Appreciate all the subs and comments and kind words all!

Well guys, I have a great opportunity to practice what I preach in regards to mental game. I find myself in the most makeup I've ever been in, and I'm in the midst of my biggest downswing of my career. On top of that, I've been playing poorly lately and have been prone to spew. Just like at the gym, unless you have resistance to push back against, you can't get stronger. I have to remember that this is all an opportunity for me to grow more as a player and as a person.

I'm disappointed with the amount of spew I've found in recent hands. I'm not really going on crazy tilt, but I end up forcing the action in spots where I should be giving up too often lately, and not making the close folds either. I go through stretches of playing my best and being zoned in, but my tolerance to negative variance is low while in the midst of this downswing and I'm allowing myself to get off track after losing some pots and following the well played losing hands up with some poorly played hands. Also, I've been allowing myself to lose focus midway during session, and becoming reckless in my aggression during periods where I become distracted or unfocused on my play.

When going through a downswing, it's important to be brutally self honest. I've coached many players through downswings, and one thing that is always the same in every big downswing is that the downswing is made significantly worse by poor play somewhere along the line.

When trying to improve a situation, it's also important to set actionable goals. One thing I'm going to do moving forward is significantly limit my session length. For online sessions, I'm going to play for a maximum of ONE HOUR, and then quit no matter how good the games are or how well I feel I'm playing. This will be difficult, but I want to build back up the habit of playing my very best for a time period and then quitting, and then repeating that process over and over. Getting back to optimal play is worth far more to me than the value of staying at a juicy table in the long run, and forcing myself to leave sessions early like this will also de-emphasize my focus on results.

I've less spewy at live, although still not my best, but I'm comfortable with a 3 hour max session length at live. I am getting into the habit of using my mindfulness bell live and journaling, and that's a positive habit to build up.

Also, I want to refocus on actually mentally verbalizing my ranges and the target ranges of my opponents for my various actions at the tables. I've been generally clicking too fast lately, and taking an extra few moments to make sure I'm totally cognizant of ranges and my plan for the hand will benefit me. Too often I've fired out multiple barrels without totally thinking through the parts of my range that make sense to barrel with and the parts of my range to give up with and the parts of my opponents range I expect to continue vs fold.

ACTION PLAN:

- 1 hour max session length online, 3 hours max live session length
- Mindfulness bell and journaling throughout session, every 20 minutes online, every 30 minutes live
- Don't rush through online warmup, and value the importance of the process
- Mentally verbalize my ranges and hand plan and opponent's target ranges

For the short term future, I'm going to post my post session self grades here in the thread after each session as well, as making it public helps add an extra layer of accountability.

By being honest with myself about the things I can improve on, and making a plan of action, I make myself feel more empowered and generally more positive about the future, and my focus shifts away from dwelling on the negative events of the past. All I can do is work hard, and if I make a strong enough effort to do my best I will undoubtedly get my grinding processes back on track and get the results I'm looking for in the long run.

I put in my first short session. I limited this session to 45 minutes as a practice run. I didn't happen to win, but I definitely played at a high level and feel confident and good about both my play and my grinding processes for the session. I left a fish at the table, which was also a good mental exercise for me - as there will always be more fish but in the short term future focusing all my efforts on avoiding spew and playing my very best during the times I'm at the tables is the most important thing.

VT: A-
PF: A
SP: A
GS: B+
TG: A-

Overall solid session and good effort and a good building block going forward.

(Scores are variance tolerance, presence and focus, structure and process, game selection, and technical gameplay).

Put in another short session. Played a just over an hour. Didn't happen to run well but I feel solid about my effort.

VT: A-
PF: A-
SP: A-
GS: B+
TG: A-

As long as I keep putting in these high quality short sessions, I'll build back up the habit of playing my very best and inevitably the results will eventually follow.

Played a second online session, and was happy with my effort. I was stuck early and stayed on point with processes and made a tough bluff catch near the end I felt good about.

