But I think he c/c or c/f these...he's not overbetting the river to foldout TT there

I certainly had an aggro image, but I just don't see him responding to the strength I showed by shipping as a bluff, nor for value with a worse hand. Can you put together a set of hands that raise the river that I can beat? Hell, give me one. The guy was your standard baby boomer retiree. Both him and his wife sitting there nut peddling, never bluffing, and missing value in droves for about 120 hands by this point.

Villain1 has $95 effective
V2 has $24 effective lol

Funny hand yestday, hero has AA in UTG+1 and raises to $11, v1 calls, v2 goes all in for $24, folds back to hero, hero just calls since other villain has PSB and he will fold a lot if I shove, v1 calls.

(Pot: $72) Flop comes TT7

Hero bets only $20 to induce and since villains money will go in if he continues anyways, V1 instashoves for $71 total (51 more), hero calls, V1 says "damn" and shows A6off, turn and river brick and hero scoops.

Why would he bluff in a dry side pot with Ace high?

because he is a



The hand you posted is exactly what i had in mind when I created this thread. Truth is, at least 50% of our villains are bad like this. Either they are donk passive or donk aggro and just have little clue about poker.

Isoing can be overrated. KJss plays great mway, no reason to noit join the he-haw-train w kjss

The whole point of this thread is to post the super standard donkfest hands that we will encounter. I want this thread to encompass the 90% donkaliscious situations we find ourselves in.

Running into a straight flush when you have the second nuts isn't representative of those 90% donkaliscious hands we will encounter.

One of the weaknesses of 2+2 LLSNL posts is that they tend to focus on those highly specialized difficult rare situations. The hand you posted is exactly the type of hands that get posted on here. And as such we are getting a "skewed" view of LLSNL play. The reality is that for the most part, we will be involved in donkaliscious situations which is what I want the main focus of this thread to be.

Please read the OP

Sorry haven't read every hand in here but I love this one, so I don't know how many of the "AHH the scare card hit! Not fair! Shove anyway!" hands have been posted.

1/2€, Barcelona.

Hero (250) is on BTN with KTo.
Villain (170) is SB. Tight, passive, clinical slowplayer, occasional spazz.

Folds to hero, raise to 7.
SB calls.

Flop T52 rb. (16)

SB checks. Hero bets 10, SB calls.

Turn K (still rainbow) (36)

SB checks. Hero bets 24. Villains shoves. Now the great thing here is I know he doesn't have a set, because that is a min-raise on the turn 98.5% of the time. It could be a shove if there was a flushdraw, but would still probably be a minraise.

This is AK, surely. If ever a hand was AK...

So I call. Villain shows...

QQ.

Then there are the FPS randobluffs that players do because they think they need to bluff occasionally but never know why.

One FOS FPS character illuminated me this week.

Hero open raises c/o will JTs. FPS villain calls on button, blinds fold.

Flop comes A33r. I cbet just over half pot, he raises. I fold.

He triumphantly shows me KQs. ??? Merging his bluffs?

Lol excellent! I see this nearly every session.

Dream table at the Cleveland Horseshoe this past Saturday, all loose passive limpers, raising only JJ+ and AK. I'm the "table bully" even though I'm playing about 20/14.

I limp behind 2 limpers in the cutoff with 6 8 . We go 6 handed.

Flop 5 7 J . I bet $10 into $12, button calls.

Turn Ace . I bet $27 into $32, button thinks for a second and calls (does NOT check his cards).

River Three . I bet $65 into $86. Button hems and haws, starts to muck, then pulls his cards back, cuts out $65 to see what it would leave him left, and makes the call. Shows A J .

"I haz 2 pair!", part 2.

Same session at the Cleveland Shoe, I get to limp in late position again behind other limpers, this time with 5 7 .

Flop is A A 5. All 5 players check.

Turn K Checks to me, I bet $8 into $10. I figure if I get raised, it will be a minraise to $16 (entire table doing this), and I'll have better than 4:1 odds to hit my flush (and watch river betsizing carefully to make sure I don't run into an Ax boat). Only one caller, from the blinds.

River: Jack . Villain checks, I bet $25 into $26. She insta-calls with King-8 offsuit.

Its a bad call but not donkalicious material

The whole hand from his viewpoint can be viewed as donkalicious.

Limp, call, call, call.

The play preflop is pretty donkalicious.

Flop is fine, though. Turn and river is ok vs. a villain with any craft in their game.

They were on the button. Where were they supposed to raise besides pre? on the turn?

