Mental game is a never ending fight. I've realized that if I spew some point during a session, it's usually downhill from there, whereas if I play well, the momentum carries on. Taking a breath and injecting logic has never worked that well for me, and while it sometimes helps me snap out of spew mode and go back to B- ish game, I think sitting out and regaining your composure is much better.

GL, hope you do better tomorrow, bad habits stack on each other very quickly.

I can totally relate to the bolded section above. The last few nights I've been so tired from working all day and feel like I have to force myself to put in the volume rather then take a night off from grinding, especially when my focus is not very good. It has def shown in my results the last few days from going over hands and knowing that there are some obv folds and instead I was just clicking the call button.

Thanks for the thoughts and support guys.

One other thing I was thinking about last night was how confidence can be a double edged sword. When I'm on point and doing my best, my confidence in my earning ability is higher than ever. I feel great about my edge in 5/10 games, and while that can be a good thing as when I'm in the zone it frees me up to pull the trigger and do my best, I can see how it can also be a negative when I'm using that as rationalization for poor behavior. I went longer than my fixed session length yesterday, and I think part of the reason is I was overconfident and didn't value the importance of my own rules and processes. I've said it before, but I want and need to stress to myself time and again the importance of professional, structured grinding habits. Bill Parcels once had a team full of talent with a mediocre record, and when asked about it said, "You are what your record says you are." I'm a guy that won 10k in a week, but the reality is I'm also a guy that lost 6k the next day. All the earning potential in the world doesn't mean squat if it is squandered by poor performance. Having an A game that is profitable is great, and a key part of the equation, but consistently executing that A game in the face of all different conditions is as much if not more important. I can see that again I let my WANT of receiving a certain result get in the way of my healthy processes, and that is always a recipe for disaster. Occasionally I might get away with it, simply by not running into tough spots or negative variance while off my A processes, but more often than not it hurts me.

I don't like coming in here sharing stories of negative results or poor performance, but I also recognize it's important to face reality head on and not try to hide from it or erase it, but instead deal with it and learn from it and leverage it into an opportunity for growth. For a long time in the past, I've played with too much fear of losing. Part of that was being unaccustomed to big swings, and part of that was some level of financial insecurity. The idea of losing 5k+ in a single session was so scary, that the fear of that kept me in check in some ways. It also limited my profitability, as I'd be afraid to pull the trigger on thin edges in big pots sometimes. Now, with a more stable financial picture and also more experience with big losses, I don't have "the fear of God" in me so to speak about taking the huge losses. That is great in terms of my ability to execute my A game when things are going well, which increases my earning ceiling, but I also need to recognize that without that fear I need to strengthen other motivating factors to help prevent the big losses and keep me on track doing my best when the going gets tough. Rather than avoiding big losses via fear of losing, instead I want to strengthen my efforts to be able to do my best in the face of all conditions, and strengthen my efforts to take great pride in my mental game and my ability to do my best day in and day out at a consistently high level. Having the ability to get up and down from a tough lie in a sand trap is great, but being able to do that consistently EVERY time is what separates the good from the best. I am going to refocus my thoughts on this as part of my warmups, and increase my efforts to really put MENTAL VALUE on adhering to my professional grinding processes.

Ben !!! I just like to say thank you!!!!

More of a help to me than you can imagine ..... I been told by many greats the secret to success is to just pay attention !

Thanks!

Did a spew review of my play on Saturday. Things weren't all that bad up until the very end. I lost 6.5k on the day.

