A seriously badly played hand. But it did happen. And I would like some people to tell me how bad I am.

As a side note, I will be staying at 1-2NL for a while after running piss-poor at 2-5 for a bit, because I think that a series of coolers has really altered the way I'm playing.

I like to play 2 kings this way sometimes pre-flop to try to CRAI on just about any board to try to get more value from lower PPs and AK. But here, meh, it just looks like I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.

2-5 NL at Mohegan again. Different day, still early at table, so no real reads on button except that he's been winning a bunch of hands so far, all with
good hands... Showed down KK so far where he made a bigger than
average PF raise and took it down on the flop uncontested, and also
made a straight in one hand and bet it hard when he hit it. He's been
running well, haven't seen any bluffs yet.

EP old man, very tight, minraises to 10. One caller, and then
Button raises to $75. I'm in the BB with KK, have about 550 to start
the hand and he covers. I think think think and then just call. (Again, my
thought was to CRAI most flops, but this seems silly now.)

BB calls the $75 as well.

Flop is Q 9 8 with 2 spades. SB and BB check, Button thinks for about
half a second and says 'I'm all in.'

WTF? F my life?

calling KK OOP in pot that is likely to get multiway is really not a good idea. also, the BU raise could be interpreted as a sort of steal so its a good spot to 3bone here. and why do you think that you get more value from AK post than pre really is beyond me...

yeah you screwed yourself smoothcalling. You said "BB calls as well" but you said you were in the BB so i'm assuming you meant the orig raiser calls as well. It would help if you told us how much the orig raiser had because if he has more than you then he's risking more than 475. Its tough to even give you feedback on the hands you've posted because you've put yourself in such odd situations. TBQH I think he either has JJ or AA or KK (obv rare). I don't think he's just moving in if he has QQQ and I would hope he's not dumb enough to spew with AK on this flop with 2 players. I'd flip a coin heads I call tails I muck

he prolly has AQ a bunch imo your under repped so just call it off and don't get yourself in this spot again!!
there are times were cold smoothing a 3 bet pre with KK is totally the best play but in this spot it is borderline attrocious. when OOP your default shud be to 4 bet or just jam and try make it look like a steal

Playing ABC wins the money at 2/5NL.

this is a serious cat

This is a gift IMO. U played horribly and now the button is allowing you to potentially make a big score by making a donk play (i bet he has AK). Only danger is if BB woke up with a set or JT...sure, all sets and AA are in buttons range, but your hand is so under-repped that you have to call.