So happy for you. You deserve to be with your child and you're going to do an amazing job of raising him.

You might reconsider filing. You can do it online here:

https://twc.texas.gov/jobseekers/how...xas-payday-law

There's 180 day cutoff date as to when you can submit a claim. I know some people who have done this, and the government was pretty aggressive in collecting their money.

Apparently someone who saw the post that i have had removed sent it to my previous employer. I’ve since been told to **** off and told that I made up the hours.

Funny thing is, I have an entire text thread of all the requests that were made of me, and the text that states “I hired you to fix the books”. The work I was doing and I did not get paid for.

It’s crazy how somehow I’m wrong for posting about how I did work that was asked of me and didn’t get paid for it.

It’s crazy how it’s being handled.

At this point I don’t care. I’ve moved on from the job. I tried to help, but it is what it is. If they want to act like I was a horrible employee, then so be it. If they want to turn on me, then so be it. If they don’t understand how important what I was doing was, then that’s on them. If the other employees don’t think it’ll happen to them, I pray they’re right.

I’m in a better place now, and happy where I’m at. I’m not gonna let it get to me. I know the truth, and the people who aren’t directly involved don’t, and don’t want to, so they don’t have to.

God bless.

With everything going on in my life, I have been so overwhelmed. Changing jobs and having my son come home all at the same time is not something I expected, and it has really taken me to a desperate place emotionally. I’ve been exhausted making up for time to work and also jump through all the hoops I have to in order for CPS to let my son come home.

He’s in the process of transitioning home. I’ve worked every day for the last two weeks, driving an hour to and from San Antonio every day, barely sleeping. I can’t say I’ve been my best self. I’ve just been trying to hold it together, and it’s been hard.

Last week I made a post about my previous employer out of frustration and anger. At the time I was upset, I felt taken advantage of and abandoned. I didn’t understand what I had done for everything to happen the way it was happening, and needed a place to vent. I’ve always felt that this blog was a safe place for me, and after I made the post, I didn’t even remember what I had posted in it, not thinking about the consequences of the things I had said.

I want to make it clear, although things did not end well between myself and the card room I was working in, I still wish them success. I was dedicated to helping them thrive and helping everyone who worked there in every way I could think to help.

I was upset that i was discarded without explanation after I put so much effort into fixing things, and putting so many hours into helping the business grow and be stable, and did any and everything that was asked of me by my boss on and off the clock. Even if no one there understands the work I was doing, I was doing a lot of paperwork to help protect the business in the long run. I did much of it without expecting anything aside from appreciation in return. I was upset that I made sacrifices to help the business when those sacrifices hurt me at the end of it all.

Sharing the information I shared was not right, regardless of how upset I was or what was done to me, and I acknowledge that. I had no intentions of trying to harm ATX, or anyone who works there. I wouldn’t have done all the extra work I did if I didn’t care about the people who were there.

If they forever think the worst of me for what I said, then I would understand. I can’t go back and change what I said, and I can’t change the consequences of my actions. All I can do is hope they forgive me, and let everyone know that I have no bad feelings towards ATX, or the people who work there.

Even with everything that’s happened, ATX Card House is still my favorite room in Austin TX, and is still in the #1 spot for card rooms to play at. I hope they continue to grow and prosper, and wish them nothing but the best.

Wow, first of all very sorry that someone shared the post. But second, major props to you fir showing such grace in what you just write. It’s really tough when people don’t understand when you are working behind the scenes to help and it can be very disheartening. But blessings in your new job. And I know I don’t speak for myself on this forum when I say THATS ANAZING THAT YOUR SON IS COMING HOME. There will be times it is overwhelming, and you might want to go back to old patterns, but the person I’ve learned to know and care for on this blog is a survivor, a warrior, and a great mom. Remember that. And know that we are here.

Thank you so much for your support You pretty much nailed how I feel, and I appreciate you understanding, I really needed this

It’s official. After the removal of my son on June 14th 2018, he is now home. Signed the paperwork for a return and monitor this morning, and had a permanency conference this afternoon with everyone involved in my case.

I can’t even explain the happiness I have right now.

I have been my worst, and best self over these last 8 months. And for those who have been following my story for the last 5 years or so know how up and down my life has been.

This is a whole new chapter in my life. My son will be 2 years old on the 2nd, and to have him home with me for his birthday has been my goal, and I am so proud of myself for getting through this and proving to not only CPS, but to myself, that I deserve to care for my son.

