1 hour in to the famous bounty builder $55 on Pokerstars and I'm bored, I try to play every hand, to keep me occupied, keep me entertained, I know at this stage I'm meant to be patient, pick my spots, search out the prey and devour every chip they miss play, I know how too, I've put the work in, I've read the books, I've studied the ranges. but 5h7h utg, is screaming at me to put in a bet because to fold may force me deeper in to boredem, so I oblige 2.2x, stack size 6,210, blinds 50/100(15) 8 handed.

Mp1 calls (220)
Button calls (220)
Small blind calls (220)
Big blind calls (220)

Pot size 1220
Effective stack button with 2210 (22 bigs)

My fate is already sealed, my brain has already made the decision, I'm going to the wire, I don't care what the flop is. I raised UTG this pot belongs to me how dare they call, plus nobody bothered raise pre flop considering the dead money that was available so they are weak I know it.
That's my read, I'm going to die by it.

The flop AdKc5s

That flop has my name all over it the Ace and King are firmly in my percived range, and failing that I've connected and can catch a 5 or 7 to suck out, the plan is bulletproof.
regardless this is my pot and I'll be damned if I'm going to let these weak players take it from me.

Small blind (check)
Big blind (check)
Me(1220)
Mp (1220)
Button fold
Small blind (fold)
Big blind (fold)

Pot - 3660
My stack 4770

It's going in on the turn, I'm bringing the fire. he only has a king ain't no way he calls, I don't care what the turn brings. See you on the other side.

Turn 7s, Bingo I was going all in anyway this was just iceing on the cake, LET'S DO IT. I slide the cursor as far right as the bet-slider will go, and I'm ready to furociously click the left button on my mouse. but wait, what if he folds? I don't want him to fold, not now, before yes, I would of begged for it, but now I want to milk every last drop of delicious milk (chips, I don't even like milk) from his ever increasingly gorgeous looking stack.
I should check, maybe he bets, then I jam he has to call for my remaining chips right? great idea, let's do that.

Me (check)
Villain (all in)

What a dream I got him, great check I got him to bluff the turn, why the fudge cake am I not in Vegas playing the high rollers l, rubbing shoulders with the pros.
I snap call, he turns over AK.

HOW THE **** HAS HE GOT AK THERE, HOW DID HE NOT RAISE PRE WHAT A ****ING IDIOT.
I throw the horse shoe at him, I start writing how awful he played AK just, I begin my pros guide rant in the chat box, I tell him he has to raise pre flop there, I begin writing how awful a play it was and how playing like that he will never make any money (ironic I know) I write it in block capitals so he knows I'm shouting. I prepare for blast off as a stack of chips slides towards me. A beautiful 7 shows on the river, Bingo, I delete rant. I congratulate myself for a job well done. I throw the firework at him. He throws **** at me (rude)
And from that point on my fate was sealed.
I had the taste of what it felt like to get lucky, and was certain this was my tournament to win. Against everything I know about poker, my mental state was not ready to play the strategical battle, I didn't have the mental strength to navigate an 8 hour plus online event. And so set of a chain of events that would have me out of the tournament before the break. And force me to ask myself why do I even play poker?

And I have done this religiously for the better part of 10 years.

Dotted in their are some decent wins, but nothing life changing. I don't put in anywhere near the work to be successful long term. And of you are a losing or break even player and you don't understand why! Ask yourself one question.

If you was on trial, would you get convicted of putting in maximum effort to your poker study? Or would you be Scott free because there was not enough evidence to convict you?

I'd be in the nearest starbucks 10 minutes later. Getting ready to play the bounty builder 55 again because the winner gets tens of thousands even though I very rarely even make the min cash of this event, every day it seems like a great idea.

So, if I'm not willing to study the required amount of time. Adequate enough to be moderately successful at the tables why do I keep returning day after day?

And the answer is because working a 9-5 is less appealing. Although I do work a regular job I hate getting up going to work. And the work I know it takes to make it as a pro sounds like to much work, yes I'm lazy!

But still, I'm infatuated by the idea of travelling the world playing poker for a living, I want to be able to study to fall in love with the process to embrace the journey, I don't necessarily want to be rich I just want to be comfortable, to be happy.

My question is this -

How do I fall in love with the process?
What steps can I take to become a winning player?
Does it have to be in you, or can you develop it?

I guess posting this is step one of a 1 million step journey, but you have to start somewhere right?

Sounds like you don't like poker, you just like the idea of winning money and gambling through the game of poker. Its an escape to another reality where you get to forget all your real-world troubles, while also getting to flip over cards and match them to try to win a jackpot.

If poker had no money involved, like chess, would you play it? No.

Don't confuse wishing you were a poker pro to liking poker.

As much as I appreciate your responce and I agree to some extent.

I'd have to disagree, if I really like the idea of winning money, I'd play roulette I'd try my luck at black jack I'd bet on sport or the horses I do none of those, if I REALLY liked the idea of winning money, I'd first have to be winning money right? so I doubt it's juts to idea of winning money that has me hooked.
I believe its more mental, its not just as black and white as you suggest.

