yeah here it's strictly illegal but largely no one cares if there's a game or two running. a larger room will attract attention and get you shut down pretty quickly

bars are closed as well as indoor dining but they gave restaurants temporary sidewalk permits and you can eat outside

many people still work remotely, I assume it will not be 100% back to normal here until after the vaccine comes out

Big update: I found an invite to an underground 1/2/5 PLO game on Thursday nights.

Now, working to find someone I can trust to keep Malakai safe while I play.

I’m excited, between having to put poker on the back burner so I could focus on finishing everything for my case, to changing jobs and working in a city an hour away from where I lived, then COVID, then moving amid COVID, navigating the financial burden all of this put on me as a single mom, and ultimately crushing everything life has thrown at me. It feels good, I feel like I’m in a great headspace to play again too so the timing is perfect honestly.

I am starting to figure out where my free time is and how to transition into having more of it dedicated to playing. I know from my past playing for a living, that if I have the ability to be more balanced in life when I play, it takes a load of stress off of playing.

I don’t know if I’ll be full time playing again like I did while my son was in foster care, but I will hopefully be able to put in enough hours to pad my income a bit and make life a bit easier. Also, I do have enough financial stability to lose, and it not effect my bills or lifestyle, which is gonna be for the first time in my life

It’s crazy to think about where I was 5 years ago when I started this blog. I turned 28 on July 16th, and I was 22 when I started this thread to document my poker journey. It’s been quite the experience, and throughout it I have learned that it’s important to take care of yourself and your life outside of poker.

For those of you who have followed from the beginning, and even those who predicted the worst, I’m as surprised as anyone that I’ve made it this far. I wanted to have my life together, and I actually do :P

Anyway, hand history’s are on the way! I’m hoping to make the game next Thursday, so we will see what plays out! Gl to all in life and on the felt <3

Good luck! Try to play your A-game and don't sweat the results or your mistakes too much.

Ok guys, so I am off of work Thursday to take care of switching to a new daycare. This affords next the opportunity to go to the PLO game at the start, which is 3pm. I secured a seat at the game start for this week.

I did go last week, but I didn’t get there until like 10pm, and had to wait til 11:30 to play, but had to leave at midnight to get home to let the baby sitter go. The table had like $100k+ on it, everyone was super deep and I was only prepared for a $400 buy in, so I sat down with $400 just to be able to get a feel for the game, tried to see a few flops but it was like $150-$200 PF every hand and the hands I called $20-$25 with couldn’t see a flop for my whole stack. I figured it’d be like that before I sat down since I watched a bit before I did.

I was told the game starts smaller, and it’s more normal early, so I’m gonna go again this week and hope it’s more playable for me. I don’t think any of these players have much of an edge aside from their stack size from what I saw, so I’m hopeful!

I’m pretty confident about this being the game I go to every week to get back into playing. I‘ was planning on dropping to dealing only 4 days for my mental health so this will fit in well. I’m in a good place, and my mental game is on point, so life is good

Just wait for AAxx and a few other premium hands, then rip it in pre?

PLO is a variance train anyway, sounds like you could try to double up twice and then play normally.

Well in that spot I was actually looking for rundowns, when I think of ideal premiums to withstand 3-4 player multi-way pots, I really don’t normally look for AAxx, still really selective about if my AAxx will have more than just a pair by the river But when I saw how deep it was, I figured I’d attempt to see a flop and if I picked up any decent amount of equity then I would ship. It was deep enough that if I were to get my stack in, it was an easy 3x-4x+ sitting in with $400 :P

I figured, even if I couldn’t play much, I’d observe, learn a bit about how the game played and watch the players to get a feel for them as well. I also haven’t been to a game in a looooong time, and it’s been since like October since I’ve been able to find a good PLO game. Honestly I think I was just so happy to be at a PLO game that it was a win regardless of the money

I am excited to see how this game plays to get so big in just a few hours, almost guaranteed to get some good HH even if not mine

Man so I just got home from the PLO game. I have a couple HH, but I’m gonna sleep off the last hand before I get into posting them.

It was a rough one tonight but we’re gonna regroup and study until we get back on the table next week hopefully to try again.

At the very least, I really enjoy the people at the game and I had fun regardless. be back later with the rest!

Lol well I know it’s been a few weeks and I didn’t ever post the HH, and I did go back last week, and gonna go again tonight. Tonight the game is gonna be 5/5 Big O(5card hi/lo) & PLO, round of each. Other games have all just been 5/5 PLO (4 Card hi)

This is the note I have for the session I mentioned last post:



It’s worth it to mention that the first hand was a hand played early, then I went card dead and the second hand was like 4-5hrs later. I was in for $600 overall, bought in for $400 and added on $200 when I was down to $200, then I just didn’t really go anywhere.

