than some of the top players. I wish I dealt with tilt/stress/healthy living much earlier and much better. I always found it so hard to be even-keeled which led to some really bad habits to regulate those levels.

-Cash is a very pure grind. It's very easy to realize EV in the medium/long run which is very attractive. In a parallel world where I grinded cash instead of tourneys since day 1 I'd be curious to see where I ended up. I look back on my MTT journey very fondly and almost feel the roller coaster was a net positive for my life experience. Sometimes it takes loss and hardship to learn lessons.

To summarize, my biggest regrets are probably not managing health as well as I could have, not managing bankroll as well as I could have, and not taking on more risk when "spots were good".


PS: I'm so thankful for the game and everything it's brought me or taught me. The freedom just to be my own boss for the last 10 years really can't be overlooked. I traveled wherever I wanted/whenever I wanted. Even just all these times where I was able to just sit down and write about these experiences is a chance many won't ever have. Playing poker it often feels I'm on the outside of society looking in. This has an obvious downside but it also allows us to look at society with a very critical lens. There's so many factors other than money that should be involved with career decisions.

Anyways, thanks for the good questions. You got me sitting here thinking deeply a little past bed time! Hope the grind is going well for you my dude and I will check in on your PGC tomorrow. Sorry about the rant but I'm passionate about these kind of topics and hope I answered your questions.

It definitely has been easier to take it for granted here. I do think Alberta/Sask are the most likely to stay in "grey" area the longest based on their governmental leanings. Funny you mention Calgary, my wife and I have been looking at buying our first home this summer and Calgary and surrounding area has been our main focus, so maybe we'll see you out there. Pretty interesting if we both end up out there a decade plus after both starting in the Casino Niagara/Fallsview scene. But if you do make that move, hit me up and I'll buy you a beer or three at the cash games tables. Best of luck to you with whatever comes next!

Was a great response and not surprised and is why I asked you specifically as just like what you ended up writing in the end...you were sitting there thinking deeply and pondering after bedtime haha . The game we play is for sure sick in many ways (positive and negative). I have a whole slew of regrets but can basically only learn from the past and do better going fwd.

I haven't updated my PGC in a long time, basically since I started streaming in 2022 (which now I've taken a break from) but now have controlled the $500 spin lobby on PP for ~6months and just grinding and studying per the usual!

Will be interesting to see how the canadian situation plays out for you guys. Guessing you can't exactly know what you'll be doing or not doing in the short-medium term until there's more clarity there

yeah I'd probably agree with that. GL if you move out there it's a really nice city and maybe I'll see ya at the tables if I do as well

thanks man. damn i enjoyed your stream/pgc when they were running if you ever get back into it. yeah, I sort of feel like the writing is on the wall for me and it might be time to hang up the proverbial mouse and keyboard. not sure if I can be bothered moving away from home just to grind on stars/GG at this stage on the timeline. I've been feeling I want change for quite some time now and this might be the thing that puts the fire under my ass to go and work on a new grind away from poker. who knows though, I'll probably be starting the big 109 tomorrow

Hey guys

I've been slowly working on my post for "the top 20 things I learned in my 20s" (which I said I would complete for my 30th birthday, we're about 5 months late). However, quite contrary to everything else I've posted on this site, I wanted to take my time to think it through and write it well. Not the usual "have a little weed before bed and spew a bunch of thoughts onto the page before I'm tired enough to sleep." In the meantime, here is one of those posts.

"A nation is born Stoic and dies Epicurean."

Can't remember exactly where I read or heard this phrase a couple years ago but it stuck with me. My interpretation of the quote is that stoic people forego temporary pleasure for long-term gain vs. epicurean who are all about experiencing pleasure and indulging in the moment. Nations are founded upon people who go through insanely hard **** (stoic). Upon achieving success, future generations become spoiled and driven by short-term pleasure seeking behaviour (epicurean). I think when humans fall into the trap of "constant pleasure" their nations simultaneously decline because of a lack of growth. They get complacent and take their environment for granted. A system full of takers gives rise to a collapse. Not pointing fingers at any countries cough cough.

Anyways, I intended in this post to talk about how this quote relates to my poker career these days...not some shitty history lesson with shaky definitions of stoics and epicureans.

When I was younger in my career I would eat, sleep, and breathe poker. I would have to be on my death bed to miss a Sunday grind. I was constantly trying to network and pick the brains of players whom I thought to be successful. From this wild passion I had for this game and a lot of luck along the way, I accomplished everything I could have dreamed of in poker. It scares me to think about but if I can be completely honest with myself...I don't think I ever would have given up on this game. You would have had to pry my cold, dead body away from the poker tables to get me away from this game. It makes me somewhat proud yet scared at the same time to admit how much I used to sacrifice for this game: my body, mind, health, money, education, social life, and most importantly time. God knows where I'd be if I put all of that sacrifice into some other endeavour. Under my definition above, I was a poker stoic through and through.

It's been about 10 years since I first started writing a blog on 2p2 and a lot has changed since then with my life and poker career.

I became an epicurean in both poker and my life. When I started getting the success I dreamed of I stopped doing the things that made me successful in the first place. I've always found it so much easier to give my best effort when my back is against the wall and it's been that way with everything in my life. I only started getting 80s/90s in school after I failed a bunch of classes and they threatened to kick me out of the school. I only had a clean home when there was a new girl or person coming over. I only ate healthy and exercised when I couldn't bear the guy I was seeing in the mirror. I only left a relationship when I had a level of discomfort that I couldn't live with myself. The list could go on for pages.

When you aren't used to having money growing up and in your early 20s when you acquire it, it can be hard to control if you're an impulsive lad like myself. When you're at the poker table and it's do or die (win or don't have food/rent) I've always found it easier to make the right decisions. It's far more painful to make the bad call against a guy who is never bluffing when the money lost would have been used to pay the rent. When things have went really well I've often stumbled into the trap of "not caring" and just punting money on everything from terrible hero calls/bluffs to betting Japanese Ping Pong matches at 4 AM or making stupid impulse purchases. Yeah, I've put in a decent effort at poker/life for the past 2-3 years but its nowhere near what I would put in when I was a poker stoic, and nowhere even close to my best effort. When I got the things I was chasing I started being complacent and stagnating as a poker player and as a person. I became a poker epicurean. Just basking with the fruits of my labour and forgetting everything that made me successful in the first place.

