2p2 Join date: 2008, im not a tourist. just a dude in need of a fresh start.

Giving away too much info on my "main handle," which has been the same as my email address since Gmail has been in existence.

This Blog will document poker and other life aspects.

Poker Playing 1/2, 2/3 in Arizona at Lone Butte and Talking Stick. Grinded 1/2 last month (October) for 142 hours for a grand total of $1791 or 12.66/hr. #Ouch

September I went 112 hours for $4348 which comes out to 38.9 an hour.

I've basically been out of poker until this last summer when I started taking some shots at the nano live stakes. I'll post graphs a plenty and all that ****, but what's a good app or site to post pics on here?

Life Just moved back to ARizona from Los Angeles a year ago to be a dad. The sweet baby girl was born in Sept. of 2021 and the mom and baby moved to Ohio that following November. I hired litigation and have been battling with the mother for a year now.

I'm making steps at getting better and sober. October 1st I stopped alchohol and cigarrettes. Mid October I filled my Adderall perscription for the last time. Went through 900 MG's of Instant release in about 10 days. Adderall turns me into a complete piece of ****. I don't sleep, I don't eat, I don't work out. I just study or play poker for ten hours then beat my little dick in my bedroom til kingdom come.

Still smoking weed everyday, which I am trying to cut back on or quit. Still doing Testosterone injections (was prescribed) and dabbling in other roids (Anavar right now).

I work a Part time job at a hotel as a banquet server. It's quite possibly the most toxic workplace I've ever been a part of. The full timers work 60-70+ hours a week and are ****ing Miserable. But they each easily clear 100k.

Other noteworthy Bullshit
I am sexually active with a few different girls. Mixing Testosterone and anavar plus NOFAP (no masturbation) is absolutely crazy. If I got a few days without cumming my whole personality warps. It's almost too much. Weed brings me back to baseline a little bit.

I just got a new laptop and Adobe Creative so I'm going to learn Adobe Animate, Premiere (video editing) and AFter effects (special effects). Not sure If I want to focus on Premiere or Animate first.

Hopefully the ratio of this blog is half poker half life, but we'll see.

This account is brand spankin' new, so let's see if it actually lets me post new threads:

In poker I realized I'm calling too much. When I came back to poker a few months ago I went on a ****ing tearrrrrrrrrrrr.

But now I'm paying them off too much. I open wide as **** (when permitted) and am not folding nearly enough. As a result, I'm getting owned.

I open UTG and get called by a new, younger player. We're both $450 deep at 1/2 (300 max).

He weirdly introduces himself to me as we're going HU to a flop.

Flop 997. I have a 7. He leads $10.

Turn 7, I have the underfull. He open shoves LOL!

This is the easiest fold in the world. But for some dumb reason I go into the tank and he starts talking, I don't remember what about.

I eventually ask "wouuld you really do this with a 9?"

He's like "I'll show you one card."

I wait a few seconds and point to the card on his right.

He says "The one on the right?! and flips over an Ace.

Greed got the best of me and I talk myself into a call. of course he has the 9. Ship him the $900 pot.




I have AK with the Ace of Hearts. villian in this hand is a mawg, i read him as a station, yet still made this move.

I dont remember pre but i think i open and he 3b and I call. Im IP
Flop 99Thxx
Turn Th
Riv 2H

I bomb flop and turn and shove the river, we both started with 200bbs at least.

He asks the dealer "is aces cracked going right now?" The dealer confirms it is.

You know what happens next. the calling station stays true to his nature.

so i subbed to GTO Wizard. I've worked on other GTO apps like PostFlop + but sometimes "GTO" is ****ing shocking.

LIke it seems so goddamned nitty at times yet other times it wants you to check shove the river with bottom pair/

I'm absolutely clueless as to how valuable studying GTO is for a 1/2 table. I feel like crunching videos ala CLP is much more valuable for these live stakes.

But as it stands I payed the $90 (!!!) for a month and will finish out GTO Wizard doing 100 hands a day.

