God damn I love paper like I'm Michael Scott.

This **** is going to be too easy as long as I stay disciplined... With that in mind, I've incorporated journaling and meditation into my daily routine.

I don't believe in God. But, the universe must be smiling down upon me because I'm on the right path in life. I made a royal flush tonight. Played a marathon session of 2/5. There was one table of 2/5 running and it was lit AF fam. Of course, after doubling our bankroll Friday night we were going to play 2/5. Crazy how I'm already rolled for 2/5 after two sessions haha.

Also, I got a $250 bonus for the royal.

Not sure if I should include the bonus money or not in the final results
BRC day 2: +$1228 without the bonus money

GL OP, sounds like you've been through a lot with more adventures ahead.

This is random, but figured I'd send along since you've mentioned getting on a healthy eating/exercising routine and I can't imagine there are many healthy options in the area. I stopped here on my way to the dog track. https://lotuscafeatzen.com/

Thanks Bob! I've been meaning to go there actually. How is the food?

Consider it rakeback Congrats on the session win, good luck and hopefully no degen this time around.

Ty sir.. staying strong so far.

In! I've spun up and degenned off many a mid five figure bankroll myself! Just moved to Cali for a great job and am trying to be disciplined in grinding on the side instead of degenning it all off this time.

Have made 4 cash outs since ststarting this.. I want to run it up and get enough of a roll to play on my own so I can build the BR faster. But, I owed my mom and brother some money. They sent me money to live off since I've been out. So I sent a payment to my ex-backer and my family.
Kind of sucks because I know I can run it up faster with more money to play with but I figured it was the right thing to do. So I just sent all of them money. Back to being personally broke. But, my backer put all of his money from the cash outs back into the stake. So the roll is still healthy.
And I'm doing the right thing. So I figure that was the best play.

Just have to be patient. In a couple months I'll be able to still be making monthly payments and have enough to leave the stake and play on my own. Patience and discipline and doing the right thing is all it takes. I have the skills. So, I'm on the right path right now. Just have to be careful and not relapse and I'll have 100k roll in 12 months or less guaranteed.

Thanks for following

So, I F@#$ed up again and relapsed. I crushed so hard since starting this and last night I degend again and gave back all of my profits after splitting the cash outs 50/50 :/
I deposited 2k on bovada/ignition. And used terrible BRM again and was short stacking for 50 BB on 2/5 PLO. I was stuck 1k at one point. Got back to even plus a little. I had a 1.2k stack on one table and ended up gii vs the only player that had me crushed.

We got it all on the turn and I had top and middle with 2nd nfd. Villain had top pair and nfd. all in on turn. Way ahead. Of course diamond on river to get scooped. So went from up 100-200 to down 1k. Got tilted and went to BJ . Embarrassing to admit but after that I lost another couple small pots and was down to 600 and was tilted after losing that big pot. So I took the 600 to BJ and lost the rest of course. F-ing sucks and I'm so pissed at myself. But, I have to tell the truth and hold myself accountable.
Feel free to berate me ITT after I did that.

Obviously I don't have the self discipline for online poker yet. I need to just stick to live and some PPP and build a fat roll until I get the discipline to play online again.

I realized what part of the problem was. I played a 12 hour marathon session saturday night/sunday morning and it screwed up my whole schedule. I'm an addict. I need to write down a schedule for myself and stick to it. I need a routine. I can't play the marathon schedules that mess up my self discipline routine.

From now on I'm sticking to a strict schedule of doing things to build my self discipline muscle and only playing poker only from a set time period from now on, day in and day out. Play from 7pm-3am every day no matter how good the games are. And get on a good sleep schedule and stay on my routine.

This is a pretty ****ty relapse into my degen addiction. But, I still have a decent BR. And this is another lesson learned. Only sticking to my plan and routine from now on, and not deviating from it. And I think I will be fine.

TL;DR: I fell off the wagon an deggened. But, I have tweaked my plan now to keep from doing that again. And I will stick to it. No matter what. No more F-ups!

Solid overall. Good food/coffee/atmosphere.

Just read your last poast. Keep your head up, grind a good schedule, stay away from online--seems like you have it figured out! Just gotta execute. GL

Yeah that's the hard part haha. Thanks, Bob. I'll check it out.

And as for the BRC we will get this thing rolling. Sticking to a strict routine and no more online and no more degenning! And we got this fam. As long as we do this we will be from busto to rubsto in no time.

