In recapping the year, it has been an interesting year for me in poker. I built my first desktop in March, after previously having only used a Macbook Air. The desktop has been great, as it has allowed me to jump into the solver world, and really start to understand how postflop works, something I never really was able to grasp well when I was playing on my mac.
However, despite my continued study and efforts, I am still unable to beat 5z/10z convincingly. I played 25k hands at 5z in November after coming back down from 10z, where I had lost 18BI in 40k hands. I posted a small winrate at 5z in November. Convinced I could beat the 10z ante games, which I do believe are softer, I moved back up.
Unfortunately, my december results show I am still, clearly not a winner. However, I did manage to put in 37k hands, which is my most in a single month.
December graph:
Looking at the month as a whole, I think it is clear I am not a winning player with my playstyle. I worked hard on my mental game, so I don't think tilt is a major issue, though I do still have lapses in decision making. Further, I haven't encountered much variance, and I'm confident that variance isn't the reason I am losing. I am 100% owning my results. However, these past few months of struggle at the micros have made me so aware of how incredibly high the rake is. This month, I payed $252 in rake, which eclipses my $170 losses. Evidently, I am winning before rake, but not at a rate that beats it. Despite the rake, I truly don't understand how I can (marginally) beat 5z, but lose at 10z, which I still feel is softer and fishier with the ante.
I feel like a big leak in my game is my passiveness/weaktight style, and despite trying to be more aggression these last 10 days, I continue to lose on redline.
My bankroll cannot keep taking these wallopings at 10z (could deposit, but I don't want to be a depositing losing player) so I am going to have to make some tough choices. I don't want to move down, and my exclusive poker challenge currently won't get cleared at 5z, but I don't want to keep losing at 10z.
I think I am going to seek out some paid 1on1 coaching to get some help with beating the micros. I am not sure who or what yet, but I am going to start looking for some coaching. I'm going to examine and consider everything from established, known coaches with expensive rates to players with less coaching experience, perhaps playing higher in stars zoom pools who would be willing to try out being a coach for a lower rate. Feel free to reach out or make recommendations.
However, for 2021 my main poker goal remains the same: Beat 25z on stars, first by beating 10z.
Outside of poker, I am blessed and very grateful to have a comfortable life and good paying job that allows me to play poker as a hobby with the these stakes being basically irrelevant compared to my life roll. I feel my life outside of poker is good, and I don't anticipate making any big changes outside of poker in 2021, though I did make some changes (daily meditation routine) thanks to the A Game Poker Masterclass. I will (once lockdown is over, again) continue to go to the gym 2-3 times a week, and continuing to eat healthier. I would like to lose ~10 pounds, but at 5'10"/165lb, that isn't a huge concern and is something that will happen slowly over 3-4 months.