I always toyed with the idea of making a thread here but never could quite bring myself to click the 'New Thread' button. I finally decided to commit because my motivation to put in hours has been waning a bit as of late (not for lack of passion for poker which would be forgivable but out of sheer laziness which is not) and I'm hoping this will help keep me accountable.

Beyond my posting of hours played and results for the month I'll inject some observations here and there regarding live poker as a subculture, some of the idiosyncrasies of life as a 'professional poker player', and perhaps a little strategy although I kind of hate reciting hand histories so I'll probably just talk in broad terms instead.

Main game is deep-stacked 5/10 NL, with some 10/20 here and there as well as some 2/5 NL or 2/5 PLO when nothing else is running. I'd like to keep my anonymity so I'd rather not say what casino/area I play in.

Year to Date



So far having about an average/bit below average year, had a rough stretch to start and made zero money until halfway through March so I've been making up lost ground since.

Hours played in August: 56
Results: +$5327

I'll try to update this at least twice a month, if you guys have any questions I'd be glad to do my best to answer them.

Definitely following, I play 1-2 and I want to reach those stakes. GL!

subbed. Good luck.

Hours played since last update: 39
Results since last update: +13,045

Total hours in August: 95
Total results: +18372

Year to Date



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I used to love xkcd back in the day but haven't read it in awhile. I saw this one randomly today and got a kick out of it, not only because of how true it is in general but because of how especially accurate it is for a poker room:

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on live poker in general, will be following. Best of luck!

“He’s good”

“He’s awful”

“He’s sick!”

“He’s breakeven, maybe a small winner at best”

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In any live poker community it’s pretty much accepted that everyone talks about everyone and rates everyone else. Whenever a new player shows up at the stakes I play at, he’s instantly being talked about by my friends and I (who is this guy? Did he crush online? Is he a sicko from Vegas on a trip? Or is he just on a sick heater and we simply haven’t seen him showdown any of his blow-ups yet). And I of course have to accept that my friends have talked about me both when I was first new to the casino I play at and still now to this day. It’s certainly not exclusive to poker since it’s such a human tendency, but in poker it seems far more explicit and magnified than in any other subculture I’ve been exposed to.

From an outsider’s perspective it probably makes poker players look like a bunch of gossipy bitches, but it really is perfectly natural considering the nature of being a poker player – you’re constantly scanning the other people at your table and adding to your internal database. Either you’re trying to figure out the fish as quickly as possible, or you’re keeping track of the hands that other pros play for future reference/whether they’ve changed anything in their game. So I don’t actually think the above is really all that avoidable (even though it’s definitely at least a little unhealthy), since it’s probably impossible to crush poker while simultaneously keeping that kind of mindset from bleeding over to at least some degree into the social aspect of live poker.

However, when you add in the cocktail of deep insecurity and a desperate desire for validation that a LOT of live pros have in spades, then things start to get much more poisonous. The biggest winners become targets of constant resentment, while those not at the top come up with delusional justifications for why they aren’t anywhere near the same peaks. The one time someone makes a big mistake in a large pot becomes emblematic of their entire game rather than the fact that they’re a very good player who had a rare misstep.

I have to say I’ve definitely been guilty of this. A lot of people I’m friendly with now I vividly remember kind of hating at first because they had the gall to be very good at poker while at the same table as me. It faded quickly the second I realized that a.) they’re actually pretty cool, and b.) it’s probably moreso that I knew deep down that I wasn’t really quite sure or confident in what I was doing back then and I was projecting that subconscious insecurity outward.

I guess where I’m going with this is that while live poker is always going to be an inherently venomous culture for far too many reasons to list, the best way to keep yourself from being poisoned is to at least be aware of the reasons people say the things they say or think the things they think. It’s going from not knowing why you act a certain way to at least becoming aware of the underlying reasons why it happens, so that you now have a choice whether to keep perpetuating it or not.

Although, I must say, this only works if you have a capacity for shame. Most poker players…don’t.

do you have a side job?