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I've had a lot of time off the last couple years. I went through some stuff that really ****ed me up with a health scare and then some relationship stuff that just made it impossible for me to have a drive to play poker. With a lot of time off to think, I've had some realizations...the old me is back. I'm back guys. I haven't felt this way in years but I have this burning itch to play and think about poker again. I'll put together some goals/a challenges for myself in here that I can work on until the end of the year. I'm really excited and starting to feel alive and like myself again. LFG!

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Small Recap

Just a small recap of where I'm at with things lately:

-Hired a trainer and been feeling super good+building some nice healthy habits.
-Finishing up some renos on my place that are looking really good. Have always been clueless with tools/building etc but learned a lot lately.
-Grinding on some of the Ontario sites and some ACR/GG heaps lately.
-Missing writing in the 2p2 community and happy to be back.

Thanks for reading and best of luck at the tables

-Mike

"The caterpillar is a prisoner to the streets that conceived it. Its only job is to eat or consume everything around it , in order to protect itself from this mad city. While consuming its environment the caterpillar begins to notice ways to survive. One thing it noticed is how much the world shuns him, but praises the butterfly. The butterfly represents the talent, the thoughtfulness, and the beauty within the caterpillar. But having a harsh outlook on life the caterpillar sees the butterfly as weak and figures out a way to pimp it to his own benefits. Already surrounded by this mad city the caterpillar goes to work on the cocoon which institutionalizes him. He can no longer see past his own thoughts. HeÂ’s trapped. When trapped inside these walls certain ideas start to take roots, such as going home, and bringing back new concepts to this mad city. The result? Wings begin to emerge, breaking the cycle of feeling stagnant. Finally free, the butterfly sheds light on situations that the caterpillar never considered, ending the eternal struggle. Although the butterfly and caterpillar are completely different, they are one and the same."

GL OP. Have always been following and reading your posts and hope you will find back the pleasure of playing this fantastic game.

Hey guys,

Now that I'm primarily playing on the Ontario only poker sites I've been starting my sessions later in the day to align my grind hours with the peak schedule. Actually quite nice because I've always been very sharp/focused at night and it allows for life balance during the days.

That being said, it also opens the door for me to get out of line on Saturday nights which I've made the mistake of doing a couple times now. Woke up this morning a little hungover which led to more bad decisions of getting breakfast at McDonalds and wagering a bunch of $ to sweat some afternoon baseball games. I went probably 1 for 9 or something in a particularly bad/tilting run and started my poker session in a ~2k hole. Not the end of the world but it's pretty bad for mindset knowing I did something degenerate that cost me before my session even began, along with going basically 1 and 9 on 52/48% coin flips or w/e. Just writing this to cement it to myself to stop being a degen and focus on my bread and butter, which is most definitely not blind sports betting because I'm bored.

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Aside from the sports bets, today was a blood bath at the poker tables. On the bright side with the smaller variance schedule, getting my ass handed to me on a Sunday is losing 3k$ or something as opposed to the -10k$ days of old. It's a lot less stress and makes things a lot easier on me and my peace of mind. As I was lamenting about my misfortune today I got reminded of somewhat of an epiphany I had a while ago and I wanted to share it here to hopefully get my mind off poker and back to homeostasis. Thanks for reading!

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"Oh, you don't like your dinner? Just imagine how the hungry poor kids in Africa would react to you throwing all that food away!"

"You had a bad day playing poker? You're so lucky to be playing a game you love for a living and so many others would love to take your spot!"

"You're unhappy and depressed? Well you live in such amazing times where you have so many material things, the internet, a warm home, and you're well fed!"

These are often the type of statements that I hear people saying to others when they are complaining or feeling down about something, or what people tell themselves to feel better about their current situation-a comparative statement to others in a worse off position than themselves.

In my opinion, the ironic thing is that this way of thinking supports a very toxic pattern of thinking in deriving perceived happiness through comparing ourselves to others in a lesser state than oneself. What does the inverse of this script look like?

"That reg runs so much better than me. Must be nice to have his luck."

"That guy is so much better looking than me, no wonder he has better luck with women."

"I'd be happy too if I ran better in that 80/20 with 10 left in that huge tourney and had all the money like he does!"

You can probably see what I'm getting at here. Instead of determining our internal state by our relative position to others it's much healthier to be indifferent from them and gather our state from within, and see how it matches up against our own goals and ideals.

"Did I give my best effort today?"

"Did I act in line with my own moral guidelines and be the best person I could be?"

The thing is that if we constantly draw our state from comparing ourselves to others, or "what we don't have" then happiness and internal peace are just a mere carrot on a stick situation that we won't ever achieve. The reason being? Because there is always people that have it worse and better than us and there always will be. There's always gonna be guys who ran better or worse in poker, there's always gonna be freak of nature specimens that are born 6 ft. 5 with Adonis genetics with 8 inch dicks, and no matter how much wealth we acquire we will never be more than a peasant to Jeff Bezos.

If we make statements to ourselves like: "I'll be happy when I can finally buy a house" or "I'll be happy when I have 10k/100k/1m$/10m$ to my name" or "I'll be happy when I sleep with that hot girl" it reinforces this belief that our current state is not enough. This idea that happiness is achieved from acquiring something is the most poisonous because it trains oneself to only be happy upon acquisition of something. Even when one does acquire that new car or w/e they desired, the satisfaction will only be temporary if they haven't learned to be happy with the here and now, and what they currently have.

I'm not saying to not strive for goals, or to be ok with being a POS couch potato...just focus on being happy in your own skin in your current position. Keep working on your goals and fall in love with your life and the process. The journey will be much more fulfilling in the end.

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Thanks for reading and good luck out there

Hey man, any updates? Always enjoyed reading your thoughts and updates.

Hey guys, it's been a minute!

Since I turned 30 in February of 2022, I've been meaning to get around to writing this post I promised myself I would write: "The Top 20 Things I Learned in my 20s". I've really been putting this off and a couple times tried to scribble down a few words but just felt too cringe/preachy about it and ultimately quit. I've mentioned before that when I turned 20 my friend linked me an article with the exact same title (Top 20 Things Learned in 20s), by a guy who had just turned 30. It was cool to read from the perspective of a guy who just went through the decade I was about to begin. My 20s were a CRAZY journey with so many ups and downs and lessons learned. Mostly as a favour to my future self, I wanted to summarize the major lessons I learned in the previous decade, and maybe some 20 year old kid out there will stumble upon this and learn something.

