I thought it might be kind of interesting to start a thread where we post our most horrifically butchered hands of 2014.

You can criticize the way the hand was played if you like, although I already know how and why they are terribad. Since this is more about laughing than learning, I'll post results also. Spoiler alert: I run like the Jesus fish.

Here is mine:

I am seated the right of the biggest, drunkest whale I have ever encountered in my life. He will mega-station preflop and bomb/gii with literally any pair, and check-call literally any draw. He drinks Jack and Coke like it's water and will misread e.g. any two black cards as being suited. He's shown down a few of these sorts of "flushes".

Blinds are 1/2, and villain and I are 300 effective. I make it 10 UTG with KJ (lol #1) and villain raises to 20. The guy to his left cold calls, and the cutoff calls. Blinds fold.

Those jerks, calling in position. This is MY fish. I raise to 60 in hopes of getting heads up with the fish (lol #2 - because people who are incentivized to cold call 20 are LDO going to balk at 40 more getting 4:1 in position). If I catch a pair he will pay off guaranteed (lol #3 - then why not just flat?).

Well, it works, sort of. The whale calls, the next guy folds (maybe he should post in this thread), and the cutoff calls.

Flop comes super-dry and J high. I bet 100; whale calls, cutoff folds.

Turn is a brick and I shove. The whale snaps with AKo.

Sorry to rain on your parade, but this seems like a likely trainwreck. We have an official BBV thread (see stickies) for hands we don't want strat advice on, but just to tell the story. If we want advice/feedback, post it as a regular HH.