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Old 03-13-2019, 01:21 AM   #341976
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

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Originally Posted by whs1919 View Post
T
Plus I don't want to get accused of child abuse or something. Parents now a days are tripping. I had a parent send me paragraphs via text about the fact that we were going to wear gray pants, instead of black or white because that is what he had and he wasn't going to buy another color, so we needed to change it. He ended up getting switched to a different team.
lol
Had a mom bring her son to a select bball team tryout (highly competitive) a few years ago. Right from the jump she pulled me aside and said due to religious reasons, her son would not be wearing the team shorts and would not attend any games on Wednesday or Sunday. I told her that would be no problem.

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Old 03-13-2019, 02:35 AM   #341977
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Tell the parents of the kids who are misbehaving ASAP.

Be nice about it but tell them that itís now multiple times youíve had to pick them up on the behaviour and itís impacting the experience of the other kids

If you manage that conversation sensitively, the huuuge majority of parents of an 8 year old will take your side and will discipline their kids. Take it from this father if an 8 year old boy that weíre all aware that they can be naughty little ****s and need discipline from time to time

Then stay in touch with the parents on this as appropriate.

Other thing I would do is consult with the person running the league for advice on what you can do if it continuesZ
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Old 03-13-2019, 02:46 AM   #341978
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

the goal is to get the kids to fear you, like you and listen to you all at the same time
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Old 03-13-2019, 04:42 AM   #341979
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

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Since I read these posts last week, I have been contemplating revealing this or not. But if it helps only 1 other person, that will make me grateful.

DISCLAIMER: I may or may not reply to questions and am NOT looking for sympathy. Ask anyway, who knows?

My GF Paige of 11 years poured gasoline in the front and back seat of her SUV. Left the rest of the gas can open in the back seat. Found a road with a nice ravine on the right side, lit a cigarette and flipped it into said ravine when the inside of the car exploded. This was at 11pm on February 13th, 1 hour before Valentines Day. :flowers:

Great idea except that.... Fire and paramedics were on scene in time to save her life! Yeah! So she is currently at Parkland Hospital in the Burn Unit in Dallas. 2nd and 3rd degree burns to her upper torso and extremities. Will lose most if not all of her fingertips up to the 1st or 2nd knuckle. Inside of her lungs also scorched. On a ventilator... Oh did I mention in a medically induced coma? I know I am being flippant but w/e.

Seriously dude. Yeah I duded you. If you think that is a good idea, think it through very, very well. Battled your and other's demons on here myself. Life can't be that hard, can it?
Sorry to hear that. Must be really painful.

If I do decide to kill myself (I think it's probably about 50/50 to happen at some point) I'll make sure I don't fail. It will be the one thing in my life I won't fail at. My problems are my own and I don't think anyone can help me.
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Old 03-13-2019, 04:57 AM   #341980
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

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Lulzzzzzzzz... Take a look at the Federal Election Commission donation records of those under indictment. Kinda leans to one side.

Anyway, the loltasticness is great...



https://www.thecut.com/2019/03/celeb...e-details.html
It's technically a college application scandal. Ringers taking standardized tests is not unheard of in athlete recruiting. I'm curious if the private schools can be held liable as they can admit anyone they want for whatever reason.

Wow Cowboy. Don't know the last time I read something more horrible. Best to you.
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Old 03-13-2019, 06:04 AM   #341981
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

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Originally Posted by CowboyCold View Post
Since I read these posts last week, I have been contemplating revealing this or not. But if it helps only 1 other person, that will make me grateful.



DISCLAIMER: I may or may not reply to questions and am NOT looking for sympathy. Ask anyway, who knows?



My GF Paige of 11 years poured gasoline in the front and back seat of her SUV. Left the rest of the gas can open in the back seat. Found a road with a nice ravine on the right side, lit a cigarette and flipped it into said ravine when the inside of the car exploded. This was at 11pm on February 13th, 1 hour before Valentines Day. :flowers:



Great idea except that.... Fire and paramedics were on scene in time to save her life! Yeah! So she is currently at Parkland Hospital in the Burn Unit in Dallas. 2nd and 3rd degree burns to her upper torso and extremities. Will lose most if not all of her fingertips up to the 1st or 2nd knuckle. Inside of her lungs also scorched. On a ventilator... Oh did I mention in a medically induced coma? I know I am being flippant but w/e.