So why am I finally motivated to write this post? Story time (a very sad one)...

When I was growing up I played the highest level of hockey in Canada until I was about 15 for ~7 seasons. During those years I was in peak physical shape. I didn't keep in touch with 1 single guy that I played hockey with for the next 15 years until randomly I got a call from one guy out of the blue saying he saw me on TV playing poker and he was really curious about the game. We ended up talking for a while and things picked up as if we hadn't missed a beat. We ended up hanging out a bit and eventually he reintroduced me to a few guys I also used to play hockey with growing up. Two of the guys lived out in Calgary and I was going there for a WSOP circuit event so we were reunited and hung out a bunch. I was super insecure about going out there to see them because I was a whole different person than when I was 15, the main reason being I was close to 100 lbs. heavier and really embarrassed about that! Within a few minutes of hanging out we were talking about the good times and having beers together and all my insecurities were gone. You form a weird life long brother hood when you play on the same sports team together, despite us never being that close when we actually played. Anyways, after that trip where I FT bubbled the circuit main event those same buddies were on the rail the whole time supporting me and I couldn't be more thankful to have great people in my corner. I remember the plane ride home thinking "Mike-you need to get in shape...next time you come to Calgary you need to show these guys the best version of yourself." Did I? Well, not really. I lost a little bit of weight but that's about it. So this year (2023) I went back for that same WSOP Circuit in Calgary and stayed at my buddy's place. Just like the previous year, we had an amazing time and I really feel connected with those guys. Upon leaving, I had the same internal conversation with myself that I need to lose weight, and be in shape the next time I visit Calgary and prove to those guys I can do it. Right when I got home I started this intense self-improvement program and I'm looking better now than I did at any time in my 20's. I'm leaning up nicely and feeling really great about the way I've been trending the last few months.

A few weeks ago I got a terrible phone call...one of the guys from Calgary was killed in a freak accident. I wasn't as close with him as the other 2 guys but all I can remember is hanging out with him in Calgary and having some really good nights and great conversations. One of the nicest people I've ever met and I really did mean it that next year when I came back to Calgary he was gonna see the "in shape" version of me. Unfortunately, I will never get to prove to him that I can do it. The window has closed. I'm dedicating this post to him and hope that somebody who reads this will find the inspiration to lose weight, or try that new career, take the opportunity to spend some time with a loved one, or take a shot at living their best life.


By the way, I just want to mention that writing out these lessons does not mean I adhere to them all and live this crystal coated life. I'm still a work in progress and still manage to **** these things up often. However, if I picture my ideal self, I'd be following many of my own self-advices.

So here it is,

The Top 20 Things I Learned in my 20s

1. The Fragility of Life- As demonstrated in my pre-requisite story, in your 20s you really begin to realize how fragile life is. Loss of life becomes very apparent in your 20s because people start to get older. A few friends passed away in the last decade, a few friends lost their parents, and I've lost touch with so many people I never thought I would. On my daily walks I pass by a cemetery and every time I remind myself that each day I walk by it, I'm one day closer to being in there. On days that I feel sad or miserable I ask myself "how many of those people would trade places with me if they could? How many people didn't fulfil their lifelong dreams? How many died with things they wish they said to their loved ones?" Taking on this perspective and reminding myself whenever I'm miserable about getting sucked out on a big bubble in a tournament or feeling sorry for myself that I woke up on the right side of the grass this morning and there's a lot of people that can't say that.

2. "So many of the greatest innovators did their best work when they stopped learning and started thinking". I was going through the biggest downswing of my career and started trying to mimic solvers. I was playing some fake GTO strategy with a half assed and barely studied application of the theory. Auto piloting through every session, I just kept making donation after donation with rationalizations like "I have to bluff this combo" or "I have to call this hand because I'm unblocking that hand" etc. In my mind these plays often felt wrong based on a subconscious instinct that has seen millions of hands, but I ignored that and tried to trust a theory that I was basically guessing at and surely misapplying.

In the midst of that downswing my friend told me the aforementioned quote which really resonated with me and got me thinking on a different train of thought. For the next few sessions I just started playing like an absolute ape and only made moves that I thought were the best. It's obviously essential to do some form of studying and understand theoretical basics in MTTs but I think being able to think through situations on the fly is massively underrated. Making an estimation of the villain's range and other scenarios in game is vital and so much more complex than blindly copying an impractical and impossible to copy model (in tournaments that is). Again, not saying study and theory is not important...just don't ignore your intuition and instincts. Don't be afraid to do some gangster stuff.

This quote transcends outside of poker as well. All of the inventions in man kind have come from a combination of learning and thinking...not just learning.

3. School is kind of bull ****, but not really. Growing up my role models and teachers engrained into me that going to school and getting an education is mandatory and the noble thing to do. Schools are designed with a one size fits all mould and to groom kids for the working world. This is obviously an important part of having a high functioning society but feeling some obligation to spend tens of thousands of dollars on an undesired College or University program can be really unhealthy for a young person that wants to pursue some other passion. For example, in 2011 when I forced myself to a University program I didn't want to be in, I became very depressed. Poker games were so juicy in 2011, if you could imagine if I just gave grinding full time a shot for a couple years to see what happened...Worst case would be that I'd go broke and fail and go to school after.

The education system is fairly archaic in the sense that it's teaching the same things that it was 50 years ago. The world is different now and all of the knowledge that's taught in an undergrad Uni program is easily accessible with a couple google searches. I'm sure most of us can think of several things we spent hours learning that we've never used IRL. What about learning the tax system, how credit cards work, how to give good presentations, how to have optimal mental health, how to make a website, how to have healthy relationships? Sadly, many courses are just about memorizing a bunch of information the night before an exam, regurgitating it onto the page, passing out and forgetting it all after the exam. The system needs a big overhaul and young people shouldn't feel shame about giving themselves a chance to take a shot at something that gives them a chance to escape the proverbial rat race.

