fun fact, he was one of ze germans, grew up speaking English and kraut in NYC

trains to be a bomber pilot for the European theater, finishes training

someone notices they are sending a guy with a very, very german name out to bomb germany, wonders if he's possibly a double agent

so he got reassigned to the pacific

my soon to be ex wife's GrandFathers were both Hun too. I should have thought more deeply on this fact and realised that one day she would set up a complex system of private bank accounts to funnel my hard earned $$ into to hide her growing coke and booze addictions

Hody chit. I know you said "Leaving Las Vegas" bad, but I had always wondered how bad it got. This is pretty bad. Glad you're heading towards a better era. Glglgl mate!!

when i got divorced one of the more practical things on my mind was that my finances could hurt, my biggest expense of rent was still going to be the same as before, i'd be eating out a lot more, i'd be heading out to date/drink with friends a lot more, etc etc etc

so major costs would stay the same and the buying groceries for 1 was severely offset by fact that bars/restaurants are a lot pricier than groceries

and meanwhile, the pool of money which we had available was now dropping by about 40% - we never got around to joint bank accounts yet but had essentially been living as if our finances were one and same for many years - i never viewed things as my money or her money - it was our money

lo and behold but my bank balance starting growing at new levels after we split, and not just by a small amount either - by significant margins that couldn't possibly be explained by things like basic clothes/food/travel expenses

she also claimed that our savings which was under accounts under her name was about 30% of what I had ballparked - she claimed that we had to draw down on it at times which is 100% a lie and something i would have remembered discussing/doing - not to mention that not once were we ever in a difficult financial situation where that would have been necessary - i didn't believe her, we went to the bank together, took a look, they showed the withdrawals and remaining amount and we just closed it then and thereand she still insisted that she got half of it despite that not only was it clear she stole the remainder but that I'd been the one contributing the lions share to begin with - forget what we eventually negotiated but neither side was happy and it wasn't enough to where a lawsuit would make sense as then legal fees would eat up any funds recovered

the only conclusion i can draw is that was squirreling money away and into secret accounts - we were living in a cash economy where the largest bill is $13.50 (it's now cashless, was incredible how fast they went digital but back then everything was cash, even rent payments which happened in 3 month tranches so would regularly fill a bag with bricks of cash to go pay rent every few months) so it was standard to withdraw several hundred dollars in one go at an atm where you'd have a huge pile of bills, throw it in a drawer in your bedroom and then pull from that drawer until it was empty and once empty refill it - even if she was never contributing the pile (as i thought she was) but only withdrawing money needed for daily expenses, the gap in what we'd been spending vs what I personally spent was significant to where she was either secretly buying luxury goods and hiding them in a storage unit or the much more probable that she was taking out cash and putting into a bank account

the wildest thing about it is she had no need to do that, she never drank or used drugs and was an oligarch's daughter, her dad is worth hundreds of millions - she never wanted her dad's money and was always refusing it - he wanted to buy us a house and wanted to give us each a car when we got married but she refused as she wanted independence - so i can see how stealing from me would be better than asking her dad for money, but she also made a decent salary herself

entire thing was just mind boggling and she insisted to the end that she never stole a dime

So... just got back at 2am from 6 days in NYC with Mrs Breeze... cliffs on the last week?

I'd rather hear about your NYC trip. Where did you eat, what pizza place(s) did you try, and did you try any good local beer?

sabr has reestablished the fact that morans play 5$ blind games and they hate $
bitches b crazy on an array of levels
good pow in colorado last week

sadly, as I am discovering...it isn't stealing. It was her money. Her spending xx times more than you, doing it secretly and deceptively isn't a thing you have recourse to. In most marriages at least.

when i confronted my wife about it she said she would pay me back once we have agreed the final financial settlement, so I am going to go through 5 years of bank transactions to get to a final figure (once I get access to the hidden and closed accounts she was using) but...we'll see if her lawyer allows her to do that once it comes down to it

Also....wtf to marrying a rich bitch and not getting access to daddy's money??

Sounds like you may find that $7k-$10k needed to get you to Vegas, Fw

What I’m finding are massive unpaid tax bills and significant transfers from my business account to her personal accounts!

yeah that's basically how she viewed it - it's how i viewed it too back when i thought the money was being spent together on things we were both aware of

in hindsight i feel dumb, "how could you not notice all that money being spent so quickly" and a big part was that I was making far more than i needed, everything felt like monopoly money, and i just never in a million years would have assumed she was siphoning off funds secretly

just randomly both my long term relationships were with extremely high net worth women - kind of tends to happen as an expat because you are hanging out in the more international/cosmopolitan parts of the city and gravitating towards what are traditionally western style socializing

asians tend to be very xenophobic and private in general so as a foreigner, you're really only interacting with:

1) people making money off you
2) people who want to practice their English
3) people who spent enough time abroad long enough to have fun hanging out with a foreigner
4) impoverished village women searching for a green card

as I'm a total snob and only wanted to date women who did interesting things, 4 almost rarely interacted/dated with category 4


for example, that apartment I'm talking about was the top floor of a downtown apartment that had a door leading out to a private rooftop about the size of a basketball court - so i thus hosted many parties and BBQs there

inviting Chinese friends and colleagues was like pulling teeth - they'd always show up very early, bring gifts, and never quite felt natural nor understood how it was supposed to work - quite a few assumed it was an intimate gathering and the idea of being up on a rooftop surrounded by 90% stranger and then socializing with them was just untenable - most stood around awkwardly and then left early - if i got them playing beirut they usually stayed for a bit as one can imagine as a ping pong sport they are naturally quite good, surprisingly so

tl:dr - you mostly socialize with asians who had spent time going to school abroad - asians who went abroad paying 80k+ a year in tuition and expenses over choosing a 1k a year local college tuition are all going to be from very wealthy families

in both cases i left the relationship far poorer than when i began it and there were zero benefits from the wealth, if anything it was a major problem because very late in the relationships it became revealed, they were now worried that I was into them for the money - which is just beyond dumb because i was already living with both long before i had any idea what their parents had - ie there's a spectrum between parents make 250k a year and planned accordingly to send their daughter to college abroad vs parents who are multimillionaires

the latter one (which never went to a marriage) even offered me 100k to break up with her, idk if it was a real offer, i think it was more of a test, idk, i often wonder what if i just said yes (but still 99.99% sure would have never seen it) - i know it's this cliche thing from movies etc, but it didn't feel real but more like a trap, now had there been a duffel bag full of cash on the table as part of that offer i would have obviously picked it up and left in a heartbeat

as you can imagine, the "I'll give you 100k if you break up with" is a major red flag of major issues that you're going to have to endure later down the road and in the future if it ever happens again, that's my sign to bail, with or without the presence of the duffel bag

sadly my wife will be getting far more than that when we break up

oh man, i should have dated you instead

but at least from my experience (possibly due to cultures or being a guy) i never had gifts or luxuries lavished upon me as the cliche goes

there was some free spending at times, but it was never something of my choosing nor that i materially benefitted from - most common variant was tossing out clothes of mine she didn't like and replacing them with something she bought - it wasn't a gift but rather a replacement

and there was always a little bit of an awkward social dynamic where there were things she wanted to do (not me, she) at times that i couldn't rationally afford to partake in but she'd insist i join her and then the next time when that happens because I technically could afford it, if i don't pay for this 5 star hotel that i have no interest in staying at then i'm just the leech

lifestyle wise, preferred the one who never touched dads money where we lived 100% regular lives over the one who did occasionally treat money like it was meaningless ainec - just never was truly her peer due to the gap

Fascinating stuff rickroll. I married my wife when we were both broke and she earns well these days, not quite as well as I do although there were many years when she led the marriage earning by 20%. All finances combined from day 0. We are aligned on spending and savings. Maybe it will stay that way. Good luck everybody else!

I do think 'attitude to money' is one of the key things to align in a marriage/relationship. Ironically, the wife and I were aligned for most of our time together but the past 5 years she's changed totally in that regard...mainly in line with her addiction/mental health etc.

we went into marriage with me earning approx 60% more than her and having two investment properties. Over the past 20 years I would guess I've brought in 85% of all income...maybe more tbh as she had more than 10 year career break and has returned to work in a role paying way less than she was on before kids. So currently her job is approx 20% of combined income. But...with 20+ years together, the origin of the $$ doesn't matter in a settlement and I will be very lucky to escape with 50% of the combined wealth. It's more likely to be 45%

Apologies if you've answered before, but what was/is the addiction?

I’ve been aware that she’s been an alcoholic for the past 2 years at least with it developing the two years before that. But it’s recently become apparent that she was hiding a significant coke addiction for several years too.

Hiding both in terms of usage/behaviour but also paying for it (and it’s really ****ing expensive here - $300/350 AUD per gram)

I see.

And damn I can get an 8-ball for that money! Being close to Mexico helps haha.

seems more swiss

I think some of the Palestinian protestors want to riot but can't commit to violence. It looks like a passive-aggressive insurgency.


Better Call Saul, err I mean JM3. ONly half-joking. The common law in family is the last thing to change because no legislature wants to touch it. I sometimes read opinions from elsewhere in your empire and it usually would be the same.

The most legally opaque case I have is this widow who thinks her decedent husband is the owner of a business where he was officially an employee. Allegedly, he went to work for this other man (auto repair) to hide assets for their impending divorce. Problem, the business was set up correctly with no mention of husband as owning a stake. He had a coke habit and died in a motorcycle accident.