I have been to extremely dark places over this period. There were many times I beat myself up for not getting to where I want to be fast enough, but in doing so I’ve neglected to really look at how far I’ve come.

When CPS first took my son I was fairly unstable, emotionally and financially. I was drowning in responsibility and had a severe lack of support. The PTSD from my sons father abusing me was horrid, causing daily flashbacks and panic attacks. I couldn’t sleep and was working myself playing over time along with working full time in order to make ends meet. It really took its toll on my overall well-being.

My health was suffering. I was 110 lbs soaking wet, couldn’t eat without getting sick, and was barely holding it together as a single mom.

Right now, I’m looking at a stable income, stable housing with the lease in my name, and a therapist that has been teaching me how to change the thought patterns I’ve become so accustomed to over the years due to chronic untreated trauma.

I am not perfect, but I am the healthiest I have been in my entire life right now.

I am able to maintain my weight which is now closer to 125lbs, I eat healthier, sleep better, and am a lot more emotionally stable than I have ever been. I have gone to the doctors for my health issues, and am now taking medication to help with chronic gastritis and a folic acid deficiency caused by 15+ years of an eating disorder. This has improved my mindset in and of itself immensely.

I still have episodes of flashbacks, but they don’t last near as long as they did in the past. Now I’m able to bring myself back to reality.

I’ve become more supportive and understanding of myself, and have curtailed the “all or nothing” thinking that has destroyed my self-esteem in the past so I am better able to maintain a level overall state of mind.

I don’t think that I would have been able to do everything I’ve done if it weren’t for devoting myself to developing a healthy relationship with God. I have had a spiritual uplifting through listening to Joyce Meyers on a daily basis for months now. She has been a lifesaver.

Next in my story is going to be getting through this year until August when I can end my current lease in South Austin and move to San Antonio. I’ll have to make the commute and take Malakai along with me, and should be scheduled to work days for the first time in years.

As for poker, I’ve been playing online a little bit, but mostly just in a study phase since I don’t have the funds nor the time to dedicate to live at the moment. My hope, is that once my CPS case is closed and I have a bit more wiggle room in the time/finances department, I can slowly ease myself back into playing. Most likely I will limit myself to playing once a week until I have a substantial amount of money saved to the point where I could give up some dealing hours in order to play.

I mostly deal Big O, so if anything, I’m going to come out with a whole new set of skills when I get back to playing! I will say, it’s interesting that I feel I’ve reached the point in playing PLO Cash almost exclusively that playing NLH is a wholly different beast and I’ve been having a hard time adjusting to 2 cards when I do play them. So, quite obviously, I have a lot of work to do. I’ve retained my ability to play in NLH tournaments, but we all know cash games are much different. Any advice to a good approach for relearning Holdem with a PLO mindset is welcome lol

I’m crying for joy that your son is home. Prayers. You did it-you and God.

Give to the poor. Then tell no one and let no one know about it if you can help it. = $$$Profit$$$

This is something I do regularly, and many times these people will pray for me. I have also had people who were begging pray for me when I tell them that I can’t during times I am struggling and the passion I have received from strangers has been extremely rewarding. On days I feel the worst, I give the most, go out of my way to find people to help so I can stop thinking about my own struggle, at least for a bit. I don’t share when I give, it’s not something I think is to be shared with anyone aside from me and the other person. When I started keeping it to myself, it started to have more meaning for me since I knew in my heart it wasn’t for praise or recognition.

So I agree, your statement couldn’t be more on point

It’s crazy, I have found myself just balling from the happiness I feel with my son being home. Several times a day, I just think about how far I’ve come and how grateful I am that he’s home, and the sheer joy I feel with him home is overwhelming.

I have found myself being more aware of all the things I had taken for granted before he was taken from me.

To all the parents out there, I will tell you this: no matter how hard it is, no matter how tired or stressed you are with your kids, to have them with you is something beyond being blessed. For me, I am so happy to have all the struggles I have with him, the lack of sleep, the constant need for my attention, the tantrums and all. Because when my house was quite, and I was alone with just my thoughts, he was all I wanted, and everything I missed. He is a part of my soul, and without my child I was empty in a way I never want to be again.

Thank you all for your support, it’s been amazing and you are all amazing for seeing me through this

great to hear that your son is back with you and you're in a much better place now, good job!

This is beautiful. You know what I see in you is someone who took the hard times and has decided to take these times and experiences and grow stronger. AND to use those experiences to encourage others, like here where you remind parents to treasure the time they might take for granted. That’s incredible. I just want to encourage you that even when it is hard, which you and I know it will be, don’t lose heart, don’t lose this amazing insight into yourself, your worth, and how much you love yourself and your son. Again, we are cheering you on. You are a Warrior.