BRMMMMMMMM. You have the skills to crush poker. You can make more money playing higher, but will always end up broke due to variance. Stop shot-taking.

Learn to embrace the process of steady accumulation, rather than the high of big swings. Try and enjoy making 50 bins at 1/2 before moving up. Any time you even think of straying from this (through shot-taking or BJ degening), think of how many hours/weeks/etc it took to make the money you're about to risk/waste. See how big of a win-rate you can get playing those sick FL games. It'll be slower, but much better than being variance's b****, and starting over for the 100th time.

+1 thanks man.
I'm just a gambling addict. It's fine if I stick to poker with good BRM but becomes a problem when I deviate from the plan. That's why I need to write down a strict routine and stick to it no matter what. That's why that marathon session f@#$ed me.
No more marathon sessions. I'm writing down a strict routine of what I want to do the next day before bed and sticking to it. Legggo

I'm not mad
I'm just disappointe

Me too bro. Me too. This is a learning experience though. I know what triggered the relapse this time. So I know how to fix it. won't happen again.

What would you say the allure of online poker is?

In a couple days you were up 4K playing live, then you decide to go play online. Seems like online poker is more for the gratification of gambling, regardless of the results. Learning to identify the games that you crush in and basically print money, is going to get you out of this hole. Perhaps looking into a poker book like "The Tao of Poker". You don't necessarily suffer from tilt issues, but the book preaches more than just poker success, it preaches life success as well.

Not saying you need to steer clear of online poker forever, but if you have a gold mine at the live tables, and clearly an edge, maximize that profit potential.

Good luck, you're in for a wild ride! Hope you get past the bumps.

Don't you feel horrible as you watched your bankroll drop and drop? I'd be terrified if I did that and would stop almost immediately if I saw myself doing something so stupid. You need to be a bankroll nit to win long term.

Good luck man. Awesome story and you seem like a great guy with the right intentions. After being on 2+2 for a couple years and never making an account, i thought it was time after reading your thread

Good luck with everything

Quadduece!!!!!

The paradoxical about people like you is your risk aversion. But, you've also seen where that also seems to land you at the end.

Hey, i'm a casual rec and I still use a bankroll. I won't even tip the cocktail waitress from
my chip stack if I have cash, life roll cash, in my wallet.
My poker roll is for poker! and not internet poker, not tournament poker, for my cash game poker!

If the kids need milk and I run out of money, sorry kids, the poker roll is for poker!

And maybe you should do some meditation or something dude. Do something.
We love you!!!!

Oh, how to win at the tables, sorry dude, your on your own on that one.

Would definitely say it's gambling addiction. Which is fine and works in my favor when I play focused, disciplined, good BRM poker. When I go to the pits or play in games I'm not rolled for it becomes a problem.

When I'm in the moment I dont think anything. Actually, that's not true. All I can think of is getting back to even.

Thank you sir, I feel honored that you created a thread just to follow me
Thanks brother. I love you guys too. Thanks for the words of wisdom. Not tipping the cocktail waitress is taking it a lil too far though lol. Start tipping you nit :P

I'm currently playing live for the first time since the marathon session Saturday night/Sunday morning. And since the Bovada blow up. Feeling good and in the zone. Exercised and meditated before coming in. Expecting to have a good night. Will update when I get home.

You don't play well because of your gambling addiction. You merely find a way to temporarily supress it.

Your gambling addiction is not a problem because it causes the above to happen, it is the main problem for pretty much everything.

You have to beat this, in order to have more of the staying within your BRM and playing profitable poker. Until you do, your downswings and high stakes spews are going to continue to happen.

Focus on attacking your addiction or you're never going to stop being a degen.

damn bro, ive been following this thread and was pretty excited to see how positive it has gone so far for a guy who sounded like he was in a tough spot

to see you relapse is pretty sad dude. havent you already been kicked in the face by gambling enough by now? the saddest thing in life is wasted talent. stop wasting it man. you might be a poker shark but as it stands now youre basically a life fish. discipline man, discipline! GL

Very true. Thanks man.

I got rekt tonight. Cooler after cooler after cooler. It's like the universe was smiling upon me when I was doing the right thing. And now that I have been walking down the wrong path lately the universe punished me for me it. Oh well, just have to stay disciplined and keep at it.
--1560