I'm getting a legal opinion tomorrow. Not spending money on lawyers is the #1 advice from literally everyone I know who has separated from their spouse and we are going through a Mediation process which will hopefully lead to fair outcomes but I definitely will go into that process knowing what the range of outcomes are and what I can justifiably push for

perhaps one of the bloodsucking lawyers may have a different opinion

but I'm of the belief that you should get a ballpark estimate for the cost of legal fees - triple that

then consider if you win, will you get a significant return on that investment - it needs to be a home run because there's always a risk you lose and the most likely outcome where you get something very similar to if you'd not gone the legal route


had two family members recently squabble over the personal items of an estate, things like lamps and dishes etc - the will clearly said that one of them should distribute the items as they felt was fair, the other one said that it wasn't done fairly - both sides fought it with their own lawyer who both said that they had a good and just case (obv because they are scum sucking lawyers) - since they were being paid out of the estate, it didn't feel like real money to either side since they weren't paying for it out of pocket - judge ruled that fairness was subjective and basically same outcome as if it was never contested in court

everyone ended up receiving about 20% of the money they were earmarked for out of the estate because it all went to the bloodsucking lawyers

like i literally want to sue both those lawyers... but therein lies the problem that i'd require the services of a lawyer to do so


but I'm sure the lawyers in the thread are ok people despite doing the devil's work

I had an hour right at the beginning with a divorce lawyer just to understand the process etc and she was $660ph. That was enough to persuade me that avoiding lawyers as much as possible was the best outcome. Albeit, to your point given our settlement will be dividing several million $$ a small win or loss can result in 5 figures.

the Mediation process here is run by a third party. they have a structure around child supervision, financial split, maintenance etc that is guided by the law and likely outcomes. So in an ideal world you get to a fair split of $$ and responsibilities via the Mediators and than you each get that ratified by your lawyers and then it gets signed and agreed.

I think the danger is when the lawyers review what you've agreed via this process and then persuade one or both parties to argue for/push for more. Hopefully it won't come to that but...I'm guessing it won't be totally amicable.

I know what I want to get out of it and that I want to be fair. The challenge will come if she lases back into drinking and the rest, in which case I will push for full custody and it could get really messy

we'll see. the process is just starting now and prolly has 3-4 months

****, glgl

if you fly to vegas and degen away then there's less to lose in arbitration... think about it

Ok, but prepare to be disappointed. We're NOT food savants. Simple is better. Mrs. Breeze wants Broadway and music, so we do Broadway & music.

Wednesday: Up at 3:30am for a full day of travel. Finally get to hotel in Manhattan @ 7pm. Have massive headache so Mrs Breeze orders room service and a couple cocktails which were AMAZING.
Thursday: 9/11 Memorial and a quick bite at a little cuban cafe on the way back to the hotel. Saw the play "& Juliet" that night. Play is REALLY good. Like really good. Solid A day.
Friday: Museum of Broadway in the afternoon which took us longer than expected so we grabbed a bite at Applebees (Fail) before the Billy Joel concert at MSG. Another A day.
Saturday: Spent 4 hours at The Met and saw like 1% of the place. Went to an expensive steak place on the same block as our hotel (Gallagher's?) which was good but felt a bit overpriced. My steak was a bit underdone, but I like mine "almost medium well" so whatever. And before you come at me about steak cooking, if it's cooked any less than that, I'll be sick for 2 days - save your takes. We saw The Heart of Rock & Roll in the evening - a brand new rom-com based on the music of Huey Lewis & The News. B- because the play prolly doesn't make it past 6 months and my back is kinda crappy at this point.
Sunday: Breakfast at an italian bakery (Angelina's) across the street from our hotel (W52nd @ Broadway) and the donuts were A+, the breakfast sandwiches were A+. So good. We wished we'd eaten there every morning. Walked most of 5th Avenue and back through Times Square and we took WAY too long shopping at a certain location (Kate Spade owns me now) so we grabbed dinner at an Olive Garden in Times Square before seeing Chicago (which was at 7pm, not 8pm, and we discovered this at 6:05pm). An A- day only because I'm a dolt and misread that we had an hour less than we thought. We had our sights set on a little italian place we'd seen a day or two before but that's all on me.
Monday: breakfast at Angelina's again - they had an $11 lemon eclair that I would push people into traffic to get it was so damn good. A little more walking around before we have to grab a cab to JFK, spend the first hour of the flight sitting on the tarmac watching plane after plane take off before we get to take off. Eventually get home around 2am.

Was super worried about hotel choice - I flopped the nuts on that one.

Great trip overall. Will definitely go again once my wallet recovers.