Yeah, I was talking more on.turn and river play. Preflop is painfully bad otb

I disagree. It's dependent on the game. Last session I played I had two absolute maniacs at the table, both with deep stacks. Once, I did indeed call a 6BB bet in position after an up front raise, seven cold calls, with Maniac Major and Maniac Minor both in. I had pocket fives. The flop came down (T, 8, 5). Maniac Major made it 15, and Maniac Minor called out of turn. I raised it 40 on top, both maniacs called, and there was one cold call from a pretty decent reg who was thinking along the same lines as I was: stack these whackos. The turn brought a 4, and I figured Maniac Minor made the nut flush, and I was planning on folding after I checked it to him. He led out for 50 ( ) after it was checked around. The reg with the OESD knew his draw was no longer any good, and he folded, as did Maniac Major. There was 300 in that pot, and Maniac Minor had what I estimated to be ~120 in front of him. (I didn't want to stare at his stack too much, as I might have clued him in) I called. The dealer obliged by turning an eight on the river. I checked it, and Maniac Minor announced "All in", and I said "I call". Maniac Minor announced "Queen high flush", and showed a Q and some other little diamond, maybe a deuce or trey, I wasn't paying any attention, as I was setting aside my Kyuubimon figurine and flipping my hand while announcing "Full house". Yep, I had him covered, and he lost it all. I thought he was gonna cuss out the dealer and get himself permabanned, but all he did was glare, and say: "You hadda flip that eight", as he stormed off. Like it was the dealer's fault he laid me better than 7 : 1 to hit a ten-outter.

Before that, I called another 6BB raise with a whole bunch trailing behind with pocket threes. This time, the flop came down (K, T, 5 -- rainbow) no help. However, the flop was checked around, and I saw a free turn, which was a 3. Maniac Major led off for 25, and I popped it fifty on top. He called, and so did Maniac Minor. The river brought some irrelevant rag, and Maniac Major checked it to me. I simply grabbed a stack of red birds that was taller than the one sitting in front of him. Maniac minor folded, and Maniac Major called while asking: "You got a set?" I said "Yep", while rolling over the pocket treys. I guess he wasn't expecting that set. The Chatterbox sitting immediately to my right piped up, claiming to have checked a king, which made Maniac Major furious. It was pretty obvious what happened: he had a (K, 3) hit two pair on the turn, and thought it was good. Of course, if the Chatterbox had bet the flop, I would not have called. Maniac Major went off to reload. I clipped him for more of his chips before he decided he didn't want to play if I was in the hand. He still went broke.

One word you should never use when discussing poker is "never". If you have a reason to believe that calling cold with hands like (5,5) or middle suited connectors will be profitable, then that's what you do. If you don't, you're costing yourself $$$$

Here's one. Happened one of the first times I ever played live poker, hadn't thought about this in a long time until this thread made me remember this abortion of a hand.

Player A is this clueless young guy wearing sunglasses and has probably never played a hand of poker in his life. Player B is this drunken old man who is probably schizophrenic (acting very very strange, looks like a freak). Player A is in the SB, player B is in the BB. Player A asks "chop?" Player B says "NO!" Player A limps in and Player B checks by slamming his beer down on the felt and spilling foam all over himself.

Flop: KK8r. Player A checks, Player B checks behind. Turn 8, Check check. River 10, check check.

Player B turns up his hand instantly and says "I WIN!" He has... no... I can't.... He has ****ing AK. This is where it gets even worse. Player A shakes his head, says "nope.." and turns up... no... I can't... HE HAS ****ING K10! stupidest hand I've ever seen.

Btw, trust me when I say there is 0 chance this was collusion. There's 0 chance these players knew each other... later on player B tried to justify it by saying "I felt bad that I said no to chopping!" and player A just said "I thought he'd bet..."

$4 pot Kings full vs Kings full.


Oh yeah and a follow up because it happened against that old schizo...

schizo raises $20 pre, i call with 66 like $200 effective. flop 358ss, he bets $40, I call. turn Ao, he shoves, I tank forever and finally call based on live read that I thought he was full of ****. he has 82os.

Picking spots to check a best hand that can only beat a bluff on the turn so that your opponent bluffs on the river is a very typical play for me. I get the feeling some people can't fathom playing a hand that way because they are focused on being aggressive.

I love how "Typical Donkalicious Hands" has become stories about "clipping" guys for more of their chips until they don't play hands with you and then bust anyway, and dumb young guys vs old crazy drunk guys checking full houses down to the river. uh wat.

I'll give a typical hand instead of just being a whiner.

It's around midnight at a $1/$2 table in Parx. I've got about $550 in front of me, 21 yr old with backward hat that tries to give off image of a young internet kid to get action since I typically play pretty tight. I'm pretty friendly and talkative at the table for the most part.

V1 is in MP and has about $300 in front of him. I just took a pretty big pot off of him in a somewhat weird hand (this hand isn't typical but probably necessary for the hand I'll describe). I raise to $12 with J8s, older lady whose been tight shoves her last $33 total all in, V1 calls, I call get $21 to win about $80. Flop comes AT9r and V1 donks $30 into dry side pot. I flat, turn comes 2s putting 2 spades on the board. V1 says "same bet" and puts $15 out in front before going back for another 15. Dealer says the bet is 15. They argue for a while and I sit quietly, happy to know I'll get a discount to draw. He finally gives up and says 15 is fine, I call, river is off suit 7, he checks in disgust. I sense he might be tilted over the whole situation and announce all in hoping to get a loose call from aces up. He angrily folds A4ss face up, I win whole pot.