If you have ever read a box called "the Chimp Paradox" by Steve Peters you would have a general idea what's at play in the brain during theae times.

There is an attachment to the thrill, but that's not solely related to poker that's life in general.

Rather than just stick a blanket label over every loser and say your gambling l, I try look deeper, and figure out if their is a way I can change my course.

Hope that makes sense ��✌��

I'm not saying this like I'm some sort of pro or anything (far from it. I play penny poker micro).

I guess there's two points I'd like to share with you:

You need to enjoy the game. Playing winning poker is playing boring poker. If you don't enjoy it you will just piss your money up the wall through tilt or boredom if you are trying to exercise the required discipline. If your cool with this and are content with playing recreational then who cares.

Following on from the above... winning poker is a lot more rewarding than playing losing poker. I get the impression you need to get over a barrier and change your outlook on the game. Poker is a difficult way to make an easy living. If you like the idea of using poker money to travel around playing live etc then understand you need to put the work in. There's probably a lot of other easier ways to make money these days. Why waste your time .

Sent from my SM-S906B using Tapatalk

Interesting post..

I think it is possible to win at poker (particularly mtts) without formal study. In fact, a LOT of people find themselves struggling to win after spending a lot of time learning gto and it is made worse by them being convinced it is the bible as far as poker is concerned.
I don't think there is anything wrong with opening 75s utg. Ok it might not be optimal but if you can't stick to tighter ranges then it's not the biggest leak ever. The problem is the rest of your thought process. Your "perceived range" ? It's a $55 tourney, a lot of people are just looking at their hands, they are not perceiving your range at all
If you're going to play your own game and that means playing a lot of hands to you then at least think that other people aren't going to be playing "properly" either. You're moaning he didn't 3b AK like he's supposed to play correct ranges whilst you don't? I mean, you're not in isolation, if you can play spazzy or weird then so can everyone else.
It's like you're caught between the two, playing however you want but bemoaning that other people aren't assigning correct ranges to you or playing correct ranges themselves. So which is it? Either you play "properly" or you forget all that completely and that means not assuming other people are.
I get the feeling you're stuck in the middle. Stop studying completely and just play by feel or study properly - but choose one or the other and embrace it. Your psychology is flawed, I would guess the term is cognitive dissonance

"Cognitive dissonance is a mental conflict that occurs when your beliefs don't line up with your actions. It's an uncomfortable state of mind when someone has contradictory values, attitudes, or perspectives about the same thing"

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate anyone who takes the time out to respond to me.

However, I think you misunderstood some of my remarks in OP, my getting annoyed at him not playing correct was tongue in cheek as I put in brackets "ironic".

When I refer to perceived range, it's sthat of the very basic nature, when you raise from EP in a very soft field event and an Ace or king hits the flop population tend to assign you with an ace or king pretty much every time unless they actually have one them self at which point they don't care about you range.

My problem is boredem, I want to play the game I enjoy aspects of the game but I lose patients really quickly. It could be because of the baggage in my personal maybe?

There are plenty of mind coaches that could nail down my issues. But I wanted to speak to really people on here with similar issues and see how they respond to this issue

Yeh I have had similar issues that's why I responded. You're bored, frustrated because there is not enough "action" so you create action even if it is negative ev
Yes the 75s hand its ok to open it but when there is an AKx flop then you need to check/fold rather than trying to represent AK AA KK because 4 way someone will have Ax and they won't fold..
Or at least bet the flop tiny to get info and then perhaps hit a disguised hand on the turn if its a 7 or 5. But you're playing "let's pretend" and it has nothing to do with poker skill or knowledge. You're just pretending you have a big hand and it doesn't work!
I think you can find a balance between opening more hands, playing them in a way that fits with you not getting too bored whilst not spazzing out and throwing away your chips. I don't know what the psychology is behind it but there has to be a compromise somewhere because your current approach doesn't work

In answer to your questions

How do I fall in love with the process?
Make it your mission to work out how to win playing your own way. Whilst playing, think about your own tendencies i.e wanting to gamble, action etc and then look at how other people play and work out how to use your tendencies to your advantage

What steps can I take to be a winning player?
When you are playing then be willing to give up quickly on bad investments and be willing to take the gambles for the big stack. This would suit you. Then when you have the big stack try to dominate even if its i bust or glory. Know thyself. If you can't be patient then at least give yourself the best chance to win whilst being impatient

Does it have to be in you, or can you develop it?
It is in you but you have to actually hone it and learn what works and what doesn't. You can't just stick with your theories like repping big hands against people who won't fold - that's just wishful thinking and will only cause further frustration.