VT: A
PF: A
SP: A
GS: B-
TG: A-

I played live this evening, and I got off to a bit of a rocky start. I faced several postflop raises in spots where I think their ranges tend to be quite strong, but I had high in range hands, and I think I ended up folding in a spot I should have called and calling in a spot I should have folded. I was down a bunch, but I was able to regroup and play well and get back on track and I was fortunate to win back most of the loss. I won't be able to play much tomorrow, as I have a couple coachings in the afternoon and dinner plans in the evening, but I should be able to get in at least one morning session.

Put in a quality session this morning. I forgot to sign out of Skype and got a bit distracted at one point, but it was brief. I played my very best technical game today, and felt like I was really thinking through ranges well. I lost a big flip near the end of session, and did a good job of handling it and shaking it off and doing my best for the remaining time I had, and keeping my session length short.

VT: A-
PF: B+
SP: B+
GS: A-
TG: A+

Subbed and gl!

Whenever you've a spare moment, would you mind explaining, a little, each of the these grade categories. "Variance tolerance" and "game selection" would seem self-explanatory, but what about "structure and process", "technical game" and "presence and awareness"? Particularly interested to know how you account for any hindsight bias, as well, i.e. how we'll generally score ourselves higher after winning sessions (or, sometimes, overcompensate, and score ourselves lower than we should).

Did you quit smoking pot for poker reasons or just life in general reasons? Did you find the bud to affect your poker game?

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For structure and process, I mean did I adhere to my mindfulness bell and quickly read through my mental game goals/primer each time it went off and journal my state diligently, or did I reset the bell and think briefly about my state and move on, or did I just reset the bell, or did I just click it off and forget about it. When I felt a bit rattled, did I take a moment and breathe deeply and inject some logic, or did I hunch forward and click faster for the next few minutes. That kind of stuff.

Technical game is how well I feel I played the hands. Sometimes I can be off my mental game, but end up playing the hands all properly simply because the spots were "easy" or I happened to arrive at good decisions for poor reasons, etc. Sometimes I can be fairly on point with my mental game and processes and end up misplaying a few hands not because I was on tilt, but because I reasoned through a spot and after further considering it after the hand realized I had made a mistake.

Presence and focus is how dialed in I am. Am I actively watching all showdowns and taking notes? Am I allowing myself to get distracted by my phone or Skype? Did I check my email during session, or browse the Internet at all?

Of course I'm human and subject to some perception biases on this, but I do my best to remain objective about it.

Both. I have no problem with people smoking pot. To each their own. For me personally, I was not smoking once in a while, it was more of a daily habitual thing. That kind of regular usage was resulting in me spending too much time on the couch/playing games, and generally limiting my overall motivation. There's nothing wrong with valuing your free time and enjoyment, but I reached a point where trying to be my best version of myself and doing my best professionally and also personally with things like fitness became more important to me. In terms of how it affects poker, you are less likely to put in away from the table study hours when you are smoking a lot, and are also less likely to be quite as razor sharp mentally during. It doesn't prevent you from being a winning player, but it's an impairment, it's just a matter of how much.

Finished another short session, and I got beat up pretty badly. I made a few thin bluffcatches in large or medium pots, and lost them all. In all spots I though them through, reasoned their value betting ranges were narrow and their potential bluffing ranges were fairly wide and I had a top or range hand or good blockers and ended up clicking call. I ran into the nuts each time. Near the end of session I got in AKs AIPF btn v blind vs KK and lost, and quit shortly after as my time was up and I was down 3.5BI and it was time to call it a wrap. I'm happy that I didn't chase the loss and quit appropriately, and I feel I did a pretty good job of regroup after the losses and continuing to think things through, but I'm not sure if I will love all my bluff catches in hindsight.