Learning and growing from all the mistakes, and struggles I have has been my number 1 ambition for most of my life. I think it’s my biggest strength, and as a strength it gives purpose to my weakness.

I have always wanted to share my story with others, and have always wanted my ability to overcome my issues to be an inspiration for others to overcome the things they’ve gone through or are going through.

When I was younger my mother use to say that she wanted me to learn from her mistakes, but the one thing she never did was learn from her own mistakes so I went through a lot of stuff without having any idea how to get through it or avoid it.

It took me a very long time to learn that a lot of people go through the same stuff I’ve been through, and maybe not all of it or in the same way, but certainly there are people out there who are going through parts of what I have.

The biggest reason I’ve had this thread for so long is because I’ve had many people reach out to me and thank me for my honesty and openness, as you have, and many people who have said that my strength and persistence in growing and bettering myself has given them hope. The fact that these experiences I am going through help other people is why I keep coming back.

I’ve had this blog used against me many times, been told that I should delete it because of what people might think, and I’ve always chosen to keep it.

Some people might see this as a vulnerability, something that will come back to haunt me, but I see it completely differently. I see this being a story of how someone completely lost, became someone unbelievably strong.

With every new chapter of my story, I am growing and learning. And being able to share that, and leave the opportunity for someone who might feel as lost as I do sometimes be able to see that they’re not alone has more meaning than words have the ability to explain.

Having a place for people like you to reach out and encourage me has been a huge blessing. I’m so grateful for your kindness It’s been very much needed recently, especially since this transition has been super stressful, it feels like I don’t have enough time for anything and I’ve felt like I’m running behind and not doing everything that I need to, but am also realizing that I have set the expectations for myself way to high, and am doing my best to be proud of how well I “am” doing, and just continuing to do the best I can.

This is a post I made a bit ago on FB:

First and foremost , I’ve been so happy since Malakai has come home, and I’m determined to do everything I can to make our lives as stable and joyful as possible.

But I’ll be honest, adjusting to having Malakai come back home has been super overwhelming and stressful.

As you all know, I’m a single mom. What you may not know is that I have no family support, and my son has never met his father or had any financial support from him. It’s a long story, but the point is, I have very little outside help.

I’m under strict requirements for my work schedule due to CASA, CPS, Ad Litem and daycare restrictions. It’s been a juggling act just to be able to balance the travel time to work, getting Malakai ready before and putting him to bed after. Getting enough sleep myself, while also having to take care of his health needs which right now are several doctors and a bunch of medication to help figure out why he keeps getting so sick.

He started running a fever at daycare on Friday, so I had to leave work to bring him home. The fever didn’t break until late last night, so I also missed work yesterday. I’m gonna be working overtime this coming week to make up for the lost hours, which I’m beyond grateful that I’m able to do so, but it’s gonna be a long week.

I have to say that even though I have a lot of stress and that this adjustment has been hard, I’m proud of myself for being able to do it. I feel like sometimes I don’t give myself enough credit for how much I have been able to do and for how far I’ve come. I was blessed to have Malakai come home after only 8.5 months in foster care, which is significantly less time than most CPS cases.

I am trusting God to help me get through this every step of the way, and have never had such a strong bond with my faith as I do now.

When it comes down to it, even though this has been difficult, it has been amazing all the same. I may not have the traditional support system, but there are many people in my life who have been there for me through this entire experience, and people who have helped me succeed when I felt like I was failing. People who let me know that even though everything isn’t “perfect”, I’m still doing great and am growing and learning how to be better with every trial and every test.

For the first time in my life, I can say that even though I have worries, I know that everything will work out and everything will be ok, and I truly believe that.

————————————————

And a lot of the confidence and peace I have comes from the support you guys have given me here

I can’t wait until everything smooths out and I am able to play poker again. Right now though I’m perfectly happy focusing on Malakai and getting our stuff straightened out and stable.

I have court at the end of the month on the 31st. There is a good chance that my case will be closed then if I have everything taken care of by then, but the case isn’t set to be closed until June. They can close it at any time, and I’m hoping it’ll be closed before June just so I can have the peace of mind. Until then, I’m using the support I have from them as much as possible. I never thought I would say that I appreciate the support from CPS, but with everything coming to an end, I am going to make sure to get the most out of this so I can be in the best position possible when my case does close.

