I haven't seen a lot of hands posted lately, not sure why. Hopefully this hand will show that live poker is still alive and well.

Hand is 1/2NL.

V is mid 30s female. Very much an amateur, not much of a thinking player, but she's trying. She is usually pretty fit or fold but can occasionally show up with some really random call downs or bluffs that didn't make much sense. I've played with her a few times before, so my reads are getting pretty good. She is also my only coaching student at the moment, and I'm also bankrolling her this session, but don't let that fool you. She's incredibly competitive. She may be a little drunk when this hand started. She's... my wife. We're playing at our kitchen table. She can sometimes get violent when she loses a big hand, and/or deny sex later on, so there's that. I think her stack is around $100, but our 3 year old twins occasionally walk by the table and play with our stacks or otherwise disrupt the game, so I'm not 100% sure.

Hero is a mid 30's white guy. I should have a pretty solid image. V is clearly coming after me pretty hard. I cover, probably about $200, but again, stacks are tough to count here.

Some background, the dealer in this hand has completely lost control of the game. The deck may be missing cards at this point, not sure. There is no floor manager to be found. There has been some unethical slow rolling, string bets, players flipping over other players folded (and sometimes live) hands, and other angle shooing. It's the wild west out there, but I think this game can still be pretty profitable, so I'm going to fight through it.

OTTH:

We're heads up, hero is OTB with 83

Hero limps. V gets angry when she doesn't get to see a flop and I'm trying to keep the game friendly, so I try to limit my raises and not open fold. V checks.

Flop($4) 235

V checks, hero bets $5, V calls.

Turn($14)235A

V checks, hero bets $10, V calls.

River($34)235A3

V donks out $10. I raise to $20. V says "no I don't think so, what the hell do you even have" and throws back my $10 raise. What's the play here?

Throws back as in "refuses to allow you to raise?" If so, I think the most salient background is this: and I'd allow it.

If you mean, clicks it back another $10, just call. Sure, straights are rare HU, but it would only take one card, and her lack of raise OTT doesn't eliminate it, given game dynamics. Also, see quote above on the chance that she's just button clicking.

just fold pre flop and if V gets annoyed when she does not see a flop then raise you want her to tilt and make bad decisions also limping is just such a weak play.

Is villain trying to min reraise to $30 or trying to actually throw your $10 back and say you just called?

If villain min reraised you the normal play is to just flat. A river 4 bet looks absurdly strong not matter what the size and you don't have the nuts. It's rare that you are beat but the range of hands that call any 4 bet includes a lot that does beat you. And if there is some weird bluffing thing going on you don't want to open the option for her to come back over the top.

If she actually threw the $10 back at you to make your action a call it's twilight zone poker without a dealer or floor in control. Your best option is probably to let it stand because it's not worth blowing up the situation over $10. If you want to antagonize her then consider making a bigger raise in place of the first one.

Depending on how she said it you may also have to consider that she has the nuts or something close to it and is being nice to you. She may be giving you back your raise to let you off the hook, I have seen that.

I've often said that part of the EV at 1/2 has to come from other than $ since you can't make a living doing it... so my question back is what are you optimizing for here?

Sex ldo

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Raise preflop. Getting her angry will eventually allow us to get her stack.

I wonder if denying sex involves a denial of licking her @sshole, because that matters.

I know someone that lived off of 1/2 exclusively for 10 years

The metagame here is vastly more interesting than the actual hand -- and you're also playing for much higher stakes.

She sounds like an exciting but volatile person. Tank the marriage, and with the twins in the picture, you're out half of everything you own -- and a lot of your future earnings stream. (Let's conservatively put that at $100k, or 500x your stack at this table. Probably much more.)

Keep her happy, and you're getting all kinds of +EV in the true high-roller game of your marriage.

So what you want to do is play your A game 95% of the time at this table -- and end up on the short side of one hand a night where it appears as if she has outplayed you something fierce.

That moment has arrived. Assuming that she raises you, give her a long look, force a thin smile after about 15 seconds, and then muck your hand. Make sure it's deep in the muck and no one ever sees it. Don't say anything, and just ask for the next hand to be dealt. It's okay to be a little testy.

After the game, when everyone has gone home, tell her that was a hell of a read she made. From that moment on, I'd offer you a version of PAHWM -- but we all know where that's going. Enjoy the ride, sir. Enjoy the ride.

The two of you are going to be a good enough show that the rest of your soft-playing friends will come back and drop money as often as you want.

So you secure +EV at the small game, too.

Were there even other players in the game or is it only you and the wife?

Unless specified otherwise, I assume it's a HU game (not just this hand).