quick update:
The new beginning
Lost my database so today start a new one.
Last month played like 20k hands on 25nl breakevenish, for me the hardest part isn't the players but mentally I'm not used to $50+ pots.
I was just playing what I thought was my own exploitative style but now I want to focus on starting from scratch and building a new solid strategy. (or stealing it from ginge poker
)
But because I feel like I need to start over now with a new strategy I don't know If I should first play 2/5nl or just move back to 10nl
mental game: So I noticed I have this destructive pattern: I feel the need to fail so then I can start over again. I think subconsciously I like it cuss then I can start new and ''do it right this time''
Also it relieves some pressure cuss I would start from the familiar beginning. I also noticed I do this with fitness, for example today I can eat whatever I want so that's out of my system and tomorrow I will start a strict diet. It basically comes back in every area of life just in slightly different forms. Also I think it's so I can feel like a victim. With poker when I play my worst I call down people when I know they have it, just so I can ''see'' that I got ''unlucky'' again, to reinforce how big of a victim I am.
So with poker this is a new start lol. Had to cash out a bunch. I will start at 5nl and play at least 30k hands, only allowed to move up when I'm winning 5bb/100.
If I manage to win 5bb/100 at 10nl for at least 100k hands I will shot take 25nl again. My goal now is to treat poker more seriously and more like a job. I will have the time for it this month so better use it well
This week:
-30k hands NL5 hopefully at 5bb/100 so I can move up
-Only check results when I post them here next sunday
-Watch ginge course second time
-30 pages mgop
For mental health:
daily: meditation, Cold showers, exercise , wim hof method, follow a daily schedule