Live Poker at Low Stakes:

I can really just fold and play pocket pairs for set value and high pairs for .... pair value?

Not sure why i get so caught up trying to make some bullshit, top-notch, disco-ass plays.

Maybe I'm the sucker?

Today's session I will ****ING FOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Check min raise me? I'll fold.

Raise my bet? I'll fold.

Sneeze out of turn? I'll fold.

Maybe then i can book a win again.

100 hands. I guess now if a robot ever sits 1/2 at the local indian casino I'll an 89% favorite

Goals for Today:

[x] 100 hands GTO Wiz

Study Adobe Animate for 1 hour

Hit the gym (push!)

grind poker and make some ****ing foldsssssssssssssssssssssss

hit up a milf whose number I got last night and try and slay. Or a date from Tinder/ BUmble?

so i hit up an old fwb that i hadn't seen in a few months yesterday. I roll over and she's laying in a pile of whip-it's on the couch watching the TV screen.

never seen someone in their mid 30's addicted to whip it's like this chick is. she wouldn't even let me hit it either. but it's okay because she kind of smelled.

after she crashed i hit up the local casino at around mid night.

i go with the intention of ****ing folding post flop, and do a decent amount of that, combined with my usual mix of opening a lot.

on one hand we're 5 handed, and theres a UTG straddle and the ep player (reg) open limps. I pop to $15 with TT, 4 calls!!!! lol. I know i should be popping it more, like 25-30 pre.

all call, flop is Q82r. checks around.

turn is a Q, chekcs through again.

Riv is a 7, reg checks i bet 20 all fold except reg who calls with A8, I'm good.



About 10 minutes later i have JTo in the sb, an ep limp and i complete. BB checks.

flop Q98 I lead 5, BB an older woman with about $500 instantly pops it to $20. I instantly repop to $100, hoping to induce a raise, but she snap calls.

Turn is an 8, I tank for like 45 seconds before betting $100. Not sure what the **** I should be doing here. There's $200 in the pot on the flop, I have about $250 left on this turn.

The old lady villian calls and says "I filled up" and flips over 98 prematurely.

Riv is a 9 and I say out loud "I check" after her hand is face up.

oh welllllls.

I actaully felt on my game last night. Not at my tip top A game, but solid B level. The table breaks and I leave after the JT hand devastated my stack. Not in the mood to reload and chase my losses all night. Im not there for long at all..

my november results are horrible: down $1000 over 24 hours. probably going back to the casino today after gym.

Poker is a bitch of a game and at this point I'm clueless as to whether I'm running bad or playing bad.

Pic is a box of discarded whip its. she got 300 whip its in the morning before i came and we went back and got 300 more. They're about $160 per 300 LOLLLLLL

[x] poker confirmed dead

cmon out to desert diamond west in glendale, buncha droolers out there

i should check that out.. havent' made it to that casino yet

if this is as bad as i'm going to run, it's bearable. it's not even that painful.

the funny thing is, if my "bad run" came three months ago instead of now, i wouldn't even be playing poker.

i went into a few sessions earlier on with the idea that if i don't profit this session, i'm going to be taking a long break from poker.

one of those sessions was when i was stopping through vegas and bought in at the golden nugget for $200. i profited about $400 after two sessions.

Another time was Aug 24th, after i took my state real estate exam. i got a 74 on the exam, and you need a 75 to pass. tilted, i went to lone butte and bought in for the 1/2 for 300. proceeded to go on the hottest sun run i've ever been and booked $1920 profit.

sun run fun

played yesterday for 2.5 hours, lost $82

was dealt a laughable amount of 35o and 72

finally look down at QJo, a monster from the LoJack. i open to $10 button and sb call.

KT4r i 15, button call, sb fold

button is an older lady, her husband is sitting on her right, but i didnt know that yet.

turn brings a Jack bringing backdoor hearts, giving me 2nd pair along with my oesd.

im unsure whether i should be betting or checking here. i'm pretty sure gto would LOOOOVE to check call and not get blown off our equity. but i don't see this older lady raising much here at all.

