24 year old here who's been in poker more or less full time for 4.5 years based out of Canada. Have probably profited 125-150k or so during this time between playing live cash games then transitioning to predominantly online but have of course spent most on life and stupid investments. Mantra for life now is to not be an idiot. I also have some idea to take a year off all rec drugs (weed my vice, alcohol less so because I don't have trouble abstaining from using daily like I do when smoking weed but still -ev), we will see how this idea goes. I don't want to promise anything to myself regarding this year of sobriety because I have made a habit out of breaking promises to myself again and again over the last few years regarding substance moderation and professional discipline, and in fact I feel a little dopamine surge when I make these promises to myself, almost like I am celebrating the win before putting in any effort. I think since I started drinking around the age of 16 I haven't taken more then a month without a drink and the longest I've got without smoking pot since I got into it around 21 is probably also around a month. Currently am a few days deep and can already feel my motivation increasing steadily without having substances to turn to for dopamine so I actually have to engage in doing things to ease boredom. Utilizing all the Huberman hacks in order to make the pain of the discipline I will have to endure more easeful (example: ice baths feel like natural adderal for me). For reasons I won't get into I can't do my main grind (current main grind 500nl on internet) for the next few weeks so I'm going to spend this time reading, exercising, watching pirated courses (arg) and maybe eventually getting around to buying hand 2 note and figuring out how to actually effectively study data myself without just relying on leeching strategy extrapolations off people who are smarter and more dedicated then me.

BREAKING PROMISES EVERYWHERE

IN!!!!

Does anyone else share a degree of existential discomfort about the nature of our income as pros? Plan is to retire from the game when I have a house and maybe something like a million extra to chill off of and then go back to school fulltime to try and become quite educated in some sphere of improving human health. This is my emotional justification for having net negative impact on the world for the duration of my pokering. The title of the blog is a little misleading, it is not just about the money, I truly do enjoy the game. I think it is quite beautiful how theres many different ways to think/study the game and how it has identical mechanics as you scale up in stakes and how its this endlessly complex strategy game with endless dollars being placed in all sorts of unique circumstances. Also the freedom and limitless potential of being a poker pro is super cool and the friends I have made along the way are super awesome interesting people. I have toyed with doing a little bit of volunteer work alongside the sole gamble lifestyle to feel better about myself now but concluded that it is pretty stupid because I'm just chilling there alongside teenagers getting their volunteer hours or people getting paid minimum wage, all doing identical work and I can see they're putting in minimal effort and doing stuff like hiding in the bathroom to scroll cellphone and such. Concluded with that **** that I'll have a libertarian personal philosophy now and then become a communist later when I've "made it". Will post 6k hand samples of me winning later but thought I'd open the blog with something a bit more unique to aid the clout so can more effectively scam for 1k/h if I can swing selling most of my action for some HSNL on stars at some point

I used to feel the same, that poker players are a "net negative" contribution to the world, but it's not true. When you work on yourself and develop the skills that make you good at this game, the way you sharpen your mind and the ripple effect that has on the world around you can contribute to the upward evolution of the world just the same as a nurse or teacher, depending on the nurse or teacher. You've certainly had impatient, **** school teachers before who are behaving the equivalent of the teenagers hiding in bathroom on the job to scroll their phones and pass the time. Is that person really contributing more to the world than a fulltime 500nl grinder with a family, a polished framework for living, and enough financial stability to aid those around them if needed? How would you even measure that?

There's plenty of ways to nitpick, but my point is that you don't have to emotionally justify playing poker for a few years or for your whole life based on others' ideas about its societal value. Not everyone can be a nurse or otherwise directly/physically helping people thru their day job. Just do you, be happy, make others happy = positive contribution.

And idk about 1k/h for poker coaching but if you ever figure out the secret to keeping promises to yourself holy **** name your price and I'm in . Surely someone here will crack the code eventually.

Hey thanks for the reply man, a friend actually linked me your blog a few weeks ago which got me into reading more blogs and such and probably is a big inspiration for starting this one, plus I kind of stole your title with an sarcastic spin, wasn't trying to needle just thought it was funny. Seems like we have some similarities, I never got into hard drugs but smoking pot everyday surely was a direct cause of my relative demise as a pro from ages 22 or so till now. Also I was actually this close to joining detox a few months ago, we may have even been in the same "flight" as they called it. Trying now to emulate the same kind of approach they take to analyzing the game myself (bought H2N yesterday lol, on my first tutorials today). As for the breaking promises to yourself, there's surely no secret. Discipline is something that you earn and integrate into your being by day in day out doing the things you know should be doing and not doing the things you know you shouldn't be doing regardless of how you feel. Of course I think there is exceptions like if your gf dumps you or you just go through an unexplained depressive episode it doesn't make sense to try and engage in grinding or studying in this hindered cognitive state, but for me the big thing I've decided is not giving myself unhealthy rewards because I'm on vacation or I won 10 buyins or I lost 10 buyins etc. I believe in taking a cost/benefit analysis to almost (or maybe all) decisions in life so I try and reward or treat myself with things I know are wholesome to me. Instead of having a coke having kombutcha, instead of smoking a joint having a cup of tea or coffee and relaxing all the same. I don't want to paint a solely negative picture of weed/alcohol because I think there are people who enjoy these things so much that they supersede the negative consequences, of course given they can moderate with them, which maybe be quite troublesome actually if you sufficiently enjoy so idk what to make of that lol. For me with alcohol I honestly feel like I don't enjoy it enough to make it worth the hindered sleep and the internal damage I know is happening and for weed I enjoy it too much that I cannot not smoke every day if I allow myself have this substance in my life. Going strong on about a week of sobriety now and some annoying **** has been also happening in life at the same time and I feel proud of myself for not reaching for one of these things and also feel that I can handle the stressors better by thinking them through and effectively being more stoic. I think us smart individuals are aware of what's good and bad for us, hard part is overcoming the "limbic friction" as Huberman describes it, pushing past the impulsive part of your mind that wants this or that dopamine stimuli for the sole sake of the heightened dopamine state and not what the activity serves for your life. I notice at times in life when I am better at overcoming limbic friction I enjoy the small things more. A plate of guacamole and a blue sky can feel just blissful when you spent the day smashing your head against the wall so to speak in your grind. Cheers mate, I think your comeback story will be epic.