Early in session, I made a big hero call for $700 on the river, and in game I wasn't tilted and thought it through, but I can see looking back it was overly optimistic. I think something like -$350 of EV on the call. That wasn't too terrible, but my reaction to it wasn't good and I do remember getting frustrated by the situation and off my game. I made one slightly spewy triple barrel bluff in a 3bet pot, but the whole thing looks pretty reasonable looking back, perhaps just a bit optimistic but definitely not spew mode, so I'll call that -$200. I also fired a second bet in a 3bet pot later in session where I feel I should have checked back turn, but I do get some folds there just not enough, so that's -$150. That's $700 of spew, which isn't great, but being down over 5k at that point it's within the realm of reasonability. However, my last hand of the session, I ran a suicide bluff in a 3bet pot in a spot where my line really doesn't rep anything and I fired a huge river bet in there and lost like $1300 on the hand, for a spew total of -$1000 on the hand. It was bad, and as soon as it was over I immediately sat out, not even playing to my big blinds. If I had adhered to my session length rules and stopped more appropriately, this would not have happened. By forcing session too long chasing a loss, my mental armor became too worn down and eventually cracked at the very end and a spew came pouring out. I wasn't even really thinking about hand ranges or anything, it was more of a "screw it" type of frustration spew. Not good, but live and learn - and the key thing is to actually learn from it and take steps to avoid repeating this. The day should have been a -5200 day with -700 in spew, instead it was a -6500 day with -1700 in spew. The first isn't really great, but for a day where I'm getting beat up firing a loose double barrel or making a loose river call along the way isn't totally unexpected, and I could have felt good about my effort in retrospect if I had stopped appropriately. Instead, I torched off an extra stack at the end out of spite, and definitely tilt tilted and frustrated and all sorts of negative emotions after sitting out, because I immediately recognized what I had done. I don't really get a strong negative emotional reaction from running poorly in general, but I definitely feel it when I know I messed up, as I understand instinctively that I can't really be mad at variance as I can't control it, but I can definitely control my response to it and the breakdowns that happen in the face of adversity.

Chin up and on to February!

Good session this morning. I felt tuned in and in control and did a good job. I am very happy with my quitting point, as I was definitely running out of mental energy at the end of session but I still had a couple fish on the table and had recently lost a pot to one of them and I wanted to stay and stack the fish, but I made the healthy choice to just end my session as planned and be honest with myself that I was starting to get a bit frustrated and I was running out of energy which leads to my mental armor coming down, and I sat right out and quit and felt good about the process.
VT: A-
PF: A
SP: A
GS: B+
TG: B+

I was about to play another session before a scheduled meeting later this afternoon, and as I sat down I could tell that my brain was feeling fatigued (didn't quite get a full night of quality sleep last night) and I wasn't mentally committing to the grinding process, so I made the healthy choice to not play and instead occupy myself with doing some stable management related work to make productive use of the available time.

Two small choices by themselves, but habits are built out of the routine choices we make every day, and building healthy positive habits are what enables us to do our best on a consistent basis.

Another tough day today. Hit stoploss again. Took a variety of bad beats, and a big whale ended up with most of my losses. I did a pretty good job of not spewing and staying on point with my play, although I did get a bit sloppy in the middle of one of the sessions in a few medium pots. I'll be looking forward to my spew review to see how it all looks. Feeling a bit rattled after quitting, as the accumulation of negative variance over the last couple months is bothersome. I need to remember that just because I have ran poorly in the past, doesn't mean I'm somehow entitled to start running good in the future. All I can control is doing my best moving forward, and if I keep doing my best eventually over the course of the year the results will take care of themselves - it just may take longer than I'd prefer but that's the reality of being a professional poker player. I know after I get some exercise and take a break I'll feel better, as I've been through this plenty of times before. Exercise > break > study group and then some live poker tonight, and back to the online grind again tomorrow.
VT: B
PF: A
SP: B-
GS: B+
TG: B+

It's amazing how much exercise does to shake off feelings of negativity. Got in a quick 3 mile run before study group, and I feel 100% better after my run and am feeling upbeat and positive again. Happened to talk to jdgambler for a moment on Skype today, and he reminded me:

"yep, we have all been in that stretch you aren't sure if it will ever end, but it generally makes us better players in the long run"

Keeping my chin up and will stay positive and keep trying to do my best. I can't change the past, I can't control variance, all I can control is doing my best with what is in front of me in the moment.

Big +1 to exercise being so huge for relieving some of the stress that comes with being a pro poker player/life in general.

Just did a spew review on my -$5500 online day on Tuesday. I'm pleased to report that I really didn't spew during session. I feel very good about that. Normally these kind of big losings days include one or two facepalm moments, where I can tell I blatantly misplayed a pot due to frustration. It's not fun to lose, but I'm glad I can look back on a big loser and feel like I did a good job and not feel regret about torching an extra thousand bucks. I think hitting stoploss often recently is helping me become more tolerant of losing these sums in general. This is a concept I often talk to students about when moving up. The first time you ever lose over $500 in a day, it will inevitably sting a lot. The second time, it still stings. The tenth time, not nearly as much. The same concept applies to me losing over $5000 in a day obviously, the more experience I get with it the generally more capable I become of handling it better.

