Chapter 1
“I knew what to do once he told me what he had.”
- Hero
It all started with an MP open. I was on the button. I waited until it was on me to check my cards, of course. Nobody's getting any free reads on me, not until it's my turn anyway.
First card was the King of clubs.
Oh yeah. I squeezed the second card like it was 7th street in a stud game in the hand of my life. First, I saw the suit: diamonds. I'm more of a suited cards kinda guy in these deepstacked games, so I was a little deflated. Even if it's another King, I can't get too excited. That is, until I looked and saw a big old capital “K” and a one-eyed majesty staring back at me. That's when I knew I wanted stacks in.
But not yet, young grasshopper. I eyed up my villain.
I'm definitely ahead. So I call.
It folds to the Big Blind. This guy is good. You're always at risk of prison rape when he's in the room. He makes it 250 to go. MP folds.
I eye up my new villain. He is a more formidable foe. He might have the figure of a 14 year old, but he has the poker physique of Bane. I still wanna get stacks in, but here's the problem: how do I get stacks if the person I am playing against is good. I put on my Imaginary Flamingo Hat of Deep Contemplation (don't try to make it into an acronym; I've tried, and it just doesn't work). If I want to beat the good player, I'm going to have to play this hand like no mortal man would dare play it.
I call.
The flop is … well, don't worry about the flop. I have Kings and in this crazy cash game of no limit hold 'em poker, that's all that matters for the moment.
Villain knuckles it to me, I point it back to the dealer, the dealer pounds the table. He burns, he turns. My butthole almost clenches. It comes ever so close.
Villain checks to me again.
Haha, nice try. I turn to the dealer. “I
also check!”
The river comes. I'm pretty sure there isn't even a single overcard to my pair of kings. And what does that mother****er do? I'll tell ya what he does. He checks.
This is the moment we prepared for. This is the situation we manipulated. I won't go so far as to say that we manipulated it with our minds, but then again it is kind of like that. I bet just over ˝ pot, something like 300ish into 550. Wish I remember exactly because the “ish” part was just the right amount of reds to look like a bluff. I think it was four. Four reds that is (so $20).
Villain gathers his black and green chips and goes all-in.
I wanna get stacks in. But this time when I play that phrase through my head, it comes out as "I wanted to get stacks in." Maybe the thing that I wanted before is different from the thing I currently want. Whoa, that's deep.
The dealer says, What?
Apparently I said that last part out loud. I say back gruffly, If only you knew.
And the dealer says, What?
I give a gravelly, Nevermind.
The dealer says, You know it's on you, right?
I ask for a count. The dealer says, $1960, and he tosses a couple of whites back to villain.
I say, Not $1962?
He says, The whites don't play.
I say, Even on an all-in?
And he says, Not unless they add up to at least $10.
I point out that they add up to 12. I hope that I won't have to explain that 12 is greater than 10.
I forget what the dealer says then, but none of that really matters because he has me covered.
There's nothing else the dealer can say or do that can help me. There are 27 cards left in the deck (I know because I counted them), but he won't be dealing any more of them.
So I turn to villain. I tell him how confused I am.
He asks what I have.
I tell him what I have.
He says two words I might never forget: Oh wow. Then, he tells me what he has.
The thing that I have is better than the thing he has, so I call. MHIG
I guess I wanted his stack after all