4. "The Mainstream Opinion/Belief is Usually Correct, but not Always"-. Life is often such a grey area thing but governments/media/the masses push agendas and opinions that are often heavily biased and uninformed. Sure, normally governments/authority figures/parents/teachers are correct and usually we can take trust/advice from them. However, it's important to realize that group think and blindly agreeing with the agendas of the afforementioned parties, can lead to one living in somebody else's mould. Personal growth and uniqueness can be squashed. I know various societal pressures were placed upon myself through my upbringing that skewed the way I thought of the world and what being a "successful" person meant. Remember back in the 50's when doctors would smoke in front of their patients? EVERYBODY smoked cigarettes and NOBODY thought that lighting a concoction of toxic chemicals together on fire and inhaling them into your lungs was a bad idea? The Canada Food Guide in the 1990s literally suggested that grains should be the primary source of a healthy person's diet and meats should be consumed the least! There's so many examples throughout human history where governments completely misled their people whether it be intentionally or not. There's so many mainstream beliefs instilled upon us or by our cultures...often correct....but not always. Thinking critically and making your own educated decisions by consulting many available resources to oneself is so crucial for getting ahead.

5. It Doesn't Matter Which Trail You Choose, Just How You Blaze it: There was a podcast that Bill Perkins was on where he was talking about how in every industry there is a millionaire. Whether it be some type of tech, career, pizza shop, taxi service etc... In every field there is always somebody making a million dollars. Don't be the guy managing a pizza store- be the guy managing 10 pizza stores. Most of us that have been successful in poker would have been successful at an array of different careers. I chose to go to University far away from home in a French speaking place. There was a realm in which I could have had peak physical health, crushed school, and had the time of my life. I was stuck in a rut and ended up being the most depressed I've ever been as a consequence of my own decisions and feeling an obligation to finish my degree there. Whatever you choose to do just make the most of it and good things or growth will happen.

6. Seeking Comfort Leads to Discomfort, Seeking Discomfort Leads to Comfort: The modern human is bombarded with quick and cheap dopamine options to feel good NOW. Every time I drive home I pass a plethora of fast food restaurants, liquor stores, weed stores etc. Whenever I'm bored I can just pull out my phone and be instantly entertained or get a quick rush seeing that a cute girl is texting me. Pornhub is always a few seconds away if I choose, I have bankroll on various gambling/poker sites where I could choose to just blow a bunch of money to feel a rush, and in case I never feel tempted, there's a commercial or ad every 10 minutes to remind me of how I need a certain product. It's sad that so many of these vices greatly hurt us and if I'm being honest I haven't always been in control of myself when it comes to resisting food temptations or punting away entire days playing mindless video games. One of the biggest personal challenges facing the modern human is being able to delay gratification and resist short term temptations that ultimately lead to a spiral of problems if not held to a moderate level. It's easy to skip the alarm in the morning and skip the workout for another hour of sleep, it's easy to hit the McDonald's drive thru on the drive home instead of cooking a nice healthy meal, it's easy to jerk off to porn instead of working to attract an attractive partner. Making a habit of taking the easy way out leads to a downwards spiral and a general sense of unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life. Making a habit of doing the right thing that is in long with your long term goals leads to a life of satisfaction/success and happiness.

7. Be Very Aware of Who is Clapping When You Succeed: Some of my biggest successes in my 20s went without even a simple "congratulations" from some people whom I thought of as close friends. Meanwhile, I caught wind of it that they would **** talk behind my back about my career choice or how lucky I am to have those achievements. If you aren't familiar with how crabs behave in a bucket with each other- if one tries to climb out the others will grab it and drag it back down with them so it won't escape. It's sad that sometimes the people holding us back the most are the ones closest to us. Toxic people will be envious, spiteful, and jealous of friends when they start to excel and find new paradigms. Be mindful of who is picking you up when you're down and applauding you in your successes, and who is trying to pull you down like a crab in a bucket. Also, try not to be a crab in the bucket with others. Try to practise being happy for everybody's successes- even your enemies. "In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." -Martin Luther King

8. The Law of State Transference: People will often feel how you feel. If you act shy and uncomfortable around them they will often feel the same. I'm not saying to be fake, but remembering somebody's name after only meeting them once a long time ago and approaching them with a smile and handshake can go a very long way. If you're open and honest with people they will very often reciprocate. On the contrary, if you have no self confidence and feel anxious about an interaction they will sense this and feel similar in many cases. People crave authenticity and I've found being honest and congruent with how I feel and think has led to some very deep friendships and made me a more attractive person altogether.

9. Shoot Your Shot: In my early 20s my friends and I would go out to bars and would be so focused on "not standing out" and just fitting in with the crowd. We'd stand in the corner of the bar holding our beers over our chests just judging people. Eventually, one of us might approach a girl after about 8 beers, 4 shots, and a wind of confidence hit. The other guys would judge our friend and subtly laugh/chirp after he got rejected. Thus reinforcing the belief that we should further stay in our shells to not experience pain and rejection. Looking back, know what's the worst part? It's nothing to do with getting rejected. It's knowing that we had so much potential to help each other out and get some really nice girls into our social circle and instead we just squashed each other down and "held the guys who tried down like crabs in the bucket". I see this as the equivalent of making fun or judging a fat guy in the gym and I'm ashamed that me/my friend group acted this way.

Anyways, the second part of this is that with girls you're way better off shooting your shot with them rather than sitting around fantasizing/racking up nerves about it. If you get rejected? Good for you dude. When I was the least attractive I've ever been in my life (perceived myself as a ~3), I scored a date with a sexy French girl that was a ~9 in my books. I couldn't believe it. Sadly, when the date arrived it became real and I lost all senses of self-confidence that I had to ask her out in the first place. It was the most awkward date I've ever had and I still cringe about it to this day. I still pat myself on the back to this day though because that was the first paradigm shift that I had and I was seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I tried and shot my shot and the girl went on a date with me. Ironically, I felt so inferior to her because of my looks compared to hers and lost all self confidence. She didn't ghost me because of my looks (or else she wouldn't have went on a date in the first place), she ghosted because I had no self-confidence on the date and was putting up an inauthentic front....she sniffed out that I was a fraud and my aura of confidence was faked.

10. Fix Your Inner Game First: One thing about going from a ~8 to a ~4 within a matter of years of self-neglect, no exercise, and eating entire pizzas 2 nights a week is that I learned what it was like to have everything and then lose it. I learned that my self-esteem in the past was built on a weak foundation that was based on body image and being really good at sports. Losing this image led to really losing grip of my life for several years. I felt like a complete POS and had no self worth when I walked through the halls at Uni with my head down in fear that I might run into somebody I knew. Learning to value myself and be confident without having my optimal physique, or bankroll, or car, or house, or 10/10 girlfriend, or playing AAA hockey etc led to a much sturdier foundation for which I built my life upon. If you lost everything today who would you be? If you lost your money, a loved one, your nice car, your poker earnings, who would you be? We must fix our default state within to not require anything for happiness/confidence/being a good person etc. We must build a rock solid foundation for our self and that will transcend into healthier relationships with ourselves and others.