What app are you using?

Nope
Poker Income Pro

Excellent post, did not disappoint!

(a day in the life)

Ready to head out, I re-check Bravo and see that 5/10 is running but that there’s four names on the list. I know at this point that it could either be a full game with four people waiting, or it could be a five handed game with a bunch of call-ins. Either way I still call my name in and head over, arriving at the front entrance of the casino.

There’s a bunch of slot machines en route – I activate my carefully honed ability to selectively ignore the sad people lighting their savings/social security on fire. While occasionally a wave of depression comes over me despite these efforts, this time I’m able to successfully make my way to the poker room without getting too bummed out.

I manage to quickly get a seat and sit down. While I’m buying chips I’m jolted with surprise by the dealer talking directly to me and asking me if I want to swipe in despite it being my eight jillionth session at this point and there's no reason I shouldn't have already pre-emptively thrown it to him. I scramble to get my wallet out of my pocket where my player’s card is and get swiped in. I then glance at where the blinds are and do the internal struggle of whether to post or wait till the big blind. I decide to wait the four hands and figure I have time to quickly go to the bathroom to pee which I for some reason didn’t do while walking to the poker room despite passing three bathrooms on the way in. I get back a second too late to play the big blind and realize there’s no way in hell I’m waiting another orbit to play so I end up just buying the button instead while swearing internally, as my feeble attempt to maximize my EV has been rendered completely pointless.

I open my first pot in mid position with AJo, slightly uncomfortable as it always sucks to get 3bet your very first hand when you don’t have a premium (and even with a premium I’m a little antsy). Folds around to the blinds who both call, somehow giving me position in the hand. As the dealer burns and readies the flop I quickly recheck my cards and whisper in my head ace of clubs jack of hearts ace of clubs jack of hearts like some demented mantra even though I know deep down that it’s completely unnecessary since this is lollive poker and that both blinds are too fishy to notice if I do have to recheck my cards for their suits later on in the hand.

The flop comes 456 rainbow and I’ve already mentally checked out and am ready to move on unless I turn a jack or an ace. We check through, the small blind leads half pot on a 9 turn and I fold so quickly that I’m already on my phone before the dealer has finished pulling my mucked cards in.

One of the fish banters with me and I make some auto-piloted, pre-scripted response which generates a laugh before zoning out again and going back to pondering where exactly the Demogorgon came from in Stranger Things and if it’s going to be redesigned in any way for Season 2.

A different fish banters with me and this guy I actually genuinely like so I think hard to try to come up with a witty response, but I only get a mild chuckle and the dreaded, verbalized “That’s funny” in return. Damnit.

I squeeze K6s on the button because what the eff how have I not gotten a real hand yet. The original raiser tanks and ice water floods my nerves even though I’m overrolled for these stakes and know he’s folding 80+% of the time and only 4betting with KK+. He finally throws his cards in after some consideration as does the player in the middle and I happily rake in the pot.

I then play a big pot where I flop two pair on J96hh and get it in vs a reg who way over values top pair/overpairs, turn 5 river Ah and I flip my cards over first even though I called him, partially because I’m being courteous since I think I almost always have him beat despite the river and partially because holy crap show me your freakin’ cards dude did I win or did I lose don’t leave me in this terrifying state of uncertainty. Thankfully he re-squeezes and re-checks his cards approximately eighty million times before finally mucking and I’m pushed the pot.

Around 1:15 am I get exhausted and since the game is no longer particularly all that good I decide to quit. However, since there’s still fifteen minutes left in this half and I have an unhealthy fixation on maximizing my EV I force myself to play until 1:30 even though my brain has the processing power of a potato battery at this point. I end up losing a bunch of small pots and drop an additional 800 before the half finally ends and I book it out of there.

Hours played since last update: 17
Results since last update: +2497

Total hours in August: 112
Total results in August: +20869

Year to Date



Barely played this last week and despite a good showing financially I definitely should have gotten at least another twenty hours in this month - hoping to make up for it and get some serious hours in during September!