I bet 25, she tanks a bit and calls.

River is a T bringing in backdoor hearts.

i check she bets 45 i fold.

she shows 44 for a flopped set and rivered boat.



dont think i played too poorly yesterday. made a tight river fold after opening A4o in LP:

flop 455 I bet, short stack calls. turn J ch ch. riv 2 (backdoor diamonds come in) he leads 27 . he was shaking a lot, not sure how to read into this? thought this meant the nuts??? i'm trying to fold a ton more rivers so i fold my bluff catcher here.

this kid was weird. loved to take his sweet time on any decision he had. would put on a mask, cowboy hat and sunglasses anytime he played a pot. even lectured me about the merits of knowning GTO after another guy was asking me about GTO Wizard ( i didnt bring it up).

gonna crunch 100 hands in GTO wizard now.

bought a $60 book on adobe animate which arrives today.

talking to an attorney in a bit and gonna go work at the hotel tonight. not sure if im going to grind after, we'll see how i feel.

I'm not sure why I enjoyed reading this so much

played a bit of 1/2 last night after work.

one of the first few hands got KK aipf vs a big stack's QQ and held

about an hour later got QQ aipf vs a reg's AA and lost.

the games were good though.


still down clips this month, still not lovin police

November so far:

All 1/2 at Lone Butte :
still crushing the 1/2 for $34 even though i've been donating for weeks now. winning session % is suprisingly low though, no?

thanks breh!

worked a double yesterday at the hotel and in between shifts went to lone butte, which is a stone's throw.

long list for 1/2 so sat 4/8 since i only had about 1.5 hours to spare.

i don't even know what to buy in for so plop $200 on the table as soon as i sit down.

first hand i get is 44. i think im in early mid position and just call.

its LOL limit so everyone cals behind.

flop Q84 i lead, get raised, reraise.

turn T

i lead, get raised, reraise, i think she rr? i call

river X

i check she bets i call she has J9 for a straight. Down $70 before my chips even make it to the table.

some drooler while i was in the hand was like "oh **** this is the biggest pot i've seen"

I'm like "....really?" (while in the hand)

he's like " oh i mean at a 4/8 table..."

cringe.

got off work about 10 and went and ****ed the whip it girl. she swears she's off it now. I swore that she threw away 100 whip its on accident.

if i could grind out a profit at limit i would have no problem grinding it . would definitely need to keep my noise cancellation headphones fully charged at all times because the conversations at 4/8 LHE are ****ing stupiddddddd

accidentally bought a book on adobe illustrator, when i meant to get adobe animator. but the mistake is corrected and the new book is arriving today.

pretty sure im going to **** one of my managers at the hotel. she randomly told me yesterday that she lived close to where we work. i always am flirty with her when no ones around. look deep into her eyes, glance at her tits. she knows whats up. shes also like mid 50's and a solid 6. but im on VAR and no fap.


check out my graphs broken down by weekday. from this, i guess we can assume either A. Varaince or B. I absolutely crush Wednesdays.

really feel that my poker results are going to start turning around. a month or two ago I was crushing every session. then i started losing every session. now i'm only donating $60-100 every session!!!!!



today: pick up adobe animate book, get some more weed, grind a bit, work at 3:30. will probably be horney after work so might have to slay some puss

-does it make any difference if i put my images in spoilers?

-if my poker career only ever existed on Wednesdays, how long til rail heaven?

-Are STD's pretty much cured at this point?

actually, let's up the stakes a bit.