11. The Man in the Rocking Chair: I heard this theory that a guy abides by of "the man in the rocking chair". Every time he has a decision he asks himself "what would the 80 year old version of myself on his death bed say to this decision I'm about to make?" I adopted this question for myself whenever I'm on the fence about something or thinking about taking the easy way out. When I'm older I want to look back on my life and think that I lived exactly on my terms and lived as the man that I wanted to be. If the man in the rocking chair wouldn't make the decision, it's probably the wrong one.

12. Take Time to Experience Life Without Distraction: Several years ago I was deeply depressed but LOVED reading poker blogs. One blog I enjoyed reading was Alex Fitzgerald's (Assassinato). In somewhat of a mental stupor I sent Alex an email asking if he had any advice for somebody in my state. One thing I remember him saying was "Dude! You're 21 years old you're so young! Just start with a daily walk even if it's only for 15 minutes where you can get some exercise and presence." So, the next day I started walking for 15 minutes, and the day after that, and the day after that. 15 minute walks became 1 hour walks. Almost 10 years later and I've carried through the habit to the present day. Even if its -25 degrees out and a snow storm I still get out for a 1 hour walk. These walks provide an avenue to get present with the moment and enjoy the environment I live in. It's so important to get outside and disconnect from computers/phones/screens for an hour to reflect and gain presence.

When's the last time you took the opportunity to do this? Did you even take a **** without browsing your phone? Did you even take a shower without listening to music?

13. Projections of Myself onto Others: When I was about ~25 I was just coming out of what I refer to as "my dark age". I was finally finished school, getting some money to my name, and rebuilding my self esteem. A friend and I went to Cuba to celebrate graduating Uni. There was a group of girls that we were talking to at the eating area and one of their friends was positioned to her side facing away from us. She was sexy! Her friends tried to introduce her to us but she sort of blew us off and didn't even bother turning to face us. In this moment my self-esteem took a huge blow and I couldn't help but think "wow I'm that much of a POS that this hot girl can't even introduce herself to me". Later on that day at the beach I caught a glimpse of the other side of this girl and all of a sudden it hit me why she hadn't turned around to meet me- one half of her face had been badly diseased or maybe an accident or something. She was embarrassed or ashamed and didn't want me to see. So all along I built this story up in my head that this girl was repulsed by me and I took it personally. However, she probably would have loved an authentic conversation with me, she just didn't want to be judged for her appearance. Lesson learned! It's impossible to know how or why everyone thinks a certain way and making assumptions can often be wildly incorrect.

14. If you're not fat yet, don't get ****ing fat. I bought a scale from the store ~2 years ago which happens to be in Kilograms. I'm not similar with KGs but I know a simple calculation of multiplying by 2.2 equals the amount in pounds. So I stepped on the scale and it read 130.7 KGs...now I did the math of 130x2 and I knew that was 260 lbs...and I felt sick thinking that if I finished the calculation I could be North of 300 lbs. When I think of a 300 lb. person I do not think good things for myself. From being a guy in very good shape 2/3 of my life and being a fat guy 1/3 of my life I can promise the latter is not worth it. Aside from being unsightly, being overweight can throw your whole body/hormones and mind out of whack. Losing weight has been an ongoing battle for the last decade and gave rise to some negative self perception issues etc. It's rare for a day to pass where I don't feel some level of regret/disappointment/shame knowing that I could have been doing SO MUCH better. I'm delighted to say that since that initial weigh-in I'm down ~50 lbs. and really starting to be happy with the way I'm leaning up. I know my buddy would be proud.

15. Family Pets are a Microcosmic Symbol of the Circle of Life: When I was away at school for a few years it was a long time since I'd been at my parents house to see their cat. I came home and saw this scraggly/withered furry thing and thought WTF?! This is the little kitten I remember now on it's last legs? It's always tragic losing a family pet as a kid but you come to realize that this is just the sad reality of life. I went home to visit my parents for Christmas this year and saw one neighbour I have not seen for ~15 years. In my mind I remember her as being like a middle aged lady that was pretty fit. Now, she is a frail grandma with grey hair etc. People always talk about how time flies but it really does! It's been 10 years since I started posting on this dinosaur forum! It literally feels like yesterday I was this young kid combing the forums and looking for some validation from anybody in the poker world lol.

16. We Are Emotional Creatures: Everybody likes to think they're a logical thinker. If I told you there is a drink that is super healthy for you and can prevent illness etc. and a drink that can make you a diabetic and kill you/give you cancer etc which would you pick? Everybody would pick the former. However, these drinks do exist in the world. One is kombucha or water, the other is Coca Cola, the highest selling beverage on the planet. Learning the power of the emotions that drive my own decision making has led me to a better sense of acting based on logic etc. Poker is a wildly emotional game and getting in touch with the logical side of my brain was always a big challenge when emotions and adrenaline were running rampant. I've learned it's super important to take a minute to think about my decisions and to understand why my mind is biased to one direct or another. For example when a guy has 3 bet me 3 opens in a row and I'm sitting there with Q9o cutoff vs. button for 40bbs and contemplating plowing it in I have to catch myself and say "Mike you're on tilt right now. You're feeling attacked because you feel this guy is bullying you. He probably has just had good hands and Q9o is a very bad hand to 4b jam. You aren't opening too wide and know the proper strategic adjustments. Fold and move on." Taking a few seconds to think about "why" I'm feeling a certain way has saved me countless times from reaching out to a toxic ex, snapping on a friend or family member etc.

17. The Promiscuous Lifestyle: When I was single at Uni I was about 15/10 horny and for the first 2 years there had sex with 0 girls. I felt ashamed of it and would fantasize about having sex way too much. I've had a few long term relationships in between that cringey point in my life and today. I will say the last few months since becoming single I've been by far the most promiscuous I've ever been. It's been a lot of fun having sex with different women but if I can be honest, part of my motivating factor was just filling a void that was missing from my long term girlfriend being out of the picture. It's fun trying different things with different girls and gaining new experiences but at the end of the day the deep level of connection and trust you build in a long term relationship is second to none and worth sacrificing this man whore lifestyle for. I'll keep enjoying myself for now, but I think I'm ready to settle down and find a girl I can build a family with. That being said, I highly recommend to a guy in their 20s to date a variety of women. This is so vital to learn about spotting red flags and finding what you want/don't want in an ideal partner. Learning how to be attractive to women and how to manage relationships with women is a key factor in selecting/keeping a great partner down the road.