Here’s to the ending of one chapter, and the start of a new one

So today I forgot I was off work.

I drove to San Antonio and dropped Malakai off at daycare and got to work before I realized it.

Now I’m sitting in the parking lot of SA card house trying to figure out how I’m going to handle this in the future since I’ll have to pay an hourly rate to have Malakai in daycare on Saturday now since full time only covers 5 days.

Oh, and I also found out that the daycare is closed on Sunday, so I have to give up my Sunday shift which was meant to make up for the 2 days I missed last week.

I feel so silly.

I’m also wanting to go in and play poker since I’m off and Malakai is gonna be at daycare all day anyway.

I also want to take a nap.

I’m also gonna need to take a minute to breathe and bring myself down from this massive panic attack I’m having from feeling like a complete dumbass.

To be continued

Played for like an hour. Ran QQ into KK, lost min.. only had a bunch of k5o/J5o like hands rest of time so took a loss and cashed out down $135. Eh. Guess it’s just one of those days.

Someone just changed lanes into the back end of my car on 35 on my way to work. From the area they hit, the entire front of my car had to of been visible, so they 100% weren’t paying attention. There wasn’t an exit to immediately get off, and I was in the middle lane when hit and wasn’t able to get off for a little over a mile. When I looked in my rear view mirror, the car that hit me fell back behind a big truck and disappeared.

Obviously my son was in the car. Luckily I have a big enough vehicle to withstand such an incident, and has enough experience with driving that I was able to maintain my composure and control of the vehicle to minimize the severity of the incident.

Thank ****ing God this is all that happened.



I am running like **** all around in life right now. I’m trying to stay positive, I really am but **** it’s really starting to get to me.

When it rains it pours and I got a flash flood happening to me right now.

On another-ish note:
A dealer said apparently one of the players in our card room has a son that is being tested for the coronavirus. As y’all know, I work in San Antonio and the card room is located not 15 miles from the place all those people were quarantined and then released. Trying to remain calm, but with the fact that we are under some serious protocols in Austin and San Antonio due to the virus, I’m starting to be concerned about how this is going to ply out. Really no way of knowing, just keeping up with the news and praying for the best.

Renters insurance lapsed unknowingly to me because I got a new debit cars and thought it was through the routing number and never got the notification because my email was magically removed from the account. Got charged by my complex and the insurance company because of it.

Was almost ran off the road again this morning, avoided this one because i was paranoid about getting hit after yesterday.

Running so bad I’m also getting the **** end of dealer pushes and new tables, in a 9 hour shift yesterday I made $50 in tips, half what I usually make.

I feel like I am running ungodly right now in life and I don’t understand it.

With everything that’s happened over the last two weeks, it’s like one thing after another, like the universe is trying to kill me and if it can’t, destroying everything else.

Been trying to keep my head up, but I’ve been balling like a baby all day, just feel like this has been too much, it’s just so much. I don’t understand why it’s so bad

It may or may not get better but you will, unless you let life destroy you. I will suggest to you that the universe is not a self-aware thing but there's still no such thing as randomness.

If life's been **** it's been **** for a reason. Have a good one.

Definitely not one to let life destroy me, so I’m certain I’ll get through this, although it’s wearing me down emotionally and I’ve become extremely sensitive, I’m at least aware of how extreme my emotional response is. The stress has triggered me to start having surprise panic attacks, and my eczema is a sure sign I’m overwhelmed, so I’m just trying to stay mindful right now.

I for sure feel like this is all happening for a reason, as the saying goes, it’s gonna get worse before it gets better. I’m just trying to focus on not getting lost in my feelings and trying my damnedest not to dissociate since that only ever exacerbates my suffering.

I do appreciate your input, I feel it’s necessary to sometimes have someone else help me evaluate my perspective.

I’m home from work, it was a luckily uneventful ride home I’m about to get Malakai a bath and go to bed, praying for a better tomorrow, again lol

On a side note, I wound up breaking down crying in front of my boss because I was about to push into Big O but ran into the back because it just came out of nowhere, he was extremely supportive and listened to me blurt our all of the stuff that’s been going on and that made me feel a lot better.

I think a lot of me being overwhelmed has to do with not being able to see my therapist since Malakai came home because I just haven’t had time, but I am going to make the time next week because I can’t afford to fall apart

Couldn't resist.

Hang in there. I was just about to make sure to check in with your therapist and then saw your last sentence-you read my mind!! Something to remember: be gracious with yourself. I think everyone’s anxiety and stress levels are raised right now. Just remember that you have survived so so much and Gid is with you. Will never leave you.