We did a $100 PLO race horse, I did not win and only had $80, got it in with like 4578hhxx and tripled, then won one other hand right before I got stacked.

Anyway, last week I cashed out $225 in profit, $100 of it was from winning a $25 PLO racehorse lol but the other $125 I won lol I flopped a nice wrap in one, hammered a set of Aces with AAT2sscc on a ddc flop in another. Only had time to play like 2 hours so unfortunately it wasn’t a real session, only like half a session

This time I should have from like 6:30pm-10:30, so not super long but a little more time.

I’ll say, these last few weeks have been crazy. Lots of stuff going on, and I’m actually still settling into San Antonio.

I absolutely love this city, it’s so beautiful. I live downtown a block from a river walk and park. Went to the Splashtown here last weekend which was fun. Malakai loved it and had so much fun in the wave pool and on the slides!

I’m still dealing, but I’m now only dealing at SA 4 days and like 30hrs. I am taking time to focus on my health, and use the extra time to focus on exercise and mental health.

I’m also working on some other stuff to create more content and to share more writing with the world. I have a lot of ideas, and am having fun with it too

I’m really happy with starting back to play with just one day a week, it’ll keep me from getting burned out too fast. I’m hoping if I start back slow, I won’t burnout and I’ll also be able to get back into my playing groove as it all comes back to me.

All in all, from page one to now, I think I’m pretty damn proud of myself. I never really thought my poker journey would look like this, but also never expected the kid part to come into play. I’m grateful he did, I think this is more of a scenic route poker journey than usual, but I don’t mind. My goal is to play at least once a week, and to get to know this game well while I also do a kickass job at mommin my kid. #SanityGoals

first hand confuses me a lot, did you fold 2nd nuts to no action or is there a typo somewhere?

Honestly those HH are crap and we’re only meant as notes I intended to go back through and edit, but if I’m honest I’ll have to think on the hand to remember the hand history. I didn’t fold to no action though, it looks like I checked and then folded to a late position bet on the river. I’m not sure why, I think I played that hand pretty bad to be honest, bc looking at the HH, I shouldn’t be afraid of any hands on the river so if anything is a typo I think the river made the flush and is supposed to be a spade. Point is, obviously if I’m gonna share HH I should make it more clear when I write it down.

Honestly I have a hard time remembering hand history past a day or so, I think once I digest the way I play the hand it kinda just fades away. So if it comes back to me what happened in that hand exactly I’ll update it but I just left it as it was in my notes and posted the screenshot lol

Always keep your head up. You’ve navigated a lot more adversity than many people could handle. You should reward yourself more. When something positive happens, give yourself some credit however you’d like. Any positive reinforcement is good. When something negative happens, understand you’re doing your best, learn, and chalk it up to variance.

Good luck. It seems like you’ve come a long way in 5 years. Respect.

Unfortunately, this past Thursday I waited 4 hours but never got a chance to play before I had to head home.

Today I got off early, so I figured I would check out the Big O that runs at the same place on Mondays, but I got called back into work right as I was about to park.

I’m starting to find more opportunities to play, and I think if I go check out some of the games around I’ll be able to find something. I’ve heard that the Alamo runs PLO more than the other rooms, but to be honest, I’ve only been to my poker room in San Antonio, so there’s obviously plenty to explore.

On a side note, I’ve decided that I definitely want to have some kind of business that’s my own, to contribute to my income without having to rely on anything to do it. I’ve taken a particular interest in e-commerce paired with blogging, feels like a good fit for me and my lifestyle/hobbies.

I guess the part where I’m getting stumped is figuring out what my “niche” is. I write all kinds of things, but I’m sure there is a “theme” amongst the things I write. I guess I’m just trying to figure out what that is, so I can focus in on and build around that so there is a consistency in my content. I don’t however, want that “niche” to be so restrictive that I squelch my opportunity to pursue that omnipresent dream of mine to be a motivational writer/speaker (a bit shy on the speaking part but I’m hoping to work towards that part)

Anyway, any “reads” on my writing “niche” would be much appreciated

I appreciate this so much

Plot -Twist:

I quit my job at the card house Friday, yesterday but still kinda now.

It’s been weeks in the making unfortunately, and although I went through all possible reconciliation routes before I walked away, our issues weren’t able to be fixed or managed in a way that I agreed I deserved.

Due to the nature of my job, and this blog, I won’t be posting details as the last time I did that, one of my dear fans sent the post to my previous employer and instigated a whole slew of drama that resulted in me losing several people I considered close friends and cared for. Down side to the blog there is, go figure lol

Anyway, this gives me tons of time and I’m probably gonna hop underground and get back to the felt front the player side more

Very good chance I just find my way into playing full time, I’ve been feeling like I’m ready to go back to it.