18. The Scorpion and the Frog:: A scorpion was trying to cross a body of water and asked the frog for a ride across. The frog said "how will I know you won't you sting me?" The scorpion said "because if I stung you we would both drown silly". So the frog put the scorpion on his back and started swimming across the water when he realized the scorpion stung him. "Why did you do this?""Because it's my nature!" The scorpion said as they both started sinking in the water. This short story has presented itself a couple times throughout my 20s. I can think in particular of 2 people who I tried desperately to help that would consume HEAPS of my mental bandwidth. Time after time these people stung me in the back and kept letting me down. I realized that some people are just scorpions that will sting because it's in their nature. It's unfortunate but there is some people you just can't help or be close with for this reason.

19. Be The Best Version of Yourself in Success and Defeat: I was 20 years old playing my first ever live poker session at Casino Niagara. An old man lost a big pot and said "nice hand sir" to the guy acting like a deuchebag on the other side of the table. He leaned over and said "kid, you don't take money or anything to the grave". What he was trying to say was that your honor and integrity/legacy you leave as a person is what you die with. The money and material bs is only temporary. Ever notice at the poker table when some guy is winning he's a big loud mouth and super friendly/generous with everybody? Come back to the table another day when that guy has lost a few buy ins and now he's a silent miserable dick. Winning and losing are both part of life and it's always a big test of character to act in line with your best self through good times and bad.

20. Buy Bitcoin: I joke about buying bitcoin but I wish I bought earlier, as I wish I bought Amazon earlier, or Apple, or Tesla etc lol. For real though, listen to sharp people in your corner that have good insights. I'd be a lot richer today if I just followed some financial tips from friends 1 million times wealthier than myself. If you want fitness tips listen to a guy who's jacked, if you want financial tips listen to a guy who's rich...consult the experts in your network when trying to improve a skill!

21. BONUS I learned this early in my 30s...I wasted a LOT of time not taking action. Since getting ahold of my life my place is much cleaner, I've lost a bunch of weight, I've started having a really good sex life, my money is healthy, I'm really liking the person I've been becoming. My 20s I was guilty of being "a self help junky". I would read theory for hours upon hours but take very little action into doing the things I knew I needed to do. I'd get off on reading the theory getting some sensation that I was taking action, but then I'd wake up the next day and go on Pornhub, then eat some shitty breakfast sandwich and repeat the toxic cycle. Do what you know you are supposed to/need to do, not what you feel like doing. Self discipline is a rare trait these days and the more you can condition yourself to do what's right can really separate you from the competition.

My 20s were a hell of a learning experience and journey! It's 3:07 AM here and it's time to get on with my 30s now. Life beckons!
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Thanks for reading if anyone made it through this or uses this forum anymore!

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P.S. For anyone wondering things are going really well on my end. I'll give a more specific update speaking about that some other time. For now, thanks so much for reading and hope you guys are all doing well.

Signing off for now, much love, Mike

Ah no, dont end on a cliffhanger, wanna know about the poker (or lack thereof).

Been following for a while, just wanted to say I liked that list and made me reflect and think about myself and my life, so thanks for sharing.

Great post.
I think everyone will find something to think about after reading it.

Thank you!

Subbed! Just read your last post while lying in bed; I enjoyed it a lot. You remind me of... me.

haha ill try to squeeze in an update shortly here. appreciate that and so glad to hear!

thank you!

haha thanks man appreciate that hope all is well. i think a lot of us grinders have a lot more in common than we think

Respecting the Grind

"You'll never be successful until I don't have to give you a dime to do what you do." -Eric Thomas

When I was ~13 years old my uncle taught me how to play poker at a family holiday gathering. I didn't really know anything and I had 0 patience and would bluff off my stack every heads up match we played. I think I lost about 500% of my net worth in that match, maybe 5$...I was devastated. That being said, I just loved the game and had nobody/nowhere to play it so my only option was to call him to come over and play me heads up. His phone would ring off the hook with my match invites. I vividly remember finding a Daniel Negreanu video online about "playing small ball". The video was cheesy and laughably basic but it revolutionized my understanding for the game and I finally had some type of strategy going forward. After gaining a bit of an understanding and making some adjustments I started routinely beating my uncle and winning some money. This transcended into playing with friends at lunch break in our school cafeteria which embarrassingly enough, was the peak motivating factor for me attending school on many days.

Well before I was of legal age to play online poker I would play recreationally for play money. Some niche sketchy site called Tiger Gaming ran a couple freerolls every day with 2-3$ up top type thing. This was long before I knew of any earning potential in the game or really had any clue whatsoever of how to play (I still don't I guess lol). I would set an alarm for when each freeroll ran, including the ones at 2 AM. I'd wake up to my alarm and turn on my computer to play the game I loved for a chance to win literal pennies. Some nights I'd be falling asleep at the wheel and would have to wake my brother to put in a shift. If alarm bells are going off in your head that I had some unhealthy obsession with this game don't worry, you're definitely not wrong.

When I made it to Uni and was finally of legal age to play online poker I tried grinding everything from HU cash to SNGs, to MTTs, to DONs etc. I distinctly remember experimenting with as many as 60 tables at once, but normally I would keep it at a humble 30. I'd play for as little as 10 cent buy ins. I'd bring my laptop and play poker while I was in class, before rushing back to my dorm afterwards to play poker late into the evening. A couple times I ran up small 3/4 figure bank rolls but ultimately didn't have the discipline or skill to grow the bankroll further.

Again, yes, it would be ridiculous for me to not admit that there was some form of gambling addiction or insane compulsion at play here. On the bright side, that unhealthy obsession was like a steroid fueling me to do everything within my power to make my poker dream become a reality. I had no off button, I just wouldn't stop grinding or thinking about poker...even in my dreams at night (literally). If I didn't have this obsession I would have quit numerous times along the road. I eagerly search to find something in life that I have even 10% of the passion that I once had for poker.

