A few months before the coronavirus crisis, I was invited to a home game with only five Villains. I was acquainted to all of them to some extent. I was permitted to sit on any position on the table (allowed to pick which between which two adjacent Villains I could sit).

All Villains have me covered (this is an unlimited buyin event and they all have more than $500). I am starting with $200.

There is no rake. We are tipping the dealer $1 a hand for pots greater than $10 (which is most of the time).

Clockwise, without loss of generality, the Villains are as follows (all Villains are male and white):

Villain A - late 30's - 40/25, 3B 3 - this is clearly the smartest player on the table, but has poor self-control, and outside the game, is terrible with money. He plays way too many hands in terms of calling and will not fold sufficiently to 3-bets. He is very good at reading people's physical tells, but does not have a sufficient understanding of the technical aspects of the game (he has not done any courses or literature on the game). Has played at the casino on a number of occasions and overall is a small loser. Uses position extremely aggressively and bluffs a lot but also often in the wrong situation.

Villain B - 50's - 50/10, 3B 1 - uneducated fish of limited intellect, plays casual pub poker once a week.

Villain C - early 30's - 35/18, 3B 9 - the next smartest Villain after Villain A, he will 3B light sometimes (unlike A), and will fold to 3bets. Perceptive and tricky, he is the only casino reg, although it's doutbful whether he truly knows the technical aspects of the game very well (plays too many hands). Overall breakeven to marginal winner at the casino.

Villain D - early 40's - 53/25, 3B 12 - a middle-aged, bearded guy you would not want to meet in a dark dungeon in Dorchester. Has had several stints in prison for amphetamine-related issues. Plays extremely aggressively postflop and pounces on any weakness, but notice that preflop he has a tendency to merely call raises.

Villain E - 40's - 30/8, 3B 3 - another fish but not so much to the extent of Villain B.

All villains win slightly less than 50% at showdown. Villains A and D know how to fold when they're beat but they also bluff a lot, Villain D especially so.

The theoretical questions are as follows:

(1) Between which two Villains should I sit down?

(2) How should I adjust my range? Should I play tighter or looser than usual? Should I have a bigger or smaller VPIP/PFR than usual? (On a 6-max table online of reasonable players, my stats are about 22/18 with 3bet of 6-7.)

(3) How should I adjust my 3-bet range? (I probably already know)

With this line up I think between D and E is the best seat. That puts hero right after C & D. That gives hero position on two of the aggressive villains and that is the best we can do. Particularly since you note that Player A won't 3 bet light, so he is less dangerous preflop. There are advantages and downsides to every slot at this table so unless they habitually always take the same seats you will have to play that by ear every time you come.

The table is excessively loose even for 6 handed which favors a tighter range. It's also deep which favors a looser range a bit. I would go with a tighter range for opening and raising but take advantage of your position after C/D and try to see some more flops in single raised pots.

Polarize your 3 betting range, either strong value or bluffs. You probably want to 3 bet a little more but bet sizing starts to matter. If opening sizes and 3 bet sizes are big you need to be careful because you may be committing too much of your stack for very many bluffs.

1) I sit between B and C. Having the god seat on the weakest fish is my first priority, and getting position on A, who uses position very aggressively is my second. Having C have position on me is not ideal, but way better than A or D, and he seems pretty predictable.

2) Against these Vs, and playing short-handed, you should be playing more hands and be more willing to call raises with speculative hands, so I'd prolly be looking at something like 30/20.

3) 3-betting range should probably be adjusted up linearly for fat value.

I'd ditch all the reads you think you have and just focus in labeling them "passive, aggressive, good". Sit left of the aggressive / good players, and right of the passive one's. All these details about their age, beards, lifestyles, are irrelevant and just distracting.

Nice ambiance! Thanks for all the extra details.

I'll agree with Garick, though for different reasons. If Player D repeatedly does things that can get him in prison, you don't want to be sitting next to him. A disagreement on a hand can turn into a shove, shouted words and the end of the game. Or worse.

If Player A is a matter at soul reads, you don't want to be directly across from him where he can stare you down. Sitting between B and C, there's no reason for you to be making eye contact, and he has less to work with.

dont worry so much just play loose in pots you can get in cheap and tight in the others.
until you know more dont bluff just semi bluff with value as you are going to get extra calls being new there.
tip more so you are welcome to come back as dealers in private games have more to say about things.
dont talk about poker and hands especially, just listen to them. talk about something else.