V2 has exactly $137 in front of him. He just lost a big pot to V1 in which V1 leveled the **** of him on the river of a hand where they were playing for a sizable side pot with a decent sized main pot also involved. The board read something like KQ2xx and as they got to showdown V1 announces "2 pair." V2 mucks and V1 flips Q3. V2 starts getting upset about mucking the winning hand while other guy involved in main pot shows me 99 and mucks. Floor says there's nothing they can do. This was on Thursday night and V2 starts venting about how he never mucks, he's not mad at V1, but he's so tilted because of the safety that got declined in the Niners Seahawks game that had him lose against the spread.

Last tidbit of info that may be relevant; I have 3b once in my 4 hours session, and I made it $32 over V1s raise to $10. He folded and I mucked KK face down.

Onto the hand.

Folds to V1 who raises to $12 from MP. CO calls, V2 calls on button, I raise to $40 from SB with KK. V1 thinks and flats, CO folds, V2 calls.

(Pot: $149) Flop: 679r.

I lead $75. V1 thinks then folds. V2 shoves for $97 and I call the last $22. I let him know that I have one pair, for real this time though. He nods.

Turn: 8

Villain flips T9o and river is not a T, sending $343 pot to V2 and making him feel a little bit better about losing $500 on the Thursday night football game and about mucking the winning hand.

Let's recap my actions and those of V2. After V1 raises in MP and the CO calls, V2 flats $12 of his $137 from the button with T9o. Marginal at best. Three betting is out of the question for him. Folding is a much better play but I suppose he has position in a multiway pot. However this is for almost 10% of his stack; folding is definitely the superior play.

I raise to $40. I probably could have made this more being out of position and with 3 already in the pot before me. I mucked my KK face down at the end of the hand and simply answered V2's question of "was I ahead with the 9s?" with a weird look and a head shake no. I heard several people speculate that I would never had made it that BIG if I had AA, and that it obviously wasn't JJ because then I would have had the straight, so probably QQ or KK. They were right about QQ/KK but JJ doesn't give me a straight and I probably make it BIGGER with AA lol. Very backwards thinking in LLSNL that you absolutely have to SQUEEZE value out of aces preflop rather than just raising big for value.

So my raise to 40 is essentially a raise of (40-12)=28 into (12+12+12+12+2)=50, or slightly over half the size of the pot. I think $48ish might have been better. Either way, a big raise is important there. We are going to get called by much worse hands.

Which leads to V2's next action: Call $28. He is now calling 28 of his remaining 125 with T9o in a 3 way pot where both of his opponent's have shown aggression. GOOD LAWD! This is why we make money at LLSNL. It didn't work out in this hand but if he's stacking off on that flop he's probably stacking off on flops such as: T42, 278, 38J, 5JQ, and maybe even flops like 6 T Q with the ol "I put you on AK" mantra coming into play (Remember he did ask me if his 9s were good before he hit the straight. What in the **** could I have less than 9s here?). In all of those situations we have even higher equity than I had in my example, although I was still a favorite in my hand.

I'm posting this very long in depth example to point out that these are the types of hands that will often lead to us making a lot of money. A disgruntled player sits down at our table and stacks off $137 with T9o. Just be willing to raise big pre (especially oop) with big PPs and then to continue on somewhat safe flops (this one was a little scary but I left myself room to fold to the bigger stack and at the same time let him know I was committed to the shorter stack).

I guess this hand qualifies from a month ago or so: (It's a bad beat hand, so I apologize).

Young Asian guy comes to the table ready to gamble it up. Basically announces that's what he's doing. UTG raises to $6, Asian calls. I make it $26 out of the small blind with AA.

Flop comes T52 with one heart. I bet $40. He shoves. I call (about $100 more). He has T9 of hearts. Runner/runner hearts. Ship him the $300ish pot.

I wouldn't show, but that doesn't seem like a horrible spot to bluff occasionally against a LP raiser who opens with a wide range and c-bets too often (which doesn't necessarily describe you). I do it occasionally when I have a 3-straight+3-flush. I think I would rather raise with KQs than AT.

So, this is a pretty standard hand for me.

One limper at 1/3. I raise to 15 in LP with AJ and get called by the limper. Sort of a standard younger thinking player who is neither aggressive nor passive.

Flop is KJ4. He checks, I check. Turn is a deuce. He bets 20, I call. River is a blank. He checks, I decide he doesn't have a king with a medium kicker and bet 30-35ish. He calls with TT, saying he put me on AQ/AT with a small chance of a flopped set.

I felt that, with my image, I only get one street of value from worse hands if I bet the flop, if that, but if I check, I can induce a bet from someone who thinks I either have ace-high or a pocket pair that isn't AA/KK/JJ and possibly get two streets of value. Of course, I fire away against a fish who will call me down with JT or 88.

No offence, my friend, but I'd rather read 100 posts by Canoodles whilst having my nuts teased by an electric sander than one more of these soporific efforts.

are my posts that bad hahahah