Anyways, I eventually got a backing deal for 2.50$ 180 man SNGs and I would grind those around the clock and get coaching whenever possible. I eventually rose up stakes quite quickly with that backing group and my career started to develop from there. I don't need to elaborate on how big of a grind this has been or to describe the roller coaster, as I'm sure most reading can relate. When I look back on the last 10 years I gave everything I had to this game. I sacrificed my body, my grades, my health, my relationships, and my future for this game.

So why am I describing the ridiculous lengths that my former younger self would go through to try making it in poker? Well, it's a reminder to my current self of the grind ethic my younger self once had that got me here. I haven't played a tournament session for weeks and haven't once felt any desire to do so. I've been honoring my fitness regime and playing golf/grinding dating etc. but at the end of the day I haven't been respecting my grind and going cold turkey for weeks because I don't feel like playing is unacceptable.

I'll be flying to Calgary tomorrow for the WSOP Circuit event thing there with a little golf/hiking as a side mission. This will be the first tourney I've played in weeks and I'm ready to get back to business and firing online when I'm home. I owe it to my younger self that gave everything to have this opportunity. It's time for me to wake the **** up and start respecting my grind.

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Thanks for reading and GL at the tables

"All men are created equal, some work harder in pre-season" -Emmitt Smith

thats what i like to hear, gl mate, speak soon xx

Sometimes I feel like that, it's so hard to put volume, but in the early days it was so easy to play 10k hands in a day lol. My dream was to become good in the game, now that I'm decent I put 5x less volume

Gl with your goals man

For all of you struggling with volume and motivation I strongly recommend you a short trip to a 3rd world country ie India or Bangladesh to see how life looks beyond suburban 'murica or Europe. It's hard to go back to your 1st world comfort and wake up one morning feeling "demotivated" to sit in your gamer chair, put on your $300+ noise cancelling headphone to listen to some tunes and play poker for $100+ a session thinking there's a guy in the streets of Mumbai or Dhaka collecting tin and plastic bottles from the trash for a dollar a day (if lucky).

Hey guys it's been a minute since I've updated. Been super busy and haven't really felt the motivation to write. Anyways, hope y'all are doing well out there and can find some type of value in the following post.

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"A nation is born stoic but dies epicurean"

I read this quote a while ago from the famous historian Will Durant. I'm not 100% sure of the meaning or context of the quote but I believe it describes the natural progression of many societies but I think it can also be applied to many individuals, bloodlines, organizations etc. When something new is formed whether it be a settlement, team, company or a bloodline it is often off the backs of individuals in difficult times who have very little. Due to the nature of these people being hard done by, they are often forced to work very hard and live under various constraints. In these times, a person or society etc can experience rapid growth. It takes massive pressure to make a diamond, if you will. People put in hard work and feel good about the eventual fruits of their labour.

Somewhere along the line when success comes people tend to become complacent. They become accustomed to certain luxuries that their forefathers have provided and they over indulge. It's at this point that a person or a civilization begins to degenerate and deteriorate. We see this in many first world countries today where the obesity rate is through the roof and citizens live a life style that even the wealthiest person 500 years ago couldn't even fathom. So many of us are at a loss for purpose in this world because it's so easy to distract ourselves with the sedentary/epicurean lifestyle that generations before us have made possible for us. Instead of working to progress ourselves or society, it's so easy to sit back and relax watching Tiktoks or playing Xbox, living the human experience through an avatar in a video game. It's really sad to reflect on because I see so many of us (myself included) falling into these degenerating traps. We've abandoned the attitudes and practises of our hard working stoic ancestors in exchange for a lazy and entitled over indulgent epicurean lifestyle. As humans in order to feel good, in my opinion, we need to be progressing and living in touch with our ancestral roots hard wired into us after several thousand years of evolution.

For an example, this stoic to epicurean cycle can often be observed in many men when they go through a tough breakup. When they are single they get into really good shape and work hard on themselves until they get locked down with a girl. At this point they get complacent and stop going to the gym, get fat, and become a weaker version of the guy that attracted her in the first place.

So, this is a poker blog? Right, I meant to link this back to poker but just got a little off topic:

About a year ago online poker where I live got geo-fenced so that I could only play against people online that live in my province. The player pool that I'm in daily is obviously much smaller than the global pool as are the prize pools that accompany that shift. I play against the same regs every session which creates a lot of interesting dynamics and player reads. There is one young kid that since the start of the shift was just running so insane against me. A few hands stuck out where he did some egregious stuff and sucked out on me which got imprinted in my mind as me running bad and him being a regfish that was just sun running vs. me temporarily. As time passed he improved immensely and I heard that he was spending heaps of time in the lab, and it showed. I kept giving credit and over folding to these "ridic" lines that he was taking. Ironically, his frequencies in these spots seemed so insane and they were. I'm embarassed to say I lightly hated on him in chat a few times out of frustration for 1) how good he has ran vs. me 2) I was getting frustrated and feeling like I was getting ran over, loosing the all ins or getting terrible runouts to bluff catch, or when I looked him up he was nutted.

So one day a few weeks ago I decided to sharkscope him to see how he was doing. All it took for me was to see one graph on one site being up ~180k with very little variance in one year of grinding. Sure, he's sun ran hard but it was time for me to wake the **** up and smell the coffee. To be the top dog I need to be putting in top dog effort. I lost that "dog" mentality that I had early in my career after getting a few 6 figure scores under my belt and being financially comfortable for the first time in my life. Back then I wanted to be recognized as a good player and that time came where I got that validation from a few top players in the game. Coming up I was a stoic poker player with no money so thirsty for any way to improve and get to the top. Recent years found a much more epicurean version of me, indulging in my successes and neglecting everything that made me successful in the first place.

It's really been years since I've seriously studied poker or put any real effort into my game. For about 3 years I was checked out and wasn't even coming close to fully applying myself. Especially in Ontario where the short term money feels so small in comparison to the global pool and the competition is much weaker, I was just showing up with my C game. Sure, I made decent money in the first year of Ontario but I could probably have made double what I did if I actually showed up and put in the work/effort. So I had the realization: instead of bitching at this guy in chat and being salty that he's massively over bluffing certain lines...why not figure out a way to exploit his unbalances and inefficiencies? That night I got in the lab until 5 AM and made a vow to myself to start showing up for my sessions and doing meditations beforehand to make sure I'm checked in until the final hand is dealt that session.

Long story short guys, the dog in me was gone for a few years...but he's back now.

