Bubba from Bagdad...sounds rigged.

***Socially maladjusted former Internet Poker Players Rant***

Speaking of berating the fish. The behavior I witnessed this weekend was pathetic. I'm semi used to the poker geeks openly talking about pot and implied odds, and dissecting hands with each other at the table, but when combined with a nasty attitude I want to cut their tongues out with a butter knife.

I'm playing at a 5/5 game (300-500 buyin) where the short stack has 150BB, and three players have 300BB+. The action is coming from a business owner from Belize, who claims to be a friend of Bob Bounahra and used to be a part owner of a casino with him. He loves to gamble. He's got about $2K. Straddles every hand, chases all draws, etc... Friendly guy, and interesting to talk to.

Down sits this youngish woman who immediately starts irritating me. I think it started with the loud, somewhat screechy voice. She buys in for the minimum and starts up a running commentary on how bad everyone plays--not directly berating players, but a whole bunch of "OMG, I can't believe he called with that!" etc...

She does a fair amount of limping, limping after straddles, etc..., despite the fact that almost every hand is raised pre, after which she usually folds her limp.

I have T8ss in BB and it checks around maybe 4 ways. I lead a Tc9s7c board and she raises small. I call. Turn is a K and she goes all in for her last 170 or so, pre-whining about how she flopped it and it's so sick that I got there, blah blah blah (I assume she put me on QJ). I fold and she scoffs "flush draw."

Later she aggressively bets a flush draw that gets there on the river and wins a decent pot, so she's not as weak-tight as I thought.

Shortly afterward she calls Belize's raise pre and check-shoves the flop. Belize calls quickly and a guy she's friendly with (chinese guy she knows by name) tanks. She says, "Come on in!" Friend folds. After the hand Belize keeps it friendly, but tells her she can't say anything to influence chinese guy's action multi-way. She gets pissy and starts screeching "I was just kidding! Relaaaaaax! He knows me, he knows I'm just kidding!" Belize says he doesn't know them and she can't influence actions.

A couple hands later she raises and Belize 3bets pretty big. Her friend tanks again and claims a big laydown. She folds and claims AK to her friend, who says he had AJs or something. She says she's not risking her entire stack (maybe $200 at this point) with AK. She'd rather wait for a big hand and bust him, blah blah blah. Belize says, "Well, then you don't know how to play a cash game. With all this money on table, you should try to double up quickly so you have more money if you get into a big pot. If you lose with AK you just rebuy." This sets her off, and she goes on about how she's a poker pro and he doesn't know what he's talking about; it's good for him, but she's not there to play for hours and hours, she just wants to double up (from her 60BB buy-in?) against a bad player and go home, blah blah blah.

It's about this time that she picks up her phone and starts furiously texting with friends, presumably about how bad everyone at the table is.

It was a bit crazy. A raise to 25 with one caller pre would most times lead to a 100 bet on the flop. She joked--and it was pretty accurate--that nobody was betting chips, just stacks and racks. Many hands went:
Pre: Raise 25, call.
Flop: Bet stack (100). Caller slides rack (500) into middle. PFR slides rack to call.

Belize picks up after winning a large pot to get back to $2K and leaves. I'm tempted to ask him if he's leaving because of how unpleasant she is, but decline because I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from punching her in the ovaries if that's his reason.

I’m ready to rack up when Belize leaves, but he is replaced with a guy I played with last week. He makes Belize seem like a nit. He raises every hand, and shoves by most rivers. He gave me 1300 in 20 minutes last week, so I stick around. Within 30 mins he is in for his fourth full buyin. And she’s astounded.

After a few minutes, texting isn't good enough; she needs to get on the phone and describe this table. She starts loudly proclaiming that she literally hasn't played a single hand since she sat down two hrs ago, and it's crazy action, and she can't get a hand... oh, and this guy just shoved with second pair and was called and was good... and every hand someone is shoving a rack in... and I haven't played a single hand at all... literally!

She somehow forgot about the 10-15 hands she had VPIPd, including a few pots she won.

During this time she's talking to a douchebag angle-shooter transplant from NY about how she was an online pro who now plays 5-10 live--yet she's going ape**** over pots that are ~$1000 like she's never seen them before. (Granted they were a lot more frequent than normal.)

So what do you do when texting and play-by-play aren't good enough? You guessed it--you use your phone to snap a pick of a pot with a few hundred chips in the middle, a half-full rack of chips AI, and a half-full rack of chips called on the other side of the pot, and you text it so your poker buddies will believe you. (It was a <1000 pot)

OK so all that is annoying, but not particularly egregious.