VT: B+
PF: A
SP: B+
GS: B
TG: B+

After getting beat up earlier, I forced myself to take a break for 1.5 hours, and did some chores around the house and shoveled the driveway, etc. When I was feeling good and calm again, I put in another hour session. I played well in this session, and happened to win back a chunk of what I lost earlier. After winning some early pots, I started to get fixated on getting back to even for the day, but recognized it and corrected the thought process. Near the end of session I think I started to force it just a little bit in a couple small pots, but I reigned it in quickly and quit appropriately at the scheduled time. The final pots may have been OK too and I just happened to lose them and wasn't thrilled to lose some money at the end.
VT: A-
PF: A-
SP: A-
GS: B+
TG: B+

Put in another short session. Played well and weathered some early bad beats and booked a small win.
VT:A-
PF: A
SP: A
GS: A
TG: A-
I'm pleased with how I responded from a rough session this morning. In the past after losing 3k+ in my first hour of play in the day, it has resulted in spewy behavior. Today, thanks to adherence to good processes, I came back and put in two more short sessions and was able to play well in each and make a bit of a comeback instead of spewing it up into a huge loss.

Will follow VT is low here :/ GL

Thanks very much for explaining these categories. I really like how "structure and process" is pre-emptive in its design. I assume your "presence and focus" triggers are different in a live context, where there's a stronger social and conversational element to the game. In respect of hindsight bias, it would be interesting to have someone "sweat" you and then compare their grades for a session with yours.
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Just remember that it is a skillset that can be improved, and every bad beat is an opportunity to improve your ability to handle it and regroup more quickly than you did the last time.

Good session of live this evening. I played a bit longer than planned, but not too much longer. On the whole I feel good about my play and effort today. After starting the day 3600 in the hole, I was able to finish -400 on the day, which is nice, but more importantly I was able to shake off the early negative variance effectively after a break, and put in several more hours of playing well and thinking well and not chasing losses. Going to try to play some tomorrow morning, then tomorrow late afternoon and evening I'm going out with my girlfriend to see The Big Short then out to dinner at JoJo's then back home to watch some Making a Murderer.

Good effort in my first morning session today. Happened to run well, which was fortunate, and also played well and put in a good effort. I did a good job of avoiding winner's tilt and sticking with the program after winning a couple big early pots. I got distracted momentarily a couple times but quickly regrouped.
VT: A-
PF: A-
SP: A
GS: A-
TG: A-

Subbed the thread, great results last year!

are you going to post any hands? because just reading about your session and your review of yourself doesn't say much to me.. I'd love to see some 5-10 action hands

Another solid session. I was up during session and I got a bit too cautious in some spots, I think because I was afraid of losing back the winnings given the recent downswing. I recognized it and did a good job of getting back on track.
VT: A-
PF: A-
SP: A-
GS: B+
TG: B+

Put in another quality session. Good day for me today. I went a bit too long in my last session, but I played well and stuck to good processes and quit appropriately at the end.
VT: A
PF: B+
SP: B+
GS: A
TG: A-
It's nice to book a big winner, but more importantly I avoided winner's tilt and was able to stay on point by keeping with professional habits.

High quality session this morning. I was diligent in my game selection and good about my focus and process and technical game and variance tolerance. A grades all the way around. I also cut it off right at an hour to stick even though there was a short stacked fish left, which I feel good about since I was fading mentally and also had a planned schedule today so I'm glad I stuck with the plan.

OKish online session today. I happened to run well, but I didn't play my best. I got a bit spewy/overaggro in a couple spots. However, I did do a good job of recognizing the mistakes and working to quickly regroup and get back on track. It's important to realize there are always going to and endless stream of things to get me off my A game, be it variance or distractions or otherwise, so it's important that I keep improving my ability to quickly regroup and get back to doing my best. I did well with my general processes today, I just happened to make a couple poor decisions in the moment, not really due to lack of process or focus, but moreso I think trying to force a win.
VT: B
PF: A
SP: A
GS: A
TG: B

I'm not familiar with winner's tilt. I assume it means when you're winning, you aren't playing your A-game. Could you confirm this or elaborate? Thanks.

Btw, great posts & really inspiring.

Winner's tilt is when you aren't playing your best as a result of how you are affected by positive variance. This usually goes one of two ways:

1) You start too feel like you can't lose, and end up playing too loose/splashy/gambley.

2) You start to feel afraid of losing back your profits, and get into a defensive shell.

Both are harmful to our winrates. Most players have experienced both of these symptoms at various times. It's important to stay self aware of your current state throughout the time you are at the tables.