Results have been very good last few months and I'm really enjoying the game again. Ironically, I won a WSOP.ca ring event for ~43k last week and one key hand was where I set a pre flop trap vs. the overly aggro reg mentioned above. I like to think that having those realizations that I need to adapt my strategy to exploit him led to this hand that a previous version of myself would have just 4 bet pre-flop and got the snap fold.

Btw this post is about giving credit to that reg's "stoic" hard work and his great results and not me trying to say I owned him cuz i coolered him calling a 3bet with AA and he flopped top pair. Shoutout to him if he ever reads this as he inspired me to get back to the practises that made me successful in the first place.
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Thanks for reading guys hope it inspires someone out there. Signing off til next time. -Mike

Don't worry I think I know who you're talking about, he's a friend of mine and he is in fact a huge donk, no need to give him credit ----- jk

Hey Mike,

Long-time lurker of this thread. I've followed your progress for years so it's pretty cool for me that we are battling now. I had a feeling I was who you were referring to in your post and then the last HH confirmed it for me. You are correct in that I am indeed a sun runner vs you but I'm sure the tides will change.

FWIW I'm 31 so not that young for poker, I'd like to think I'm young at heart though. I appreciate you giving me credit (although I don't mind people thinking I'm a regfish ). The respect is very mutual and your longevity in the game/ability to adapt and exploit players and still win in this game is something that I admire and continue to work on.

That KJ vs AA hand was definitely interesting near the bubble for what I believe was CL pot. I'm still unsure about my line especially given it was near the situation of the tournament. I definitely liked your line in that hand. I was glad to see my chips went to good use .

See you in the streets,

Fuzz

hahah yeah man didn't mean to make the hh sound like i owned you or something was just a pretty standard cooler. nahh you're playing really well and i was 80% checked out for the first ~8 months of Ontario poker so I deserve the L. i find the small player pool really interesting because seeing the same villains everyday interesting dynamics evolve. it's also super easy to get a selective bias from only a few hands to think one guy is sun running me/targeting me or w/e but in reality its just the card distribution over a small sample.

ty bro I appreciate it and my thoughts are mutual. didn't realize we are the same age haha that's cool to see another old dog battling out against the new guard

Thanks for the response and i'll hit you up on discord some time. See u in the streets

Hey guys long time no talk. Things are going really well on my end and it's really been ages since I've felt any temptation to post in here. I wanted to quickly post a little story from the 2500$ high roller tourney at Woodbine a few weeks ago and maybe some other ramblings after. I'll outline the key points of the story:

-2500 high roller scheduled to be a 1 day tournament. Anybody that saw the structure sheet and amount of runners and had any type of poker IQ would know that this tourney would not complete in 1 day.
-I tell myself w/e if I have to grind 24 hours straight to win 250k it is what it is.
-Bubble bursts at approx. 2 AM
-Final 18 I have a nice swap on with a friend and we're each top 3-4 in chips with ~40-50bbs
-I notice that the structure randomly skips a level, going from 10-20k to 15-30k, in which the 1k-2k level earlier was a double level and then went to 1500-2500
-I ask the TD who shows me on the structure sheet that it says "after level 18 the TD can make changes at their discretion to the structure"
-He decides that he won't make it a 2 day tournament at this point and will instead turn it into a mere hyper turbo, skipping every other blind level.

Long story short, the tournament had great structure all day, and with 18 players left playing for 250k the TD decided to decrease the skill edge massively so the staff wouldn't have to work longer hours. To players who came out to support this gong show of a poker series, waiting in line as alternates for 5 hours, driving down to pre-register the tournaments, etc....it's just a huge slap in the face to the players. It's seldom in almost any poker player's career to have a shot at playing for 250k with 18 players left and the TDs decided to make a mockery of that special moment for most of the remaining players. But anyways, I went on to win the tourney for 250k....in my dreams. I got 11th and my friend got 12th for a bag of peanuts and a bad case of the Woodbine flu.

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It was now approaching 7 AM and I was driving home from Toronto to KW. I was livid with the events that had just taken place and was driving in a state of sleep-deprived rage (if that sounds unsafe it's probably because it was). I was trying to shake this one off and look for things to get me off tilt but I just couldn't. I've taken a lot of bad beats in my career but this one just hurt a little bit different.

As I was driving I saw all of the Eastbound traffic on the 401, presumably most of the people were commuting to their jobs in Toronto. Most of them probably do that drive every week day morning, every week, and every year in order to make a living and provide for their families. Driving the opposite direction, Westbound, it was apparent to me that I've chosen a different type of life from these people. They're just waking up and starting their days driving to work, I'd been up nearly 24 hours at this point, driving home from playing a poker tournament all day/night. I started to question some of my life decisions....."is this all worth it?"....."wtf am I even doing with my life?"...."how is the poker world even a real thing?"......"maybe I should just hang it up and leave this game in the rear view"

Opportunity cost is a very real thing in life and you can only put eggs in so many baskets. Every hour I put into this game is an hour that isn't put into something else. Every year I put into poker is a year I'm not advancing in some other career path....and a year has now become a decade. I've put over a decade into this game. Scary stuff. Part of me loves this grind deeply and can't see any other way while the other part of me is cynical and isn't quite sold on identifying as a "poker player" as I grow into middle age. I mean, there's many days where I feel survivor's guilt just being able to literally do whatever I want in a day and not having anybody to answer to. My friends complain about their jobs to me and of how little free time they have and I have to bite my tongue from complaining about the exact opposite. Some days I feel envious that they have a career to answer to, day to day obligations if you will.

I think part of why I've been feeling this way lately is because deep down I know my effort has been lackluster. I play in a very weak player pool nowadays and just showing up with my B game and clicking buttons is enough to make some decent money. I've really lost that fighting spirit lately and every day that I see myself putting in a weak effort at my craft is a day that a little bit more frustration with my self builds. I haven't been focused, I haven't played well, I haven't worked hard, ****, I've barely even studied for more than a few minutes here or there. That is going to change.

I'm going on a 5 day trip to Cayman Islands until next week. Upon return you can expect a few things:
-Weekly updates in here again
-Some type of results based self-challenge
-I will be rejuvenated and ready to get back to the basics that made me successful at this game in the first place

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That's all I got for now guys. Wasn't really sure which direction I wanted to take this post so I more or less just free-styled it. Will come back with a lot more positive attitude next week and some guidelines for a self-motivation challenge.

Hope you all are doing well and best of luck!