But she's talking to a guy across from her. I guess she played with him the day before and a friend of hers was severely berating him for being a bad player. I'm thinking, So you have friends who are even more annoying than you at the table? She says he was out of line, and it was embarrassing, etc... She's racked up her final $200 and is ready to leave. She sits out the BB, but is on the phone with a friend. Bad player from across the table gives her $20 and says just put that in blind next hand. She tries to explain that she can't do that because she has 200 behind, but eventually she ends up coming back in behind the button and posting 10. There is a small raise and two more callers along with her. She calls a Q-high flop closing the action, then shoves after someone c/r. Everyone Calls. Turn is a Q and she starts moaning about how she can't be good anymore, and everyone plays so bad, blah blah blah. River is a K. She flips over AA and wins. Quadruples up to $800 in one hand. All you ****ers who believe in Karma can suck it.

A friend comes over and they're talking about the guy who replaced Belize. He has some Beats by Dr Dre headphones on--which I'll admit is a bit incongruent because he's a 75-year-old eastern euro guy--that her friend keeps making jokes about. I guess they don't realize that Beats guy occasionally slips them off one ear. I doubt he could hear them, but the smarmy punk routine was grating nonetheless.

After winning with AA she's moderately more friendly, but she's back on the phone talking about the guy across the table. She describes him as the guy another friend was berating the night before, “But I’m being nice to him because he’s really bad and I don’t want him to leave or change tables.” I decide it’s pointless, so I don’t bother saying, “Uh, you must not realize that you have a loud voice—like Fran Drescher without the accent—and he can almost assuredly hear every word you’re saying.”

And maybe she’s just being nice to the fish (for once) but the only player at the table she had anything good to say about is a terrible player next to her, who FPSd and slow-played his way into a three-buy-in hole. She called him a pro.

FFS people. Stop and think for a second about where your profit comes from in these games!

IMO...

Villain did absolutely nothing wrong.

He also didn't slowroll you in any sense of the term (unless it took him forever to table his hand after you snap called).

And you were way out of line for snapping at him.

Gjustmytwocents,willnowreadotherresponsesG

Idc what anyone says, Sabr can berate that guy all he wants and he is right not wrong.

I think this pretty much proves my point.

The most famous player in the world berates players. People like it unless your the won getting berated.

Watching hu irish open, guy name is Beer, lol, what a cool last name.

I woulda simply tapped the table, said "nice hand", reloaded, and moved on to the next hand. I'm not sure why we would want to do anything else. Hollywooding is part of the game for some people; although an actual 1 or 2 minutes (which is an eternity) is probably excessive and time wasting for everyone at the table, it's still perfectly within the realm of gamesmanship, IMO.

Pokah, your logic makes zippo sense.

How bout this, sabr was giving him a pros perspective on how to play the game.

-1

Lmao I never seen -! before, Epic Im going to use that lmao.

Walked into the room expecting it to be a boring slow day, then wham, in walk two idiots that have no business playing anything above 4/8.

It ended up being not too bad of a Monday.

Here's the thing, it wasn't even like he was a total fish. If this was a known fish who loses all the time I wouldn't have reacted that way.

This guy just gave off that "douchebag" vibe.

Sometimes I amazed how inexperienced I am at live poker. Last night's 2/5 shot was my first experience at a timed rake game. When the dealer sat down and asked for everyone's 5 bucks it had to be explained to Me.

I have never sat in a timed game, nothing unusual about that.

Started my recovery week in Insanity. Had to take some time off because I had some nagging pain from old injuries and being older. Lol. Felt real good to get into it though. My energy, mood and body is feeling good right now.

Only 2/5 game that I know of to be timed is the borgata. Probably the best 2/5 in the country. Always 8+ tables going on the weekends.

My first timed was the 5/10 at the V. Never seen it, only heard about it before then. I went with the flow and tried to look as reg as possible. Pretty sure I came off as scared noob money though.

Yep that was where I was at. Awesome game.

Lmao at

[x] Ex Gang Banger.


hahahahahahahahahahahhaahhhahahahaha

Harrah's NOLA has time charge on all games, even 1/2 (or is it 1/3 there?)

Yeah you can actually steal in that game to stay afloat of the rake. Limp pots have something to play for other then 2$.

I thought those games had no cap? Totally different strat imo.

Cap is whatever the biggest stack on the table is, so not uncapped, but you can buy in to cover.