I'm exhausted now, so don't think I could articulate my thoughts very well, but I'll write something longer up tomorrow.

My initial impression is that poker is holding you back. It seems like there's very little upside in it for you, and apparently it can exacerbate your depression. I would stay away from it in the short term. See a psychiatrist. Skype one if that's easier.

Cowboy, you have my deepest sympathies. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now.

Best of luck moving forward Cowboy. That sounds like a lot of heartache.

Sabr, can you talk about where you are on the path of dealing with this. Do you think you can beat it without professional help? Have you read about how the brain can self destructive by continuously cycling over the past or future instead of staying in the present moment?

jeezus CC - That is truly heartbreaking. I will not even try and express with words. My thoughts are with both of you

I go back and forth between mentally writing suicide notes, and thinking "I can get out of this" because my ego is too big and I refuse to believe that I can't do any better.

Wow CC, that's unreal man. I just can't imagine.

Sabr, best of luck to you bruh. I run depressive too so my only advice is to talk with a therapist/psychiatrist who will be there to listen and prescribe meds as appropriate. Then possibly work on a plan to get yourself out of poker or at least not have it be your main source of income.

We all have our own paths with this ****, which makes over-the-internet advice pretty lol I suppose. For me, solving was reading about how the brain worked and eventually deciding I had control. I then worked on shedding a victim mentality. But it was a long slog. I remember waking up and feeling good one morning and that it was so disorienting because feeling awful in the morning had become routine. So so many days when all seemed hopeless.

I look back at that time and I feel like that was a different person or a different reality.

So, I guess the thought I'd like to deliver is that if you can find your way through it (getting help probably a lot better than my ego driven I-can-do-it-myself approach), you can get to a point where looking back at this period will feel similarly odd.

Maybe in upsidedownland this would fly but not in USA#1

Skip sounds like he coaches at the nosebleeds tho. Great write up.

Great post 4_4. I recommended similar earlier; understanding it is the best way to combat it.

Clearly someone missed thread strat on locking up wins

Disagree...discipline maybe the wrong word but getting everyone on the same page is really not that hard if you aren't a raving lunatic. I have coached 10 yo-15 yo (boys and girls) from club level to travel to complete novice rec leagues.

If the parents see that you are really trying to do right by their kid they will respond to you reasonably. Sure there are parents that think their kid needs more playing time, etc. But if they know you aren't just picking on their kid and truly are trying to help them become better players and better athletes the parents generally appreciate your efforts.

Just don't make a huge deal about it. "Hey little Suzy doesn't seem that interested in XYZ, how do you think I should approach her?" is an innocuous way to start it. Obv if the kid is a repeat problem then you need to be more and more direct to both the kid and the parent.

But yeah like Skip said it's also the coaches job to keep things in proper doses given age and skill level. I see the stuff Little Slim does playing pretty high level club lacrosse and can't even imagine her having the patience for this stuff 2 years ago. Everything needs to be age and skill appropriate.

I mean I watch coaches working with 3rd and 4th graders in lacrosse...I'll talk to them and ask how it is going.

Coach: "I have one girl that can even throw and catch!"
Me: "How much time do you spend on throwing and catching in practice?"
Coach: "Just the first 10 mins to warm up. Have to install an offense and a defense!"

Who's the problem here?

"I'll take the 49 year old cpa living vicariously through the sons he never had for $200 Alex"

Everybody.

The parents for not bestowing lacrosse talent to their kin.

The children for not having raw talent.

The coach for not knowing how to coach.

Damn that has got to be the right answer.

Boys are absolute animals. No thanks

“Install an offence”

LOL.

admittedly grunched but why is seemingly next to nobody suggesting that a potential suicidal guy do the standard thing of going to a doc/get on meds immediately

is it cuz the media said stuff?

Thanks. Your advice was excellent imo.

Grunch means you didn't read the replies. Which makes sense.

This was stated many times itt

K, legit apologies then as i only glanced like 3 pages, carry on

Welp, mostly because we're all trying to be the original one who comes up with something new and novel to recommend.

(Personally, I think Sabr should start drinking kombucha, and all of his troubles will be immediately fixed. None of this professional mental health nonsense -- which is so 10-minutes-ago anyway.)

Look dude, if you want to be "that guy" who can't ever think of anything new to add to the conversation, then by all means, play whip-out with your giant brain and lay it on us.