Aside from how good the waitresses ass looks in that skirt, what things do you think about at the poker table (concerning poker specifically)?

Who's the weakest and how am I to target them

How I'm going to exploit each specific villain.

How bored I am.

And how depressing it is to be around so many degenerates.

How much longer the waitress is gonna take

Ifthis dealer tells me to get off the phone one more time I'm gonna freak

Thankgod my gfs not with me

1) am i playing well? am i putting people on ranges? do i need a break / food / walk / pushups/ peptalk?

2) do my opponents play exploitably? too tight / loose / aggro / weak / pushing draws / scared of overpairs / don't respect position / see me as bluffy or tight or weak / have some known, useful tell?

3) what are the correct adjustments to make for my given situation? cbet bigger / XR more / 3bet light / call 3bets less / 4b more /

1. Every action and stack sizes

2. Assign ranges for each action.

3. Pay attention to detail

4. Come up with individual plans on how to stack my opponents.

5. Table talk

6. Table dynamics, if they change, very rarely that happens though.

7. Look at peoples reactions when they look at they're cards, or when dealer peels flops, turn and river.

8. My image

9. What my opponents think I think they have.

10. I hope that I win the bad beat jack pot, or get a table share lol

Hookers and blow

Qft

Rolled up aces over kings. Check-raising stupid tourists and taking huge pots off of them. Playing all-night high-limit Hold'em at the Taj, "where the sand turns to gold." Stacks and towers of chips I can't even see over.

I just think about who the good players are, who the bad players are, who is scared maney, who is the gambler, who is on tilt, PF raising ranges, if they pump draws, if they play em passively...

Trying to forget about how I ended up in a cab with a tranny the night before.

Laughing about how I ended up in a cab with a tranny the night before.

Freaking out hoping I don´t end up in a cab with a tranny like the night before.

Depends- last night I was thinking: man I'm tired I don't want to be here these guys are horrible calling stations, this isn't even poker, wow I just lost $700 in 1/2 in 2 hours

When I'm winning: how am I breathing, how did that guy react to losing that pot, who is stuck? I breathe in I breathe out, man I'm lucky I get to play in this game with 8 stations I can relentlessly vbet, how nice of this guy to buy my girlfriend a sushi dinner, how am I going to stack each player, I am aware that I am breathing now, I breathe in I breathe out

I think it's been 3 months since I watched it last... Due for a screening

+1, along with wishing the guy across from me would have spent more of his money on dental hygiene and less on the above.

I'm thinking "I'm going to outplay this guy. This hand."

OK my Rounders quoting sucks. Usually I just think nit, fish, fish, fish, decent, TAG, nit, fish, LAG, and constantly looking for things that tell me these reads might be wrong.

Other than that I have fun looking for physical tells.

I just sit down and assume every body to be weak/tight fish and go from there. I polarize ranges very hard if the table dynamic calls for it.

I also buy in half stack or 1/3 stack initially to feel things out. If I don't think things are ideal, I transfer as much as I can to find the right table. This way, I can play lots of hands and hedge my risk against the unexpected shark.

I usually experience two types of play: either reckless/agressive or weak tight, so in either case you are playing two completely different games, and you have to make sure your mind is taking that into account.

If I find a table with a lot of weak players, I plan to stay as long as possible, polarize ranges, and make a lot of easy money. In the that case I find a table with a lot of recklessness, I also plan to stay as long as possible, but with the intention of playing much trappier.

In essence, during every hand, I'm always thinking "What's the most ideal situations to get into with said villain?" If I am constantly thinking that the table is unprofitable in any sense, I leave after I have scoped things out. For me, in every situation, It really comes down to "Where am I making money?" If it is not in that situation, I fold. If it's not at that table, I get the hell out.

am i playing tight enough

am i still playing tight enough

have these ******s loosesned me up yet?

how about now

i don't think i'm still playing tight enough but im bored

Vegas and the ****ing Mirage.


No seriously, it's usually wondering why the hell the guy next to me is eating chicken fingers with his bare hands.

1. First I start by labelling each player as loose or tight.
- Those who play almost every hand are loose.
- Those who fold almost every hand are tight.

2. Then I label each person as passive or aggressive.
- If they check and call, they are passive.
- If they bet and raise, they are aggressive.

3. Then I study the player's shown cards at showdown to see if they are weak or strong.
- If they are calling with weak hands or bad odds, they are weak.
- If they are playing tricky, trappy, or smart, they are strong.

4. I closely watch the expression and body language of those involved in pots, to see if they have any observable tells. I watch most often their eyes and hands when flop/turn/river fall. If they make any abnormal movement and that corresponds with something significant in their hand at showdown, I use that to my advantage.

5. I stare my opponents in the eyes when I am in a hand with them, they usually are intimidated and refuse to look at me during hands. This makes it easier for me to study them and find tells.
- If they decide to look me in the eye, I give them a big smile, raise my eyebrows a few times, then go back to my solemn frown. This usually creeps them out and stops them from looking at me.

what the next smartass s%$& that i'm going to post in this forum is.

how to best dodge the friffin profanity filters.

Honestly, a lot of what I'm thinking is "Wow these people are such idiots" then thinking about how I feel bad for thinking such mean thoughts. I try not to. But they dont make it easy.

Last week there was a hand between this bad LAG kid and this Middle Aged Lawyer.

MAL opens
LAG 3bets
MAL calls

Flop: A-K-3

MAL checks, LAG cbets 3/4 pot

At this point MAL tanks forever and starts saying to the LAG kid "You have pocket 7s dont u? I know u have pocket 7s!" Then finally the MAL puts in a c/r.

The kid says "You were right," and folds 77 face up.

The MAL goes "I knew it! I knew u had pocket 7s!" and then he tables AK.

I, not being able to help myself, say to the MAL "If you knew he had 77 why would u want to raise him off his hand?"

And the MAL responds (very forcefully) "Because I dont want him to hit a 7! This game is all luck you know!"

I say "Fair enough" and go back to being quiet.

Then the inner conflict begins. On the one hand I feel privledged to be sitting in a game this amazingly good. On the other hand I feel sorry for how dumb these people are. Then I feel guilty for thinking of them as being dumb. Then I feel like by playing in this game I am doing something immoral. Maybe not immoral, but unfair. Like playing tackle football vs toddlers or something. I feel so sorry for Mr. MAL's real life clients. I dunno... live poker can be sad.

Apart from the waitresses.... oh yes the waitresses... I'm constantly profiling people.

Villain A: Limps for €5 (straddle) always calls 4/5 x €5 raise.
Villain 2: Over values TPTK.
Villain 3: Any Ace will do.
Villain 4: Over values suited aces.
Villain 4: Always bets if checked to on the turn.
Villain 5: Raises with suited rubbish.
Villain 6: Donks with air.
Villain 7: Doesn't raise with premium pairs.
Villain 8: Flush/straight/gutshot chaser at any cost.
Villain 9: Shoves/Squeezes 100 to 150 BB's with AK.
Villain T: Stacks off with JJ's & QQ's
Villain J: Only stacks off with KK & AA.
Villain Q: Classic call station.
Villain K: Nit.

Some really incredible posts in this thread thanks everyone. I will try to add some things which people haven't talked about later, one thing I love doing is reviewing hands players have played that session mentally when I look at them. Helps me remember who they are. Following the action closely and guessing what people have is great also obviously.

If I'm "on" I'm thinking about stacks, position, reads, ranges, hand, decision.

More often I'm thinking about what I want to eat next, or maybe I'm just thirsty, hmmmmmm.

How can I drown out all of the other clowns at the table talking about percentages...