Took another one on the chin today. Some very silly bad beats. One thing I noticed is that the whole process almost felt amusing today more than frustrating. For example, I got it all in on the flop vs AQ with KK in a 4bet pot on 765 board, and my reaction to losing wasn't so much of frustration but moreso amusement at the whole situation continuing - like it's some sort of hidden camera TV show for laughs or whatever. That doesn't mean I'm not taking it seriously or trying to do my best, but at a certain point I'm becoming more and more numb to it as I become more and more accepting of the fact the downswing and makeup aren't going away anytime soon and I just have to deal with it and make the best of it.

EDIT: Quit appropriately just before the hour mark when I did start to feel frustrated, and on the whole did a good job of doing my best in the face of adversity.
VT: A
PF: A
SP: A
GS: B+
TG: A-

Got in another quality short session. Pleased with how I played and how I'm handling the conditions today. I had typed out "handling the adversity", but I don't like that phrase as I think it indulges a self pitying mindset about the downswing. Negative variance is an inevitable part of poker, and my job is to maximize my earnings both during periods of running hot and running cold, and both periods are inevitable so the periods of running cold shouldn't be viewed as "adversity" but moreso just an expected occurrence and it's my job to make the most of what is in front of me.

+1 to exercise and have you ever tried yoga? It has worked wonders to relieve the stress accumulated with sitting at a desk all day. #78 was an excellent post and i wish you the best of luck on all your goals! Btw I also found i laugh off bad beats when in my best mindset.

Thanks! Never tried yoga but I'd be open to trying it someday, perhaps if the next gym I join offers classes.

ben-
any books/tips discussing/combating the need for stimulation? i want to focus on playing 4-6 tables, but find myself constantly clicking elsewhere for stimulation/something to do. I know this is a huge mental leak, maybe its better termed focus? I just find myself going "more tables, lets click this page, lets do this"

thoughts/tips?

I'd start with identifying WHY you want to change this. I'd say there is valuable information at the table that you are missing. I'd say you aren't taking full advantage of your available time to think through your range, your opponent's range, and your general strategy for each situation. Think about these, think on some other reasons, and dwell a bit about WHY it's important to change this. If you don't have a strong motivating reason to change, then change never occurs.

You need to replace your browsing and extra tables with something else to fill that void. Make it a point to be taking more notes during gameplay. Take lots of notes on everything see, but most important is to take notes on hands that go to showdown and take a note of how each player played the given type of hand they had. Did they play it like you would have? Did they value bet thin? Did the cbet or check back second pair on the flop? Did they call loose on the river? Did they play their draw aggressive or passive? Etc. Also, make it a point to NEVER act instantly. Even if you are certain you know what you are going to do, let at least 5 seconds tick off before clicking to build a new habit. Make yourself mentally verbalize your range in every situation. Think of your normal 3betting range in a given spot. When the flop comes, think of what hands you cbet and what hands you check. Think of what turns cards you will bet again on BEFORE the turn comes. When you flat call pre BB vs BTN and the flop comes, think about what hands you x/c, x/f, and x/r before acting. Be more aware of your overall strategy and your total plan for the hand all the way through. This will use up a lot of brain cycles.

I'd do some very short practice sessions, and work your way up in length. Before session, take five full minutes and sit there and do some focused breathing. Close your eyes, take slow deep breaths, and calm yourself down and SLOW DOWN and at first think of nothing but being aware of your breathing and the feeling of the chair under you and your feet on the floor. Then start to think about how you will take your time and carefully consider each decision, and how you will pay close attention to the games at hand. You will give it your full attention while you are at the tables, and whatever you browsing or email or whatever will wait until session is complete. When you're ready, THEN open the poker client and software (not before warmup is complete), and login play a very short session - literally only 15-20 minutes, and make it an effort to stay in a calm focused zone. Next time you play, try to play 20-25 minutes - again repeating the warmup. Don't skip it, tell yourself these 5 minutes of readying yourself are a valuable skill and a long term investment in yourself and worth it. Each session increase your session length by 5 minutes, and over time work back up to longer sessions.

Finally, track your efforts. Keep a journal in a notebook. Use a PGC thread. The medium doesn't matter, but what matters is EVERY SINGLE TIME when you finish record your session date/time and length played, and give yourself some sort of score on your focus level, and write down a few quick thoughts about what went well and what went poorly, and the times you feel distracted some quick thoughts about why you think that happened. Sticking with the tracking long term and not cheating it is crucial to making changes and making them stick.