The passion I had for this game 8 years ago when I started is so far above where my passion for it is now. But now is better than it was 10 months ago. I feel like ever since I’ve had my kid, I’ve been to risk averse to do what I think I did pretty well in the past even though I was trashed all the time in the beginning, I was an even better player when I got sober.

I’ve been going through so much really, this move was heavier on Malakai than I thought it would be, and he also had to switch daycares bc covid closed his. The move kinda triggered a snowball event, that when I think back to what I was thinking about during quarantine, I already knew this was coming.

Not sure how much I’ve expressed this in my thread, but I’ve developed a strong relationship with God (higher power, universe) and while in rest, for the first time in my life, I think I knew to use the down time to prepare for the life storm that was sure to come after. As life ebbs and flows through both good and bad, up and down, we experience all experiences. Lao Tzu said, there are 10,000 things to experience, and we are here to experience them all. Yin and yang are joined in a celebration of chaos and order, where they exist in a balanced harmony. Nothing in life is necessary good or bad, all things lead to more things. Some good things need bad things to happen in order to cause a good thing to happen, and the other way around is relevant too.

Essentially, I am in a time of pivot in my life and I’m hoping it brings me back to being able to play full tome again. I’m hoping that this is the end of bad managers and toxic environments while working for someone else and enable to change it.

I’m just gonna say. If you think women in poker get treated bad, that is nothing compared to what I have dealt with as a female dealer. Which just makes what the poker players deal with even more pronounced to me, and the lack of respect towards women as a whole in the poker industry is honestly sickening from this perspective. I’m sure I’ve not had the worst of it, but what I have been through, has been absurd and no “human” should have to experience it.

Will give updates as it gets moving, might just sleep for a whole week to be honest and just recoup all the brain cells I’ve cried out over the last few weeks -_-

I’m good though y’all, happy as can be and relieved and have had a huge weight lifted. God was pushing me in another direction, so I’m gonna stop fighting it. I’m gonna embrace it and flow with wherever life takes me next.

It’s taken me this far: and it keeps getting better so I’m in obv

Truly remarkable journey here

GLGLGL in the upcoming grind!

Have a nice day

Subbed, gl OP

It’s unacceptable, but don’t take what any of those scumbags say to you personally.

They arrested the Sheriff of Williamson County for tampering with the evidence of his department's murdering Gator.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/28/u...iff-taser.html

So much to say and yet there are no words to express what I feel from this. There is no happy ending to his story. Rest In Peace my friend

Every single time I get in the car, I pray to get to my destination with my son, safe and unharmed. I thank God for protecting me and my child. And I have never felt more protected than I do today.

Yesterday as I was about to park after getting Malakai from daycare, my tires locked up as I was going in reverse. So I Changed it to forward, but after a few feet the front wheels locked. As I put it in park, the brake pedal went all the way to the floor and the brake light came on. I get out and I’m looking under the car and as I come back to the drivers front tire I see liquid pooling, I look on the inside of the wheel and sure enough there is fluid pouring out of the inside tire, I check the fluid with a napkin, and sure enough it’s brake fluid.

My brake line blew. As I realize this, I also realize that had I of stopped for food, or to grab my check before heading home, I wouldn’t have made it home. I’d of lost my brakes on the highway, and that thought rocks me to my core. I was so grateful, I couldn’t stop crying. I know it wasn’t an actual accident, but the surreal feeling of narrowly escaping what could have most definitely been deadly is indescribable. And after the last few weeks, it was emotionally overwhelming to say the least.

So I call my roadside assistance through progressive at 7pm and proceed to have the most horrendous experience ever getting a tow. The representatives kept putting in the wrong information, and canceling the service requests and resending them. I was give ETAs of 23,60, and 90 minutes. This went on from 7pm until finally I gave up at 1am. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had 3 people blocked in and one of them had tried to help me move the car, but the leaking wheel was locked.

When the tow did finally show up, at 1:15am, I was so happy it was almost over. As he pulled the car onto the truck, the front tire sounded like something was stuck, it eventually was dislodged as the car was pulled and started moving again. He dropped in a parking spot and I finally fell asleep at 2:30am. I had been awake since 7am, so I was beyond exhausted.

So here we are today. I am in the toughest position I have been in since before cps was in my life. I am going through more than I care to post, as I’m working through it and trying to heal. As I’ve said before, I felt like I was in a super fragile emotional state and have been genuinely waiting for my brain to start telling me that I’m useless and don’t deserve to be here.

But here’s the craziest part of it all: I’m not actually falling apart. I was able to get through yesterday’s test with my emotional wits about me for the most part, I was respectful and instead of lashing out because of how I felt, I told them how I was feeling in a responsible way.

