Unfortunately, the reality of trying to be a poker pro (or semi-pro) is that you need to have a solid mental game. You need to be able to control your emotions in order to protect your roll, which you seem to have a lot of difficulty doing OP. Are you required to work with a therapist in order to be on benefits? If not, imo you really should consider seeing one. It's gonna be pretty hard for you to get your life to where you want to be if you can't learn how to manage your emotions better, regardless of whether or not you ultimately want to pursue poker
I think you have a lot of insight when you say you need more joy from your life in order to have a solid mental game - your life definitely needs to be decent enough to not let losing bother you. And I think the only way that's going to happen is if you take your mental and emotional health as seriously as you possibly can. That was certainly the case for me
I definitely understand the feeling of being "trapped," especially if your living and financial situations are not great. That was me for quite some time, before I really started to turn a corner after a few years of therapy. It sucks sometimes, but you really can't force those things. You need to make money to improve those things, but it's hard to make money unless you can control your emotions enough to not let them hurt your long-term goals
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Originally Posted by Unsporting
Think you would benefit from a full time job op.
Not just the monetary security from it but also mentally. Meet new people and try new things etc. in 6-12 months you might not care about poker
If OP could legitimately work a full-time job, he most likely wouldn't be on disability benefits. He needs to start with part-time work