Building a new habit is like a tree growing. It will grow pretty quickly in it's early years, and early on you'll see that tree sprout up and exist, which is great, but it's not too tough for some adversity to come along and rip that tree right up out of the ground. It takes a long time to make those roots grow deep, but once you finally get there, nothing is pulling that tree up anymore.

Good luck!

Shiet man. That stuff went straight down to a word doc.

Appreciate it

No problem, hopefully some people find the general principles helpful.

Can you guys rate this thread 5 stars please? Seeing the 5 star rating on it attracts more readers (and also makes me happy).

Done. Have a great day man. Really think you could have changed my whole poker career trajectory with that one post.

Amazing.

Glad to help.

Someone asked me on Skype:

"i follow your thread and often at times you are playing well, focused, not spewing, etc etc basically doing everything right, but sometimes out of the blue you just go off track and have a really bad session, maybe because you skipped your pregame, maybe because you played while being tired, etc
would you have any idea what the reason we randomly fall off track is? and what's the easiest way to prevent it"

For me, the times I play poorly usually are the times I cheat my process and structure. Perhaps I skip warmup, or rush through it. I quickly reset my mindfulness bell without actually taking realistic inventory of my current mental state, and don't read through my mental goals but instead mindlessly reset the timer. The worst happens when I play well beyond my planned session stop time. If I planned to play for one hour, and three hours in I'm still sitting there, I'm almost certainly off my game.

The reason I end up doing this is because my mindset becomes shifted away from my goal being doing my best, and instead towards results. There can be a lot of reasons for this. When I'm tired, my mental armor wears down quickly, so too much negative variance can get me off my game and result in me chasing and trying to make a comeback. I might be rested, but become focused on monthly results and want to either hit some profit threshold or win back some amount of losses, and I get frustrated by some negative variance preventing that, so I want to RUSH to play more hands quickly and play longer and try to get that result total. Sometimes it can be that I was up early in session, and lost it back, and now I want to try to win a couple quick pots at the end to book a winner and end up forcing the action in a spewy fashion and lose the pots and now I'm in the hole and all of a sudden instead of getting ready to quit I'm frustrated and wanting to grind away until I'm out of the hole. Sometimes I can lose focus during session and check my email or something, and end up misplaying a hand while distracted, and now I'm frustrated at myself and I want to win some pots to "erase" that mistake and get the losses back.

It's all variations on the same theme. When things are good the goal and focus and mindset is doing the best with whatever situations are presented to me, be them long term expected winning or losing spots. When things get bad the goal becomes winning some pots, and that leads to biased decision making and forcing the action, which then leads to self frustration and the cycle escalates and builds. This is why playing long sessions when stuck becomes especially dangerous, and sometimes they end up death spiraling completely out of control. If we do happen to get lucky and win some back in our poor state it's actually quite bad, as it reenforces this poor behavior because we fool ourselves into thinking we "toughed it out", or know we messed up but feel happy and relieved that we "dodged a bullet" or "got away with one", and we become less honest with ourselves about the poor behavior and choices we made.

I'm going to play a live tournament on February 16th.

It's an $1000+100 event at Fallsview as part of their WPT event, with a $1MM gtd.

That's CAD, and the total amount charged to my card was $808.10.

I'm going to sell up to 30% of my action. I'm going to sell at 1.237 markup for ease of calculation, so that 1% is $10. If anyone wants to buy action, PM/Skype/email me. It's first come first serve, you can buy as much or as little as you want (minimum 2%). I'm posting here first, before making a marketplace thread, to see if there is interest here.

You can read about the tournament here:

https://www.fallsviewcasinoresort.com/gaming/poker-room

One nice thing about having a backer is not having to worry about bankroll concerns during times of runbad. It's very mentally comforting to know that regardless of how poorly I run, I won't have to worry about moving down in stakes or dipping into my own personal savings to fund my poker play. It's one of those things you don't really fully appreciate until it comes into play.

You never know when something like this can happen:


10% sold, 20% remaining for the tournament.

Subbed for great thread. I really love the way you approach the game and the mental side of it all.

This part alone has helped me tremendously in the last couple days. Thanks Dan It's the type of advice people tend to ignore but only after you crash and burn do people realize how important it is.

Thanks guys!