Seriously dude. Yeah I duded you. If you think that is a good idea, think it through very, very well. Battled your and other's demons on here myself. Life can't be that hard, can it?


****, thatís heavy Cowboy, from almost every direction. Canít be an easy spot for you at all.
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Old 03-13-2019, 06:11 AM   #341982
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Welp, took 5 days off from poker, went in tonight and was up a good amount after 2 hours after hittting 2 sets in 3-bet pots (seriously, I never ever run this good), but of course we're all about that grind life, and 7 hours later, after a whole lot of bull**** and 1 failed bluff, we book another loss. Pretty happy with my play overall, I know we can't always win, but this is seriously getting facking old.

I know the games aren't what they used to be, but every day I see fish win, worse regs win, yet somehow I can't seem to ever go on any sort of consistent winning run. I think in the last 2.5 years I've ran "good" for maybe 3 months and ran bad for like 20 months. No exaggeration. Had a $40K month during last WSOP followed by lots of losing since then. There is no way my skill level is indicative of my results. I have massive life-tilt, but it doesn't really affect how I play. Session after session I try to make good plays to run bad 80%+ of the time.

I know lots of people are delusional about their own ability, but I am roughly +$750K from poker lifetime, so I'd like to think that that's not the case with me, and I'm also confident that I've never been technically better at poker than I currently am, but the results are just not showing it. BTW +$750K is not a brag in any way or form, I'm sure many of you are "up" more than that from your real jobs in the last 10 years while being far happier than I am. I'm talking to myself but this really has to turn around at some point.
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Old 03-13-2019, 06:30 AM   #341983
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Would you be happy with your life if you were winning?
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Old 03-13-2019, 06:32 AM   #341984
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Maybe not happy, but happier. I wouldn't know what that feels like though.
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Old 03-13-2019, 06:38 AM   #341985
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***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Sabr, can you take a trip and play poker somewhere else like South America, Australia etc?

One of the few major benefits of poker as a profession is that you can go and work in a load of countries round the world. I know youíre in LA which makes isnít a hard winter but it boggles me that the North American pros donít ride out the winter in a warmer climate where the games are better

Change of scene may do you good...get out of the groove, meet some new people, see some cool places etc
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Old 03-13-2019, 06:45 AM   #341986
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

I don't really want to spend a lot of money right now, and I don't think my EV would be higher elsewhere. Life EV maybe, but like I said I can't really afford it atm.
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Old 03-13-2019, 06:46 AM   #341987
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

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Maybe not happy, but happier. I wouldn't know what that feels like though.
Can you imagine yourself being happy? If so, what are you doing?
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Old 03-13-2019, 07:46 AM   #341988
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Here's something I wrote back in December of 2014, which seems like a lifetime ago.

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Had my worst session in 6 months tonight, losing close to 1000 BB's.

The last 200BB's were AA vs KK aipf. Before the flop was even dealt I had a strong feeling I was going to lose, and sure enough a K came right on the flop. Good game. I had enough bad beats for one night and picked up.

I don't really feel bad though. Far from it. This isn't a bad beat post. I had made a ton of money in the past 6 weeks, so even after tonight's disaster I'm still up 6 figures for 2014, and unless I run horribly from now until the end of the year, it should stay that way. My hourly for the year is right around $100/hr, which I think is pretty good given that:

1) I have played a significant amount of $2/5 this year, in the absence of bigger games.

2) I have run significantly below EV at $10/20 and $10/25.

I haven't checked but my hourly for $10BB games this year is probably absurdly good.

Given that 6 months into 2014 I was only up $30K for the year or something stupidly low, I am quite happy at the hours I put in in the second half of the year as well as the improvements in both the technical and mental aspects of my game. I am far from where I want to be in both areas, but I definitely handle losing better than ever before. I think that feeling entitled to win is probably my biggest mental leak, so it's something I need to be very mindful of, and try to fix as I continue to move up in stakes in search of bigger profits. Poker is very unfair sometimes, and most people have no idea how bad variance can really be. I've had some brutal sessions this year but I'm fortunate not to have had much in the way of prolonged losing stretches. So I feel blessed.

Away from the poker table things have been good to me as well, and I don't think it's a coincidence that I've done well at the tables. I met a special lady, and I'm happy. That's all I'm saying.