You don't like roulette or blackjack because when you win at those, it does nothing for your ego. When you win at poker, you get a feeling of superiority over your opponents. You can't outplay anyone in roulette, so it's not an interesting game unless you're a pure gambler and don't really care about ego. Poker is a trap. It is both a strategy game AND a gambling game. When you win, you tell yourself it's a strategy game. When you lose, you tell yourself it's luck. In reality this is somewhat true in the long run. If you're a long run winner, you probably care more about the strategy of the game. If you're a long run loser, like almost everyone who plays, you care more about the gambling part of the game. Long run losers can't sit down and actually study for any meaningful amount of time. They repeat the same mistakes for years and don't want to put any effort into improving, they just want to flip over cards and get unstuck.

I strongly disagree that you have to be winning money in order to like the idea of winning money. The entire bajillion dollar gambling industry would not exist if gamblers just gave up when they lost money. It's the exact opposite.

So you're obviously not dumb, you've read the chimp paradox and understand whats going on in your brain. You do mention understanding ranges etc so clearly have done some study. You definately have mental game issues as do I. I've read most of the stuff out there and although elements were useful, nothing was a complete package I could read or buy to help me, I had to do my own research and find out what worked for me. This takes some work and is less fun than playing.

Some suggestions from me would be, do some work understanding your motivations for playing poker in the first place.

Consider different poker variants, personally I much prefer PLO, more fun, bigger edges, lots more terrible players and a much more complicated game. I am actively enjoying learning this game in more depth.

I heard a good interview from Feder Holz, where he said most players are too lazy to do the work required to be a solid winning player and this stuck with me. Also JNandez talked about looking at a player you think is good and just doing what they do, i.e. study, deal with mental game issues etc.

Or just accept life as a recretional player, look at other things in your life and maybe change careers etc

After 20 years of hell in poker I also hate it to death. Yet keep playing. You got way worse to come.

"I raised UTG how dare they call..." LMAO I pissed

just dont play tournaments dude, tournaments are boring like real boring never found them fun (even winning one yh feels good yh) there slow as **** cause got people just sitting there chilling watching a film on phone timing out, got regs playing a stupid amount table for some reason slowing it down and got the fact its fullring on top, and fact relatively short for most the tournament even when biggest stack again tying you to needing mostly be selective where how can get out of line anyways and what hands areas.

just play cash (not zoom though your burn your money there quickly, or well i do) if enjoy holdem play a site that has relatively fast deal not loads loads massmultitabling regs slowing game down taking ages for preflop decisions timing out making it snooze fest, and if really dont like holdem, play omaha (but expect bigger swings like alot bigger both ways) but i can almost guarantee your have more fun high chance your actually enjoy playing it bit more pace is slower but it actually makes sense cause your looking at 4cards more multiway spots deep spots and every street hand is kinda more significant.

if enjoy poker can afford keep playing if cant have a wank, watch porn, buy bmx or skateboard if healthy go ride skatepark learn so tricks, do parkour lol, go rock-climbing, mountain biking, trampolining, skydiving, whatever get your itch scratched for adrenaline or whatever other ways i would if i werent injured and had the dosh, hell pretty sure theres escorts offering blowy's 1/2 hr for the price that tournament, theres other releases my point if healthy injury free, if not injury free try get back videogames, i think you do enjoy poker still your just emotional and that is part why you enjoy it the emotion it can trigger you actually feel something, i know i still enjoy it when i enjoy it as it is filling a void itch ive been uncapable to stretch in other ways annoyingly for years now mainly due injury and some other things, i enjoy the sweat least in omaha (doesnt happen in holdem that faded quick) and yh i like the strategic aspect the game too when in mood to not pure gamble splash.

only you know of wanna keep playing, personally id scrap the tournaments but ive really never been big fan that format.
poker is gamified gambling theres edge its marketed as skill game, but truth is after rake how much edge can actually get or winners have is marginal (least talking cash games) theres chart out there that track winrate and percentage players etc and was between 0-18bb or something was the winrate distrubution over all the winners in that pool and there crossroads for headsup,6max and fullring was like 3.5bb/100 so percentage pool that have fat fat edges when looked at that bellcurve thing were small if i could find it id show you.
but yh poker your biggest enemy least cash games is still the ****ing rake lol and house just wins passively here too ha, but percentage winners werent huge at all and most winning by some measley winrates.
so i think the skill aspect of poker is higly exaggerated marketed as keeps people in game (and also you know its skill game too as you see mistakes people clearly worse than you that you can strategically setup make make bigger mistakes get there money (but think myself included people forget just how much money paying to rake, i played on site that was hudless where was 7-8percent rake once games were really splashy did actually beat that stake but the amount of stacks flying about in session youd expect table be somewhat deep it werent cause so much was going to the house, like it was a maniacal session too 0 folds pre so you are paying the rake, and it just first time i really took or realised damn rakes a real issue if too high, as i was in a maniacal soft game chipping up but not as massively as felt should for how much i was given deep multiway everywhere.

tournaments i cant talk on though i cant even guess how highs too high for rake.

poker is a skill game but rake gobbles up pretty significant chunk that skill. also so much pokers actually mental game and not tilting as often or monkeytilting and actually playing your game strat.

good luck whatever you do, remember is a game, if can put private games or tourny nights on friends acquaintances do that scrap the middleman scrap the house rake and have fun.

peace.