Not buying weed before my session. only buying weed after work tonight if this session is profitable.

well that was a ****ing disaster.

got to my local casino at around 11 yesterday, only 3 1/2 tables running.

i of course drew the table full of OMC ****ing NITS. Its probably a bad sign if i'm alrady tilted while sitting down.

it's your typical nitbag 11am piece of yawn trash table: open limp, cal cal cal calll callll calllllll calllll callll

small bet call cal calll call callalalclaclllcllall

check echk check check bet cal cal cal cal cal cal min raise oh **** he have a royal

fold fold fold fold fold

i, of course, want no part in this. after over limping one hand and seeing the ol $10 value bet on the flpo and turn followed by a 17 bet on the riv. and you know old man dingus has the stones.


next hand i iso a limp.

hand after that i again iso over two limps, this time to $15 on my button


one call

flop JJx

i bet
he calls

turn J i bet
he calls


Riv A
i bet 25

he insta 125, i fold my air.

im already tilted and request a table change

i go outside and stand in the sun. i should have left my phone on the table with the recorder going to hear what the old droolers said about me while i was gone. ive done this before, it's actaully hilarious.

tilt warning #2 was when i was standing in the sun i realized i don't want to go back into the poker room. like a weird anxiety twoard playing poker. sun feels so good and the poker room is just dirty feeling.

i should have just instantly left and went for a walk or ridden the scooters. instead i go back in to "grind."

finally i get a table change, at least the average age of this table is less than 55 so its going well alraeady

i know the guy to my left, friendly donk reg, he laments getting kicked out the past weekend for getting too drunk and "saying something to a black guy" that he doesn't remember (LOLL)
but he wants to apologize !

anyway i get KQo utg 7 handed and open it up LDO

one caller in LP with a stack of about 125. He's a loose donkey

flop Q42
i 10, call

turn 7 bringin in flush draw
i 25, call

riv 9?

i shove he beats me into the pot.

22 obv

i snap rack up before the BB hits me.

pretty crazy bad session. I didn't even get any hands aside from the KQo, just steadily chipping down. bluffing off my chips.

over 30 hours this month i'm earning negative $50 an hour!!!! what in the goddamned ****ing hell is that bullshit???

at this point i'm actually losing more sessions than I'm winning. yet im still in the black! what in the ****ing hell is that ****?

since i said i wouldnt re up the weed unless i profit, I did NOT buy more weed last night.

guess i'm taking a little break from weed? not sure for how long. i'm still taking hits of resin to ease the transition.

i need to crank out some crushlive poker videos.

I'm goint to watch 15 hours of videos before i go back and grind!


i was doing so well when i was watching videos every day and not playing while high. need to get back nito that. need to find my rhythm again.

Non poker:

slayed the whip it girl again last night after work, but she went out of twon for a few days.

got the adobe animate book.

work is slow for the next week or so because of thanksgiving, so i have time to focus on animate, dating, lifting, music.

gonna try and focus on routine more: get back into meditation, less mindless interweb browsing, continue killing it in the gym, go on some dates with some nice girls and slay the baddies.

push my comfort zone, focus on my craft. possibly find a good wfh job as opposed to being a dumb ass banquet server and 1/2 donator.

thats all for now.

0/15 hours of CLP vids watched before next session.

Didnt' grind yesterday, this may not be the poker blog that it was meant to be.

didnt realize that theres another section for straight blogs, if a mod wants to move this to the blog section, that's kewl.

was so super horned up yesterday that i banged out some tinder slag in the walmart parking lot. after that i was finallyi able to get my work done and focus.

was just consumed by my horniness, it's not as much of a problem if im somewhere in public and cant edge my piener. but if i'm alone in me house im just consumed by horniness. talking darty to the tinder hose and wacking to non-completion.

pounding out some of the adobe animate work. getting to know and understand the program.

the problem with poker is how consuming it is. my poker aspirations aren't to grind the nose bleeds for 70 hours a week and make it to the hustler casino live to get cheated by some ditz.

i just want to grind 20-30 hrs a week and book my 30$ hourly, stress free, with no other effort or energy expended.