For 2015 I need to work harder and do better still. I'm at the stage in my poker career where I can have a huge year if I don't run bad. I'm looking forward to it.
I seem to have been much happier back then, even though I am objectively better at almost everything now compared to back then. Better at poker, physically much stronger and in better shape, more mature, although I suppose more cynical as well.

I'm just tired of everything and mentally feel like an old man now. If you told me back then I would be no better off in 2019 than in 2014 I would have been pretty disappointed at myself. Come to think of it I am pretty disappointed. I have helped numerous people achieve things and go on to better things, but I can't ever seem to make myself better. I feel like I'll always be a disappointment.
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Old 03-13-2019, 07:54 AM   #341989
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Cowboy- thatís awful. Hope you are doing ok.


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Old 03-13-2019, 07:57 AM   #341990
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Sabr - there is a saying that there are 3 8 hour work days every day. For most people 8 of it is spent working, 8 is sleeping, but what are you going to do over the other 8 to make your life meaningful to you?

I suggest working to figure out that piece. Most people work because itís a means to an end. Poker is no different than a job in that for most itís unfulfilling but it allows you to afford a roof, food, and hopefully a few luxuries.

Donít be so focused on your ď8Ē hours of work. Find your balance and find out what youíre passionate about.




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Old 03-13-2019, 07:59 AM   #341991
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

I'm exhausted now, so don't think I could articulate my thoughts very well, but I'll write something longer up tomorrow.

My initial impression is that poker is holding you back. It seems like there's very little upside in it for you, and apparently it can exacerbate your depression. I would stay away from it in the short term. See a psychiatrist. Skype one if that's easier.
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Old 03-13-2019, 08:05 AM   #341992
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Cowboy, you have my deepest sympathies. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now.
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Old 03-13-2019, 08:36 AM   #341993
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Best of luck moving forward Cowboy. That sounds like a lot of heartache.
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Old 03-13-2019, 08:40 AM   #341994
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Sabr, can you talk about where you are on the path of dealing with this. Do you think you can beat it without professional help? Have you read about how the brain can self destructive by continuously cycling over the past or future instead of staying in the present moment?
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Old 03-13-2019, 08:48 AM   #341995
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

jeezus CC - That is truly heartbreaking. I will not even try and express with words. My thoughts are with both of you
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Old 03-13-2019, 08:57 AM   #341996
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

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Sabr, can you talk about where you are on the path of dealing with this. Do you think you can beat it without professional help? Have you read about how the brain can self destructive by continuously cycling over the past or future instead of staying in the present moment?
I go back and forth between mentally writing suicide notes, and thinking "I can get out of this" because my ego is too big and I refuse to believe that I can't do any better.
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Old 03-13-2019, 09:06 AM   #341997
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Wow CC, that's unreal man. I just can't imagine.

Sabr, best of luck to you bruh. I run depressive too so my only advice is to talk with a therapist/psychiatrist who will be there to listen and prescribe meds as appropriate. Then possibly work on a plan to get yourself out of poker or at least not have it be your main source of income.
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Old 03-13-2019, 09:26 AM   #341998
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

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I go back and forth between mentally writing suicide notes, and thinking "I can get out of this" because my ego is too big and I refuse to believe that I can't do any better.
We all have our own paths with this ****, which makes over-the-internet advice pretty lol I suppose. For me, solving was reading about how the brain worked and eventually deciding I had control. I then worked on shedding a victim mentality. But it was a long slog. I remember waking up and feeling good one morning and that it was so disorienting because feeling awful in the morning had become routine. So so many days when all seemed hopeless.

I look back at that time and I feel like that was a different person or a different reality.

So, I guess the thought I'd like to deliver is that if you can find your way through it (getting help probably a lot better than my ego driven I-can-do-it-myself approach), you can get to a point where looking back at this period will feel similarly odd.
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Old 03-13-2019, 09:27 AM   #341999
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

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If you manage that conversation sensitively, the huuuge majority of parents of an 8 year old will take your side and will discipline their kids.
Maybe in upsidedownland this would fly but not in USA#1

Skip sounds like he coaches at the nosebleeds tho. Great write up.
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Old 03-13-2019, 09:48 AM   #342000
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Re: ***Official "It Lives, It Lives" Chat Thread***

Great post 4_4. I recommended similar earlier; understanding it is the best way to combat it.
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