Great post

I often find I myself am guilty of this, particularly the labelling of regs who make a mistake in a big pot once, and labelling them as a fishreg forever.

I do kinda find this atmosphere of not making mistakes as motivational. Call it what you will but the accountability of making a mistake in front of peers (who we all agree are judgemental) encourages me to always make sure the decisions I make are my best.

Don't wanna be seen as a fishreg, far too big of an ego for that!

Subbed

Good thread so far. Regarding gossip, regs should really make it a point not to talk about other players while at a table. It creates a bad environment and can also seem threatening to rec players. They hear regs talking about how bad so and so is and they know when they leave the same guys will be talking about him behind his back.

in glgl

what do you consider overrolled for deep 5/T games? I feel like you need to have $30k just for 5/T if buying in for anything over $2k

Callins aren't shown on Bravo. Once they checkin they are added to the "Current Waiting List" portion. GL

I'd imagine it differs for everyone but I define overrolled as having enough money that you could have the absolute worst downswing/breakeven stretch of your life, one that's more than twice as bad as your previous biggest downturn with black swan levels of torture for many months on end, and at your lowest point still be able to easily pay all your bills while not needing to move down in limits. So, a LOT more than $30k.

Total hours played since last update: 63
Results since last update: +6063

Year to Date



Managed to get over the 100k mark for the year. Well, to be more specific, I got over the 100k mark then quickly fell back under 100k then got back over 100k and then back down then back up (it was a swingy few weeks).

happy 100k :P

I love reading you. More pls

Love the way you write. Good luck.

(the danger of rationalizations)

Here’s the thing about poker that we tend to forget after years of grinding – losing hurts. A lot. Like, a whole lot. Yes, a seasoned pro is able to easily brush off even the most ridiculous of beats, but for newcomers to the game literally 100% of them after experiencing their first big suckout will either say something disparaging to the other player (“What did you think I have?”), calculate their equity when the money went in to make themselves feel better, or give their first bad beat story in an attempt to get sympathy from someone who probably doesn’t really care. Some people are able to quickly overcome this kind of mindset and realize they should focus on the things they can control rather than the things out of their control. But why bother doing that when it’s so much easier to just lie to yourself?

Just convince yourself that you’d win all the time if it wasn’t for people sucking out on you. That the pros are only a tiny bit better than you, and for the most part they’re just getting lucky. That you do well enough for yourself at 2/5, and that the people playing bigger are just egotistically passing money back and forth.

This doesn’t stop when you finally become a winning player. Your excuses just evolve, into rationalizations. And (I’m stealing this from The War of Art), what makes rationalizations so much more dangerous than excuses is that rationalizations are based in some aspect of truth. The fish WOULD just lose their money to someone else, so it’s easy to tell yourself not to feel bad. There COULD be another boom, whether from online coming back or casinos opening up in untapped areas. Or the most dangerous rationalization of them all: you DESERVE a beatable game, and poker is worth saving.

Even I’m guilty of it. It's true that I made this thread because I want to keep myself accountable in getting hours in, but I’d be lying if I denied that part of the reason that I started this thread was so I could broadcast my success (albeit in an anonymous way), even though I know it doesn’t matter/many people are far more successful than me. And I do want to share my writing and spread some of the wisdom I’ve accrued playing this strange game, but I also get a rush out of it when people think I’m smart and compliment me for my keen insight. Rationalizations are part of being human, so don’t beat yourself up too much if you find yourself guilty of needing them. Even after Aesop wrote a fable about the fox and the grapes that were too high so the fox just decided to be a bitch and convince himself the grapes were probably sour, I bet Aesop still had pangs of jealousy when Socrates was crushing it and there was some ugly part of him that tried to convince himself Socrates was just a gigantic luckbox. I really do believe that people should live their lives the way they see fit – just don’t live it blindly, that's all.

Wow, a couple of exceptional posts in here so far. Keep it up.

This guy can write and obviously play too...this thread is going to be epic! already is epic!