But we all know poker is not like that.

i've put in 30 hours this month and am losing $50 an hour! that's not accounting for the psychological stress i have of losing $$$ or any efforts im putting into poker away from the table.

the reason i had to take a light break from poker is because, although I still have a couple thousand in cash, it's getting to the point where I need the money. And if you need the money in poker, it's probably not goign to end well. your performance will suffer.

getting all in on a flop of QT4r with 44 and losing to AQ isn't as cute when that $700 pot makes a substantial difference to your bottom line. (true story bro)

cliff notes on my daughter/custody situation;

-Impregnated bumble girl in dec. 2020 on the firs tnight we met
-still lived in LA at the time, was traveling back and forth a bit to see the mom
-told her I'd move back to AZ, it took longer than expected. BUT!:
-i moved back before baby was born.
-daughter born Sept 2021
-bumble girl has emotional issues ( but hell, maybe i have issues also)
-cant come to agreement on anything. ARguing about everything. she's just addicted to drama
-(bumble girl) baby mama was supposed to come with baby to my parents for thanksgiving 2021
-a few weeks before we have a major falling out/ argument
-she doesn't come for Thanksgiving. i hire an attorney.
-stupid ****ing attorney sends her an email saying "we're going to serve you, so cooperate."
-baby mama packs up her belongings and moves back to Ohio

TBC...

since i'm no longer drinking or playing poker (for now) i have a lot of extra time on my hands.

i would, therefore, contend that it may be a wise decision to impose a bit of a routine on myself.

i've done this in the past with great results. my schedule and general well-being improve greatly.

for now i'm going to keep it simple, with just daily tasks that will be checked off.

TO DO, EVERY DAY:

• Meditate
  Blog
  Play music
  workout or work
  have a social interaction that pushes my comfort zone (or) date (or) read for 20 minutes
  animate( or) adobe
  play poker ( or) study poker

it's a pretty simple list. in the past ive done lists 3x as long as this that i'd try and hit everyday, but i just end up setting myself up for failure.

this should give me wiggle room as i there are only 7 things to do each day. I've given myself some options as it's not exactly feasible to work , hit the gym, go do something social and play poker each and every day.

wierdly enough, every time i write out lists like this to implement, i always put meditation first. apparently it's that important to me.

i'm going to start small and easy with my meditation. yesterday i only did it for 2 minutes, but it was the first day back in a looooong while.

in the past ive done meditation for 20 minutes a day for months on end, and the results are incredible. you feel completely different!

in these types of things, consistency is the most important.

yes i'll miss tasks and days, but if i contintue to hit 80% of my daily tasks in the long run, it can be considered success.

brb meditating or 3 mins now.

back at it an ready to push it to the limit.

the break from poker has been a relief. i'm almost ready to get back into the grind, but committed to pounding out my 15 hours of study before going back. only 1 hour of 15 down. Now that i've a computer i'm kind of tempted to get back into the online grind. but that **** can really suck your life away. Id rather grind tournies than cash online personally. i've fond memories of mass tabling donkaments on PS back pre- BF.

studying online poker is so much easier than studying live, at least as far as going back and reviewing your hh.

I so miss crunching stats in Holdem manager after a long session.

now that i'm not drinking or grinding i have SO much free time on my hands!

if i can stay on top of my routine for the next week or so and i hit my 15 hours of crushlive poker i might go to vegas or LA for a few days. im in AZ, so vegas is a 1 hr flight or 5 hr bus ride. sometimes one can find a one way plane ticket to vegas for $25 from PHX!

soooo ready for the next run good or just run normal live no limit choose your own adventure!

_________

realized my protein powder is a lot less calories than the past ones ive gotten. a bartender at my work said i've lost weight. this is like devastating information to me. well not devastating, but like ****.

still making good progress in the gym, lifting wise. can squat two plates for reps, can decline bench 2 plates for reps, can dead lift 2 plates for ... 2 reps?

i think ive slept with 4 girls in the past two weeks. all of them ive laid with before, except one from tinder. she's a dog for sure, and even married on that ENM weird ****. but i was horney and got her to meet up in the walmart parking lot.

im really looking for a monogomous, Long term relationship wiht a wholesome girl that i can pump 6 kids into. but so many women these days are ****ing brain damaged from social media and netflix. not to say the men are much better. i just think (most) men are much less susceptible to propaganda.

my standards for a realtionship are sooo incredibly high, while my standards for slam pigging are so incredibly low its a wonder that im not gay.

i fall in love so ****ing easily that i wonder if it's just lust?


i want to get back into MMA. maybe when i can cut off the weed for good i'll force myself to get back into it. i did muay thai a few years ago in LA, and loved it!

brb gonna meditate and then :


Play music
workout or work
have a social interaction that pushes my comfort zone (or) date (or) read for 20 minutes
animate( or) adobe
play poker ( or) study poker




1/15 CLP/poker study hours before next session

poker, like dating, is a balancing act.

the best results will come from a reasonable amount of effort and aggression. but not too much!!!