So yesterday was another stressful day.

I drop Malakai off at daycare and get to work, the day before I had finally asked my floor manager if there was a reason I was getting the **** end of the stick when it came to pushes and dealer rotations, he looked confused so I explained to him that I had only had 4 downs in the first 4 hours of being there the day before, and had kept getting pushed into brush after one down every time a table was added to the rotation, so even with 3 tables I kept only getting one down out of the rotation. I told him I had only made $50 because of it, and he said he had no idea and didn’t realize that was happening. So yesterday, I think he was more aware and made sure I was getting my downs. I was really grateful for that.

During my first down, my phone was called twice by the daycare. When I got out I called them back thinking something was wrong with Malakai, but what was actually wrong is that the owner had called and said Malakai was not allowed to be there for more than 5 days in any given week.

Now, on Tuesday I had posted that I had accidentally went to work on my day off. I had had a conversation with one of the staff about my options and she had said that I could bring him in on a 6th day but since the full time rate only covered 5 days, I would be able to pay hourly. The conversation about the details was mostly me asking if I could do it, and her agreeing. Since it was said on my end, and only verbally agreed to on her end, when the boss went to review the video recording of the tape, there was no proof of her saying it. So naturally, she said she never said it.

Texas state daycare licensing restrictions make it so that no child can be in the same daycare for more than 5 days. The daycare is supposed to call CPS if a parent does not come pick the child up within 1.5 hrs.
I made the argument to the owner: “ look, why would I risk my son being taken by CPS when I literally just got him back from foster care not even a month ago? Why would I drive over an hour, and take him to daycare if I had been told I couldn’t do that by the staff? I had also been told that I could bring him in on sundays, which I had the conversation with the same staff when I picked him up with a fever. I didn’t bring him in because he still had a fever until it broke Saturday night, and I kept him Sunday to be sure he was good. I only found out Tuesday that your not open on Sunday, and it is also on the information page online that you are open on Sunday.” I said “I have been told by my manager that if I call out of another shift right now that my job is on the line. I have had to call out of 5 shifts in the last two weeks, and with the virus panic, staff are calling out and staying home and we are short staffed as is. The misinformation is putting my job at risk, as well as my son being taken from me again on the table. Why, would I risk any of that had I of received accurate information? I would have found someone to cover my Saturday shift the same as I found someone to cover the Sunday shift on Tuesday. I don’t think the information was given intentionally to be misleading, but the consequences are severe for me, and I don’t think it is fair that I am to suffer for the misinformation of your employee.”

We discussed all of the things, and the boss was very empathetic and understanding. I told her I would do everything I could to find relief, and get him as soon as possible, but if I just leave I will most likely be fired. She discussed with her employees to make a flyer that has all the daycare information, so when I did finally get the all clear to leave and pick him up, it was written down on a piece of paper for me.

I went to a “grow with google” seminar a couple months ago, so I gave the owner information about claiming her google business page and how to use it since she said she’s contacted google several times to remove the hours for Sunday since they haven’t been open on Sunday for over a year.

I also was able to give my manager a run down on everything that’s been going on in my life, and explained to him how bad I’m running and that this is an abnormal situation as I am one of the most reliable people when it comes to anything, and I am usually never late and I explained once I figure all of this out with everything and it goes back to smooth sailing, I’ll be a lot less stressed.

I also broke down in front of the owner the other day, so I think at this point everyone is aware of my situation and has been extremely supportive and understanding. I have been blessed with the people I work with/for.

I also had a coworker who was playing who I talk to a lot, he gave me $80 out of the blue to cover the daycare costs yesterday. I almost cried, it was amazingly generous, and since my financial situation is up in the air with business slowing down and the lack of downs, it was a blessing I needed.

I also made the therapy appointment for Friday, and texted my therapist a general idea of where I’m at and how my thinking patters have been going back to being hard to cope with.

I have to say, that after yesterday I have a better feeling. It felt like although it was still stressful, it ended with a changing tide. The feeling was less desperation and more hope. More trust, more faithful.

I think I have managed to maintain my sanity and bear away from the spiral of negativity I felt I was going towards.

Here’s to hoping for a better day. And many more happy times on the way

You need to be better at being organized. I recommend a book like 7 Habits, or something similar. Something that focuses more on pure organizational skills, time management, and proactive damage control, and less kookiness like vision boards and the like. I've read a few, they all blend together in my mind at this point.