As for feeling good about myself I think about smart people the same way uncle ben thinks about spiderman, great power means great responsibility. Imagine if LLinus was a neurosurgeon, prob would be sick at it. Lol, anyways not knocking him or any of us, we're doing the thing we love and thats great and maybe there is no other way. I plan to pursue a different career eventually (also plan to live to 150 so not sweating time) and I wouldn't feel good leaving my poker story as someone who put in 7.5/10 effort and made a bit more money then the average minimum wage slave when I know my potential is much higher and when I know that when I do put in substantial cognitive effort in the right ways I reap the EV fruits and that just feels so good.

I am entirely prepared that poker online will not make a good amount of money after a couple years to next to no one

Live poker will really neither (but to some who have the accessibility to private games / casinos) / who want to live in dislikeable locations

Reality is ,.. guys who are not high net worth individuals are needing to get to jobs / take risks starting business

Poker will get tougher each year to the point that machines are inevitably taking the place from players and sites will no longer care about it

To OP : Weed smokers are the laziest and most delusional people I know , they give up on dreams by default because the pain is not there. Head is always in a ****ing cloud .

Drink hard alcohol alone and feel the pain . Get over it .

hmm .. I watched the terminator 1-3 very recently , might be having an influence on my opinion

Poker is an competition. if a guys who think he is a good boxer tries to street fight Floyd Mayweather, is Floyd wrong for whooping his ass? I don't think so. Now you could say "but they are addicted!, its different." this may be true, but at the same time there is a lot of recreationals who play for fun and don't care losing 2k or whatever, PLUS sometimes they WIN YOUR MONEY. you, who spends hours training, studying, getting better. there ain't no competition fairer than poker. If I go to ring with Anderson Silva, I'm leaving the ring in a coffin. If an amauter plays against me, he wins my money and send me an emoji just because why not ? But, about having a contributing paper in society: I agree a lot that we are not that useful (just like any competitor.) and the reason for this is pretty simple: the human purpose is to serve, contribute, not to compete. BUT there is nothing wrong in competition, it's your intention behind it. There is a lot of other ways to contribute to society, which all evolve around just being a good human being in general

Ps: if I was not convincing, just google GUY LALIBERTE. he is a savage in the industry of donatiing dolar bils. he seems like a pretty happy guy. always smile.

Agreed that poker is very fair, may the best man get the EV, I guess my hesitation behind being content about the whole circumstance is me asking myself am I living my best life though? And looking back when I’m in my 80s will I be happy with my current pursuits? If I just made bank and retired I think I’d say no which is why I plan to serve others later, but maybe I’d be happier with myself later if I just dropped poker and focusing my more altruistically intentioned aims now accepting that i just won’t be rich or not at least until far after my lengthy needed education is done. I know I’m living a good life and my friends and family regard me as nice, but I guess I always am questioning whether I am living “optimally” or no, which there is no measurable to way to affirm an answer. Anyways, I love poker and am having fun on this journey so I’m not really sweating this question too hard. Just something I think about sometimes and wanted to see if any other grinders shared similar perspectives.

Cloud head fish , get off from weed

Hahah no worries didn’t get needle vibes I love the title. Good luck with the weed abstinence. It sounds like you have the right frame of mind to be able to tackle something that difficult, so props for going for it. And gotta appreciate a fellow Huberman Labs student even if I’m oftentimes a poor model myself. Limbic friction is a friggin bitch, especially on those hard days like you mentioned. That stoic/spiritual approach is a light thru that dark if we can hold onto it, which like you said about discipline is mainly about showing up and doing your best at it even when all forces are against.

Instead of going directly into the poker vs neurosurgeon point I’ll zoom back out and say it like this: IMO, any individual who is pursuing all-around excellence in their life is a net positive to the world, no matter their field or how overtly ‘helpful’ it may appear. And it sounds to me like you feel at least parts of this as well, when you mention the 7.5/10 effort not being good enough – bc you know it’s not your best, not excellence or mastery. Could also say it like “anyone who’s applying themselves 10/10 in every area of their life is a (massive) net positive on the world.”

Thanks for the extra kind words and vote of confidence . Really wish I started a blog here sooner! Only wish I had more time in every day to read and stay on top of every blog here, lots of interesting stories and things to learn.

Lol yes, for some reason Kilkusieppo's posts have me dying

totally agree at the table you gotta have a killer mindset i would literally be fine with busting someone til their last penny idgaf

whether you are living optimally really wont matter in the end yolo bitchh

U good mate, I got an A in intro psyc maybe can analyze your way to freedom

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Hmm interesting take, I do see the correlation between myself excelling in poker for durations and me excelling in other things in life at same time (working out well everyday, reading, eating really healthy, cooking cool new meals) and surely all those things in brackets rub off onto people around me in life in positive ways, so although maybe even if I’m 10/10ing poker , the actual poker itself doesn’t benefit anyone but me and my future family, the state of excellence this 10/10 mode puts me in does benefit those close to me now. Tend to get more inspirational and wholesome and kind in this phases haha.

https://youtu.be/-PPevGRSOBE
Maybe this is why u guys are depressed

But I still want the money

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no ****