Didn't work or grind poker yesterday. but my motivation was high and i checked off all on my todo list with ease.

think i got 3 hours of studying animate in, and 2 hours of studying poker. definitely over on both. not bad for a stoner. had a weird reluctance to actually sitting down and watching a clp video, and for some reason a lot of the videos on the site are not wokring for me. but once i got going i was really into it.

kind of sick though. sneezy as hell and stuffy up in me nose. probably going to chill on the gym today, give my body a rest. tested for the vid, but came back negative.

going to a memorial today for two of my cousins, both younger than i, who died about a month ago. one in a car crash and one was born with cystic fibrosis and the disease eventually got the best of him. they were brothers and died 8 days a part.

didnt do anything social to push my comfort zone yesterday. what this would look like is just striking up conversation with a stranger (or a worker) and just step out of my comfort zone a little bit.

instead i texted an old booty call looking for some ass but she said she's seeing someone.


arrrggg ready to get back into some live poker but still committed to my study before hand.

still contemplating whether i should just play the big 2/3 game (1k cap) or my regular 1/2 (300 cap) once i get back into the swing of things. really just want to get back into how my game was 2 months ago before the doom switch activation.

i was just highly motivated and grinding my poker study hard. then i kind of got a big head about my results and spent all my time grinding and not studying. then some how picked up the habit of calling off every time.

i also ran reallly bad in huge pots but alas, none of it helped.

i need to rely more on dedication, not just counting on becoming motivated. one is commitment, one is superficial and riding energy (which fades over time).

this is what separates the elites from the bad regs: dedication.

4.5/15 hours of CLP videos watched before next session.

im starting to miss the grind a bit; and it's beautiful.

when i was forcing myself to sit down and grind it out for 40 hours a week at the 1/2, part of me did not want to be there.

as i became jaded and bored with the grind, my results began to suffer.

i was literally just turning off my brain and getting high and playing my C-game

missing the grind makes me put in better quality hours studying which in turn should translate in to positive results.

i want to get back to that mindset and approach i had to the game. a lot of it was just cranking away hours actively watching CLP vids. to be fair, the adderal did help my studying poker.

i think i need to focus on improving my focus. meditation should help with that. i wonder if there's any thing else i can be doing, any other resources i can utilize.

Best blog on 2+2, love the life updates


GL OP

thanks bro for the feedbaq!

$$$$$

in it to win it.

apparently my gto wizard subscription is coming to an end today. i'm still not sure how i feel about gto. but overall i feel that it's more beneficial to focus on other aspcets for Live no limit at the lower stakes.

specifically: hand reading ala flopzilla / pkrcruncher and crunch live pokie vidya. add in a good way to review hands, which i guess can only come by writing /recording hands after they happen. next session i want to really write down hands and post them here or the live low stakes nl forum.

im honestly convinced what poker success comes down to is enthusiasm. how enthusiastic you can be about the game and studying and continuing pushing through the variance. but i guess you can extend that enthusiasm toward life to find success as well. ( i worded that poorly)

Maybe i should just set aside 25-30 weeks toward poker total. part of those 30 hours will be stuedy, part will be grind. the ratio will fluctuate as to how well im running/playing. problem is i change my mind so often.

after a session of getting curb checked by the deck the last thing i want to do is study poker. when i was on my a-game 2 months ago i was enthusiastic about going to sleep watching a crunch life pokker vid. now it's a chore to pick up the ipad and turn it on. this enthusiasm can be directly translated into my win rate.