Today feels... empty. I’ve cried so much over the last few days, I’m surprised I even still have tears left. I feel defeated, overwhelmed, anxious, and exhausted. I’ve put so much energy into making other people happy, that I forgot to take care of myself. So I know it’s just all catching up to me.

Despite all the negativity threatening my sanity. Despite feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, and despite the overwhelming urge to run away from it all.. despite ALL of that, I have a strength inside me that overpowers all of it. I have God watching over me. I have God bringing in my life everything I need to be there for my son and myself. I have friends who support me, a father who loves me, and a son who adores me.

I am stronger with them than I am alone. And I know, I am never alone. Not alone in what I’m going through, and not alone in how I think or feel. And even though literally everything feels like it’s falling apart, I know God will use this for good in my life. I trust God with my life more than I trust roadside assistance to tow my truck 30ft and that says a lot

I just want whoever made it to the end of this to know that I love you. And if you’re struggling with something, just know you DO have the strength to get through it and grow from it. And even if you don’t know God, he loves you all the same.

#GodBless #StaySafe #GodInMyLife

Hey guys, so yesterday was a big day for me.

After my car broke down Friday, I got a bit depressed. I had been trying to find a new car for the last couple weeks bc I just had a feeling it wasn’t gonna make it much longer, but didn’t know it was gonna happen so soon that it brake down completely.

So over the weekend I did double time looking for one to accept my lack of credit history, and found someone who did in house financing for me and I drove my new to me used car off the lot. My credit immediately went up 15 points, and even though it’ll be rough to make up footing to get all the payments I’ve arranged in over the next few weeks, I 100% believe that I will be able to do it.

It’s so crazy how ever since I really started living right, honestly, respectfully and with boundaries for both myself and others, that when bad stuff happens it’s no longer driving me into a pit of inescapable depression.

I still catch what I like to think of as a ‘depression cold’, and I’ve stopped identifying with it as a part of me. It has helped significantly to accept when I am overwhelmed and down because of things not going the way I want them to, for excruciatingly long amounts of time sometimes. It allows me to separate myself, and who I truly am, from the emotions my brain chemically induces.

Obviously none of this is going how I thought it would, but, I am still working towards the same goals. Regardless of any hiccups, I know I’ve been through worse than this and it will pass.

Life is a balance of chaos and order, yin and yang, up and down. The only way I’ve found to thrive in happiness no matter what happens around me is to accept this natural balance. To embrace it. To embrace Gods plan for my life. He has kept me alive this far

you're doing amazing, the transformation from a lost and confused girl to a strong and an independent woman that you are right now is nothing short of miraculous

Thank you! I’m always trying, and although I do certainly still have my own shortcomings, I’ll always keep trying. It’s in my blood to discover the secrets to creating my own happiness after being guided in such poor fashion as a young child

Currently I’m having reconsideration about what I want to invest in for the future of my career. It feels like I’m reaching a point where poker has become more of a recreational passion than one I want to commit to solely for income. I’m trying to figure out how I can pursue my passion for writing, while including poker and all my stories along with having additional time at my best for my kid. I’m not sure what’s going on in my head, but I’ve been re-evaluating where I want to be and go in the next 10 years, and I’m itching to do something that impacts people and makes their lives better while also doing the same for my own family. I’m honestly stumped.

Soooo, I’ll be on the Poker Fraud Alert podcast this Friday, and will be talking about poker in Texas as well as talking about some of the stuff I’ve been through over the years! I’ve been told it’ll be late night, not definitive on an exact time as of yet, tbd

A whole lot has happened in the past couple months, and I am blissfully happy in the best kind of way. I’m currently at Alamo Card House, and was asked this past week to help as the marketing director It’s super cool because these guys are great, so I am excited to put all the skills I’ve been learning over the last decade to use and help them build! They recently changed ownership, and even more recent (last week) have changed management.

Everything kind of fell apart there in my life for a few weeks, at least it felt that way

But, everything has settled and the storm left me with a new car and a bunch of new people in my life who came out of freaking no where to help me through a super hard time. Just in time for me to be excited about Christmas for the first time in forever lol This will be the first year Kai will be able to fully enjoy the experience, and I’ve already started hiding toys in the closet!

Congrats on the promotion! Thats awesome.
Looking forward to the podcast.

Oh yea, there’s a good 2 hours of me rambling going in the archives of the Poker fraud alert podcast :P

Was a super long day, and a super long talk but I think it was the best one of them all!

I just found out that this one, and the other 2, are on the PFA Spotify too, so in case you want to time travel to the beginning of my story since my memory was pretty spotty, it’s mostly summed up in the interviews that are easily listened to