the weeds not helping. but does it ever? maybe to bring me back to baseline. and curb my craziness a bit.

perhaps if im going to continue hitting THC everyday i should go back to vaping instead of smoking flower. the high from the vape is lighter; it's also a lot more convenient. that may be the play. my bro showed me how to convert shatter to wax and stick it in a vape pen. so a gram is like 20$ but that is like 90% thc and lasts wayyyy longer.

crypto
pretty sure the low is in. still got 4k stuck in some **** called "reu coin" that was all about environmentally friendly btc mining. they were paying wbtc deposits from transaction taxes but stopped. i tried unloading my reu coin but uniswap loses like 98% of the value if i try to sell for some reason?

was thinking i got scammed but then i came to the idea that they are just waiting for BTC to be higher because at the current price the miners will be losing money. they have a telegram but they banned me for asking questions (bearish af). at one point i held 1% of all reu in circulation.

at this point im bullish on almost everything: btc, eth, link, gns. ive held all in the past except gns, which is on polyglon network. on the gns app you can buy, sell, trade, short, long cryptos and stocks and forex and what-not.

GNS is at $4 right now.

ive been in crypto for a looong time and have made some pretty good picks, but held too long. in the past year i held dobo and cyop. both catapulted my bankroll into the 6 figures, but i forgot to cash out

the next bull run im not falling for the hodl meme. i will take profit!!!!!!!!

hotel working some shifts next week. should be a busy month with the holidays coming, im ready for hours since im the resident 1/2 donator at lone butte as of late. part of me wants to go Full time but that just destroys any outside chance of life you have. and the full timers are all ****ing miserable. #notworthit

adobe putting a lot of work into animate, about 1/4 of the way through the book. yes, most people don't like books for studying software. but i do so **** them and **** you too (jk i love you).

probably going to start the adobe premiere course soon, even before im done with animate, as premiere (video editing) will be my bread and butter and is in much higher demand.

with said skills i want to freelance for $$ and create my own content for fun and (maybe) profit. i think ill get adobe certified in animate and premiere and maybe after effects. then and only then will i finally get the respect i deserve.

gem coming close the end of an anavar cycle, but haven't been to the gym in a few days now cant wait for the sickness to be over. going to cruise Test for a few months and then cycle something else. maybe tren or anadrol. roids are just so much better than any other drug. im more about feeling good and the energy aspect, having the body of a greek god is just a side effect.

got some super mass gainer protein coming in soon so will be able to gain weight easier. i'm a pretty hard gainer. weigh about 171 now, at about 5'11. eating is a chore for me.

hose dont really care. there's a near infinte supply of 6's in their 30's. im just looking for the 8 that's healthy and wholesome and wants babby. my whole financial situation (or lack thereof) works against me. ive got a lot going on aside the fact that im mid-late 30's and currently living with my parents.

luckily id rather be alone than settle for some miserable female. i know how to screen these girls hard AF.

major red flags when meeting girls:
-crying on the first or second date
-inability to handle emotions, whether highs or lows
-doesn't have hobbies or interests outside of buying ****/consuming, drinking alcohol, travel.... for cereal dudes. if she can't name one (1) hobby it's a major red flag!!!!
-cannot take banter/ light **** talk. (for me anyway). if she takes everything super duper seriously and is one of those that go out of their way to act offended, F that noise.
-amoral, lack of religion (for me anyway) i honestly think most females who are not religious are just a gonner. like not even salvageable. sure they will suffice for some slam-pigging or pump and dump, but as the great philosopher once said (socrates or epictetus, i dont remember) "you can't make a hoe a housewife"
-if she's open sexually, but makes you wait for it. if she's had one night stands but won't put out for you until the fifth date, that's a yikes from me dawg. she's framing you as a provider. don't tolerate that ****!

i have a few other red flags but those come to mind and are somewhat universal.

i think that's all for now. been good on my routine, except for the gym the past few days and pushing my comfort zone in social situations.